How to potty train a girl?

My 4, almost five-year-old daughter has stopped using the toilet and won’t tell me or anyone when she needs to do a wee. She used to always tell me when she needed the toilet and was using it fine on her own with accidents every now and then but has recently stopped going altogether and has started to pee her pants every time she needs to go. It happens 3 or 4 times a day, she will be just sitting on the lounge or standing in the kitchen or playing with her toys, and she just wee’s herself. I have told her and explained time and time and time again that you don’t wee in your pants, you wee on the toilet, and to tell me when she needs to go. When I ask her why she isn’t doing wee’s on the toilet anymore, she just looks at me with a confused look on her face as if she doesn’t know what she’s done. This is also happening at school, she is going through 3-4 pairs of pants a day at school, and none of the other kids have this problem. I’m so frustrated and don’t know what to do. I’m at my wits end and am so sick of repeating myself and getting nowhere and it’s really embarrassing.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to potty train a girl?

Maybe try rewarding her for using the potty with her fav candy or stickers

I would talk to her doctor. That can be a symptom of a uti


Has she had a trauma that could have caused regression?


She could be not wanting to interrupt play


I bought mini m&ms for my twins. Seems to be working. But my daughter needs to be reminded.

I would seek a doctors opinion, my cousin had similar problems and ended up having type one diabetes. Hope that isn’t the case. Good luck


When I potty trained my daughter I went straight from a diaper to underwear she messed in her underwear once n never did it again I like to think I was super blessed. Have u tried kinda making a game out of it and rewarding her some how

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I gave my daughter a plastic bag and wash cloth. After she had to clean her own mess a few times, she went right back to using the potty.


Talk with a doctor. Could be a number of things, couldn’t hurt to have her tested for type one diabetes. Bladder issues was one of my biggest signs as a child.


Maybe just having her checked by her doctor to make sure everything’s okay with her and don’t be embarrassed I know it’s hard but children do things that we can’t help/control. Sounds like you’re doing a good job Mom!

Also maybe calling it pee instead of wee’s…?


Start by making sure theres no infection but are you pregnant by chance? Or is there any chance u may be bc my daughter was almost 5 and started the same thing right b4 we found out we was

Has she lost any weight at all or been sick? If so please ask for a test for diabetes.


Ask her doctor to do a urinalysis and glucose test.


Let her go in the bathroom with Mom, with Dad if you have a boy. And just chat. After about 5 visits with Mom she will get the idea. And then trade places with her. Let her chat you up while she tinkles. I am 60 years old, Mom to 2 girls, 1 boy, potty training them was easy. My girls were trained by age 2, my son by age 3, but only because his determination to play while potty training exceeded his Father’s patience. My grandchildren are 15, 13, 12, and 2, three boys, one girl. The two year old is male and almost potty trained. Make it fun.

I’d bring her to a doctor. Kinda sounds like some trauma or maybe a medical condition.


She might be scared of the flushing or might have had an accident or something! She is 4 years old and may be able to tell you! I applauded and rewarded my daughter with a special treat! Like candy or toy or something that told her that she was about to earn a reward for just going! My daughter was sometimes too lazy to go to the bathroom and when she did that I would put her in baby clothes and have her walk around like that! She was not allowed to choose her clothes because she was still a baby!

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I just recently got my almost 5 yro girl to start completely being potty trained it was very hard with her she still has accidents every once in awhile but I kept telling her she couldn’t go to school or church or anything if she couldn’t get it together. That worked for her so find something she loves to do an explain to her that she can’t do it anymore if she can’t control it better there will be accidents it happens and that’s okay. I understand the stress but you will get through it.

Potty regression can be caused by big (or maybe even not so big) life changes. My 4yr old went through it when we moved states and she was pulled out if the daycare she had been in since 11months old. It can also be caused by children simply focusing on learning new skills so “old skills” are put on the back burner. A new sibling can cause potty regression. While it can be a sign of trauma or a medical condition, it’s can be one of a hundred other things as well. I just set a timer for every 30min and told her that we both needed to go potty. If she went, she was praised, if she didn’t go, no big deal. We’ll try again in 15min. Biggest things is to try not to get worked up or mad. They usually doesn’t even realize what’s happening or they’re just as upset.


Try this. It’s fun and effective. My daughter was fully trained by the time she was 2.5.

