How to parent a dramatic child?

My husband and I could use some assurance from experienced moms. Our oldest just turned 8 and suddenly everything is very dramatic and life is horrific and unfair. We felt like we were doing things wrong and making her feel this way. But it seems no matter what we do it isn’t enough. We have “her days” where we drop her 3 year old sister off with grandparents and the 8yo has my husband and me to herself all day. But when we head home it’s “we’re done already?” Or “was that it?” And heaven forbid we tell her to take her cup in the kitchen or clean her room. And I know she sounds spoiled, but I promise she isn’t. She hears “no” plenty, has her tablet taken away when she isn’t listening, knows what is expected of her. She has always been this sweet, caring, kind kid and still is but sometimes my husband and I get this attitude out of nowhere. I talked to my best friend who has a son that just turned 8 and she said she’s dealing with the same thing. So, my question is… is this really the age for all that emotion to start happening? I thought I had a few more years. I always hear of Preteen angst, but is pre-TWeen really a thing? I’m just trying to figure out if this is an age mood swing or I’m just failing as a mom over here. Thanks all!

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Wendy who does this sound like

Pre tween really is a thing.

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My daugther is super moody. She was so sad and crying cuz the gas station didnt have the ice cream she wanted.

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My 8 yr old daughter is in the same mood at times… pretween moody girl. You’re definitely not alone.

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Mine just turned 9… EXACT same way… you’re not alone

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Mine is 9 and everyone hates her and nothing is fair and we don’t listen to her and no one cares what she wants🤷🤦 trust me… It’s the age!

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Yes, it’s normal, but that also doesn’t mean it should go unchecked. I would suggest the Love and Logic parenting books.

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My 9 year old is the same. She’s a moody little monster right now. She has always been the sweetest child, and she still is, with other people. But for her dad and I, she’s a mess.

She also started her period last summer. So, I know that attributes to a lot of this. But the pre-tween is real.

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Mine turned 8 an did the same thing. Now hes ten an its worse🙄

It’s gotta be an age thing!! Mine is the same way too!

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I have a son who’s 8 and a daughter who is 7 and it’s already started with both of them. Because my kids feed off eachother sometimes, I’m dealing with the same thing from both of them at the exact same time. I thought I was doing something wrong too… turns out, it’s just the age. My daughter is so much worse than my son. He will tell me how things are unfair when privileges are taken for his responsibilities not being up to par but that’s the extent of it with him. With her… everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING is just not to her liking or her expectancy. Can’t wait to see how the teens turn out :woman_facepalming:t2::tired_face:

I would check into her friends. Kids are really easily influenced at this age and out now 11 year old had issues like that when he was around 8/9

Preteen. But I took all electronics away at the beginning of summer so my kids go outside.

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I feel this post, my oldest girl is 12 than 9 and a 3yr old boy, my oldest went thru it starting around age 8, my 9yr old in the past 4months has done a complete 180 on my she was so innocent and now it’s like I can’t do anything, she’s ten times more indecisive and the smallest of things will set her off, also literally everywhere we go all together the whole world crashes down. It must be part of the hormones and such but I was praying it would wait just a little longer

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My 8 year old is the same way lately!

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Yes it is the age…just tell her to go into her room till she composes herself…been there…you too will get through this…now you know why parents go grey… hahahahahaha

having raised mine I will say this will when u look back be a miner problem they have all their little phases to go thru

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NOOORMAL. My 8yo is slowly killing me… theres a burst of hormones around this age to prep their bodies for puberty.

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It is not the period it is the period before the period…pre teens are harder then the teens …

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My daughters 7 and I’m dealing with the same thing! Every other thing I say I get an eye roll or a sigh already! WTH! I called it the sassy 7s but she’s still sweet when she wants to be! Lol

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yep her hormones are changing just choose your battles and let her know that she better respect you and your house

Honestly I wouldnt do any separate days will her till she stops with the attitude. When she shapes up she gets fun time alone.

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Its like their hormones have a growth spurt around that age. Super moody!

Its normal. My almost 9 year old pulls this and we’re strict parents.

If she starts acting out in public put on the breaks and take her home

I wanna say age and hormones are starting…mine is turning 9 in July and her boobs are already forming so we had the talk…she even told me somedays I just dont feel like me mom…good luck and prayers for all of us!!!

My stepdaughter started her period when she was 9. Those hormones get to going and they can turn the sweetest kid into anything. Hoping for your sake and sanity it’s just a faze.

Oof. Try not to take it personally. I’m #3 of 5 girls. Try to emphasize on asking her opinion of the event. If she’s pumped about it because she got to share her version of the experience with you, I believe she wouldn’t see it as so… little? Kids just want to connect. If you guys did cool stuff but didn’t share the excitements or even just open the door for it… it Can seem drab to a drama queen. She’s trying to express! Give her a good path to werk.

Yes!!! This is the pre tween. My Red headed dtr just turn 12 and she still has my head spinning like the exorcist!! Can’t remember anything talks back doesn’t listen and the list goes on…

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My step son was the same way. Its started at 9 and hes 10 and a half now. Still going through it.

