My partner and I have been trying to rebuild trust for several months now. Both want this relationship to work but don’t know how to rebuild the trust. We have been very open about communication since and at times feel it’s getting better, but then the bad days where the doubt shows up seem to bring us right back to the beginning. We want to work through this but are having a tough time where both of us have been severely hurt in the past. We do know that there hasn’t been cheating on either side. Where the truth did come out on its own is a big part of why we are trying to work through this still makes it hard. Is there hope?
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Go to couples counciling xxx
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Honestly it takes a long time and the trust will most likely never come back fully you just gotta take your time and keep doing everything you can if you want it to work.
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Here’s the thing if your gonna rebuild and be together you both need to basically forget the past hurts. I know you never forget but you can’t bring it up, throw it in their face or dwell on it. Basically forgotten, and then you have to choose to trust again. And that means fully not just kinda. If you can’t it won’t work. Make a promise to yourself and him that if you feel like you need to revisit this place of distrust this isn’t going to work. Hang in there and hope it works out.
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It’s going to take along time to re build- I’m in the same situation with my partner- to many years of lies and now we are trying to fix it. That’s a lot of pain to heal from. Go easy on each other and be there for each other especially on the hard days- talk about your feelings and reassure each other that the feelings you have at that moment doesn’t mean you don’t love them but it still hurts. My partner and I have been trying to do that- well I do but my partner has a really really hard time letting his feelings out. We plan to go to couples counseling because we know we need the help. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you both find peace with each other 
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Why was there ever any doubt in the first place? What happened for there to be doubt?
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Lots and lots of therapy. Together. Separately. Don’t do it without the help of a licensed professional.
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It’s hard. Just let each other know on the bad days that it is in fact a bad day. Talk yourself down. I am finally married to someone I trust wholeheartedly and he trust me. We both were in terrible relationships in the past and had trust issues. Even now 5 years later we still have moments. He proved himself time and time again. It doesn’t bother me when he speaks to woman he knows online, he hangs out with 2 of my female best friends. I trust him. You just have to communicate on the bad days when the past creeps in. Or when something triggers you
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Jolene Jolene Jolene JOLENE I’m begging of you please give us some context…
Some people are just not trustworthy.
U can’t rebuild a (trust) 
It’s been three years and with alot of reassurance and communicating were getting there
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Communication and time. Going to be good and bad days. Doesnt mean othet is doing wrong. Cant keep each other on a dog leash either. All relationships take team work.
Never !it will always be on your mind#truth
Therapy helps. Both couples therapy and individual therapy. Good communication skills, mutual accountability and a safe place to talk, feel and process both together and independently of each other will help immeasurably.
Definitely.
Building trust takes a lot of Time, Patience, and Understanding❣
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There is certainly hope. My husband and I had to rebuild completely this year. Just remember in those moments when it all comes back and out, even through the anger, take a breath, walk away, and center yourself on the fact that that is not now.
It’s hard as hell, but it’s possible.
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It’s sounds like you both need to heal from things that have happened to you in the past before you can be in a relationship
I’m going through this myself in my relationship, I don’t know what you believe, but we have been going to church and we do plans together on the Bible app. There is one for rooting out relationship killers which is fantastic, love is the answer, and reset your mind: overhauling toxic thoughts just to name a few and it’s been really helping. Just a suggestion 
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Yes!! The book "Love & Respect " is very helpful but the key is true forgiveness. Prayers to you both!
If there was no cheating on either side then how was the trust lost? I’m confused. 
The last sentence is also confusing referring to where the truth comes out on its own. It’s hard to offer advice if things are cryptic and extremely vague.
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Absolutely there’s hope. As long as you both continue to communicate and focus on where you are and not where you were, and focus on where you want to go and put the effort in, everything will work out. It only fails when someone stops wanting it to work and stops putting effort in. Couples counseling might would be a great thing to try as well 
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Reach Out to GOD!!! Prayer, reading the Bible and just putting God in the center of your relationship will help Over come ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!!! Never Give Up on LOVE!!!
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There is. If you’re meant to be it’ll happen but you both have to try! It takes a lot of work, crying, and forgiving some days will still be bad it happens. But truly if you actually love eachother you will get through it
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No one will know… its your relationship. No one elses to know
You cannot rebuild the trust
When it’s gone
So does the love
Take this run very old lady. 64 in fact period to build trust or to rebuild trust there has to be total transparency. No locked phones. No phone calls you taking walk off from the other person. Each person knows where the other one is. That goes for both people. No hidden agendas, no long lunches at work. Each knows for the other is and you can count on it. Once this goes on for a while, the trust will rebuild. If you really want to work on it, it will happen. If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing
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You have to completely let go of the past! You cannot bring it up ever again. EVER! And you cannot THINK about it.
My advice make it a game, who ever brings up the big bad thing pays for the next trip to Fiji, straight out, of their pay check. And who ever brings it up again pays for the next trip after. That way there’s a big consequence and you will start associating it with something good if you go in the trip.
