How would you feel if your childs father dyed their hair without asking you?

I think your kid’s hair is their hair. It’s not your hair. If your child wanted blue hair, it should be their choice.

If it’s not permanent and if the kid is happy then who cares, at least her and dad made a fun memory together. Moms do this type of stuff all the time and it’s ok, so why can’t the dad do it?

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Wash it out, but if she likes it keep it, she’s just a kid. Maybe set up some boundaries about what happens at his place

Unfortunately if it’s not stated in the court order what happens at Dads stays there

I’d be very upset too. I don’t know what the hell everyone else is talking about “pick your battles”. 4 is way too young to even know what hair color you want. If she was a little older then I would talk to my child but 4 seems like it was done to get a reaction from you and it worked.

Depends. Did the kid want blue hair? Because that’s really the only opinion that matters here

I did it to my kids because they wanted it. We don’t fight the little shit.

Would you still dye your child’s hair if the dad wasn’t happy about it? Iv dyed my daughters hair for years without consulting her dad, it makes her so happy and it washes out, crazy colours like blue usually aren’t permanent.

Honestly…. If she wanted it/asked for it, I don’t see much on what the issue is. It’s just hair. HOWEVER, I also dye my hair so I don’t want to be a hypocrite

It will wash out. None of the vibrant colors are completely permanent. Although he should have talked to you first.

IDK. I’d probably freak especially if the school has a dress code that has restrictions on it. Now I have to deal with that mess.

Luckily it’s hair. I would ask if it was permanent I personally wouldn’t put this chemicals on my four year Olds head. But I wouldn’t argue about it either. It’s hair it’s not a huge deal and not worth the fight. Me personally would just say if he said it was permanent and chemicals like the strong oder ones can you try to do wash out, or something that will be easier on our child with less chemicals. But If that is the worst he’s done jn your eyes you are lucky. Maybe jt was a bonding thing. It seems to me your worried that he didn’t consult with you about it. I would say hey can you let me know what you plan on doing so I’m in the loop. But it also sounds like you would tell him no. So is it a control thing? :thinking:

The only part I don’t like is that it’s unnecessary chemicals on a child’s head. However, he is the father of your child. Do you check with him before you get her hair cut? Paint her nails? Pierce her ears? Or is it only because he’s the dad you think he has to ask permission from you? He’s a full grown ass adult and she’s his child. He didn’t harm her. He didn’t cut her arm off or permanently alter her body. He changed her hair colour. Get over it.

I’d be a little irritated and maybe ask I be informed next time, but wouldn’t waste energy on anger or arguing. She’s only 4. You’ve got a lot of years left to co-parent. Wait for more important stuff.

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If it washes out like spray yeah anything else I’d be mortified

Hell no I would be devastated :sob: whoa that is so disrespectful.

I would be pissed. Especially at 4!! That’s something that is agreed upon. It’s the lack of communication and coparenting that is the real issue here.

But, it is hair. It won’t be blue forever.

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I wouldn’t care. Hes a parent too. I think you posted before and said was arctic fox which will wash out.

Legally? Who has soul primary custody? Does he have any “decision making abilities” per the court order? If he does- nothing you can do… legally.

If he doesn’t… you could raise a stink and spend $$ on an attorney to take him to court and have supervised visitation.


You could mirror your child’s feelings about it. Do they like it? Do they feel like they are cute when they look in the mirror? Or do they hate it? If they hate it you can wash it with prell and it may fade. But this is a chance for you to do A LOT for your child’s self esteem. Are you going to make it better or worse?

Don’t listen to people responses they don’t care about the situation. They just want to throw bullshit out. I’d be highly upset. I dyed my daughter’s hair blue and regret it badly. I had to bleach it and try to match her natural hair color and I was way off. It’s took 3 years to 4 years to get almost all her natural hair color back. But now it’s darker than it was before I dyed her hair blue with splat. So for the people giving bulls#it responses need to really think about the situation before saying anything

Men don’t change.
My dad did the same thing to me when I was 4-5.
I had long curly hair to my behind and he chopped all of it off and dyed my head.
I remember the salon and the experience.
Why are we okay with this level of chemicals on a child??
You have every right to be upset.
It’s undermining and a “power” move. It’s gross energy.

