I am a single mother who should be on bedrest: Advice?

Last week I was diagnosed with a progestational hemorrhage at seven weeks pregnant. I have had cramping, sharp pains, spotting, nausea, and migraines the entire pregnancy. Shortly after finding out about the bleed and that I should be on bed rest, the baby’s father left us. I do not have a supportive or helpful family and no friends. I am raising my three other kids alone (full custody), so I cannot be on bedrest. I am also a full-time online college student while homeschooling all 3, one of which has autism. What should I do? I have never felt so alone right now; I am suffering every day and haven’t even been able to hold down food since yesterday morning. I am just really lost right now.

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Church family? Co workers?

Which state do you live? If you are close id help as I know what it is like to have no support either. May God Bless you and keep you all safe, happy and healthy :heart:

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Even if you don’t go to a church, reach out to a few in your community.

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Contact a midwife or gp they should be able to link you with support services. All the best

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Gotta be some kind of women support groups around. Where do you live

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Also call 211. They might have programs to refer you to. Also reach out to older children’s school.

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Im so so sorry that ur going through this…where r u located? I wish i could give u a helping :raised_hand:

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Reach out to the local social services in your area and request resources. You may qualify for free daycare for the kids during the day or home help.

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Try to find a supportive network - friends, family, his family if they are good to you. The hospital might be able to identify social workers or case managers who can come out and help. Sorry for your stress! I know our state has a program through health department that helps mothers.

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Contact social services see if you can get help, churches, any place that offers help even the local food banks might have information on who you can call, you could even advertise help needed.

Go to a shelter
Once your in there they help u get housing and a program that helps u pay for housing
Since u cannot work also sign up for food stamps and tang. Once u start working u could get free daycare or very low cost with dhs help.
I have a friend who was in similar situation and this is what they did.
Ur baby and ur health come 1st and seeing how u can’t work and need to be on bed rest u should put ur kids in online school to put less burden on u so u can rest and take care of urself.
If u have to move just hire movers. Don’t lift anything. :heart:

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You should contact your medical provider and ask for assistance.
Homeschool is a versatile thing. Now it’s the time to take a break and they can go through the summer if need be. Or you could try more independent work or educational videos from YouTube

Call Biden he has All the answers

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. That’s very tough. I will pray that you can get the help you need :pray:

Message me i am now a stay at home mom my oldest goes to school and would come help you if you live close!

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Im praying for you and your family! Not much else i can do to help. I sure hope you get some help and everything works out for you!! :heart:

Can your kiddos hang out in your room on the floor and do school work and come up to you if help is needed? You can do school work from bed!

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Hey. I can be a text friend. If that would. Help you any. Honey. Just. Take it easy and beath. Lay down relax like the dr. Said honey. Tell your kids mommy needs. To rest. For thr baby and they have to help you. See how that works.

You have to find some kind of help. Did you ask your doctor?

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Talk with your OBGYN. They should have contacts and resources to help you. So sorry you are going through this. Sending all the good vibes :blue_heart:

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At 7 weeks pregnant? If I had the option I’d get an abortion. This is a tough box to be in and all of my love goes to you in whatever you choose to do. Women are strong especially for their kids I know you’ll pull through. I’m not here to argue about your opinion on abortions either fellow group members :heart:

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Use birth control maybe? :woman_facepalming:t2:

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I took out student loans to help support my kids and myself while I went to school. Definitely check into this option!

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Contact your local health department, social services, WIC, some insurance companies have wellness resources they can point you to. make sure your Dr knows you aren’t eating

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I felt that someone had wrote my life down. I’m in the same boat with you momma. If you see my comment please DM me. I understand exactly what your going thru. The best is take it a day at a time. A task at a time.

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I would call your ob for the morning sickness and see if you can get something for that, and I actually had one when I was pregnant with my last baby and I couldn’t be on bedrest either and he’s a 2.5, definitely not saying risk it but you know your limits momma. Ask friends or other moms around for help, I would definitely be right there to help because Ive been there and it’s so hard you got lots of little humans depending on you.

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Take it one day at a time. Don’t stress yourself to much with this homeschooling look into family support centres
They can offer help.

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Stay away from the men.

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Depending on your insurance, your doctor may be able to prescribe some help at home with a home health aid and or nurses visits. A home health aid could at least help with cleaning, laundry and help with meals and even grocery shopping. I would talk to your doctor for advice. There are other services that may be available in your area that might be able to help. If you go to church, I would ask your pastor. They may know of help or could get members to help. My best advice is to take care of yourself the best you can.

