You are the child’s aunt? What else do you want to be called?
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They lady is only thinking like a 13 year old!! Does it really matter that much?
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I think ur the one with the issue and yes ur the aunt …the child deserves to know the truth
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You’re not the child’s mother even though you took on that role. The child can choose to call you mom if they wish but you need to understand that regardless of adopting this baby they do have a real mother.
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It’s very hard but I think in the end I would have to compromise somehow. If she is disabled and not capable of actually caring for the child then taking that title away from her really isn’t going to do anyone any good. Regardless of what you want, if she’s going to be in the baby’s life she’s always going to be mommy. You are the Aunt. No matter how it swings. Maybe come up with a cute nickname for yourself.
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Anyone can be a Mother but the title of Mom or Mommy is earned by putting in the time, energy and resources to raise the child. You need to tell your SIL that she is his Mother only and that you are Mommy. However there is nothing wrong with him calling y’all by Mom and Aunt. I was raised by my grandmother from birth. I always called her Granny and my mom was Mom even though we never lived together and she didn’t raise me. The relationship with my mom is more of a sister relationship but it worked for all of us.
It be some crazy ass people on the Internet. I went to jail for two years when my son was 6 months old. Had a driving accident and ran because I was scared…I messed up BIG TIME!!
I had a family member that I hadnt seen or spoken to in over a decade offer to keep my son…I didn’t really know him OR his wife…I had never met or spoken to her either… But they are rich and could afford to assist me…
They raised my son from an age where he wouldn’t even remember me anymore… But do you think that she disrespected me like that???
NO, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO…FOR WHAT REASON…OR FROM WHAT AGE… YOU ARE NOT HIS MOM!!! PERIOD!!
You tell them damn kids the TRUTH from the beginning and let him choose if he wants to call you “mom” when he gets older.
You don’t do no shit like that!!
Who the fuck do you think YOU are???
If you’re “helping” , then help… You’re overstepping your boundaries while sitting around on your high horse.
Don’t you know that when that child gets older… ALL HE’S GOING TO WANT IS HIS MOTHER!!!
NOT YOU!!
He might even resent you for not being honest…
I don’t care what his mom is going through right now… If she gets him back tomorrow… YOU’LL BE the one who messed his head up with your desperate need for RECOGNITION and to FEEL SUPERIOR to another woman…I wish another family member could’ve helped… You sound like a “KAREN”… ONCE AGAIN STICKING YOUR NOSE WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG!!
You should be ashamed of yourself!!
You can adopt your nephew and still be an aunt. Stop being so narcissistic.
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That’s a hard one should be calling you mom since you are adopting him but had for her to know that with her disability what does he call your husband you should talk to him how you want to handle it with her
No I don’t think so . Maybe call one mom and one mommy . Because he yours now
I would have everyone refer to you as whatever the CHILD is comfortable with calling you. 
Depending on their age, I would explain the situation to the child, and ask them what they’d like to call you, and inform them that you’re open to changing it as things progress. You shouldn’t force or demand the adopted child call you whatever YOU would like to called. At the end of the day, their bio mom will always be their mom. That doesn’t mean they cant have two. 
I’m adopted. When I met my biological mother I would call her Mom and my adoptive mother Mom. It meant a lot to them both to be called Mom. And they were both my Moms. I know they both loved me. They both deserved to be called Mom. My bio Mom passed away. I’m lucky to have had two Moms. I think you can share the title. It doesn’t take away from either of you. Your both Moms in different ways. In an open adoption I feel kids are lucky to have both Moms in whatever capacity. As long as it’s healthy. The more love a kid has the better. 
I think this is something you should take up with a family therapist, which you’re going to need anyway.