Not okay. Set him straight
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If he say then it’s his raising I wouldn’t help wash a sick then you’ll see him Change his little mind quite fast 
Tell him next time to climb down off his cross, someone else can use the wood.
Married never yours or mine ours
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Time not to argue but talk. He’s a son and has been. Couples counseling
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I wouldn’t say stop doing for the child, because it’s not the child’s fault (minus drs appts/school conferences if you have to leave/miss hours at work). What I would say is tell your husband if that’s the way it is, fine, you parent child and I’ll parent your child. If there’s no middle ground it’s going to be a constant battlefield, but with everything that comes in life there are boundaries that need to be set. If he can step up and realize that you are treating his child like you do your own, maybe it’s time to come to a compromise, until that time tho, don’t ask me to do anything. Still love his son like you do your own though, bc again, it’s not that babies fault his father is a douche
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You both need to agree on “house rules” for both children. They need to be the same for both boys and the one that delivers the instruction should be the biological parent, because it’s natural for them to receive correction that way. However, absent the biological parent if a discipline needs to be enforced, since you have the agreement it should be adhered to even if the bonus parent has to deliver the instruction. A house divided will fall, but a united one will function much smoother and successfully.
Point blank tell him he gets no say I’m things regarding your son because that’s not his child just as his son is not yours-let him. I’d also tell him he needs to be the parent & get his son to all his appointments & activities b/c your not his mother-again, per him. He’ll either figure it out or get straight.
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That’s a hard damn no for me. My bonus son is OUR son. Period. If he ever told me it was his son I would be so hurt I wouldn’t come back from that.
If the mindset stays like this your relationship is gonna break. Y’all need to have a serious talk and yes I know this from personal experience. Ofc with my experience the child figured out that he could cause issues with us when he got old enough to realize what was going on and would play us against each other. We almost divorced until my husband finally realized we both had to work together. We also have kids together so it wasn’t hard for any of them to figure out the differences between them.
Do it to him. Tell him he is no longer aloud to weigh in or make decisions that come down to your son. Tel him to worry about his own.
Start letting him do everything for HIS son.
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Yah no. My moms husband did this.
He’s not showing you he wants to equally parent. What’s good for one is good for the other and that’s how it needs to be.