Good luck, cuz after someone done wrong, u will always be wondering, turning ur head, at ease, having thoughts always no matter what!!! Once trust is broken, it will never be the same
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Trust is HARD after its lost…honesty is the key, and if one cant or wont own their part, it will fail…keep the lines of communication open and love like you never have before…hard?..yep…I talked with a friend and the one question I asked is “ can you imagine your partner not ever walking through the door again. “ she told me when things got bad, she would think of that…they are still together…
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Therapy.
Work through your own issues.
This should be “easy!”
You love the person. Then trust. This is not the person who hurt you? Don’t let doubt and accusations hurt the relationship you want.
Let go of the past. Thats why its in the past. But. Hurt people hurt people. Don’t let the past hurt a real thing you think you have.
Hope is there ask God and yourself whats the positives that we could acheive if we work at a mutual goal.build each other back up.arent you both worth it to each other to try? ESPECIALLY if theres any mutual childern involved.
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You have to forgive each other and let it go! Start with new ground rules that each of you agree with!
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It’s normal to have those days. They pass. Nothing stays the same
Depends on who what when and why, are you the one comprising or forgiving him or is it other way around, , only you can decide if its worth it
You each need to be willing to hear each other out when these fears come up without getting upset at each other. You both have a right to your feelings. You each have to own what you not only did, but how it makes the other feel. You have to be willing to move forward and grow from what happened and remember whatever you did in the beginning to win them to continue to do those things.
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If you keep bringing up the past, it will never work. You both need to move forward and don’t look back. The past is behind you. Even if you’re thinking about it, don’t bring it up. Try to think of where you guys have come from and think of the good in the relationship. Trust me. It will end you guys if you keep cycling back to where you have already gotten past. All you need to focus on is your present and future. I know it’s hard to get over something that has hurt you, but if you’re really wanting to be with this person you need to forgive, forget, and let go of it.
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No stop whinning and carry on
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I felt this deeply!! As I’m going thru the same thing n honestly I just keep it in the day I take it day by day now baby steps is still progression dont give up just yet !!
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There is always hope just keep communicating 
Josephina Linda
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There is always hope
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If you are having trust issues I would reccomend therapy or counseling to help you work through the issues and give you some resources to keep managing on your own. It can be difficult to work through things like this on your own!
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There’s a great book called forgiving what you can’t forget by lysa terkeurst. Mentions God alot but overall a great read. Helped me in learning to forgive and trust again and realizing I was forgiving and trusting for myself, not my partner.
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Girl from experience you both should see individual therapist. We worked on ourselves first and the issues we had within ourselves and then also focused on the issues within the relationship. You need to understand each other’s love language as weird as that sounds. And always speak with a no yelling rule. You need to speak calmly if your upset end the convo and give each other space then reconvene and speak again but do not go to bed with the issue unsolved. Hope this help I feel you girl 
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It’s just nice to hear that you are both willing to try!! That’s a step in the right direction.
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There’s hope if you’re both willing to work on the relationship
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Doubt is normal but trust will come in time it’s one hard thing to get back once you know it’s been broken it can take year and you will still have bad days
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To be honest
Communicate the dislikes
When I got with my man sometimes he would open his phone and tilt it away and I did not fuck with that so i mentioned it
And it was something as simple as the glare on his phone
He would quickly shut off his phone and I would say, that was a little sus are you hiding anything?
And this sweet man will say no I was just getting ready to come cuddle
He understands I have trust issues so if something arises mention it when it arises or say " I noticed you did this and it really stresses me out because…"
You each need to work on yourselves first THEN focus on the relationship. A healthier self is 
!!
Seek out a relationship counselor
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Seek out a gottman therapist
That’s why we need therapy
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I believe as long as you’re willing to work together there’s always hope. Effective communication is a huge part of everything and sometimes even though you say one thing your partner may hear it differently. Take the time to find out how each of you communicate. It might be more helpful. Also couples counseling is a great tool!
My husband and I went through something similar close to three years ago. Honestly even separated for about 6 months. But we’re each other’s person as friends at a base line. If that person makes YOU better, friend partner family doesn’t matter. If you’re better with them it’s worth working through no matter how hard it is. Everyone has faults. You just have to pick your battles and always remember that you both want it.
If it is meant to be it will be. Trust isn’t just given it is earned. I agree. Maybe some counseling.
If you love each other then ther is always hope. It takes time to heal, just don’t give up even when it feels hard.
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Maybe see a counselor that might be able to suggest some trust building activities or something like that.
Sorry. It just takes time
I’d suggest counseling. Me and hubby had trust issues in the past and were working on them. It’s called communication, compromise, counselling, change of behaviours and boundaries.
Trust can be rebuilt but your in for alot of work. For me it’s totally worth the struggle. It gets better and better 