How to stop resenting my mother in law

Since i became pregnant and had my daughter our relationship went down. We dont speak the same language but our relationship was good. Me and my partner always wanted kids, but I couldnt get pregnant for almost 4 years and when Covid started we moved back to his home country and all the crazyness started. Within 2 month I got pregnant and thats where my anxiety went through the roof because it looked like my mother in law took over my pregnancy and wants to take over my motherhood-buying things i dont want and i dont need- I hate cluter and my daughters room is still full of thing that Im not going to use, her coluegues donated 11 bags of baby clothes (most of them was in a trash bags from atics and basments where they stay for a very very long time). Her coments that now i dont need to buy clothes anymore and my partner saying thats how its done here led to not buying first outfit for my daughter, even thought my MIL bought some outfits because she wanted that baby would wear new clothes in the hospital. She needed to know about all my consultations, what food I cook, what I have in the fridge and so on. When my baby was born she was little weight so within a week we had to go to family doctor and weight her. My partner booked the appointment and because I was tired and all sore I fell a sleep, so my daughters first ever doctors appointment was WITHOUT HER MOTHER. My partner and his mum decided to go without me. (He said I looked like I was really suffering, so he didnt want to bother me). Later in the evening his mum wanted for us to go to a family dinner to her brothers house but my partner said no because I can beraly sit down (1week after giving birth with 4 stiches) so his mum invited them to have dinner in our house because if i get tired i just go to bed. The next day they both gave bath to my newborn without asking my permition. I know its his mum but my baby was just 1 week old and I want comfortable with people holding her and here it someone bathing her. Fast forward when my daughter was 1 and half month my MIL came to visit again, this time with her parents. I told them that baby is awake and they can see her, I wated for them for 1hour (MIL has apartment in my building so its just to go 2 floors up). When they finaly show up my baby was a sleep so my MIL ripped out pacifier from her mouth and start unswaddling my daughter “because she wanted to hold her”. And now fast forward to these days. My MIL came to visit and my baby is now almost 5 month. I had a bit of hard time because of 4 month sleep regresion so I am trying to keep up with her routine. My partners cousin came to town for holidays and she wanted to see our girl, she was told that her bed time (feeding to sleep) is at 8 (sometimes even earlier if she is getting too fussy). So we all was waiting for her to come and see her and it was geting late and baby geting fussy. So I quickly shoved my dinner as I wanted to put my daughter to bed and 8:02 the cousin showed up. My MIL decided to go from kichen to living room “to show the baby” and I said that she need to go to bed and my MIL said that “its just 2min” I felt like I just got spat im my face. My authority as a mother ment nothing. I felt so humiliated. The next day me and my partner almost broke of our 10 years relationship. I said I cant deal with all this anxiety and emotions. Am I right to be upset with his mother? My partner keep saying to let go the past but I cant do that because I remember all the tiny things she do and when I cant sleep at night I imagine all fake scenarios what would happen and I get so upset before my MIL even arives. She is coming next month for 2 weeks and I dont know how I will be affected mentaly. Maybe all this is postpartum depresion and I need to be medicated? I really need advice.