How to start potty training?

Need some advice please. My almost 4 year old refuses to be potty trained. I have tried everything from cheerios, stickers,candy,toys, leaving him in a dirty diaper for 3 hours. I stayed home with him for a week and did the whole no clothes thing. All I ended up doing all week was scrubbing poop off everything and washing sheets cuz he didn’t even try to go in the toilet. Im feeling like a failure as a mom. Anyone have any other ideas.


Make him clean it with his hands, take a toy each time he doesn’t go in the toilet.


Does he like to go to places like Mc Donald’s? Told mine years ago only big potty trained kids could go

Have you spoke to your pediatrician? Ours does muscle testing after they have reached 3 and still aren’t potty trained. She said it’s not that they don’t want to or are trying to be defiant but that they don’t have the best control of those muscles and can’t necessarily feel when they need to go


Following. My son is 4 and 1/2 and we are having issues poddy training too.

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Following. My son is gonna be 4 in August and refuses to try n go in the potty

He’s probably not ready ! Mine didn’t officially get potty trained until she was 5. Her sister is 4 and is potty trained during the day but still needs a pull up at night. Pushing it will make him regress.
Make it his idea. Let him watch all the potty videos too. Those get my kids super excited


He could have a fear of the toilet my oldest was scared of toilets and took me forever to potty train him

My son was excited about going to school and that was the only thing that helped us was we told him he couldn’t go to school unless he was potty trained

My nephew was the same way he was only ready at 5 just in time to start kindergarten seems he had it timed it was only gonna be his way no one was going to make him he did it on his own…better later than never. Be patient good luck.

I don’t know any normally adjusted 20 year olds that aren’t potty trained. Maybe just let him follow you and have him sit on potty chair with or without pants on while you go. If his body is ready he will learn eventually. Do not punish a child for something they may not be able to control. I pushed my son to potty train and he was almost five I let my daughters do it on their own timeline without pushing and they were both self trained by 2 and 3. Relax and let it happen. If you have ruled out medical issues then it will happen don’t let yourself stress or get angry that can make it take longer because your child will find going to the bathroom negative.


Made my son clean it up i of course did it properly after him but i made him rinse his underwear and clean up anything he messed on


My son was 4 and a half and we took him to walmart and let him pick out his big boy underwear himself. He was so excited he never wanted to wear pull ups. We told him “now you know to wear this that means you have to go in the potty EVERY TIME.” He said yes and besides one accident in pre k because the waited too long to let him go, he never had an accident

Just try taken him outside an tellem pee on a tree…
I live in middle of no where so its was esdy for me say that but it worked!!! 15 months an was completely potty trained!!! Just told him try pee on tree an bam we was doin it!!!

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My oldest son was the same, he ended up starting school 3 month later than he should have because of it. If there are no underlying issues, he will go on the potty when he’s ready. My boy eventually just started when he was ready, and it was smooth sailing after that

Buy him a urinal. Worked for my grand babies.

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Take him to his doctor first and foremost and some kids just aren’t ready. All kids are different. But I’d confirm with a Dr that there isn’t an underlying condition. I would not recommend scolding him like someone has mentioned!

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Put him on the potty once an hour .Go through the motions as if he did go potty and do it around the clock until he eventually tells you before the hour is up he has to go and keep this up until it’s the norm.Lots of praise just for trying and bigger praise for when he actually goes potty but keep encouraging him even if he has accidents in between.

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Did you try coloring your toilet water. Also are you using a training potty or the regular toilet?

I was in the same situation a few months ago nothing was working. I bought a potty watch on Amazon set it for every 45 min to an hour and a potty princess potty training thing and less than 3 days later boom she was in big girl underwear using the potty washing her hands and wiping herself!!!

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… U let him sit in a dirty diaper for 3 HOURS?!
My daughter didn’t want to potty train and we ended up letting her pick out her big girl underwear and gave her quarters every time she went in the toilet. :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:


Maybe get a potty book or movie for him to watch as well.

My daughter is 3 and turning 4 in September. She just finished her first year of preschool. She would tell her teacher she wants to go potty and stuff but when she gets home it’s nope. I just cannot get her to go. I’ve tried everything too. She’s willing to sit on the potty but won’t go. Then a minute later after she gets up, she’ll pee on the floor. She gets the concept because other kids in her class use the potty (not all of them) and she goes when she wants to during class. Just never at home. I’m dumbfounded.