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Honey prayer and churches will help they are the greatest they are loving caring and giving people and when you have God you have everything and prayers work miracles God our great father please be with lady and her children send her in the direction she needs to go lead her and guide her and keep her and her family and new baby safe in your precious name amen honey if I knew where you was I would come to help or contact someone to get you help

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Prayers for you but also never forgot you are so important and so are the babies you have. Talk with your doctors about all your options

God is with you and your children.

Where are you located?
You may be able to get help thru Red Cross …

Prayers for you & your children. I hope you can get some help. :heartpulse:

Churchofjesuschrist.org - call the church in your area. They may be able to help you.

I’m an autism mom with 4 kids and I had the same thing along with a placenta abruption that landed me on bedrest. I couldn’t follow those orders though, I had a garden that needed daily care that my family counts on to feed them through the winter, our cabin was only half done, my kids needed homeschooling, our fall harvest needed to be done before our produce went bad, and my high needs kids still had different therapy appts. I just wished for the best really, because at the end of the day, that’s all i felt I could do. Good luck

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Apply for any and all types of assistance. With home schooling you should be able to sit down while doing that and just let your kids know that mommy is hurting and needs them to help you just as much as you need to help them. Sell anything and everything you can to make some quick cash to have on hand. Sign up for the salvation army thing for Christmas for your kids asap.

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This is so sad and I can feel your desperation. Whats with these men who get women pregnant and then bolt??? All I can do is pray for someone[s] to come alongside and help -because w/o total bedrest you will most likely miscarry. Dear God - send this mom help and make a way where there seems to be no way.

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I’m so sorry.
You don’t have many options and you may not want to at all- but if it’s possible you may want to consider terminating this pregnancy.
It’s your body- your beliefs- I’m in no way attacking or saying you can’t do something. Just from the outside in- you have a lot happening and need to be able to be a part of the others lives. You have 9 months to go and it’s only going to get harder.
Public assistance is hard to come by due to the pandemic and none of this is doable alone.
I’m sending prayers- hugs- and love.
I hope you find a solution that brings balance to your life. I’m so sorry you’re at this crossroad.
Best wishes :heart:

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I’ve been on bed rest for 6 months so I feel the pain and I only have 1 5 year old with suspected autism! Luckily I have a husband but he is snowed under with work and it really sucks!

If you have a new project Harmony around you you should reach out they have lots of assistance that can help you and if your son or daughter has autism you should get some sort of assistance where you can get a Para to come in and help

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Is there a local Facebook mom page you can join and reach out?
Places like public health offices, DHS, Planned Parenthood and the like, your hospital, and your doctors office should have lists of ways you can get some help.
Also reach out to your children’s teachers/schools. I bet they’ll be so understanding especially this year.

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Some women advocate centers might be able to help also talk to you local resources office state assistance office you maybe be able to get in home care provided threw health insurance because of the bed rest order

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I woman in your position needs help. Find a social worker and get the help that you need for yourself and your children. Good luck to you, I want to apologize for the cold hearted nasty people that have attacked you.

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Are you involved in a church? Pray for God to put the right people in you path. Put one foot in front of the other. Get the kids to help with anything they can do. What ages are the 3?

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You are in no position to homeschool — send them to school so that you can at least get a few hours to yourself! You gotta acept your limitations and not take on more than you can humanly handle. You are not doing your children any good that way

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Women have the right to choose and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or guilty if that’s the route you decide to take. In my opinion, which is all that it is… I would think it would be healthier for you and better in the short-term and long run to continue to raise your children and move past this as it is potentially dangerous for your well being in many ways to keep going with the pregnancy.

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Awww hun…I’m there with you. Keep being strong. See what emergency assistance you can get and call out to anyone that will listen close by. Internet does wonders when it comes to home schooling and help if you let yourself be herd. Don’t be scared to either. This is a good start. Good luck.

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Do school work from your bed. I am 60 and have health issues and work. My grandkids 7 n 12 are here doing online school. They bring their computer into my room for help.
They are doing most dishes n laundry n sweeping
Assign the kids chores. Get groceries delivered

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I’ve been on bed rest before with another small baby infant. I had my son’s 11 months apart and now I’m a single mom of 3. I’m sorry because I know how hard it can be. :frowning: You are already so strong you can’t give up now. Hugs!!!

