Hello! I was wondering if you can post anonymously. So I’m 22 weeks pregnant with my second child. I didn’t know how to tell the baby daddy and he just found out. He’s all mad about me carrying full term. But I didn’t expect for him to care. We never really had a relationship. I felt like I was too much of a coward to tell him right away. I just wish he’d try to understand my perspective
I honestly feel like it’s your responsibility to tell whoever you got pregnant by right away.
This way you can come up with a game plan together or see if that person is even interested in being involved.
Sounds like this guy doesn’t want to have a child, being that he’s “not happy.”
This just screams irresponsible, on both parties involved…
You should have told him from the beginning. (This obviously excludes abusive situations). I’d be pissed if I didn’t know I fathered a baby and didn’t know toll halfway through
You can’t expect someone to be happy if you kept it a secret and if you barely had a relationship to begin with. Best you can do is continue to stay stress free through the pregnancy with or without him.
I have 2 grown children - one boy one girl . Always told em both - you are responsible for your actions and held responsible for the consequences of those actions . For my daughter- always protect yourself because you alone will left with the biggest cross to bear . To my son always protect yourself because ya can be deceived into something you do not want - accidents happen , but more often than not it’s avoidable . You didn’t tell him for a reason you are not disclosing - so either you are afraid of him in general - or you mislead him and now are regretting your decision. Either way you have a lot to figure out from this point on - best of luck - do not ask him to sign away his rights unless you are totally able to provide for this child . It still takes two -
I’m sorry. I got pregnant with my 2nd similarly. I was terrified. He is 12 now and the bio has never met him by choice. I’m happily married to the man that stepped up. He was my bestfriend (friendzoned) for 3 yrs and I realized I couldn’t live without him. I know that is off subject…go through DFCS for DNA testing and child support payments. Let him go on his way.
Your body your choice! Good for you doing what is right babies are precious and a gift from above! Don’t let this man take your happiness stand strong for your babies and for your self Queen! Sometimes it takes a village but some of us are not fortunate to have one but everything will be ok! Love prevails faith xoxo
First of all congratulations on your new little one. From your reaction I’m guessing there is a good reason you were scared to tell him. If you are afraid for your safety get help legally. Otherwise do not let him convince him to give up your baby if you don’t want to. I would wait until the baby is born and see how he feels about it. If at that point he is not amenable to a relationship with the child let him know he needs to sign over his rights or you will take him for child support. Primarily, start custody now, file for full custody. You can always change visitation later
I’m glad you waited to tell him. I feel like he would’ve convinced you to terminate.
Idk what your perspective was? I understand since you all were not in a relationship why you would be nervous to tell him however you knew you were going to keep the baby regardless bc you are. So you should have just told him right away and of course I’m sure that’s he feels some way about it. If you at least told him when you found out the conversation would have been had and you would have come to an understanding that he may not want to be a father but it’s your body and your baby as well. And you do want the child. Of course he would care. It’s also his baby and he isn’t ready for it.
You never really had a relationship and having his second child ?
It’s ok for him to be unhappy about this.
We don’t get to control how others feel.
For obvious reasons, this is not an ideal situation for him at all.
That being said, I’m a firm believer that once you decide to have a baby, you need to focus on that. Work hard and be the best mama you can be and enjoy this. Do it without him if that’s what you/he chooses.
Make sure you cover your bases for what kind of role he will have and then do your best to be mature about it. For everyone’s sake.
What was he going to do if you had told him when you first found out? Freak out? Back in the old days women usually kept a pregnancy to themselves until about 3-4 months along in case things didn’t work out. Give him a minute to wrap his head around it and then come up with a parenting plan.
Congratulations!
Best you plan on being a single mom of 2. Hopefully you have a job and are financially independent…leave his *** file for custody and child support.
You should have told him a long time ago. Even though it is your body and your choice, you could have at least given him the opportunity to talk about it with you before it was too late.
Congratulations on your little one. And I’m sure you’re gonna be a great mama with or without his help! I wouldn’t rise to him give him the option either be in the Baby’s life or not, if not then don’t come back years down the line demanding the right to see them. Because by then it’s too little too late. You got this mama
If he is not interested in the child then why don’t you leave him off the birth certificate and have nothing to do with him .
You shouldve told him, period. That was very selfish on your part.
You can not control how someone react/ feel about stuff like this , he is not happy and you knew it that’s why you didn’t tell him. There’s not much to do right now, wait until the baby is born and see if he change his mind and decide to be present in the babies life , if he doesn’t want to ask him to sign away his right and be the best mom you can for both of your kids
I really dislike piece of crap sperm donors. Pay up. It’s a bby…
Not just your life. If it were me it’d have my last name , you’d be on maximum childsupport amd then you can go on your way… meanwhile I document it to show young adult mom tried dad’s worth nothing.
You made your bed you’re gonna have to lie in it. You decided 100% to have this baby without telling him so you can’t make him financially responsible because he didn’t get to be involved with the beginning process. It is his baby too, he’s gonna probably want to love it and be in its life and if that’s the case you don’t get to say no.
If he doesn’t want to be in the life then just move on and have your baby
Congratulations on your baby <3 Love that baby enough for two. Do the paternity test. Don’t let him off the hook for support but get the custody issue settled legally. Always keep the lines of communication open. People do change and he may be glad about the baby once it is here.
Congrats Mama, as for him, tell him to sign his rights over and have a nice life (if you can support the both of you) otherwise make sure he helps out, it took you both to make the child. You don’t need to make someone love your child. If they don’t already do that from the beginning, then tell them bye.
Congratulations on your new little one! If dad doesn’t want to be part, then good riddance! You’ve got this momma!
I had that with my second and i said u can walk im not making u stay he stayed and was nightmare he felt he had to after i said u can walk away im doing it reguardless and was never good day i should have made him ao from experience if he not really interested push him walk
If he doesn’t want the baby, have him sign his rights away when it’s born.
Why were you afraid? Is he abusive?? If you can financially support yourself and your children I would ask him to sign over rights at birth.
Ok…he doesn’t care…Point made.So u move forward without him!! Just make sure not to give the baby his last name…Give your last name…Will save u a lot of legal issues later on…But do sign off on Child support.
Unpopular opinion: Everyone should be able to nope out if the pregnancy. Let him sign away rights and be a single mom. Or just don’t tell him. You had your chance to get out of it, don’t force it on him.
N before “he laid with her he needs to take responsibility.” No. She had a choice to nope out and chose not to, he should be able to too
So don’t include him in anything. Let him go about his business and put him on child support through the courts.
Cease all contact with b.d.
Get a family law attorney to secure your rights, full custody…and to set up child support payments through the Court, now.
Expect a DNA paternity test upon birth.
Legal Aid in your area is free for attorney assistance in this. Call and set up appointment to be assigned one, now. Your remaining 3.5 months…will go very fast.
As long as you are happy and prepared to do what you have to then let him be upset. You should not have to be scared to tell someone you love or that loves you that kind of news. If you aren’t married and he doesn’t want involvement then he doesn’t have to sign the birth cert. would telling him earlier have changed your decision to follow through with pregnancy? If not then all you did was save yourself from possibly having him on you about making an alternative decision to one you already made. When you decided you were having the baby that was a wrap regardless if you told him or not. I hope he comes around and is able to coparent and respect your decision. If not then I’m sure you will do just fine. Congrats!