Ok mamas my daughter in 9th grade she has a nasty attitude and tells me all the time she don’t care and can do what she wants I don’t let her hang out with her friends unless they come to the house due to her attitude she has no cellphone cause she don’t know how to act with one she abusises social media when she had one now I just got a call from school sayin she skipped already 2 classes and is in iss any suggestions what I should do with this 14 yr old girl she is very rebellious
Get her into therapy to see what is really going on with her.
Ouch. I was this teenager. My grandma went as far as sleeping in my bed room and I was still bad. A definitely think being stricter will help and therapy. I was going through a lot at my age, but no one really took it seriously and neither did I so I ended up hurting myself worse
I think maybe having a day just the two of you do fun things, ask what’s going on, try to be supportive. I was a young offender/at risk and the more you pushed with the rules, the more I went the other way. Try from a supportive stance, try to understand. Is she going through anything? Emotions run high at this age, does she need extra help (thereapy, anxiety).
i was this teen when i was living with my parents. tbh the only thing that worked with me was not feeling 100% controlled and feeling like i had some sort of a say. when my dad wouldn’t let me out of the house and such, i became 10x worse, sneaking out and everything else. once we sat down and talked about boundaries and such i definitely got my shit together keeping her stuck in the house probably isn’t the best
Mine is going through the same thing, shes 13 and in 8th grade. We are tired of using punishments though cause her attitude when she gets them makes me want to get physical, so instead we are trying a reward system. She is getting $ for every A or B on her report card, if she goes a certain amount of time without reprimands we are going to go to six flags, etc. Shes had such a bad attitude for so long that she has had nothing awesome for a while, so we are hoping this works. Positive reinforcement instead of punishment.
I’m telling ya my three older babies 22, 18 & 17 are not like my 10 year old. They have no idea sometimes that what they say can hurt someone’s feelings and or isn’t appropriate. (I tell her ask yourself if you would be hurt by what your about to say) They are desensitized through social media. I agree with the other mamas in that you should seek therapy for her. This way she won’t feel intimidated and will open up. They can help her learn how to cope with what she is going through. Also just love on her as much as you can! Every time she’s upset say I love you and when your ready to talk about it I’m here. Hope things get better!
Is she being bullied…therapy will help to maybe get a straight answer from her or try taking her out on a mom and daughter date and try to get her to talk to you about what’s really going on
Everyone has different parenting tactics and styles and I’m fully aware that times have changed so no need for any backlash but I will say that I spoke to my mother once like this and let me tell you, I’m now 35 and have never raised my voice to my mother since or have given her any attitude. I said I didn’t care about her rules, and that I didn’t need her blah blah blah. In 20 minutes she had a suitcase packed for me and my dad had me in the car and dropped me off at a friends house at the side of the road. Ignored my phone calls for an entire day. As much as it killed her, she did it. I was definitely whistling a different tune when I was allowed to come back that’s for sure!
Put her in a boot camp works pretty good counselor at school can help you with that
Therapy. Get to the root of it. You are still your childs advocate. Something could be going on and they need some guidance.
I’ve yet to come to that, because I only have an 7 month old. But they are still children and they are your child.
Before I took a psychology class, I thought an ass whooping is the answer to everything. It’s really not.
She may feel lonely. It’s quite possible that’s she’s become reliant on her phone or other forms of communication to feel connected to other people if she isn’t really getting to speak to her friends at school or hanging out with them anywhere besides home. She may feel isolated and controlled. I know I had a very bad attitude with my mother for those very reasons. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to do anything as if I wasn’t trusted and if I was allowed to do something, it felt like I was having to spend more time texting my mom about what was going on than actually getting to communicate with my friends or if I wasn’t communicating with her, I was waiting for her to contact me for ridiculous amounts of time making it hard for me to enjoy the time I was spending with my friends. Maybe take a different approach? Allow her limited time on certain things or let her spend time somewhere close to home instead of having to stay at the house. Give her options as to where she may be able to go and a time that you expect her back/picking her up that way she feels like she’s getting to make choices for herself… ask her how she’s feeling or if there’s anything that might make things less stressful on her? She may not know how to respond at first because it may catch her off guard but ask every so often throughout the month. It may help.
