"What would you do if you found out your husband had an affair for a month? Like he slept at her house in her bed and everything. Since then, he has cut all ties with her and wants to make our family work, but I need advice."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"If my husband had an affair, he would be my ex-husband. Plain and simple. I don’t care how long we have been married, how many kids we have, what anyone says or thinks. There are zero reasons/excuses to cheat on your spouse and there are zero chances that your relationship/marriage will ever be the same after. There is also a very high probability that it will happen again."
"You have to be able to forgive him and work on building trust again if you truly want to fix the marriage.
Not everyone can do it. It's really hard to repair broken trust. And there is nothing wrong with you admitting you can't forgive him. Don't feel forced to make it work."
"Some people can get past it, some people can’t. For me, I couldn’t. I tried, he did everything I asked him to (change number, change email, delete social media, go to counseling) and I just couldn’t get over it, even after 3 years I found out. It turned me into such an angry and resentful person. Once trust is broken, it’s hard (if not impossible) to get back."
"Nothing will ever be the same again. Once trust is gone its hard to get back and if you stay you will be the one that suffers the most. But that's a decision only you could make. I've been cheated on and wish I would of just left the 1st time. I will never go through all that again."
"Follow your heart. The only opinions that matter are the two that are in your relationship."
"I’d divorce him as I would never trust him again… if you can forgive him, and never bring it up again or think he will do it again, then try counseling… but I personally couldn’t and would leave."
"Yeah he's cut all ties for now. And when your guard is down he'll pick right back up. I don't know how you could ever look at him the same. But couples therapy would be the first thing to try."
"Separate from him do some soul searching. Find out really if u ready to leave or do u want to give him another chance. Really, only you can make that decision. There has been couples that have gone for counseling and got through cheating and then there are couples that didn't."
"Run! Get out. With That amount of disrespect the relationship is over. You don’t deserve it!"
"Honestly I think it would be the end of my marriage because I don’t know if I would be able to ever really get past it. Plus in my own opinion you can’t have a good successful marriage if there’s no trust and once the trust is broken like that in my own opinion I don’t think it ever be fixed. And I don’t think I’d be able to be with him intimately because I would be so paranoid that he is thinking about her instead. It would just be total deal breaker for my marriage."
"Relationship do work after affairs. It take a lot of renewed trust and therapy but some couples make it."
"You will never have a peaceful heart and mind. You may have forgiven but you will never forget and that is what will haunt you."
"You may be able to forgive but you will never forget. Can you live with the vision that's going to give you? Can you live with wondering where he's at or what he's doing? Your choice but I couldn't."
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