8 and 9 year olds are straight drama. We had the “my family doesn’t love me” complaint so many times these last two years. :roll_eyes:

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The fact that you think you are failing means you are doing a great job!! Seriously it means you care and are doing what you should be!!
Keep doing what your doing, now a days kids start ‘tweening’ and ‘teening’ early.
Wouldn’t hurt to find a counselor, maybe she needs someone to talk to that won’t ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ her, someone that doesn’t show authority.
You are doing great momma, don’t beat yourself up too much!

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Does anyone else feel like kids are going through this at a younger age? I swear it has something to do with all the additives they put in food and the environment now…just my opinion…

Normal! My just turned 9 years old has been doing this on and off his whole life, he told me the other day none of his friends have chores and this isn’t the 1800, I asked him to put his folded laundry away. He laid on the floor and whined for 20 minutes. Set rules and stick to them, I also post on a mom group asking what chores kids his age do and I read him the responses even the ones where people said he was spoiled

My 9 year old (turning 10 tomorrow) has had a tough year, no advice from me, but I feel your pain :tired_face:

Yuo my son is 9 exactly the same!!im going crazy!

Pull up your boot straps it’s going to be a rocky ride.

She is just trying to push your buttons try ignoring her when she carries on if she is getting a reaction from you she will just do it more and when she doesn’t want to do chores just let her know that she won’t be doing something that she wants to do because she can’t pull her weight

I’m glad to know that I’m not alone my son turned 8 and he’s all about attitude and backtalking I mean I don’t know what happened to my sweet well behaved boy

Probably going into puberty. My nephew is the same way. Hes 11

My 8 yr old is starting to show more attitude. She actually said the other day I was mean (because I wouldnt let her have a soda) and I told her “I’m your parent, not your friend. I will play with you and have fun but I will also put my foot down” then I just give her the “look” with other things and she k ows if she pushes it she will be spanked. (Not telling you to spank) just be consistent with punishments and if that doeant help make up more punishments.

Get prepared it’s going to last until she is 25

My daughter started the drama and emotional stuff around 8 also. She’s 11 now and everything is the end of the world. We have had issues with disrespect but that is one thing I won’t have

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Its normal. 100% normal. before I had my son I helped raise 4 kids all of them went through this. Patience,time alone,time with the parents,and a strict schedule was the only things that made the bad days few and far between. Its tough I know we are going thru it too with my sassy 5 year old…smh.

Every child is different. Different emotions, different lives…

My son is 10 about to be 11 in September and still does this 🙆 totally normal as I found out…I felt the same at first…now im like ok ya whatever lol

You need to stand firm and consistent . because if you don’t it will get worst. 16 is around the connor . you loose your rights.
This is the easy age . take charge.

That’s my 11 yr old to a tea!! She’s so dramatic all the time. Everyone hates her, people being rude and disrespectful to here yadda yadda yadda must be the age

My 8.5 year old is doing exact same thing I’m so glad it’s not just him :joy:jeez I love him to the ends of the earth but it sure his hard work :man_facepalming:

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My kid is 13 and I’m still waiting for the terrible teens to hit. crossing my fingers, I think I might’ve dodged it

Teachers at school said this is age that they notice drama starting with school

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I have a 9 yr old daughter whose acting the EXACT same way!

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Sounds like puberty. That can go on for years before she fully devops in that sense…after that you get the awesome pms and teenage years.

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When mind acted like that I spanked them. They are great parents themself now

Welcome to her growing up
We have three girls
They were all cute and innocent now they got older 12/10/7 and can be so mean… grouchy… crabby… all that
It’s gonna be a fun ride

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My nephew is the exact same and he is 9 and it’s been nursing for just over a year and his parents stay in him about it but right now none of us can really deal with him

I’m going through the same thing with my 9 year old. It’s definitely a thing. Hang in there! I have tons of experience with Tweens so this is normal. :woman_shrugging::heart:

That’s about the age my girl started acting exactly like that and she will be 10 in 2 months. If you figure out what to do let me know cuz I’ve done it all and nothing works. :tired_face::tired_face::tired_face:#helpme

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I have had no issues with any of my girls too bad until now… Ya 15 is GREAT!!! Cant wait for the other 2 to get that age lol

I have four daughters :joy: 7/10/12/14 I’m losing my mind, from the mood swings and overdramatization of everything. You sound like a good mom,it’s not you I guess this is just like the Terrible Twos but with hormones

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Seems to be the age . I don’t know you or what you are doing or not doing but I know you are not failing as a parent because alot of people are going through this . My daughter has been like this as well all you can do is continue to do the parenting y’all are doing because in my experience what u speak of is only the beginning my daughter turned eleven today and trust me she is a drama queen always wants to be the center of attention . I just love her and teach and treat her the way I do my other kids and hope that she retains the lesson and grows into a good adult . Life is hard all you can do is steer and hope

My 8 and 11 year old boys are like this too!!