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I think the punitive comments are atrocious.
Make them clean it up? Did you put their nose in it and hit them with a rolled up newspaper? That’s training, right?


My son didn’t fully potty train until he was 4 1/2. My daughter was about the same age. My son also has ADHD and my daughter is autistic. Those were contributing factors in their delay. Honestly, they won’t potty train until they are ready. Just keep trying, punishment when they have an accident, and reward when they go. They’ll get it eventually.

Time to whoop his ass. every time he pees or poops anywhere, warn him first what you’re going to do to him if he doesn’t use his potty.

My son was fully potty trained before he turned 2, we started at 15 months, no pull ups, no diapers, no safety net, he had pee down completely with no accidents by 18 months but poop took an extra 3-4 months. What finally worked was making him dump it from the underwear into the toilet, and scrub out the underwear in the sink, then stand with me in the bathroom while I finished it up very slowly. Once he realized he had to clean up the mess every time and miss out on playing all that time he started going on the potty. Was fully potty trained including overnights about 2 months before he turned 2. I couldn’t imagine still dealing with that at 4 though. By that age they are plenty old enough to know better and should be disciplined for not using the potty as long as there is no underlying medical reason…


put him in a cloth diaper, make him wash out the diaper in a pail

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Punishment is it the answer.

We found something that was really important to our child… something that only a “Big” person could do… and told him that he could no longer have that or do that because that was for big boys and big boys did not poop in their pants… I also made him help me clean up the mess… I have been told if they can peddle a tricycle they can be trained… there is something is in the brain that makes the connections that makes it possible for them make the connection on potty training. good luck… keep up the fight. he will eventually get it.

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Dirty pamper for 3 hours :open_mouth:
Idk why that seemed like an ok idea…

By this age, it would seem your child should be seen by a DR.


Give hum a small reward every time he does good. I kept little trinkets for my children or a cone of ice cream! Worked great!

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If you make a child clean their poopy underwear in the toilet, you should be punched in the face!


Krystal Moses lol i am not alone …almost 5 year old ! Her brother was trained at 4. She will go to the toilet when i make her but still poops her underwear …shes lazy :unamused:

I make mine try to potty every 30 min

They have these sticker targets you can put in your toilet. Make it a game. See if he can pee/poop on the target get a quarter. Or with my nephew he had to earn so many quarters and then we would take him up to Walmart to do the claw machine…He didnt care if he won it he just wanted to play the claw game lol.

We let our nearly 3 1/2 yr old son pick out potty prizes, cheaper ones for just peeing in the potty & more expensive ones for pooping. His Grandpa also paid him $1.00 for pooping in the toilet. We used like Matchbox cars, extra McD or Sonic toys etc for the peeing toys & toys that cost $3-5 for the pooping prizes. Once he was using only the toilet for 2 weeks, he got a big potty prize. He saw all these prizes every day in the bathroom but wasn’t able to touch them & he chose all of them too.

I used putting child on potty every 10 minutes. Left her on 2 minutes then took her off 10 minutes then back on.
It worked. She was potty trained at 9 months.

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Sticker chart, go shopping with him to wear big kid underwear, get some organic fruit snacks and take them out of the package and put them in a small closed container in the fridge and give him one every single time he goes potty. Make it a huge deal how yucky it is when he has an accident. Praise when he tries.

Also, download a potty training app reminder and make sure you have them try every 20-30 mins.

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My son took forever too, he was 4 when he finally did. One day he just decided to go.

I have trained hundreds of kids. No punishment. You need to train by the clock. The clock says its potty time. The clock says you have to sit for 2 mins before getting up. The clock says… It needs to be part of the routine like going to bed or eating. Put an egg timer on the back of the toilet. Set for 2 mins every time they sit. Give privacy! Ask do you want privacy or want me to stay? The schedule should be before and after transition times.
After waking up
After breakfast
After playtime
After lunch
After nap
After snack
After playtime
After dinner
Before bed
If you schedule after activities then they don’t have to interrupt fun stuff for the bathroom. It will work if you enforce that the time to go is not negotiable. The clock tells you so no anger towards parents.


