A friend of mine grandaughter will be two this month and she doesn’t talk either she scream so loud I think she has autism she has the symptoms
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Have you checked her blood work? Vitamin D levels too. Does she get plenty of exercise, extra positive attention and a multivitamin? This would really be a great question for Dr. Becker on CBN. He’s really good. You can call and ask him questions. Google it. Hope this helps. 
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Take her to a developmental pediatrician . My son’s pediatrician kept telling me he was “fine” he was my 3rdchild, I knew something wasn’t right. I switched pediatricians, which took guts because he was on my husband’s tennis team. Lo and behold the new ped listened to us and sent him to see the Development Ped and our son was diagnosed with Autism. Once diagnosed we could have him start early intervention therapies. Hopefully it’s nothing but best to make sure with a qualified second opinion! Good luck
New doctor is a must. I’d have her evaluated for autism. These uncontrollable tantrums happen a lot when a child on the spectrum gets over stimulated.
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Request an eval with ocupational therapist. My son di this exact thing. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. My husband and I started taking Love and Logic classes. We implemented a strict schedule, and were consistent with expectations & used Love and Logic for discipline. There was an immediate change.
I would video the meltdowns so you can let the doctor see and experience exactly what you are. Sometimes doctors tend to pass it off they did that to me and then when I took a video of my daughter doing what I was concerned with all of sudden it was a big concern to the doctor. Just a thought or idea
I would get another doctors opinion she could just have a hard time expressing herself my kids are the same they think they may have adhd but a lot of speech therapy and behaviour therapy has made a huge difference I have 2 like this 3 and 4 it’s hard hang in there but try and puch to get ot and speech therapy ASAP
She sounds like how my grandson was at 5 he was diagnosed with autism does she walk on her tip toes does she clap using her palms does she self isolate does she have anger issues that come out of nowhere
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Sounds exactly like my 6 year old granddaughter. She was doing all those things at that age too. We had her tested by a Child psychiatrist (only ones to ready find the problem) we are waiting for the report. ADHD runs in her family. Regular Doctors don’t know how to find the cause of their actions. It is expensive but worth it for the child’s sake.
The tantrums can because she behind in speech and don’t have a healthy way to express herself so you be shock how much speech can help … you can tell the doctor you want her have evolvation done by a speech specialist… they can truly tell you if you over reacting …
Sounds just like my Granddaughter at that age. She was eventually diagnosed with Autism Spectrum disorder. Meltdowns were a common occurrence for her until they tried a gluten free diet. That helped a lot. Meltdowns were fewer and less severe.
Try another doctor or a child psychologist. There may be tests that need to be done to find out if she is in pain. A grandchild of mine has neurological issue a d has meds, but the psychologist has been of great help!
Our granddaughter had similar issues & behavior. Come to find out due to enlarged adenoids & extra tissue in the back of her throat she was experiencing sleep apnea so the behavior was caused by extreme lack of sleep & oxygen to her brain!
I would make an appointment with a psychologist. She could be experiencing anxiety or some other issues that a normal dr wouldn’t notice and need some extra therapy… my daughter would do that and I didn’t realize what was going on til she started school she’s now six turns out she has anxiety and adhd
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Try keeping a journal to see if you can find out what sets it off. If it is frustration. Being overly tired. Hungry? Is she trying to communicate and you just are not understanding. All of these thing can lead to a melt down. Once she has started she doesn’t know how to stop. My son had melt downs like that. You can try moving her to a quiet place and staying with her. Trying to talk softly to her. But I think what is important is to try and find out what leads up to it. You might find out that this is just a 3 year old phase. Good luck! Hope you find something that helps you and her!
My son had similar issues around the same age. Turns out he was diagnosed with ADHD, Tourette’s ( has ticks and weird noises), and Aspergers. This definitely came from the Aspergers. Please get other Dr opinions. Possibly look for one with Autism spectrum specialist.
Oh my goodness you just describe my 12-year-old to a T. We just recently started trying to get help with her because I felt she needed help at school, and they wouldn’t even test her for a learning disability and said that everything that we were describing shows that she’s on the autistic spectrum. I so wish we would’ve started earlier, We are grandparents raising our grandchildren… It seems the older she gets the worse she gets, and I feel horrible that we didn’t start earlier. But we honestly didn’t know. So let the testing begin, starts this week… she has already been diagnosed with sensory issues, and not being able to express herself verbally, that’s where the anger comes in.
Take her to a neurodevelopmental pediatrician. It sounds very much like she could be on the autism spectrum. There are plenty of services to help if she is. Early intervention is key
I would have her evaluated by a social worker . Speech is def an indicator that there may be other difficulties . They can do a full eval , speech , cognitive , behavior etc and they will then make recommendations . You know your child best , follow your instinct.
My oldest son does this, the biggest factor we believed was the speech delay because he couldn’t effectively communicate and it’s very frustrating. Seek occupational therapy and speech therapy.