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That situation sounds like one of the toughest. I’m so sorry. It’s so easy for all of us to say “there’s help out there” but in reality I know how hard that help is to get. You know what’s right for you and your family. Take a moment and sit in a room and think. Your gut will tell you what you want and need to do. I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking but it does sound like you’re asking if it’s okay to get an abortion. And the answer is yes. It is absolutely okay. If you need someone to tell you that; then yes. That’s why they are a thing. Because there are women in your situation everywhere. It is okay and it absolutely does not make you a bad person. It is 100000% your choice. If that’s not what you were asking, I’m sorry. The other comments seem to give some good ideas on how to keep going. Good luck momma, life can be very rough but YOU have already made it through 100% of your worst days. So just keep going :heart::heart::heart::muscle::muscle::muscle:

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I’m not sure what you should do, but momma you are tough! :muscle:t2::heartpulse: Just keep taking things one step at a time. Just do your best. :heartpulse:

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Speak to your health visitor or midwife. They will signpost. Any local Mum groups on fb?
You’ve got this :muscle:t3:
P.S. Ignore the keyboard warriors, concentrate on the positive only. Love a fellow abandoned single Mam :family_woman_boy:xx

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Can you reach out to your neighbours? I’m sure they would help, or even make a post on your own fb and ask if anyone can watch the kids for a bit so you can rest, if there is a community page, id ask for help on there too or ask if anyone knows places in your area who can help. :heart:

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Social services, and even of you’re not religious sometimes local churches have resources!

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I wished I knew where you live, I would def help you with anything I can! Praying for you!! You’re not alone!!!

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Can you contact your doctor’s office with your concerns? They might have someone or somewhere to direct you for help.

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Stress is a big thing during pregnancy I wish you the best

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Does your health care insurance offer respite care?

Reach out to a local church or community agency

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Depending on the severity of your son’s Autism, you may be able to connect with your local resources and be eligible for some help (day programs, etc). Just because you have full custody, does not mean you do not need help. Reach out to their grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. Look at options other than homeschooling. Day programs for them will give you time to do your online work, rest, etc. Because you are in school, you should be eligible for TANF, child care assistance, food stamps, medicaid for you and the children. Your Autistic child may be eligible for SSI.

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Please message me whoever you are. I can help if you’re close, if not I can still try and I’m here if you need me

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Reach out to neighbors see if maybe they can help. Hope everything works out for u xoxo

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Wherr are you located?

Praying for you and your babies . Call for assistance and reach out to churches in your area. Don’t know where your at but I’m in De

Send all our love n prayers to u and yours, i wld try your best to stay off your feet. Maybe set up an area on your bed or in your rm so u can help the kids with their schl work from bed. N also do your schl work from bed n only get up if u absolutely have to. If u have rm in your rm for the kids to hang out in there with u n play n do whatever when they’re not doing schl work so u can keep an eye on them. At least till u can maybe hire someone cheap or maybe get a room mate that u can trust that can dbl as a nanny. N they can help with bills or something n help u in between when they work. Something has to b done bc its not exactly safe to do this all alone while needing bedrest. I really hope u can find someone to come help. Xoxo

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Check n see if church can help you. Call salvation army

Everyone deserves help and you need to
Contact a church or local organization and ask for the help you need

Jesus I pray for this tired worn out mamma. You have gifted her with these beautiful children and you love her. She needs you right now more than ever. Please send someone to help her out and show her love and kindness. In Jesus name!

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You have options. Abortion is your choice and idk how for along you are, but depending on that, it might be something to consider for your sake.
You are doing so much already and it is not a selfish choice. You have other children and you’re bettering your own life for them and yourself.

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I would reach out to any family you do have. I know you said they’re unsupportive but you’d be surprised sometimes they act that way because of the person you choose to share your life with. (Not saying thats the case) but youd be surprised which ones will actually help.

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There are autism support groups that you definitely should be a part of. They are like family & help in any way they can. Also, ask your doctor about home Healthcare or something like it. They have people that will come & sit w/ you or help w/ house duties. Most of the time it’s old people, but I’ve seen young, handicapped people have it too. They come & help with whatever u need & it might even be covered by your insurance considering it’s absolutely necessary.

Can anyone share what state you are in? I think you could find a lot of local support. I wish more than anything I could help you :sob:

Where are you located? Maybe I can offer some help.

Where are you located? Maybe in my group can offer some help. :blue_heart: For The Love Of Autism :blue_heart:

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Honestly wish I could help you, my inbox is open so dont be afraid to message xx

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Your doctor should be able to point you to local resources. If you’re anywhere near me I’d definitely be willing to help! I’m homeschooling mine as well, send yours on over!