Omg is this for real. It’s just hair. U have no control over what he does during his period of possession. I bet she loves it and that’s all that matters. She’s four and it’s just hair. It’s ok for u not to be control of everything. Take a chill pill n get over yourself.

I would be furious…why did he do this …was she pleading for blue hair or was it out of malice …?

I’d be pissed. There is no need for a child to have dyed hair.

I done like the hair chalk that they have that washes out etc when my daughter was that age. As my daughter got older dye her hair. My ex-husband got mad because our daughter at age 7 wanted her hair cut short. So I took her to get it cut. He flipped out. I said why are you flipping out you’re not the one that has to take care of it and it’s easier for her to do

Wouldn’t bother me as long as it was something my daughter wanted.

If it’s a permanent colour I wouldn’t be happy, if it’s a wash that comes out in so many washes then let it go. My child’s school doesn’t allow colour so that’s where I wouldn’t allow it and my child’s father knows this, the same with some hair cuts. Other than that, pick your battles, it’s your child’s hair, let them have some say in their own hair choices. I’m sure your child asked their dad first! Dad didn’t just do it without your child wanting it.

I’d be cool with it but I dye my hair blue so I really wouldn’t have a place, he could have communicated with you though

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Is is a wash out one you should not dye children’s hair if it’s wash out try and get a dye remover x

None of your business, pretty sure he doesn’t agree with everything you do either, I can see why your divorced.

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Honestly if they didn’t bleach your kids hair it’s a pick ur battle type thing. It’s hair it’ll eventually wash out and it will be blonde again. It’s fine to be upset but keep it to urself. Most blue hair dye isn’t toxic. I’d only be pissed if they bleached her hair. Sounds like that’s not the case since she was already a blonde.

Moms do the same thing without asking dads permission and no one bats an eye.

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He is her parent, too. You don’t ok every single choice you make with him. If she wanted it done, then would they really have asked you, so you can demand it not happen and disappoint your daughter and act like it’s for her best interest? It’s hair it grows back. I have absolutely dyed my daughters beautiful blonde hair. Pink and purple. Twice. 5 was the first time. She’s almost 8 and has pink streaks in her hair. It’s ammonia free semi permanent wash out stuff. But, it grows and washes out. It’s fine. And you should relax some.

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Bro…it’s hair. And it’s not your hair :woman_shrugging:t2: if your child likes it then chill out. Too many people get caught up on how their child looks or is perceived by others, your child is not a doll. Children are humans with their own likes and dislikes and as often as possible they should have control over their own bodies. Communication would’ve been nice but you’re mad for the wrong reason.

Well what did the kid want?
So Ling ad its what they wanted your just being a Karen

Absolutely not. That is a decision to make together. Both my husband and I dye our hair all the time and we agree that our kids can with semi permanent as soon as they can tell us they want to :man_shrugging:t3: but it is mutual. Him doing it without saying anything to you or getting your opinion? Nope I’d throw a fit.

I’m guessing blue is semi permanent , therefore it will wash out in few washes . It’s fine , it doesn’t ruin their hair unless it’s bleach, dying hair is fine in my opinion. Tell him from now on he has to ask u before he does things like that. But I don’t ask my daughters dad, I colour my girls hair without him knowing til he sees her next. No issues

Tbh that color will fade out, it was probably something she asked for and was a fun experience for her and her father, I mean do you ask him before you make any decisions? He is that child’s father and is capable of making decisions for his child as you are. I don’t think this something y’all should be arguing over at all! Tell him how you feel and have a conversation about how you both will deal with big decision in the future and move on. Definitely do not let your child know your unhappy or qngry bc I’m sure that child asked for it and will feel responsible for the fighting. But unless you consult him with every single decision you make as the mom you can’t say anything when he makes decisions as a father. If you can’t trust the other parent to make decisions then you shouldn’t have kids together imo

And I guarantee that child is happy as a clam and that’s the only thing that should matter

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I would only be annoyed at the colour. Blue hair looks repulsive and ridiculous in my opinion.

