I am not a Mom obviously but have been in a mentally abusive marraige for the past 7 months we have a babygirl together who is everything to me I don’t want to get a divorce because I don’t want my babygirl to grow up without me being around I mean I’ll have visitation but that’s not like having your daughter grow up under the same roof her family is way too involved in our lives instead she makes them so every minute detail of our existence is taken back to her family and then they fill her head with a lot of unnecessary things which in turn I am blamed for she says I’m not a good husband and don’t provide for her and our babygirl which is a lie because she does not work I manage the household with my paycheck but it never seems to be enough I agree we may have it a little tough towards the end of each month but the basics are always never compromised she took my babygirl away from me made an entry in the police station and has been with her family since I have not seen my babygirl for 3 weeks now she just closed 4 months I went to the cops but since she is still so small she will not be seprated from her mother I tried to reconcile but she is adamant about me not being a proper husband and now even says I’m a bad father I can’t understand why because I am the one taking care of everything because she does not work she can’t do everything for our babygirl on her own appearance, but that too is a lie because I have helped her all along and even cook for her somtimes I clean the house and help with our babygirl too what more can I do to be a better husband and father?? This is a very short summary of all the mental abuse most of it not captured here, but any advice is really appreciated thank you and God bless you
Staying together for the sake of the kids is the worst thing for the kids. Plus if they stick around they’ll grow up thinking they should be treated, or treating people the same way. If you want to do something good for the baby, leave.
Sometimes people can just be this way. Even if you’re not doing anything wrong. To me it sounds like you’ve done everything you can do to be a good husband and sometimes that’s not good enough to some people. And that’s okay. At this point just try to be the best father, even if your marriage isn’t working out. The kids should always come first!
Go see a lawyer Dad, you have rights too! Start a paper trail of every time you try to make attempts to see your child, if you give her any money or anything keep receipts. Sounds like you have a fight on your hands. Good luck, and stay strong, but be smart about it all and see a lawyer.
Are you crazy? You would rather your child grow up in a dysfunctional home then one with sanity? Try reevaluating your priorities lady
Dads have rights, no doubt about that. Exercise those rights. Good luck and so sorry she’s like this. the child is the one who will suffer the most.
You can go to a lawyer and get custody sorted with visitation and child support, along with a divorce started. This is disgusting. I HATE parents using their children as pawns. Absolutely HATE it!!! The baby may not be separated for weeks at a time, but you would certainly get visitation.
Divorcing nowadays doesnot mean your child will be without you. You can fight for her, and you should. But you should not be miserable just because you think you wont be allowed in her life if you divorce her mom. Your daughter should not see her abusing you either. I know itll be hard, but i think you’re strong enough to do it. I wish you the absolute best of luck!!
How are you not a mom yet say you share a child together
Take it to court! Establish actual paternity that’s your baby too fight for her!
I would contact a lawyer and go to court for rights. Staying together for the kids is not the answer. It will hurt her more in the long run if you do.
I would go to a lawyer, seek visitation and when older try to get custody. Some people are just like that and honestly you want to raise your daughter knowing that mental abuse is not a form of love.
Try counseling if that dont work not sure what but sounds to me that youre trying to be a good Dad and Hubby take it to court make sure child is really yours and go from there good luck kiddo
You have rights. You will be ok. Seek resources. Good luck to you. Document everything as well.
Why did she go to the police station?
What’s so good about sometimes cleaning the house and helping with the baby? Thats your job, right?
Definitely go to court. Now if your wife is still breastfeeding the baby you may not get overnights with her.
It definitely sounds like a toxic marriage, and for the sake of your daughter it’s better for you both to not be together.
If she doesn’t work she needs to be cleaning that house!! I stay at home with my daughter and don’t ask my husband to do any cleaning except outside stuff!! She sounds very selfish and like she wants to be spoiled!! Like you don’t make enough money if you make enough to support your family and give them everything they need everything else is want!!
Staying in a bad marriage is not a good thing for children. If the problem is your spouse, collect your proof and go for custody
Take her to court for custody she obviously doesn’t need the child since u do all the cleaning n bills etc n u need a divorce u don’t deserve to be treated like that by her or ur family she sounds like a bit**.
Dads have rights now more then ever…you have a right to have the baby in your care as much as she does…see a Attorney for a free console…then at least you have a record of what shes doing…otherwise she might start telling lies on you about being a abusive and stuff…keep record of all things you pay and when you try to see daughter…so she wont say you abandoned daughter…
Get yourself the best attorney that you can afford and fight for your rights.
Being in a home with hostility is a whole lot worse
That sucks it is not good for the child to see you unhappy, I wish my kids daddy would do his part ATLEASt… he’s doing okay rn but I just don’t understand why I have to wanna be leaving for him to get it together… good luck, the kids will see who did what…
You have rights to that little girl just as much as she does. Make notes on every attempt you’ve made to see her…every day and time. And the response you get back from them. Write everything down. In the meantime…put a stable roof over your head. And build a solid foundation to raise your daughter…even if it’s just visitation. It all matters.
Keep record of everything you do bills and texts keep it… I think you should fight for your rights… idk the whole story but you sound like a good man she sounds like she’s selfish…
Definitely, try to get some help, my son didn’t and his gf attacked him with a broom the first time, then a knife and because she got a bruise while trying to protect himself he couldn’t see his daughter, the daughter was finally taken away from her. He fought in the court system for 8 years before he got custody of her. So please fight for your child, don’t let her get away with it. Praying for you and your daughter
Get a lawyer. Find one with free consultation, and ask for a payment plan, may not be expensive. Good luck, never give up!