Bless u. In my prayers

In the meantime, I will pray.

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Prayers. Hold ur head up

Hugs and prayers! :heart:

Prayers for you!! Apply for all assistance possible

Take a deep breath. Life is going to work itself out. Take a month break from homeschooling and move it to the end of your year. I’m praying for you sister. You can get through this. You have to be strong enough to rest. To let some things go to keep your health and your babies. Teach from the couch if you need to. Your in my prayers

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Dont listen to these bitter witches on here. Dont let them get to you. You can’t help the fact your man became a wimp. You aren’t to blame. :heart:

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Call jobs and family services in your area. They should have resources or help they can point you to for childcare. Also ask your community about community programs. I ask around in my community on FB all the time and if there isn’t a program there is always a good person willing to help. I’ve made life long friends and allies this way in addition to becoming an active and respected community member. Good luck momma bear. :purple_heart:

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You could see if you qualify for a home aide through insurance. Is sending kids back to physical school an option where you live?

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I was at the same situation when I was pregnant 17 years ago. Bed rest with a 3 year old was hard and being pregnant. But trust me you need to get rest and some how find help with the other kids even if it’s a couples of hours so you can rest. I didnt and it put stress on my son and he didnt make it. I didnt have help or support either. I learned the hard way. You can always message me if you want

where are you at thank you thank you

Wow at some of these comments! Do ya’ll seriously believe that she just went out one night and got pregnant? Men do leave you know! Some as soon as you say I’m pregnant you never hear from them again. Keep your ugly comments to yourself unless you know her story!! Ya’ll are bitter!
I honestly don’t know what to tell you other than getting food stamps, WIC. As far as help in the home with your children im at a loss. Maybe talk with your health insurance provider and maybe they can pay for someone to come. Good luck and stay strong. Always be positive.

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Dm me if you need to talk. Also go to your local shelter! THEY WILL HELP YOU. I know that’s the last place you’d wanna take your babies but they do have a wonderful assistance program for mother’s. Go to your local church and ask for help too on guidance, God never fails! :heartpulse: Prayers…

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If i were this physically ill and had three others and was only 7 weeks i would probably seek an abortion or think of finding a couple that will adopt but will help you finacially through the pregnancy. By the way group memebers miss me with all your opinions on abortion. Im not necessarily pro abortion but in this situation i could see it.

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File for fmla and short term disability.

Contact the family resource center in laconia

I’m so sorry, but with 3 children that aren’t old enough to care for themselves yet and your life and health at risk, maybe look into an abortion. I’m sure you’d never dream of getting one but it seems you might not have a safer option given that your life is on the line.

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Call your local community action if you have one… they may be able to help with childcare and ot resources that helpI. Also see if you qualify for disability and a health aid until you have the baby. I will be praying for your little family. I am so sorry you are going through this :cry: take it one day at a time. I hope things start to look up for you.

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Get the fuck over it. Even in relationships we don’t get any help :woozy_face:

Sounds like you can’t handle being a mother anyways. Moms DONT get sick days. Moms DONT get bed rest

I haven’t slept since Friday. I haven’t eaten since Saturday. Moms dont matter, get the fuck over yourself and go clean.

Sending you prayers and good vibes whoever you may be.

You are stronger than you know for still continuing to try your best to push through. Ignore some of these ignorant comments on here.

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Talk to your doctor & DHS office. Maybe you’ll qualify for temporary disability. I’ve known people who have gotten caregivers paid for by the state. Maybe they can get someone to clean your home & help with the kids. If you’re only 7 weeks though I would consider abortion. It’s going to be a rough pregnancy which will cause your existing children to be neglected.

I will not argue abortion. If you’re truly pro-life then the quality of her children’s lives would matter to you. Don’t be trying to shove your messed up logic & beliefs to me. I believe life matters. Children should not suffer for a clump of cells. She should not be taking the risk of leaving her children without their mother for your beliefs.

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You are strong momma. Whatever happens, happens. Just try to take it easy while you can but I know not everyone is able to take it super easy with 3 kids. Maybe make super big meals and let the kids eat leftovers for meals? Give the kids more chores so housework is not too much on you? I pray that you and your sweet baby stay healthy :two_hearts:
I will suggest too not to do anything that you will regret. Try not to make any rash decisions. I know it’s hard with the pregnancy hormones and stuff, but don’t do anything you know you’ll regret for the rest of your life.

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