Oops will take it out but I mean I’d be mad but he’s her parent too :woman_shrugging:t2:

I think as long as the kid is happy I wouldn’t care

Is it permanent or does it wash out


It’s hair. Get over yourself and let your kid express herself. Goddamn

I would be a little upset I didn’t get to be the one to do it but I’d get over it. I dyed my daughter’s hair rather early so I can’t be mad if he does it.


I’d be upset that he didn’t reach out to you and say hey our daughter wants blue in her hair is it okay? Also is it wash out dye?

How permanent are we talking?
I dye my hair and my daughter wants it done. I’m debating on getting chalk dye for her hair.

I dyed my youngests hair when she was 2 bright pink as she asked for it. Better doing it young before schools tell you they can’t have it…

take her to a good hairdresser and they might be able to fix it.

I mean, I would probably dye my kids hair without my husband‘s permission. I probably wouldn’t even ask him so I don’t see it being much different. :woman_shrugging:

I be upset! But what is done is done.
I would definitely let him know that we discuss things like this.

Permanent hair dye, I’d be angry. We used washable colored hair spray (it gets everywhere) until they were a bit older. Then we used Manic Panic, which washes completely out within the month. The chemicals in permanent hair color and risk of blindess if it gets in their eyes is in no way worth it. Very poor choice on their part. They could have easily went to Claire’s and made a fun go of getting clip in colors too.

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That is ridiculous and I would be pissed as hell. Her dad sounds like a moron. Now, if it were the spray, wash out stuff and it was a small area of her hair, that would be one thing. However, if it was the permanent stuff…seriously? She is 4? They change their little minds every two seconds. She might be happy about it in this moment, but in a week? In a few days? Her dad is an idiot.

At first I was like- why do you care if the father dyed his hair! Then I realized it was the kids hair! I would blow a gauge!!!
We have a parenting agreement that doesn’t allow for crap like this. My kids 15 and we have discuss things like this. Luckily we are sort of on the same page

All these comments about its only hair and it may not be permanent…
She’s 4yrs old… You do not dye a 4yr old beautiful hair blue! He’s an idiot and probably has an immature idiot girlfriend.

He’s her parent to and blue dye washes out eventually. Tad but over dramatic don’t ya think…

That’s very young to dye hair, there are temporary colors if needed if she really wanted this. Also, it is not good to dye or highlight hair that young as most people know, it can ruin it and damage it. At my daughter’s kindergarten school, it is not allowed at school either. I would be upset for sure. I am sorry this happened.

It is his kid too but I don’t think you should dye a 4 yr. Hair on the first place. Guess my question is if you where going to dye her hair would you have asked him first

It’s not permanent and the child probably asked for it so I wouldn’t be upset

So we can do it but when it comes to the dad it’s a problem? Yes she’s little but maybe she asked? It’s both yall child and ppl need to start realising it goes both ways

When he’s sleeping dye his hair green. See how he likes it not being asked first

Is the dye permanent? If not not a big deal BUT he should def be talking to you about something like that before he does it.

Firstly if the shoe was on the other foot would it matter? Co-parenting is between both of you. She wanted you to dye it and u where okay would you ask the dad? ? I believe it’s just hair. My children dye their hair all the time with unicorn dye from Sally’s. And I have taught them that as long as they are happy with it… others don’t matter… it’s the lil things in life our memories that we truly leave our children with… my youngest daughter is 5 snow white hair… even her school teachers n principal tell her how Pretty or cool her hair is… sometimes it’s the simple things that make us feel beautiful… children are the same… does their father approve he didn’t at first but he also had to learn it’s their body’s… and memories last forever… but our time with our children are numbered… so as long as my children are safe, feed, taken care of. And they are happy… others choices or thoughts don’t matter…

It’s hair. Come on now. Did SHE ask for it? I think 4 is fine for her to ask for her hair to be a different color or to get it cut. I highly doubt it’s permanent. He is the dad so yes, he can make this decision. Does someone on his side of the family have dyed hair? If so, that could be the reason she wanted it dyed. I mean… if she has her ears pierced as a baby, don’t be a hypocrite (just added this bc people think this is fine but not things that arent permanent). At least I am sure she ASKED for her hair to be a different color. Hair dye isn’t permanent, ever. It grows out and fades. But remember… he is the dad, so he can make choices too.

