Let it be they are kids and all they will know is someone is there then gone !!
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Donāt lie to either of them be honest
I had my first child at 19 and was no where near ready for motherhood. He was adopted by my moms close highschool friend and her partner. Open adoption. That child is 11 now, and he knows who I am and considers the children Iām raising as his siblings.
Slightly different situation since he is the eldest, but long story short I gave them some space and saw/see them a few times a year, and then just very simply told all the kids they were siblings with different parents and theyāve all accepted it quite happily, they love to see him. The way Iāve explained it was just that (his moms) couldnāt have a baby and so I did for them, and it just means we all have more family than your average bear.
Itās a little weird at first, but itās become normal for us and Iām very grateful for them and their appearance in our lives. I wish you all the very best, know that you got this even if it feels strange for a while 
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I have no advice, Iām just here to say thank you for choosing life for the baby, and sending you big hugs!
I know this was a difficult decision, but it sounds like you have made the best decision for the baby and your family.
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Bigger question is how are you going to explain not bringing a baby home from the hospital .he knows / or going to know that there is a baby in your belly .
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I would try to be honest with your 3 year old as much as you can to his point of comprehension. Explain to the child that the other family canāt have a baby without help and that you wanted to help them. As the child grows so does the comprehension and the questions will come. As for the introduction I would simply talk to the adoption parents and work that out. Itās easier explaining later just the omitted details rather than lies and being open about it will make the entire situation easier for you, the family adopting, and both kids later. Best of luck
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Just be honest. Tell your child you had a baby but you gave him to another family. You donāt have to explain anything more than that.
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Discuss what would be comfortable for everyone involved and go from there. I think mainly you need to be as honest as possible, but consider his ageā¦and donāt make it a taboo topic if heās curious
Honestly Iāve gone through this - keep it as open as possible although I wouldnāt refer to the baby as his brother, until he is older to comprehend. Iād just make it known that you are carrying another personās baby to help make their family complete.
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So proud of you! Abortion is so cruel! It breaks my heart 
! Iām one of the ones who wanted a baby so much but after 5 miscarriages I couldnāt take the painful hurt 
! I finally was blessed with my precious son who is 41 years old now and my world! Still wish I could have given him a brother or sister so he wouldnāt have to do everything alone! But so thankful God blessed me with one! Was told he was a miracle! Donāt listen to strangers! Follow your heart and pray 
then do as you feel is right! Remember we all have opinions but we canāt make your decision as you are the one who has to live with it! But thank you for making the first step by keeping him and realizing his life will be better being raised by someone who really wanted him! Godās Blessings be with you always!
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Always tell the truth no matter who doesnāt agree. Lies will come out and that causes distrust and sometimes deep seated resentment.
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As a mother who has one natural born child, and one adopted one, never, ever lie to either one of your kids! Always tell the truth and be prepared to answer any questions they may have. I knew the birth mother. She was my best friends niece. My adopted son knew from the time he started school that he was adopted, and then it was no big deal. Throughout the years, he would occasionally ask questions, and Iād answer the best way I could. The birth mother told me about 10 years ago who the father was, but my son wasnāt interested in finding out at the time. To him, me and his adopted dad were the only parents he wanted or needed, so we left it at that. Two years ago he decided to find out more about his ancestryā¦.was he German, Irish, etc.? Thatās the only thing he was interested in finding out. But much to his surprise, and mine, it actually told him who his birth father was! And it was NOT who the mother said it was! I had to be the one to tell that mother that the son she gave birth to had a different father than the one she named! It was very awkward on my part, as well as hers! And embarrassing too! So the new father was given the information, and was thrilled to learn he had another son he knew nothing about. They have since met, my son and his birth father. But he still doesnāt want to meet his birth mother. He did give her the opportunity, but she declined because she didnāt want her two other sons to know about him. It was her loss, heās a wonderful man, has a wife and two children, boy and a girl. And a baby girl that lives in Heaven. Heās a firefighter, and also has his own business. I couldnāt be more proud of him! I guess you just need to know that no matter how well you think you know these people, things can change in an instant, and so many lives are affected by it! He also has a sister and two brothers who were thrilled to death to meet him, and a grandma too! Never lie to these children! It could come back and haunt you!
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Open adoption is not 100% legal. If the adopting parents want to they can cut tiesā¦ so please check out Saving our sisters, itās an organization to keep families together.
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Honestly is ALWAYS 100% the right answerā¦
Just came to say youāre awesome for choosing adoption.
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donāt lie. but if youāre going to tell your three year old the truth then you should have a conversation with the adoptive parents about the truth being told to the other child too.
