I am a step mom who feels like an on call babysitter...advice?

So I need some step mom guidance My bonus child’s mother is very stingy with adding time to our set schedule of how often she stays with us yet she is always expecting us to keep her when it’s convenient I hate to tell her no and miss out on time with my bonus child but at the same time I’m starting to feel like an on call babysitter


First things first… you are NOT a babysitter to your own child. And yes, she is your child. You married her father and she is a part of the package deal. If you and her father don’t have her full time, you should take advantage of all the extra time you can get with her.

If it’s that serious though, take the mom back to court and have visitation modified so that you have more set time with her and then tell the mom no.


Pick your battles. She may be treating you as a babysitter but take it for the extra time with the child.

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How does your spouse feel about it? You know, the child’s other parent. I only ask, because there are tons of non-custodial parents who would jump at the chance to “babysit” their own children. You say that she’s stingy with your time with the child, but then complain about being asked to take her. Maybe be proactive about getting a better custody agreement. Log all of the conversations when you’re asked to take the child, as well as the hours you have her. Take that to court and negotiate a more structured and fair custody agreement. There could be a few reasons she relies on you guys to take her.

  1. It could be written in their custody agreement that she ask the non-custodial parent first.
  2. She doesn’t trust others as much
  3. She’s exhausted all other options. Or
  4. The child asks to go with you.
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What matters is time you spend with the child. Take it whenever you can, it will always do good for your relationship.

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Check your custody papers. If could be written in that she has to ask dad before getting another sitter. If that the case then I’m not sure what you can do other than tell her no.


I need more information … is she calling when you have plans to come get her? Is she showing up late without calling? Is she asking you to come get her on a non scheduled day last minute?

I’d tell her u guys can’t and would be nice if other than when u have plans we can have time w her whenever we want to. Speak up

I hate that, my step kids bio mom drop off kids early when she has something going on but when we asked the same favor we get shut down pretty quick. Only works when it’s convenient for her and her schedule. Your husband need to grow some :soccer:s and put a stop to it. We don’t mind the extra time but when we ask for a favor. Oh no, we are so selfish and not inconsiderate of her time and schedule.

Stay in your lane n let the father handle his battles

She’s literally trying to control the whole situation…if she’s picky with court set times but calls when she needs you and expects you to do it then take her back to court and let this be known