He has an equal say in her appearance, as long as the girl likes it, that’s all that matters, it’s not like he needed your permission :roll_eyes: All of my kids have hair dyed hair in the summer since they were like 3-5. There are plenty of hair dyes available now that aren’t damaging in the least, hell sometimes the hair is softer and smoother after being dyed!

If it temporary hair dye, you can wash it out with dawn dish soap or I believe vinegar.

Its probably not permanent. Does your daughter like it? Go wash her hair.

yeaah i might be a little annoyed but…hes her parent too. honestly get over it. shes 4, plenty of time for it to grow out. i think this is more of a you problem and you not having control. reevaluate. is he good to your kid? is your kiddo loved and take. care of when with her father and his family? if so you are the one who needs to grow up and deal with your insecurity

Hes her parent too. Yeah I think it should have been discussed but this is an opportunity to keep a level head and talk to her dad about discussing certain topics. Just remember it goes both ways. If you decide he needs to discuss hair changes, that means if you wanna get her a hair cut before school down the line, make sure you talk to him first etc.

Its just hair hun. It will be just fine.

My concern would be if school allows it if in school. If not then eh annoyance but they also get to make decisions. Not always going to agree. Look into the next step once it’s fading bc you either need to redo or color it with something else. Talk to a stylist or heavily research what you can put over it if you don’t want to bleach and tone and color. I find blue pigment to be a bitch to remove so I follow the color wheel and plan all my funky colors in order so my struggle is less annoying.

Fun colours wash out. And the hair belongs to your 4yr old not you :woman_shrugging:t2:
We just give each other a heads up when our kids do a big hair change

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I’d be pissed assuming they used anything but fake dye.

I know there are some hair dye for costumes and what not.

But damaging my baby’s hair is a huge no for me

I honestly wouldn’t even think to ask dad if I was going to dye my daughters hair. As as long it was what she wanted, he used safe products and it wasn’t splotchy I wouldn’t be upset.

He is also her parent, so do you consult him before every decision? Has she ever had a hair cut you never asked him about? Painted nails? I never ask my kids dads for permission to get my kids hair cut, my eldest had a blue mohawk at one point because he wanted it.

If its not permanent and most importantly, if the kid likes it. I’d let it go. If it is permanent I’d be pissed about the chemicals etc and would mention that to him.

Does your child like it ? That’s what matters as It’s her hair ! It can be grown back and if they love it then let that child express herself! It’s really not a big deal. Just ask him next time to talk to you about it 1st if that makes you feel better.

Hopefully her natural color comes back. Smfh.

Yes I might be a mad at first, but if my daughter likes it then that’s all that matters. I would be really mad if he had dyed her hair even though she didn’t like it.

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Not at age 4. Nope. Not even for the mother to do it.

As a hair stylist, I’ve always pointed parents of smaller kids in the direction on sprays, hair chalks, etc. Bleach (especially on the scalp) at 4 yrs old isn’t recommended. I’d be upset but if she was happy, I guess I’d let it go. Having to share a child must be a difficult thing

I’d color it right back that’s some disrespectful bs

Like permanent??? Or one of those one Wash kits? If permanent someone is about to see the wrong side of me. Getting cut!!!

No big deal. My son has had so many colors. :woman_shrugging:t4: We have bleached it and done purple, red, pink, etc.

Depends on how permanent it is and how quickly it washes out. I’d be more pissed if he knew y’all had family photos planned or something and he did it to be spiteful

mines strawberry blonde too but more red lol when she was 4 my sister put temp pink dye in. Straight up ruined her hair!made it impossible to brush! snd was so rough to the touch I wanted to cry! still to this day it’s A little corse. 5 years later. :relieved::relieved::relieved:

Id be dying his hair when he slept

Is it temporary? As in it’ll wash out in 20 washes? If so… meh. It’s just hair.

