How to tell the difference between trust issues and gut instincts?

How do you know the difference between gut instinct or trust issues from past trauma, though? I struggle with it a lot, not just with my partner but with others as well. His ex left because he cheated; he was open about it when I ask and regrets his choice daily (though he didn’t and didn’t want to be with her); he’s NEVER given me a reason to be suspicious and is honestly a really good man. But, his past mistake and the fact that my ex-husband cheated on me repeatedly put that little monster in the very back of my mind. I know I’m not the only one suffering from this, but how do you get past it? How do you know the difference between the monster and your intuition?

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There is a very fine line and it’s hard to tell :frowning:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to tell the difference between trust issues and gut instincts?

If he hasn’t given you a reason to suspect cheating he’s probably good. One good way to tell is take his cell and run to the bathroom. If he freaks he’s cheating.

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Don’t ask the ladies here. They will have you divorced for no reason. Get counseling. I went through the same thing. Now husband is great but him and ex wife had a relationship I would never participate in. My ex cheated as well. So I had trust issues. My husband has never given me a reason not to trust him.

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Leave the past in the past. Don’t bleed on someone who didn’t cut you… He’s not given you a reason to question him, so don’t.

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Until he gives you a reason not to, give him the benefit of the doubt. Once a cheater, always a cheater isnt always the case. His regret for what he’s done says he has probably matured a great deal.

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The old saying “once a cheater always a cheater” is not true. My husband was a man hoe when he was younger (has 8 kids with 4 women 🤦) and was constantly cheating on whoever he was with. Since being with me (7 years in Sept) he has never given be a reason be paranoid of that. Ive even tested him with some of my prettier friends that he doesn’t know or hasn’t met and he has never even gave them the time of day its always “just hanging with the wife and kids” ECT.

Get some councling work through the paranoia because you don’t wanna push him away by making him feel attacked when there is no reason

Always trust a gut instinct

The only advice I can offer you , I actually met my partner when he was with his ex ( I didn’t know) and we were seeing each other and saying we loved each other for around 8 months and then he confessed he was in a relationship but wasnt happy with her and was honest about before he met me there were others behind her back , then I ended it as it wasnt fair and we got back into contact a year later when he had left her for good and we’ve been together since ( 10 years ) have a child together and hes never given me any reason to believe that he would cheat on me but for about a year into the relationship I was paranoid there was others due to the circumstances we met , but until he gives you good reason to believe hes a cheat enjoy your relationship and deal with it if and when that happens

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to tell the difference between trust issues and gut instincts?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to tell the difference between trust issues and gut instincts?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to tell the difference between trust issues and gut instincts?

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  1. Anxious, panicked, fear and sick, knowing, certainty feel degrees of different. You’ll know.
    2)You can’t control other people’s behavior. He either chooses to love, respect, and trust you or he doesn’t. You either choose to love, respect, and trust him or you don’t. Accept that and you might be able to discern false flags from true warnings, but worrying about it all the time will surely make you crazy. Lay that baggage down.

I find if I tell myself I’m being paranoid and I still can’t shake the feeling, then I’m probably right the first time. My gut drops or pulls and that’s how I know. Whether it’s a person lying to me, a situation, etc that’s how I live my life, and I’d say I’m right about 90% of the time

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Feelings don’t lie if ur gut feeling telling u sumthing wrong then it’s true wen ever I get gut feelings it’s always telling me something then after some time I find out then I be told I’m imagining things when in real I’ve seen the things my gut feeling was telling me

Wait until the dreams of him cheating start.
It’s terrible

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What didn’t happen during both of you’ll relationship should not hurt or affect you counseling might also help

Hope you are in counseling to deal with your past and to help make sense of your present. A professional can help you sort things out.

I understand where you’re coming from, but you kind just have to accept that is it what it is and if you’re happy with him don’t let your thoughts ruin it. Enjoy your time. Let yourself feel what you feel, accept it and then let it go. Don’t ruin your happiness by believing all your thoughts. What you feel isn’t always real. Now if you do happen to find a real reason to not trust him, and if you can’t take the uncertainty then best bet would be to move on to avoid all the drama. If you’re not ready then you’re not ready. If you are then just have faith in whatever you believe that you’re on the right journey

Don’t hold his passed against him. Because it will definitely hurt your future!

A hidden gps device on the underneath of his car could clear this up.

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What you are referring to is that nagging doubtful little voice telling you all the possible what if’s. they refer to this part of the brain as the “ego.” It’s not really how you feel. When you start having worrisome thoughts, start by acknowledging that ahh yes, this is that little voice. Then ask yourself where am I getting this information from? From what you’ve said it’s from your own thoughts, not his actions. He was honest enough to tell you what he did. Cheaters don’t have a reason because it’s not something their partner does or doesn’t do, it’s an issue they have with themselves. It sounds like he has grown and matured.

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