Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to work through an ex using a child as a weapon?
Good. Luck. My son is 14 and still have this issue
Anyone who does this should be bloody charged
Mine just turned 10 and her dad is doing this against meâŚâŚ bc I filed for custodyâŚâŚ
Take the other parent to court for custody
Go to court. Get parenting time order in place. Best advise I can think of atm. Isnât ideally going to fix the issue but could help the relationship with the child still.
I have it written in my divorce decree that either parent cannot deny child access to other parent, electronically, telephonically or physically. It takes a pretty low parent to use their child as leverage. Not only is it damaging to the parent, it is emotionally damaging to the child. Children DO NOT deserve to carry the weight of the parents problems. I would get a custody agreement prepared through the court system. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes extreme measures to move someone. Hopefully things will get better! Sorry things are so tough. Hang in there!
Look up âGray Rock Methodâ it works pretty well for me.
Good luck!! We are fighting this very issue with my grandson. Momma wants complete and total control so we hired my son a lawyer and have been going back and forth with her lawyer. Havenât seen our grandson in almost 5 weeks now. Her lawyer has even stated that some form of visitation schedule be made until this is resolved but she wonât respond to anyoneâs text. Unfortunately our court date isnât until October 
She has blocked all of us on social media and will not respond to any texts. We are making sure now that everything is legal and done through the courts so she canât do this anytime she doesnât get her way from now on. Should have done this the moment they split but she always swore she would never do this and would do what was in the best interest of the childâŚunfortunately we had to learn the hard way.
Youâll need to go to court. Guardian ad litem. And depending on how much time passes it may ne asked for therapy to reestablish a relationship. I assume this wonât be needed in this case but could be brought up and might not be a bad idea if other parent is saying not so nice things about you to the child. It needs to be done now otherwise once they get older it will practically be impossible. My ex learned that lesson. He wouldnât take the required class our state says until over 2 years later and by then his children didnât want to see him. And by the time we went to court and made our children do therapy to establish a relationship they were old enough to decide if they wanted to see him or not. They chose not to. And I have a permanent restraining order so he canât just contact me directly. And his mom stopped for some reason after the divorce. Idk why.
Sadly, there is pretty much nothing you can do. And courts donât care either, because thereâs not really any âproofâ of harm done. (They donât care about emotional health). Iâve been dealing with this for many years now. The best thing you can do is try to be emotionally supportive to the child whose being pawned. Sadly.
Ughhh canât stand parents who use their child as a pawn or weaponđĄ. I know from personal experience my husbandâs ex-wife doesnât let him talk or see their daughter
Best bet is to take it to family court and get an order put into place so said child can see both parents and if itâs broken the parent who broke said order can get into trouble.
Not much info here. Is the other parent legally the parent? Is there legal custody, visitation in place? If the answer is no to the first he needs to establish paternity & become legally the father. If no to the second he needs to file for rights. If you do have a court order then he needs to take her to court for contempt.
This is why if u going to break up as parents then go to court and get a court order stating who gets the child on what days etc. cause some parents will keep the child from the other parent on purpose just to hurt that parent
That is sick! I would never deny my children to see their father, if they all have a great relationship. It should be continued regardless of someone emotions. Donât take it out on a child. I would go to court and ask for custody. Either every other weekend or a 50/50 split.
itâs abuse period. emotional abuse to the parent and the child. itâs wrong.
You hire a lawyer and go to court. Keep track of all correspondence
Go to court. Tbh depending on where you live, the court might not do shit. I know in MD they donât give a shit about the dad or how horrible the mom is.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to work through an ex using a child as a weapon?
Get a lawyer. Thatâs all you can do.
You have to go to court and get a parenting order
I do not understand why people do this to each other. Now that your not together you should both be more willing to do what ever it takes for the child he is part of both of you. He needs to know he can count on you both. No fighting in front of the child. All child do what they see not what you tell them so if you two want a well adjusted child then stop with the separation of the child with the other parent believe me when I say this, there will be no winners. Share the child and fill him up with everything that is good in the world.
Bitterness brings out the worst in people, my ex did the same thing. Used our daughters to try and hurt me. Thatâs been 34 years ago and heâs still pissed at me and very vindictive! Refused to walk his daughter down the isle at her Wedding if I was there! She told him thatâs fine that âmom can walk me thenâ. And I did! They will sadly see what heâs doing and itâll be him hurting. Just stay positive and donât sink to his level, never belittle him in front of your kid(s).
I wish parents knew how damaging this is to their children. They ruin their relationship, confuse them, leave them hurt and feeling neglected. The truth eventually comes out and one day your child will see whatâs going on, until then NEVER give up. Be consistent on fighting to show your love, never speak ill of the other parent, do everything in your power to prove them wrong time and time again. Your child will see the truth!
Document/ Video / Cell Phone App Record / Record if canât Video to protect themselves. I have seen men & women come up with lies to get the police involved to make them look bad. When getting child for the visitation go to sheriff/ police / that videos outside to have a witness. Get a lawyer asap.
You go through the courts
Go to court get mandated visitation
This really makes me mad 
any parent who uses a child as a weapon should be ashamed of themselves 
Court. No one likes having to take that step but unfortunately sometimes it has to happen. Try talking to the other person first, Iâm sure you have, but try again and if the response is the same bring it up. Have a lawyer on stand by.