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Iām a birth mom. I was parenting 3 kids wen I got pregnant with our 4th n decided on adoption. There was this amazing book my agency gave me. I wish I could remember the name ā¦ Iām gunna google it for u tho. My kids were 6,4, and a year n 3 days wen my birth son was born. Wen I found out I was pregnant I was around 5 months. We were in the living room watching cartoons one day n I turned tv off n told them I was pregnant again but we were going to give the baby to another mommy n daddy who really wanted a baby but couldnāt have their own. My daughter sat kinda quiet n said ok. Than my son (4) said 'can we turn tv back on now?" 
It affected my daughter the most. She didnāt like the idea. But is doing better since we see him few times a year. But one thing I didnāt know is this. The adoptive parents can cut off ALL communication any time they want. I signed a contract with the adoptive parents about visits n updates n a bunch of other things but itās not legally binding. Birth parents have rights in only 2 states. They can promise u anything but the min u sign TPR they can go back on all promises. Just be prepared for that. Iām 3 years in n still missing him every single day. Even with visits. But it was best for him. I just saw him a week ago n the morning after our visit the adoptive mom sent me a message saying he had so much fun n that he had to look at his adoption book right away n started naming all of us off n wen he got to me n my husband he said 'mommy Tara and daddy Ricky" I cried wen I read that. Cuz I wanted to have that exact title but was afraid to ask cuz I didnāt know how they would feel about it. But I guess they are perfectly ok with it n im soooooo happy. They make sure he knows my 3 kids are his brothers n sister n we are doing all we can to make sure they get a sibling bond. I pray u get adoptive parents just as amazing. Iām here any time if u need anything. Anything
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Start telling him now you will be surprised what kids understand be open n honestā¦
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No clue but nobody is ready for kids. Financially, emotionally, spiritually or physically. Just go with the flow, man.
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Just start telling uour 3 yr old now throughout your pregnancy that such and such cant have babies and they really really want to be a mommy and daddy but cant on their own so you are helping to give them a baby by using your belly. Tell him that it will be his baby brother but will live with a different mommy and daddy. Just be honest with him from the start, especially if you are planning to have a relationship with the child through its life.
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I hate to be the one to say this
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If your heart is set on an OPEN ADOPTION then poor or not make sure you go through a Lawyer to draw up papers on keeping the ADOPTION OPEN and stipulations on you & your 3yr old seeing this baby because people will say anything and situations turn on a dime, people move, leave the state and country , change jobs etcā¦ You could be swayed due to their involvement with you Nowā¦ but that door could slam shutā¦ as soon as the baby gets here and papers are signed. Never trust anyone and back up ALL your requests for this ADOPTION with LEGAL DOCUMENTS . Otherwise you and your other child could have 18 + or a lifetime of tears and heartache thinking that you would still get to see and be apart of that childās life and it very well may never go that way. Protect yourself and these children from a lifetime of stress, sadness, hurt, etc.
Best wishes
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My son is adopted, we told him when he was kindergarten age. As far as your other child, I would talk about when age appropriate. With our sons adoption, we donāt hear from birth mom. She wanted no contact.
Make sure there is a notorized contract of it being an open adoption with both parties signatures on them. Visitation etc listed. Otherwise, itās not completely legal and they could cut it off.
I would just be honest when heās old enough to understand. Explain you couldnāt afford him but you wanted him to live a happy, healthy life. And that you love them both the same. Donāt lie about them being siblings or they could grow to blame the adults for it. Good job for doing what is best for 2nd boy and your family!
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I find it honorable that you are choosing the adoption route instead of abortion. I pray more people would make the adoption choice instead of abortion. You are not alone. I made the adoption choice instead of abortion in 2000. Talk to your son about the baby. Be honest and open as much as possible for the age.
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Be honest about it and make sure they know each other, causes so many issues down the track if you try hide that they are siblings.
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Adoption loss is generational. It will ruin the trust your ākeptā child has in youā¦and the child may even think in the back of their mind āis she going to give me away too?ā. (I know from lived experience.) It took 8 years to get my relationship with my daughter after she watched me give her brother to strangers who promised so much an then cut us off just 19 months in. Open adoptions are not enforceable without an adoption attorney and a ton of cash. You need an adoption attorney to go to court - but one would have to commit professional suicide to represent you - after all his/her income comes from facilitating adoptions so taking an adoptive parent to court would ruin his/her reputation for future business. 