My pediatrician said don’t use pull ups! Put regular underwear on underneath the diapers so they can feel when they go. It worked like a charm for my kids.


When my youngest daughter was having potty training trouble, I used her favorite toys and characters to get her more attentive and interested in potty training. I had to pretend to be the toy and encourage her to use the bathroom. I also had the toys singing about using the potty so it would be fun but still get the message across as well as have the toys remind her about using it. It seems silly and you can’t do that all the time but it definitely worked for her.

My oldest had no interest in going potty until he couldn’t have his “big boy” (Spider-Man, toy story, etc) underwear unless he went potty. He stopped immediately. It was just weird.

Try a skittle or m&m and tell him to aim… His pee will tkae the color off the candy and make it change colors

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Dont keep them long in a dirty diaper…they will begin to think its natural… show them the difference between dirty and clean. .u could sot with them in toilet until they feel like doing it with you while ur in. U have to try it. And make them relaxed.dont panic always. Also show them ur not happy in a polite way when they poop anywhere other than the toilet. Sometimes making them clean thier mess will teach them a goodesson as well.!


Nikki might have some tips and tricks? Just don’t pay attention to the asshole comments :woman_facepalming:t2:

Hold him on the toliet till he goes when he’s done give him a price of candy and send him on his way

Okay, punishment is NOT the answer. I believe in disciplining children, but kids can’t always help doing some of the things they do. If you punish your child over not being able to use the potty, they will resent you and may be afraid to tell you of any accidents or mistakes they make in the future.

Rewarding children for doing things they’re supposed to do is a bit tricky. Sometimes they think they’re owed something just for doing something they should be doing in the first place. It does work for some people, but it isn’t always a definite answer.

My daughter was fully potty trained before she turned 2. I’d take her into the bathroom with me every time I had to go and would sit her down on her own little toilet. (I’d also take her in there and pretend I was going even when I didn’t need to). We would sit there and talk for a few minutes if nothing came out right away and she learned very quickly that once she used the toilet, she would be praised (with my words) and we could go play or do whatever else she felt like doing.

Make your kids excited to learn.

And please… PLEASE do NOT leave your kiddos in dirty diapers/undergarments!!! Their skin is sensitive and their bodies are prone to rashes and infection! That is considered neglect, do not do things like that under any circumstances EVER.


My son was 4 before he wanted anything to do do with going on the potty! I tried everything. I finally tried the potty chart AGAIN since he didnt want anything to do with that either before when i tried. and all of a sudden he was so excited to do that so that FINALLY got him potty trained.

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Try a bed wetting alarm this thing will definitely help with potty training. I tried this and it really worked. There are others you can get the previous post was just an example.

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My son was his age and wasn’t using the potty either (mainly for bowel movements) his pediatrician suggested a behavioral counselor type situation. They talked about going potty and he made my son very excited to start going #2 and it worked. Maybe just having an outside source to get him excited about the whole process. He also help me when I felt like a failure.

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My mom in the old days always used a big empty coffee can for the boys. They loved the sound of pee hitting the metal.


Sit in the restroom with him, some kids are just bored and see potty training as work, make it fun, we read books till mine went

my daughter was 4 when she finally learned.i did the every 40min put her on the potty.or had her try when i did.she had a sm potty and i did keep it in her room just in case.finally she got it.plz b patient yr child will do it.

I’m old school. NO pullups . 1st couple times,verbal reprimand and warning of punishment. Then, follow thru and bust his butt. He’s 4 yrs old,he knows what he is doing.


Had to go to straight underwear. Takes longer than a week for them to learn.

Both my boys were like that too same age. They took forever to learn.