Definitely doing it for attention. Are you pregnant or maybe she feels like she doesn’t get enough attention at school or at home


She might have a UTI. I did the same thing when I was little cuz it hurt to pee and I was afraid to say anything to anyone


Has she had any recent trauma? Kids can revert if something happens to them mentally.


That happens when some scolds a child badly .So she is kind of traumtised ,scared to tell about it. Its either in school or either parent speaking that way. Also more importantly please avoid anger issue in front of her. It will go away but it will take time.just take her to the toilet when its her time by asking her in cheerful relaxed manner and most of all u have to control ur temper just the sake of her

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Try going back to basics. Reward every time she goes on the potty, minimal lectures when she wets her pants. Eventually lessen the rewards for every time, but ALWAYS praise her, then make slightly bigger rewards when she makes the whole day, whole week, etc.

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100% take her to a doctor and if nothing is physically wrong I’d be taking her to a therapist or something just incase because Something could definitely be wrong. I honestly doubt it’s something you’re doing.


Take ger ti the pediatrician. This is possible symptoms of urinary tract infection or diabetes or even constipation. Can also be anemotional response to trauma.


Can be stress also my best friends daughter she started to have accidents on her self and found out she was super stressed out.


Take her to the Dr. There maybe a problem you don’t know about


My daughter started wetting herself in school and at home in her bed when she was around 7. She finally told us that she was being bullied by a boy at school. Once we took care of that the problem went away. She also had issues with UTIs when she was little. This also can cause it but her urine might have a very strong old smell to it if she has a bad infection.

Have you heard of PANDAS? It often times comes after a child gets strep… and can sometimes causes weird sudden ticks, like wetting their pants

Does she have distractions? I know that with some people if they are doing one thing (such as playing, eating, helping out, etc) they will either hold it until they can’t anymore and just let it go where they are or they will just do it on themselves right then and there and continue doing what they were. You may need to make a routine of taking her every 10-15 mins to the bathroom until she goes. Constantly remind her to use the bathroom as well. You may even advise her that if she can’t then you will take toys away until she can be a big girl.

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You might want to talk to her doctor. Could be a kidney problem. Might not be something she can help.

Have you talked to her pediatrician?

Tasha Sharman
Interesting read

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After ruling out any medical issues (UTI, etc) you might try chiropractic care. When my middle son starts having accidents, mostly at night, getting him adjusted puts a stop to it. His brain and bladder are not “talking” properly, spinal misalignment, once that’s fixed we are good. It can take several visits or just one, depends on the kid. It would be worth looking into.

Kayla Cee interesting info for girls!

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Please be patient with the child and maybe take her to a doctor.Some special needs children don’t show signs straight after birth,maybe a bit later.I hope that it is something manageable or curable.

Please see a doctor about this!

I would talk to her doc about it and see if there is an underlying cause for it. Just be patient and don’t punish her or yell at her or anything for it.

Talk to the doctor. If children have issues with holding the bowel movements and become “backed up” it leads to incontinence issues. But it’s definitely something to work with her pediatrician and maybe urologist about. Good luck

It could also be sensory, if she’s no longer feeling the sensation that she needs to use it. Many children who have sensory issues have this as one of them. If she is verbal enough to confirm this is what’s going on try taking all milk out of her diet and see if she can feel it again. If that is the case she probably has a sensitivity to Casein, the milk protein, and may have other food sensitivities (not allergies). You may want to take her to a holistic medical doctor to get an IgG (immunoglobulin G) test and food challenge. Allergies like hay fever, cat and dog are all immunoglobulin E reactions which is what most doctors will test for if you ask for an allergy test. You have to be very specific that it’s an IgG test and food challenge. Many of them won’t or won’t know how which is why I suggest a holistic MD. If you can’t get a clear answer from her it only takes three days for the body to get rid of all Casein so it I would remove all milk products containing casein or caseinate for about a week and when try retraining her during that time. This was the first thing that I thought of when you said she looked confused of course she’s confused, if she’s not feeling the sensation she can’t tell you she needs to go because she doesn’t know herself.

Meet with pediatrician.
To be trained already and then suddenly stop later on and revert completely backwards at age 4-5, something is going on. That’s not usual. Medically or mentally, something is happening. Four times a day is basically when she’s awake, all day long whenever she has to go, she’s not using the toilet. That’s more than an occasional accident which is understandable. I’d definitely want to see a doctor and find out what could be underneath it all.

Would definitely consult a urologist. Could definitely be something u don’t know. My granddaughter had some sort of problem around that age and it was take care of with simple procedure.