Also, your childās original birth certificate will be sealed and he/she may not even be able to get it - ever - depending on the state he/she will be born in. These are the just some of the things society and most importantly the adoption pros will not tell you. Ask the adoptees and the first mothers of adoption loss who went before you - and not the mothers who are 5 years or less in - those adoptions are still likely open. Ask the ones who are 10+ years in. No amount of counseling or dissociating from your baby will work for the rest of your life. The loss is devastating and the lost child will likely suffer lifelong abandonment and/or rejection issues that will affect his/her relationships for the rest of his/her life. (Maternal separation IS trauma.) Listen to Adoptees On podcast - all adoptee voices - The Healing Series specifically. Then come on over to Saving Our Sisters and let us know if youād like additional information regarding the trauma that you, your infant, your current and future family will suffer by separating from your baby. SOS will ensure that you make an INFORMED DECISION - something the adoption indu$try does not want - because once you know everything - you wonāt go through with it. SOS has proven that as well over the last 10 years. When mothers are informed, supported and mentored - they get through the fear and overcome the obstacles that they feel are preventing them from being the parent that they want to be. You can also follow Anne Heffron The Chameleon Adoption: Beyond Myths, Misgivings, and Mayhem
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Honesty is the best policy
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Why the hell do u have children if u know u canāt care for them???try birth control or keep your legs together foolā¦
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Your child is going to be traumatized. It will wonder why you gave it away. Adoption isnāt to build families. Adoption is for children that donāt have families. Your child has a family, you. This is a temporary situation that you are making a permanent decision about. You are permanently severing your child from your family. It is a lifelong trauma for the adoptee.
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I am on the other end of this. I adopted a family members baby from birth. Grant it she didnāt have any other children but my son is told that is his aunt. Later in life when I feel he is old enough to understand we will gladly explain all that happened and how it was done out of love for him. You are making a very selfless decision and will be making a family every happy. And side note: it will be much easier knowing that you get to continue being involved. 
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Remember, your children will always be your children but they will grow up. Children are not your property nor objects to be given away. You may risk the loss of both of your children when they become adults. Also, child separation causes trauma to the child no matter how loving a home or people who adopt them.
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Until adoptive parents split town and never let you around baby. Please get everything done legal. There are lawyers that will do it cheap and legal.
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I urge you and anyone encouraging adoption to join Adoption: Facing Realities
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Tell him that you are carrying a baby for someone who isnāt able to have one.
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You should probably speak with the adopting parents and see how they want to approach the situation. In the post it says that she will be around them and are close to them so you shouldnāt make the decision on youāre own without speaking with them about it bc it could cause an issue and then there could be the possibility that they could go NC with you and it would be a moot point. Essentially the baby will be their child not yours
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Donāt lie to either child. In this day and age, theyāll find out anyway. Itās not going to be easy any way you explain it. A 3 year old is going to be aware that there was a baby, and now there is no baby. To tell the kids they are cousins or anything other than brothers is wrong. You donāt lie about something like that, itās completely wrong. Tell the truth, they have a right to know they are siblings. This is messy.
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Adoption is NOT the rainbows and unicorns narrative our society thinks it is. Open adoptions close once you sign the baby over. Adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide. They are over represented in drug rehabs, mental institutions, and prisons. Adoption is a different life not a better life. It will hurt not only your baby but his big brother too. Listen to adult adoptees. They are the experts on adoption not adoptive parents.
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You should ask the babies soon to be mother, and see how she feels about it. What she wants to do, not what people on fb think.
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I think this is awesome of you. I donāt know what you would say to your son. But super amazing.
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Tell him the truth hun
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Explain that u r carrying a baby for another family.
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I think you should be honest and let them have a brother relationship.
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Please remember no matter what u do or donāt do people will judge especially on facebook. Remember you got this and no matter what ur decision is, it will be hard some days. Hugs
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We adopted our son from foster care but his bios got his sister back (they only wanted the sister) and are expecting another babygirl in March. He is their only son and middle child. He knows that he was in his bios belly and he also knows his sister as his sister. They are 5 and 6 years. Kids understand more than we think.
Tell your son right away. Explain in more detail as he gets older. Make it a positive experience for him and everything will be okay!
Good luck and lots of prayers for you!
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Personally Iād be honest with him from the very beginning. You donāt want him to grow up then find out you lied for no good reason.
Iād also get some counselling so you can be semi ready for those hard questions they are both DEFINITELY going to have.
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They should be allowed to be brothers.
But donāt let these people scare you. Yes adoptees go through stuff but not all. I know a lot of adopted children who are just fine and have great happy lives. And great relationships with their bio parents. And some donāt know their bio parents and it donāt bother them at all.