Tease him and tell him he can’t be a big boy or go anywhere with you until he starts doing his duties in the toilet because big boys don’t poop everywhere and then try taking him out more and he’ll see that other kids don’t do it I’m a firm believer in tough love and it works for me I tease my kids if they don’t do something and then they eventually do it


Be patient. Don’t push it. I know it’s hard not to. You get people down your throat saying why aren’t they potty trained? Mine was potty trained at 10 months old. Good for them. Not every child is the same. He/she will get it when they are ready. No where on a job application does it ask when was you potty trained? Don’t be so hard on yourself, Momma! It will happen. My son (whom is now 18) was potty trained at 3. My daughter (is now 4 years old) isn’t fully potty trained but very close. She always poops in the potty. She also pees in the potty. She has accidents sometimes. She still wears a pull up at night for accidents. She just started the peeing in the potty about 2 weeks ago. The pooping has been going on for 6 months. I didn’t push her. She was just ready to do it on her own.


My sister got my nephew a watch that’s a potty watch timer that goes off every 30 minutes. My nephew was potty trained in 3 days after that! He’s 2. The watch really helped him.


Did you take him to sit on the potty ever 15 to 30 mins all that week?

Not just no diapers, try to put him on the toilet. At first my son wouldn’t try either but I started to just take him to the bathroom at least 2x an hour. When I started doing that combined with no diapers, he was potty trained in a weekend.

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My doctor says they will go on their own when they’re ready. My last son was almost ready for kindergarten before he was trained. The doctor said not to rush it.


My 4 year old wont either his pediatrician is sending him to potty therapy. Talk to pediatrician

Make him clean up the poo.


You’re not a failure. My son was about four. Just forget about it for a couple of weeks and maybe he’ll be more ready.

I can understand washing sheets but cleaning poop off everything I did get that part. I thought you was staying home for training him. You should have been with him taking him to the potty every 15 to 20 minutes when he is awake… does he go to the potty with his dad to know what he is supposed to do … does he go to the potty with you

I know every child is different and every one trains that child differently but this takes patience… and consistency
Same thing over and over again not straying from the patterns you have set


What clues has he given that he is physically and mentally ready to potty train? He may not be ready.

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You let him sit in filth for 3 hours ?! Do you realize the harm you are causing?! Some people just shouldnt have children :face_with_raised_eyebrow:


You take him to the bathroom every hour. If he goes he gets to ring a bell. Then he gets a piece of candy only if he went to the bathroom and actually used it. Good luck stay calm it will go better.

Maybe take his favorite stuffy or toy car, in a different voice from yours and say “I want to play with you but I can’t until you use the potty”. That worked the best with my youngest son. Put the potty in the living room so he can still watch his cartoons if he does watch them

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My son was potty trained by 2 then regressed because he has autism. He is now 4 and just recently has been staying dry thru the night and day in underwear…His pediatrician who is highly rated told me that every childs personality is different from another. Some are super easy and some super stubborn…they will do it when they are ready :blush: hang in there don’t shame him just encourage.

Don’t feel bad!! Boys are hard.

Not all boys are hard, some I know just went dry at night with slight help by one year old and more I know we’re almost five. It depends on many factors, are they themselves ready. Have they being going to the bathroom with others. Are they a highly strung child. Are you taking them to the toilet every half hour regularly during training for a couple of weeks before deciding to postpone for another while. Good luck :shamrock::four_leaf_clover:

Being dry at night is a big sign of being ready.

Unless they pee at night

so for me i I always showered my kids and let them do the bath tub once Week. So when my son would randomly pee i I made notice of it. U know tell them next time aim for the drain that kinda stuff then slowly get them to do it on potty. My son learned erlie and my daughter took awhile. Depends on the kid

My son was difficult to potty train even though he acted like he was ready. So we decided to wait a while and try again, best thing we did. We put the underwear away and went to pull ups for a few weeks, then we tried again. We left the potty chair in the living room, put him in underwear all day or let him go naked if we were home. He only wore pull ups at night but when we realized he was dry in the morning we put him in underwear at bedtime. Eliminating the pull ups all together was the biggest part in him going on the potty, we’d let him have a drink, snack and his tablet while he was on the potty because he’d sit there for a long time, trying to get the hang of it. Make it fun and not stressful. He just may not be ready.

Omg leaving a child for 3 hours in a dirty nappy

Mine was ready at 3.5 yrs old and never had to clean poop off everywhere, thank goodness. Consistently taking them helps, talking to them about preschool & other children going and lots encouragement helps. Rewarding him when he finally does go may help some & letting him know that diapers are for babies & not for him cuz soon he will be going to school. Don’t give in, don’t give up!