Hey mamas!
I’m a first time mom. I didn’t get PPD, but i have separation anxiety. I have a 2 month old. Ive tried getting myself to be comfortable with the idea of letting the little one stay at grandma’s for a while, but my anxiety is through the roof. My SO thinks it’s just an excuse and I’m being selfish. I’m not exaggerating. I tested it out when I went to my doctor’s appt by leaving her in the lobby to be watched by family. I was pacing the room and kept hearing her crying in my head. I carried this little being inside me for 10 months and now I’m being told I’m selfish for not being able to part from her. Please give thoughts!
Not selfish… just a momma. PPAnxiety is a thing
3 months postpartum and I’m still dealing with it even on medication. You’re not being selfish! I tell my SO he’s still too little, it’ll get better when he gets a little older! Hang in there
First off your SO has no right to call you selfish. Your a first time mom. You carried your baby with you for 9 months. It’s okay to have anxiety about leaving her. Its perfectly normal. Second, you’ve gotta be able to have a moment for yourself or you’ll go crazy. Only leave her with people you trust and are comfortable with. Start out with short visits and you’ll be fine. Just give yourself some time.
Not selfish just being the right kind of Mom, a good one
don’t worry. give it time. after you teach the baby how to talk, that separation anxiety will go away.
My son didnt spend the night anywhere until he was over 1 year old. Its a personal choice. You arent wrong for protecting your little one by keeping the baby close at this very delicate time in its life.
Its completely normal… I’m a first time dad and I have the separation anxiety like that too…You’ll be fine
You’re not being selfish. I was the same way with my little one. She was probably 6 months old before I let anyone watch her and it was only for an hour or 2. but I would recommend talking to your doctor about postpartum anxiety. They may be able to help.
Um your husband would have a lot of shit to say about me then. I just left my almost 2 year old for the 2nd time for an hour a month ago. Couldn’t do it. Had to leave. I also am a parent that doesn’t believe thatyour kids need to be left out of anything so they do everything with me. My new son will be born in a few weeks and the toddler is actually going to be there w me just not in the csection
I had really bad anexity after my first. Postpartum anxiety is a real thing. Theres nothing wrong with wanting your baby with you.
Its normal. I was 37 when I had my 1st/only child. I was the same as you. It’s okay and definitely NOT selfish. Time is all it takes.
My son is 8 and im still this way… I spent half the day yesterday in tears because it was his 1st day of 3rd grade…The world is a crazy place and while I know “I cant protect him forever” I can do my very best until he is ready to do it on his own.
I’m the same way i don’t even like my family members to hold my baby boy… I think it’s normal
There is nothing wrong with you. He sounds upset for his own nonsense. I am the same way
I have a 2 year old and 3 month old and my 2 year old slept out 1 time when she was 2 weeks for 1 night at my mom’s cause i needed rest.
My child was adopted, after 4 miscarriages and a dead baby at 20 weeks, I NEVER let my baby out of my sight until she was 4.5 years old…not even with grandma…dont let anyone tell you that you are being selfish…you do you…she is 9 now and spends 2 weeks a year with grandma in Texas in the summer and I cry for her daily…I live in NY…nobody knows until they walk a mile in your shoes…
There are a great many articles that reflect this is a truth.i wouldn’t even call it seperation anxiety. It’s called being normal.
How does he think our species survived? It is literally programmed in our most ancient parts of our brains.
Hard for men to understand this reality, but it is a reality nonetheless.
It’s horrible but ya it isn’t crazy my son is 6 months old and I only leave him with two ppl. And it took that long for me to even let those 2 ppl to watch him. It took till he was 5 months old to not freak out when my husband picked our child up. I literally wouldn’t let him touch him. I let my daughter hold him at 6 but not the stepson. It’s nuts but I still think he put on an act. So I get you. Don’t leave your baby till you are ready or it’s way worse
My son was 10 weeks when my mom first watched him. We started with just so I could go grocery shopping. Then it was for a movie, we slowly increased the time to when he would stay the night with my parents.
Start slow and small. My parents were overly worried I’d develop post partum but other than anxiety I was fine
Your baby is just 2 months. You are getting use to being a mom. Let grandma enjoy being a grandma ask her over or to her house. Take a nap. When the baby
Starts teething u are going to want grandma to take the child for s while.
Congratulations to all
Of your family.
A Loving Grandma
My kids were 16 and 14 before I left them. Yes they did all the crazy stuff kids do and yes they went to school but I never felt them. Some one watching them for an hour is not leaving. Your a good mom. Not selfish my grand kids still don’t spend the night and they are 4 and 3. They are your children not someone else’s. You are just fine.
Up until my son was about 5 weeks of age, I barely wanted to be around him, yeah I made his bottles, changed him, bathed him and all that stuff. But I never really cuddled him or cherished him. I could’ve (if I was physically capable- had some birth complications) left him with my mum and just walked away, I didn’t really feel like there was a bond and I couldn’t really make that bond.
My son is 6 months old tomorrow (17th in Aus) and I hate staying away from him. I hate leaving him. I walk back a forth to his bed to see if he’s awake yet because I just want to see him…
My mum is my babysitter yet there has been many times where I’ve had plans that I voluntarily canceled because I don’t want to leave him…
It’s normal to an extent, if it’s controlling your life- get some help. PLEASE.