I have 2 8 yr. Olds one bio, one bonus I got weekends. SAME thing with both. From two different households so it must be a real thing lol I’m so glad it isn’t just me :grin:

8 is when things change for them. Don’t worry it will be ok

That was my 8 yr old son till we put a stop to his attitude we had to be mean ground him take everything away but it was worth it I will not have a want to be entitled kid and I tell all three of my boys you move it or use it out it back you make a mess clean it up you do as we say always they got it now. But yes it’s just an age thing it will pass

The clicks in schools, bullying, joking around. They are at the start of finding out what their personality is going to turn into. Then teenagers mood swings because of hormones hit in a few years.

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My first grandchild a girl is now 16 has always been jealous yet gets the most or what she wants it by now just does it. They come from divorce parents. The “father” is. Real dead beat. Never pays etc. Know not your situation but… hopefully one day her and her 12 ye old brother will get along and yes we give the “one day your sibling will be the inlt one you have”. ??? Just their ?? Character. Their “way”. You can talk to your pediatrician for some help. Sometimes in schools or libaries they have group s meetings good luck dear. Sure I didn’t help but…

You basically just described my almost 7 year old. The last few weeks she just did a 180

You are not failing as a mom this is just an age thing to test our patients & sanity. I’m going through the same thing with my 9 yr old

There may be underlying issues. Such as bullying at school that she is ashamed or afraid to tell you about. These children are not all being raised as we raise our own. See if you can get her to talk and see if something else is wrong. That was my experience.

my 8 yr old is ALL drama

You are a rock star mom!!! A lot of parents wouldn’t or can’t give their kids personal time often, so it is awesome that you do this for her. It is definitely an age thing, my 12 yr old went through it, and now we are dealing with other preteen stuff. I also had 3 younger siblings and 3 younger cousins that I was close to, and they they ALL went through that stage.

My daughter just turned 11, and we have been dealing with the same thing for years.

My daughter is 9. Its like a swithch went off and she isnt my sweet girl anymore. We might have 3 good days yhen she is just rude toneveryone in our hoyse. We took the tablet and electronics away. Time in her room. She got so bad and we had to havr her eat dinner in her room. I am glad inam not the only one

Keep being her parents. Make sure she okay and nothing is going on outside of the house but never, ever parent with guilt. It’s one of the worst things we do with/to our children.

I have an 8 year old girl something here I feel u

Yes my son is 8, same thing.

Keep up the discipline and welcome to the preteen years. They will be rough but you can do it. Just stay strong.

Yeah my daughter got super emotional right around her 8th birthday (she’ll be 9 on the 30th), it suuuuuucks, she cries about everything.

Don’t think just because she’s 8 it can’t be hormones cause they can be an issue at younger ages nowadays just be consistent
with her and let her know that as her parents you’re still in charge

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My son gets restless. Maybe come up with chores to do together. My son is almost 7 and he loves to help with the dishes, cooking, mopping, light cleaning (except his room lol) we started playing word rhyme games and reading at night before bed.

My son has his moments. But 8 was when he had a new sister or even now a younger sister. There not mature enough to put resentment to the side . Sounds like she needs to be put in her place . My boys 1q almost 12 and he has his moments but he does what i I ask. Sometimes when i I know he is stressed i I help him out and not make it harder but he wouldnt wouldn’t treat me like that on purpose . There always a reason and hormones for girls this agenis a true factor they go through puberty for long duration of time starting around 8 and 9

It’s her hormones ! She may be having changes now in her hormone levels . It’s also a girl thing . I have 2 boys and I girl and the daughter was the one who started all
Of this early . Patience , my dear . This too shall
Pass .

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I would start sitting her down for heart to hearts. My daughter was like this, and I think she just needed to express herself more. Taking her out and spending quality time wasn’t enough. I needed to reach her on an emotional level. I would sit her down and tell her how I loved her, and loved doing nice things for her, but how much it hurt me when she wasn’t nice to me. I didn’t yell. I didn’t blame or guilt. I just expressed my feelings, and let her express hers. She’s almost 11 now, and mood swings are more common. But now that I know how to get in tune with her, things have been a lot better. Goodluck :purple_heart:

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This puts my mind at ease. So glad I’m not alone. I have an almost 8 and 3 year old boys and it’s a battle everyday. Sometimes we let the video games go past the 1 hour mark to keep peace in the house. Already got hit with the “you love my brother more than you love me” statement. Ughhhh… break my heart.

Any issues at school or just at home? I would say hormones really screws up emotions. I didn’t go thru that thankfully. Boys go thru it too. Not usually at 8 though. But I started a new school at 8 so probably hid my emotions.

Girls start puberty and periods as young as 9 years old and attitude changes happen before that. You are not a bad mom at all. You are doing everything to make sure she feels loved still.
Talk with your husband about her behavior and stay on the same page about the steps you’re taking to handle it and then have a day where you sit down and talk gently to her about it, how she makes you feel and how that behavior is not ok and how you’re going to handle it until she takes a breath and calms down.

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Read American Girl the care and keeping of you with her!

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My daughter is almost 9. She has also changed a lot over this year. They are growing up. She may be hitting puberty early. Just do your best.

:joy::joy::joy: welcome to pre-puberty…only 10 years to go!:joy::joy::joy:

Stick to your guns…this too shall pass…and all that cliche jazz. There are several times in life where our kids push the boundaries to see how far they can go. Stay strong.