I am a single mother who should be on bedrest: Advice?

Your child that has autism has tons of available help for all of you, that would take a load off. Look up your counties Community Service Board. Almost every county has one. They can start help. Even things like reimbursement for doctor appointments. They can also help with services to help you. Look up and call a prego center in your area? Churches? It’s time to establish support payments. I had zero help from my family, none of these services were available than and I went to school and worked while I had toxemia. My work was nice enough to put a couch back in accounting so I can put my feet up during breaks and take a nap at lunch taking the bus to and from work everyday. My son lost air at birth and it’s a learning experience. Now I try to help those just starting the experience. It’s not easy but you do what you have to for your life and helping them be successful

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Honestly it’s soon enough in the pregnancy that I would get an abortion. If you’re against abortion, then try to get on short term disability. Take advantage of community resources for your children. Demand that the father provide support even if you’re not together, for the sake of your children. If he won’t do it willingly, go after him in court. You can attend court hearings over zoom these days I hear. If you have any family, request that they come to stay with you to help and watch your kids. If your kids are old enough, have them watch each other.

An alternative is to hire a midwife or nanny, but that is going to cost you more money. Food pantries will sometimes deliver to people who aren’t able to pick it up themselves. You could also try a gofundme.

But whatever you do, don’t put your life in danger. You have to protect yourself in order to continue to care for your children.

Prayers are with you stay strong one day at a time ask for help it will be ok take care

I know I’m gonna get crap from everyone for this, but I’m gonna lay it out on the line truthfully since I’ve been there with people close to me and watched them suffer through this only to have a much different outcome:
You have a legitimate reason to consider abortion. You’re also still in the window for a Medication Abortion (10 weeks is the cutoff point) and can take the pills at home. I know it’s not an easy choice, but it is your choice.

However, if you choose not to go that route:
You have a wealth of services available to you with a child who has Autism. You can get respite for them through Regional Center (or whatever it may be called in your state - we call it Regional Center in California). Once you get set up with that, they can refer you to other agencies that will work with your other kiddos and ones that can help you get disability and leave from school/work under FMLA.

If you’re in Palm Beach County Florida there’s a program call healthy mommy, healthy babies they help with things like that. Reach out to your local wic, 211, children coalition and medicaid( if you have) hopefully one can guide you in the correct direction.
I’m sorry you’re going through all of that, try resting as much as you can

With you not being able to be on bed rest with this condition you’re probably going to lose this pregnancy and run the risk of complications I would consider abortion as on option at this point…I’m sorry your going through this I’m in PA if you need to talk I have 3 girls of my own :white_heart:

If I knew you were close to where I lived, I would help you. Call some churches and see if anyone would be willing to help you. There are some people who love to volunteer to help others.

Keep pushing god has a plan for you, follow your gut, look for resources there is help out there :blue_heart: life will get better and u will look back and be so proud of yourself​:heart: from one single momma that raised two kids on her own and with no help…

I would ring social services and ask for help! X

I chose adoption for my twins (my 4th and 5th) because I knew I couldn’t do it. They paid almost all my bills, and were also a great support. Most adoptions are open, and the adoptive parents are Your choice. You would get to choose everything. Where they’re from, how open of an adoption etc. Just a thought. Love and peace and prayers. :heart:
P.S. The adoption specialist also truly cared for me and helped support in all kinds of ways.Feel free to message me either way.


You are stronger than you know!
I’m also a single mother with now 6 kids, each pregnancy i was high risk and put to bed rest. I also didn’t have any natural supports. Things worked out. Try to relax.

I would encourage you to take some time to write out a routine for you and your kids. Look up any support agencies around you, such as best beginnings. When you take a step back you may see other ways of doing things. Your kids can help out around the house. Try not to sweat the small stuff.

I’m sorry but adoption or abortion. I would never bring a child into this world that couldn’t be properly cared for and also think about yourself as well as your other children that are already born and needing you… not being rude or anything but just think about others.


I’m not sure what state you’re in but look and she if they offer assistance. In my state they have assistance programs for kids with ASD. They might be able to help with the school aspect. I would also look for a mother’s helper even if it’s a few hours a week to help with the household chores. By me I can find someone for about $8 per hour through care.com. Talk with neighbors and see if they can help you. Talk with other moms from your kids classes see if anyone can lend a hand. I went on bed rest with my second and my husband walked out on us. It was hard trying to manage everything but thankfully we got through. Good luck

First off, where is mom located? There has to be someone that can reach out and help.
Do you belong to a church of any kind? Maybe some help can be given. I would agree, sign up for any and all assistance. Thats why we pay for it.

Maybe considering a state paid live in nanny/assistant/nurse whatever. From what you’ve described you should qualify for government assistance, a service many don’t know about is paid care givers, they can be live in or part time and come help with the house, kids, shopping, care, ect… I was one for 3 years.
The virus has made it difficult to find assistance in situations like yours so i totally understand that. Also consider joining a fb group that helps people, or a mommy group in your area. I do not envy your situation I really wish I could come help you. A friend of mine who had 2 high needs daughters just had her son, while she was pregnant with him she had a torn placenta and I was over there almost every day. I know we don’t know eachother but please if I’m located near you reach out I will help as much as I can.

Regarding college. You can go to them and explain the extenuating medical conditions and get your courses delayed till next year.

Can I also just say F that Ahole who just bolted. That’s bs.

There’s the option to get help using all the means listed above, or you could terminate… Please know if you choose the 2nd one u can always reach out to any of us to talk vent etc. We got you

Church, talk to the doctor, talk to a social worker from school they r wonderful to help!

Some of your local churches might be able to help. Local pregnancy centers as well. A neighbor. Coworker. Ask on your fb page see if anyone is willing to help. Maybe find a job online so you can work and do school at home or take a break from school until this is over. Your other kids sound old enough to help a little or start learning to help around the house. Get groceries delivered, easy stuff they can make for themselves and each other. Maybe your kids can go to friends houses every now and then or after school centers. They might need to start going to school.
You also should look into calling a lawyer and asking what to do to get child support from the father. At least just for a babysitter or daycare so you can work and go to school.

Prayers really do work. :revolving_hearts::rose::rose:

You already had 3 kids depending on you. All that on you and you got pregnant again. Not a sign of being very responsible. It’s not something one can just simply shrug off. Pregnancy is a big deal. Learn to make better decisions. Sounds like I am giving harsh advice? Yes, because conjoling and pampering will get you nowhere. You need to be told to take responsibility for your predicament because you will now have many, many choices to make which had better be better than the ones you’ve been making. I truly hope you find some answers, but it should all be done with prayer, and it will require a lot more hard work.