I recommend you both taking parenting classes. Not because I don’t believe you are good father but to co parent if separation/divorce is what she wants she will get it. Sounds like she just wants a reason to leave if you are doing your best and she is still bashing you. A lot of unanswered questions here but I hope the best for you all.
Keep record now.and get a lawyer.
I have a few thoughts.
It’s possible she is experiencing postpartum mental health issues.
Just because you make the money doesn’t automatically make you a good spouse/father. It takes a lot more than putting money in the account to be a supportive partner.
Yes! Document EVERYTHING!!! Even if you give her cash, which I wouldn’t do, but if you do, make sure you make her sign a receipt or she don’t get the money! Keep all texts and every single interaction you have with her. You have the right to see ur daughter! She’s the one with no job and living with someone else! She can’t even take care of the baby without your help! I would go for custody! Good luck!
Go to court and get a temporary custody order so you have the baby you have rights it is not about the mom anymore if you need help with this send me a PM and l will walk you through this go to the court house as soon as you can
Ask her what she wants? And maybe if she would at all come back go to counseling seriously! But if the only reason your trying to get back with her is for your daughter don’t it will make you resentful and unhappy. See I’m not sure it’s the whole story theres always 2 sides I’m not saying that because your a guy I’m saying that because true. If she isnt working does she do anything at home? I stay home clean ,cook, laundry,appointments and other errands not because I have to I’d rather be able to spend time with my husband when hes home instead of do those things when he has off time. We still do outside stuff together like garden but it’s fun ,she should try to help the home run smoothly maybe she has depression. Really hope you see your daughter soon.
Leave…and fight for custody
Well if that’s something you really want then try and ask her to sit down with u and try to work things out. Maybe counseling.
So, we all know that filing false police reports is a crime, and especially if you went to them, you could prove what ever she filed is false? Not really sure what you are talking about but, if she took the child and is living with family and refuses to let you see the child, that is wrong. What do you think FB can do for you? We can’t make her want to be in a relationship with you, but you can take legal steps to ensure you are in your childs life?
I’m so sorry and I applaud you for coming to us all for help! I honestly would tell you to try parental counseling. You may need to go to the counselor first and tell everything and then have her come with you to the next visit. Its good documentation if courts get involved later in time. If she cant care for the child on her own and you can then they’re going to possibly give you more custody than her. I dont know the correct answer but you seem like a great dad and husband. Just to the wrong woman
Go to the court house and file for custody state you want 50/50 at least unless she can prove your an unfit parent you will most likely get it
File a petition!! ASAP!! Scare her up. Tell her you’re getting an attorney and you’ll get custody or at the least 50/50. You work she doesn’t. Document everything. Try to get her on recording mentally abusing you. And don’t give up. The courts are really becoming more on fathers sides bc they’re sick of vengeful baby mamas who use their kids as weapons.
Lawyer up. There’s such thing as parental alienation and it doesn’t matter how old the baby is. She is yours too. You both have the same rights.
Sounds like she used you. See if shell do some parenting classes if not get lawyer and file for joint custody. Document everything for court. Dont call her unless you record conversation to
Get a lawyer. Document everything. Every time you try to see your daughter, everything. Go to court and get at least 50/50 custody. Just because she is the mom does not mean she is more important than you. Fight for your daughter, not your marriage.
Dont stay in that marriage It will do more damage than good It is not right for your daughter to see what is going
Keep records of all contact with her, keep receipt of everything you pay for or give her make her sign receipt for money tell her it’s for tax purposes and go for full custody to many men wont report these things think it makes them less as a man Good luck
What was the police dept visit by her about? Get an attorney and fight for rights to see your daughter. Divorce is inevitable I think. BUT you are better off without her! 50/50 custody would be my first choice.
Walk away and get a good lawyer
I’ve seen to much of this.
You need to get a lawyer and fight to see your daughter. And she needed to work help you she has no repect for you why would you want to be in a marriage that she treats you this way. Thats not love. Your daughter will always love you its not healthy to have her in that environment…
Keep a journal. Get receipts for payments. Request a mediator.
There are three sides to every issue, his, hers and and truth. If you want this relationship get into counselling, if not together, go yourself.
A. Start keeping a journal. Write down anything that has happened in the past if you can remember the date it happened. Take screen shots of any texts and send them to an email she doesn’t know exists.
B. If you give her money for anything, do it by check only. If a bill needs paid, write her a check. So there is record of you paying for things for the baby. Only pay for things for the baby, she left the house and is no longer your concern but your child is.
C. You are going to have to get a lawyer and fight for custody, even if it is 50/50. Plenty of men have 50/50 custody.
Walk away file for divorce. Get your visitations set up… It will always be your fault in her and her families side her family needs to stay out of your marriage for one and she won’t ever see the light. Her family means more to her than you do … Take it for what it is get you an attorney and get your rights lined up and enforced
Not much will ease your pain. Im very sorry .Fight for your girl. Dont give up ever.Be the best person n Father u can. Prayers w u.
You need to at least talk to an attorney and find out your rights. Do not use the same attorney. Most have free first time.
You can get a divorce without giving up your daughter! Take her with you when you leave and file for custody right away!
Best thing you do is you and that little girl needs to get away message waiting cuz if you stay there she’s going to watch it and she’s going to figure out that’s how you want to be treated and it’s not you deserve better you need to leave
Take her to court get a good lawyer
Get proof of the abuse and use it to fight for full custody of your daughter. She nor you need to be around that.