You give that person custody and go get some God damn therapy. Any parent who uses their child as a weapon against the other out of spite, does not deserve that child.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to work through an ex using a child as a weapon?
Sounds like someone needs to grow up and put the child first . The child doesnât deserve to be raise with parents acting like that . It will mess the child up . I put my child first and decided to have a friendship with her father no matter why we broke up or what he did to me . I forgave him for her .
Probably need to get a lawyer and go through the courts
You can try and sit down and have a civil conversation with the exâŚtry and make them understand that while yâall didnât work out that your child is very much loved by you bothâŚand you both have the childs best interest and happiness at heart. Ask what it is on the part of your ex that they feel will make a difference. Priority is the child not how the two of you feel after separation/divorce/ or just breaking upâŚ
If that person canât seem to be fair and understanding then persue the legal avenue to get your rights for visitation. This is not just so you can see your child itâs so your child can see you too! At some point you have to not care as much about hurting the ex and start caring more about the relationship with your child.
Take the parent to court. Get court ordered visitation, then when they refuse, they are in contempt. Donât play their game-go high!
Extremely horrible your child anything bad about the other parent donât be part of it child will grow up and find out his self
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to work through an ex using a child as a weapon?
Court and Gardian ad litem
Parental alienation affects millions and the court does nothing.
Many kids also do it on a daily basis to the grandparents with their kids to also when they canât get there own way with the grandparents.
You take it to court.
go to court and get joint custody
That is a special kind of evil
Get a lawyer, thatâs parental alienation and in my opinion should be considered child abuse!!
Child needs to be in Foster care if both parents canât come to a agreement. Got a son whoâs ex brainwashed his daughter after 9 years. Court gave her up to his ex. This is a special place in hell for these people!
Court. Iâve been through this.
Parents should never do this , unless there is a very good reason that being with other parent would be harmful to the child , such as if other parent has an addiction that they need to get under control, but even then I would tell my children that their father loved them he just was sick , and let him see them when he was doing okay , with supervision.
Lawyer up immediately and screen shot and record everything and print out and start making a file on all contradictions and excuses and arguments that occur.
Thereâs a thin line between having rights over ur kid and using them 2 make u miserable. 4 example he can have a say whoâs around ur kid but only if he can prove any person is a threat 2 the kid. Using ur kid as a weapon is just bad parenting and the fact that heâs starting so young is even worse. Just remember kids remember whoâs there 4 them and who isnât. My scenario that might help u here is that my mom let my sister see her dad as often as she wanted 2 go but it was only when convient 4 him despite the fact he never paid child support. My sister got old enough 2 finally understand that it wasnât my mom that was the issue all those years ot was him. I guess my point there is eventually things come 2 light so keep being the bigger person. Seek a lawyer that might be able 2 give u better advice but in the end it will come down 2 the 2 of u as acting individuals in a covalent relationship.
You can go to court. Get a court order. Unfortunately, that wonât stop everything. But it will help some. Depending who the child lives with, if you, get the child counseling. Yes, a parent that doesnât have custody, and is the non custodial parent can also do this. Iâve been through that for years with my ex. They grow up. The kids do. Not the ex unfortunately. And they notice. They realize whatâs going on. And, they start having resentment towards that other parent. But, start with a legal court order, signed by a judge. Establishing custody and parenting time etc. Document EVERYTHING. If texts, make sure yours are documented as well.
People need to expand their hearts. Jesus petty petty petty.
Get a lawyer and get custody arrangements set. Then just be the best parent you can be for that baby.
Family court is always up in the air. - me and hubby were slipt 2 years 50 /50. His gf was a nightmear.
Lost custody of his middle because of her - my baby it went from 50 - to 20% -
So go to court - " his gf was message his kids - on fb " - the Judge â
She post horrible things calling brats â ect.
Judge - rule whatever he wants.
The ex needs to document every time contact has been made with the custodial parent over visitation with the child. Look up recording calls in your state. Some states only one party needs to consent. Get all the ammunition you can gather. The more proof you have the better your chances are in court. Do not delete voicemails or texts. Take snapshots of everything you find online regarding your child. Go for emergency visitation. Unless you have that in place she/he does not have to grant visitation. This will be damaging to the child since you both have a bond with him/her. Two grown adults SHOULD be able to sit and be cordial to one another for the sake of their child. When that proves futile, only a lawyer, the courts and a judge can work it out.
5 yrs in court, 1 contempt of court hearing did not change anythingâŚHavenât seen or spoken to the children in 2 yearsâŚbut husbands ex is a narcissist . Fed the kids so many lies that they wanted nothing to do with dad. I wish you better luck then my husband had with his ex. She turned the kids into angry bitter little ex wives. Just like her. They are teenagers now and hate him.
Personally I wouldnât take him to court and make him see the kid, the only reason I would was to try to stop him from seeing the kid. Itâs not okay to put kids in the middle and Iâm not forcing someone to see my child that is treating them this way. If I were to force visitations then who knows what could be happening while away.
If he wants to miss out on his babies over a split thatâs his lose.
Courts wonât allow that⌠take them to court
Look up parental alienation & get ready for a ride. Itâs like the wild westâŚ