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Tell him the truth sweetie. Thank you for choosing adoption instead of abortion. I know itās a hard choice. Good luck sweetie
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Personally I havenāt experienced this myself so my opinion is purely just that. I think you should be open and honest however if the parents caring for the child have a different view on the situation Iād honor that. I also would always ask them first about any decision regarding their child. I know you said you all are close which makes things easier for them to bond later on. I wouldnāt necessarily call him his younger brother especially at that age. Mainly bc he wonāt understand or maybe have hurt feelings that his brother doesnāt live with him or why you didnāt want him. Iād let them bond and figure it out along the way. Iām sure his parents will have some advice on how they feel about it. Above all else THANK YOU for not aborting and giving this baby a chance even if itās not with you. Speaking from past experiences itās so hard knowing you canāt conceive or have the joy of being a Mom. Bless you for giving the gift of life to a less fortunate couple. Sending you best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and easy delivery 
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Tell him your a Tummy mummy 
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As someone who been adoptedā¦be as open as you and their adoptive parents can be! Nothing hurts more then finding out later in life.
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Sending prayers your ways!
Me and my boyfriend have done two open adoptions can I message you
My daughter is 3 going on 4 she knows about her brother and sister has met on just a couple days after we had her sister, she has a brother to! Amazon families! More then welcome to add me
Honesty is the only way
Tell the truth our youngest already plans on yelling our daughter she she is old enough
Iād be honest from the start. Take it from a person whoās part of a family full of lies about bio relatives. It causes alot of issues and pain later on in life
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I take my hat off to you wanting to give your kids a better future. Best of luck
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All the prolifers still finding away to jump up and down about their abortion opinions 
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I mean tell the truth be open and just say you were helping another family. Kids appreciate honesty sometimes.
Just say that you wanted to help another family have a baby so they adopted. Make it a matter-of-fact statement, and keep the mood light and happy. He doesnāt need to know the weight of your emotional connection behind it or the circumstances at 3.
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I never knew I had a Brotherā¦ I found out two years agoā¦ I am 71ā¦ he is 81ā¦ he lives in Australiaā¦ I always wanted a brotherā¦ I was very upset my mother never told us about himā¦ It may have made a big difference in my lifeā¦
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Honestly just sit him down when he is a little older and tell him that he has a brother and that his brother was born to make that family happy because they canāt have a child of their own. Maybe something along those lines that he has something special to do so thats why he doesnāt live with you.
Just be honest. Thereās no need to start them off on lies.
Kuddos to you, my 12 year old autistic step son just figured out his dad isnāt his āreal dadā & has been acting out since October when the mother decided to tell him. I wish you the best of luck!!!
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Kids donāt automatically grow up thinking what we would consider a ""socially acceptable family āā is normal. Being honest and open with your child about what is happening and answering their questions without open ended answers should be easy. Children are so adaptable. What is Normal in one family is foreign to another.
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I was raised by my mother and my dad never helped her. She raised 4 children alone. She worked 2jobs and always made time to spend quality time with us. I asked her how she did it and she said Where there is a will there is a way. Maybe you and get assistance but I am happy you are giving this baby life and not abortion. Just weigh all your options. This baby is a gift from God giving you another chance. Try to embrace this baby. Praying for you.
I would be honest from outset. They will both grow up and eventually will know the truth and will feel lied too if you tell them otherwise. Itās ok for your 3 year old to know this baby as his brother, but that mummy and daddy couldnāt look after him full time because of money and grown up things, that all little ones need to know until they are older and when they get bigger you can then explain more to them in more detail. I donāt think lying is going to do them any favours at all in the future. Kids are much more accepting when they know where they are x
I am adopted and we got told when I was old enough to understand along with my adopted brothers and sisters. Your child at 3 is too young to understand it all at the moment, So wait until your child is abit older but make sure you do tell them. I came from the years of closed adoptions and would love to have known my birth family. Not that I didnāt try but sadly I only got to first base and will probably never be able to meet any of my biological family. That is still my dream though as everyone has the right to know where they came from. I wish you all the luck in the world for the future and only wish they had Open adoptions when I was born.
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Let him know as soon as he is able to understand. I was told at 5 I was adopted and had the most amazing loving incredible parents God truly blessed me
Congrats on choosing a better life for your child
I think your other child should be told he has a sibbling not a cusion
I get that you have a "friendship with the new parents and are having an open adoption
But keep in mind that the new parents can change their minds especially once bubs is born
Be honest when he is old enough
I buy each child some think to saying there borthers . But I so sorry hun this sad story.
I think I would be honest. Mommy is going to have a baby. Theyāre going to live with another family who canāt have their own baby. We can go visit them.