Mums go through this, some it happens sooner rather than later!
It’s okay to ask for help!!!
My oldest is almost 3 years old and I cried the other night because my husband (her daddy) took her to the grocery store. Well they were gone for almost 3 hours and I started to freak out. They went to wash mommy’s car at the car wash on top of getting groceries.
When they pulled in the garage I ran out there and grabbed my baby out of that car so fast and held her soooooo close! I missed her sooo very much.
It’s normal and I don’t think it ever goes away!
My son is 1 and I have yet to leave him anywhere except with his dad for a little while I went to work. If your uncomfortable it might be for a reason? He’s still so little
I have it really bad too and my daughter is almost 10 months.
Same girl. My daughter is 13 months old and i still don’t leave her w anyone except her dad unless its for like 15 min and im paying for it now bc she loses her shit when i leave. Were working on it though. But youre not selfish. These are our babies.
She’s only two months old? That’s not weird! Go love your baby forget everything else. Start to ween yourself off later, maybe around 7 months? Idk but it’s definitely early mama
My son is 2 1/2 and I’m forever hearing that I need to let someone else watch him and take a break. He stayed the night with my sister once so I could go out with my husband and I couldn’t enjoy myself because I was too worried about him having some freak accident. He goes with me everywhere. You have to do what makes you comfortable. They’re only small for a short time!
It’s not separation anxiety, it’s normal. Your SO is the selfish one of he thinks this is a bad thing and especially if he doesn’t feel the same. I have an almost 3 year old and an almost 1 year old and I leave them with no one. It’s called being a mother, a GOOD one.
I don’t really think you could quite classify it as separation anxiety yet I mean I think that’s totally normal. +2 months is way too little to honestly be letting your baby go with anyone. At least that’s me personally.
I let my first son sleep out for the first time ever when he was 5. My other 2 kids are 17months and 5 months… I plan on doing the same thing most likely. Everyone gives me shit for it but I don’t give a fuck, they’re my kids…my rules! There is NOTHING wrong with you… Alot of mother’s don’t want to be separated from their babies… especially their first. … Your s/o just doesn’t understand and never will because he didn’t carry and birth the baby… The bond between a mother and child is unlike anything else that only mothers understand … I’m not at all saying men don’t bond w their babies… You mamas know what I mean
Honesly i was the same way with my first kid. I let ppl hold her but i stared hard and felt so anxious til they handed her back to me. I hade to stay over night at a hospital when she was a new born. She was still tiny. Needless to say i was awake at 2am crying bc i missed her and had so much anxiety being away from her for so long. But my sister sent me videos and pictures and it helped alittle. So your not alone in this. Its common with any momma.
My daughter is 3 and i still have separation anxiety… it’s not an excuse to be selfish. I’m miserable when I’m away from her because i get so worried that something is going to happen and I won’t make it to her in time
Your baby is only 2 months old. It’s normal to be anxious when separated from her. You don’t have to leave her with anyone if you don’t want to. It’s not selfish at all, it’s part of being her mother. She’s only 2 months old!
It gets easier. Spend as much time as you want with your baby. It’s y’all’s bonding time. Just wait till they hit 2 years old you’ll be more than happy to let them give you a minute to breathe. My first I was the same way. Now she goes and stay with Nana and it’s so much fun for her and I get a break.
Your baby is still too little to be left without you! My kids are 6,4,2 and 11 months and the older 2 have only been without me a few times for a few hours. The grandma can see the baby by coming over to your house. Being forced to let your baby go somewhere when you’re not ready is an unnecessary stress. Your husband needs to support you and whatever you’re comfortable with.
Grandparents usually treat the Grandchildren like their parents do!!
I had absolutely terrible separation anxiety with my first born, it took almost a year before I was comfortable leaving her with anyone, but I didnt have ppd. I think its normalish. It isnt you being selfish, they need to chill out.
My second baby I am not experiencing the separation anxiety but I think I might have ppd (I’m not sure though cause all of my negative feelings are about myself, I’m over the moon for the baby)
Oh My Lord Hon!! No you are normal!! I had to go back to work when my son was 3 months. I can tell you to this day finding someone I hopefully could trust (daycare in home) and then having to leave him my head was a mess!! Don’t until you are ready!! I didn’t have a choice.
Went thru it with my littlest and ended up on meds to stop the attacks. If you don’t want to be on meds, you literally only have one other option. Leave her and get used to it. Now I’m not saying leave her all the time or do it all day, but start with an hour or so and work from there. Seperation anxiety suuucks
This is so normal momma. Not selfish. I didn’t let anyone but my husband keep my daughter until she was 6 months old and no one but my mom and best friend until she was 2! She’s 3 now and I still get anxiety about it.
New mamasyndrome family needto be more patient
I’m the complete opposite lol I wish someone would take my kid for me lol
Honestly I think its normal, especially 1st time mommies. My sister was the same way after she had my niece and nephew. To help her out I would video chat her or call her just about ever 30 mins with up dates when i watched the kids. Eventually she didnt need me to do that anymore. She knew the babies were fine with me and that I would call if needed. Your spouse needs to do some research to understand little more about what you’re going through.