I think dying any child’s hair is a no no especially at that age, and especially with a permanent dye,
Now if it was for something like charity ie we just had children in need and it was a wash out one n not one of these that takes ages to wash out it wouldn’t be so bad.
If child was a teen and knew what hair dye can do to your hair then I would say it’s down to that child if they wanted it dying but at 4 it’s a big no from me

Meh, it’s just hair. Also she’s their kid too so I don’t think they need to run it by you really. Sure it’s annoying but I’d say pick your battles

I’m sure it’ll wash out after a few washes. I would be mad but it’s not like he went for a permanent hair color.

I wouldn’t be arsed if I’m honest

I would be upset to he should have at least asked what you thought first that would’ve been the proper way to coparent 

I think your feelings are valid but,I also don’t think dad did something harmful.I feel like if she likes it,then leave it be.Pick your battles with dad.This one seems to be a battle that isn’t worth the fight honestly.

I’d be super mad. No 4 year old needs colored hair. I’d definitely define things more specifically within your arrangement.

I say, pick your battles. Don’t cause issues in coparenting when the choices made aren’t detrimental to your child’s health

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She has strawberry blonde. Red hair doesn’t like hair dye too much so it should wash out over time. I’ve tried my whole life to dye my hair and it strips out. Also my strawberry blonde daughter has the prettiest colour and I’ve always told her not to dye it she’s 7 now and the only one with strawberry hair so all she wants to do is dye it. It’s like having straight hair and wanting curly vice versa. . I haven’t caved yet but I hate the blues and crazy colours of dye. Much to woke for me.

Life is to short to get mad over something like this I mean yes a conversation should have been had but he is her dad and unless you consult him for everything he has just as much right to give her permission to do it I’d be more upset if bleach was involved, but she wore whether it washes out or grows out. It’s not like it’s ruined forever it’s hair

My daughter dyed her hair blue and it freaked me out. She’s 47 . It finally washed out now it’s bright pink. :joy:

My husband didn’t want me doing anything to our girls hair, our oldest is 12, I finally got him to agree this year to let me color whichever of our kids wanted color. But he didn’t want me messing up their hair since he saw me burn & destory mine in our teen years lol. Our 4 year old boy had blue, now green hair. Our 9 year old had pink, now red. & our 7 year old girl had pink, now purple. He isn’t all thrilled, but he sees how much they all love it & how happy it makes it, so as long as I ain’t damaging their hair he’s fine with it. All that being said, I don’t think they should have done anything without talking to you 1st. Together or not, parents shouldn’t be making decisions without both being on board

Unless they strapped the child down and forced the dye upon them, I’d be pleased they spent the time together doing something neat.

Oh no. With blonde hair it won’t ever turn out the same no matter the color or permanence you just shouldn’t color a child’s hair unless it’s a family lifestyle that is going to grow with them beyond teen years. Children at 4 don’t understand the consequences either. They want and yes it could of made her happy. But it doesn’t really matter does it. He didn’t ask you and that’s disrespectful. My daughter lost her 2 front baby teeth. Beauty does matter to us. She’s adorable and I love her toothless self but I know the feeling of she’ll never be the same again. Just be greaful for your baby girl and understand that it’s already done and make the best of it.

This happened to me. It was the first time my son’s hair was died. They used a bleaching kit when I said I don’t like that you used a bleaching kit on my son. They lied and said it wasn’t a bleaching kit but I looked it up online and it was. He didn’t want to meet my ex’s new girlfriend and that was a bribe to get him to go over there to do it. And they were going to die another color over the bleached hair dye and they didn’t even get to that. They sent it home and I had to finish their bribe and the color wasn’t enough coloring and my ex tried to make me buy it because they spent a lot of money on the bleaching kit and told me I was dumb and didn’t know how to dye hair. There should have been enough… I immediately said no I’m not going to pay for it and complete your bribe and I was pissed that nobody asked me if my kids hair could be bleached. It was the most annoying and horrific experience. I think you have the right to be mad and I’m sorry you’re going through it.