Please no judging or bashing. My son is 4 almost 5 and I just found out I’m pregnant again lately he has been acting up horribly he is usually very well behaved I’m sure he knows something is going on and we have had alot of changes lately like moving, I had a miscarriage two months ago so I was back and forth to appointments now that I’m pregnant again I’ve had alot of appointment so my doctor can keep a close eye on me, so I understand its alot but I’m at my wits end I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working any suggestions? I feel like I’m failing he has never been like this. I’ve been making sure I spend extra quality time with him just the two of us and I’ve been trying to be understanding but I need to get it under control before I get further along or the baby gets here.
What I did when I was pregnant with my youngest I would involve my oldest in different things that had to do with the new baby coming like getting things set up with toys, bottles, blankets etc… I also had gustasinal diabetes and I had him help me remember when it was time for me to test my blood sugar… I never had a problem with him acting up… I would try that and get them involved and talk to them about being a big brother or big sister…
Oh my goodness sounds just like my 4 gonna be 5 year old and I am hoping its just a phase and that it passes soon!!! Just keep trying to be as consistant as possible with discipline… Time outs, taking away electronic time/toys we have found 1,2,3 completely ineffective and started counting down from 5 seems to be more successful, turns it into a race-ish to stop/start doing what hes been asked/told to do/not do.
There is a book called “a house inside my mummy” I have to my son. I also bought him a toy bath and baby doll to wash as I washed his brother eventually helping me to wash his brother. Involve him as much as you can. Explain you hope he will teach the baby lots in his very special role as big brother.
That sounds like my three-year-old right now, she’s been terrible this entire pregnancy but it seems like this week has been the worst out of all of them. I don’t know if they know or what, but I’m 38 weeks so I wonder if that has something to do with it. I haven’t found any solutions so I’m also hoping that it goes away
Have a date day with him. Make a whole day just dedicated to you and him spending time together.
Just do ur best to involve him with ur appointments & ur pregnancy… but yes… he totally knows something is up & if u involve him he will know exactly what’s going on & will be more comfortable about it & possibly chill out & get excited
My oldest is 5 and has done this with both my pregnancies I just tell my self to do the best I can to involve him and make him feel special. He has been beyond excited for both of my pregnancies but for some reason he acts out extremely bad. If you have someone to give you a break every now and again to cool off and regain your self, do it.
This is normal. One, because of the age, and two, because you are expecting. When baby arrives, give it a little time. Adjustment is hard at this age. It will get better.
Could your hubby/his dad spend some special quality time with him
Do a ‘guys day’ outting. Fishing. Arcade. Movies…
You could stress the point that “We’re having a baby” instead of just saying that you are having a baby. It just helps a child feel included in the event before it happens thus helping with the transition. Just my opinion because that’s what I did.
Sometimes a lot of exhausting physical activity can help. He can channel anger/frustration/fear/uncertainty into energy. Playground, pool, running, kids exercise class or DVD. Sometimes hospitals have classes for siblings-to-be that can help. Also his moving around releases endorphins to help his mood & he’ll sleep better which also helps. Also, when kids are in a big learning period, they’re off kilter and cranky. Show him he has achieved mastery & control over so much & build his confidence (he can dress himself, feed himself, use the potty, run, spin, set the table or pick up his room or whatever tasks & abilities he is good at). I’m sorry momma! It’s hard on him & harder on you. Deep breaths, one wine spritzer, a spa day and a good friend can help you cope.
This is seriously a thing at that age. They are so freaking testy! Just make sure the rules are the rules with very little flexibility, or it’ll be worse. It does get better! Lots of physical activity helps.
I do home child care for the under 5 group. First, you’ve had a lot of changes. When my older 2 children (teens now) were about 5 and 6, we moved. They started acting out so much! Thankfully, I was seeing a therapist at the time and talked with her about it. She explained that we as adults get rituals when changes happen: funerals for death, packing for weeks and unpacking when we move, etc. Kids don’t get that a lot of times. They wake up in their old bedroom and before they know it, they’re going to sleep in their new one. To us, it’s exciting. To them, the ground below them is shifting. Such wise advice! She recommended some kind of ritual to commemorate the event with them. Thankfully, the home we moved from wasn’t rented out yet, so we went by together and took some mulch from the old flower bed and put it in the new flowerbed. We talked about how great the old house had been and the benefits of the new house. Their behavior changed overnight. 
So, your son has the move to deal with. Also, even if he didn’t know about the miscarriage, I’m sure you were affected and kids feel that, no matter how hard we try to shield them. Lots of changes for a little one.
That being said, even without a lot of changes, even the best behaved little ones still “check in” from time to time. They want to know that you’re paying attention and that the same rules still apply. Either way, consistency with rules, discipline and schedules is key. Their world is uncertain and they need to know that the adults in their life are stable. Show him that everything is fine by reinforcing rules and boundaries, lots of love and some special efforts in the coming days as more changes happen. Our 3rd child is almost 1.5 years old. Our first 2 are 15 and 14 years old. I still make efforts to show my older ones that they are important because little ones take a lot of attention and energy away from the older ones at times. It’s a balancing act. Good luck and congrats!