If you need a creative punishment, take her to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Let her see what can happen if you don’t take life and school seriously.
My daughter was the same way rebellious. She didnt tell me alot cause i was mom. After she grew up and had kids she seen what i was talking about. I lost her 7 years ago just be there for her and cherish the time you have with her.
When i was rebelious in high school it was because my mom started dating a new guy and was putting all her time into him. Also his daughter wasnt a very good influence. Has anything changed in her life ? Like a dad not being present or are you completely involved in other activities or work and not paying her much attention ? Kids act out alot of times because they arent getting attention they need from their family. Could be that she needs more one on one time with her parents.
I was that little girl once. All I can say is to keep reassuring her that you are there for her. Maybe something happened to her that she’s ashamed to share with you. That’s one possible reason for this behavior.
She’s being a typical teenager…love her through it,pray for her,this to shall pass…I went through it with my son…yes go to the school and she’s gonna test you…Just Stand your ground… Talk with her about her day… Your doing a great job, we are their parents and not their best friend
IT GETS BETTER, but may get worse first, Tell her everyday you love her
As a mom who was just like this as a teen. The one thing I actually needed was someone to just listen to me. I was disciplined properly, I was on medication. My parents were my parents. I needed an outsider to listen to me. Try therapy. I felt like my parents didn’t understand me, no one liked me. I had no freedom to be myself and find out who I was. That resulted in me leaving after graduation and abusing drug and alcohol, getting arrested, looking for acceptance in the wrong places with the wrong people.
Take the door of her bedroom and just provide her with the basics…food, clothes
Yeah no one would like how I would handle that situation lmao.
Make sure you’re spending time with her doing something she likes too and not just paying attention to her for bad stuff. Try and get her to open up when there is no tension in the air.
Get yourself some support, talk to counselor at school. And introduce yourself to ALL of her friends parents, exchange contact info with them. And call them looking for her- it really helps cut down on the places she can go! And the other parents will know the TRUTH. Call the police when/ if she doesn’t come home when she’s expected, KEEP MAKING REPORTS EVERY time!!
She’ll have consequences from skipping classes! After missing so many days school will get the courts involved. Then, you’re guaranteed some help sorting her out…
Okay listen… And I know as a parent you don’t want to hear this… But the harder you are on her the harder she will be on you. You need to compromise. Sit down, talk to her, wipe the slate clean, she’s more likely to open up about whats causing this if she feels like you’re trying to understand (instead of feeling like you’re trying to interrogate or punish her more). Trust and respect is a two way street, yes you are the adult, but she is also an adult in the making. Fix your bond now before its too late.
Keep calm…don’t let her know she gets to you AND ALWAYS!ALWAYS MAKE HER TOTALLY ACCOUNTABLE FOR HER BEHAVIOR AND CHOICES. Tough love works mama!
Do not even let her have friends over!! You need to get her into a therapist. This way she can tell her problems to someone and hearing solutions, while someone telling her how to change her behavior that is not her parents actually helps. You also need to stay completely consistent in discipline. Allowing her to still have friends over is making her think l, well I can do whatever I want because my friends can still come hang out at my house.
My mother made me go to a meeting for JobCorps… and I DID NOT want to go there!! Try that.
Make get a workers permit and get her self a job pay rent food ex act grown get treated like your grown
Spend time with her. Take a weekend trip and have fun together. She is seeking attention but sadly she is getting it the wrong way.
I would try to spend quality time alone with her.
Therapy. Underkying issues
Reward good behaviors
You didn’t mention what her childhood was like before she turned 14, how many siblings does she have is her Dad in the picture. Nobody should be giving you advice till they know more about your daughter and her up bringing till now. Are you only there when it’s time to correct her. She also is going through puberty, try counseling. The counselor starts back as far as she can remember of her life…