Each kiddo is different as we are also working on an Autism Eval for my kiddo, and he literally just started talking a couple months ago, still a little choppy but everyone can understand 90% of what’s being said, after two years of Speech and Occupational therapy.
Also seek a second opinion. You know you’re kiddo, and she will definitely teach you new things but still needs to be within limits.
First start with her speech. My now 15 year old was the same. Potty training was easy. Her regression on potty training isn’t something to worry about right now as a lot of kids her age do the potty strike. Just keep training. Her speech is a big issue. Just imagine if you couldn’t verbalize yourself how angry you’d be… now put yourself in her shoes as a 3 year old. She’s still learning her emotions and her problems in speech are leaving her frustrated, feeling alone and unable to communicate. Tell the doctor to give a referral for speech and she needs a hearing test. I was able to get my daughter into early intervention through our public school system and she just graduated out of speech class fall of 2019 which was her freshman year of high school. Once she started speech and was able to communicate better her tantrums stopped completely. She became more vocal and now she’s using that against me in these teenage years 
. Don’t jump to it’s a behavior problem especially when you know she has a delay in speech. Good luck and God bless.
I had the same problem with one of my children . When she throws a tantrum walk away ignore her. She wants your attention but in the wrong way. After a few times of me not giving in and walking away praise the Lord above.
Definitely sounds like ASD. Our former pediatrician said it was just a phase but I knew otherwise. Went above her head and found a specialist for my now 17 yr old son and changed pediatricians. Early intervention and other services have been a life saver. Don’t wait, act now! Good luck!!
See if you can get an apt with a neurologist, if nothing else it’ll release the stress! We have a daughter who was like this,Back then they called it " strong willed" said shed grow out of it/ ha nope , but good news is she’s married with a child like she was , she is now in her 40s, and yes KEEP trying to find a doctor who will listen , they’re out there, God give you all the help u need
First , get a new Doctor!!Second check her for things like autism and other things that she could have!!! If all that is normal then start getting tough and discipline her!!!
Retired educator’s opinion…Go you your child’s school and have her evaluated for special education services. Ask for speech as well as evals for AU and cognitive disabilities. Don’t let them convince you to just wait until she gets to school! Once the evals are completed, a meeting is set up and the evals will be reviewed and determined if there is a disability. If there is, an IEP will be developed and appropriate services can be provided. PM me if you want any additional advice.
Please get her checked the sooner the better I have a grandson who was autistic and still is there is a lot they can do now my grandson is 33 early intervention is the key if need be change doctors but find someone who understands if you have to call a specialist and find out where to start maybe knights of columbus can help good luck
I would evaluate for autism. Your story sounds way too familiar. The speech delay the meltdowns and the potty regression. Does she line things up or do repetitive motions? Some kids hand flap mine does a pacey thing but it is different in all kids
May be autistic that also may be spoiled. When she starts throwing a tantrum walk out of the room or the house and totally ignore her . And definitely change doctors.
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consult and take her to a,special needs psychologists. You can google to find one or go to a large medical center if you have one near you. this is definitely a behavioral problem, and her brain is not controlled. you also parobably need to seek out a,parent support system…good luck and prayers
Video tape her for the pediatrician. Also call a therapy place n tell them your concerns and have her evaluated.
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Please, if you can, change doctors. This sounds like our great- grandson who is autistic. With help he is much, much better!
She is clearly attempting to tell you something. Please take the time to observe and listen. Then you can start to set appropriate measures for tantrums. When you have her attention and both are calm ask her how she feels when she is upset, angry, frustrated, hurt, scared, etc. Learning and hearing her feelings help you both understand and can help de-escalate the event. It also teaches her to use her words instead of screaming. In the off chance something (or someone) has hurt her now is the time for trust to be enforced by you by letting her know she has your protection whatever the situation.
Part of it very well may be, because she is behind on speech and is frustrated that she cannot communicate what she is feeling! Because there are bigger kids in the house, I would worry that some tormenting could be going on behind your back. (As the youngest of 9 I say this boldly)- if your pediatrician isn’t helpful, change doctors!
Sounds like Autism. My grandson has it. There is so much of it these days most real Doctors can spot it right away. Good luck.
Get a second opiny from another pediatrician … if your pediatrician is not concern with you concerns then you need a new one … I having the same behavioral issues with my 6 year … we are being sent to specialist but she has been in speech since she was 3 and OT since little after starting speech to help her after years of observation she being sent to specialist too so they will be able to give us better out look bc she is so orderline bc she is severe adhd …
My niece is autistic and has these trates. I had her for 4 days last week and that was the most I’ve ever been challenged! I’d have to be seen by a behavioral specialist
Get her tested for speech delay and Apraxia she is frustrated because she knows what she wants to say but can’t communicate. Good luck and find another doctor
Children with dpeach delsys feel very frustrated with their inability to express themselves and often tantrum. Haveyour child evaluated by a pediatric speech therapist. This worked eonders for my speech delayed don.
I would also consider a behavioral psychologist or center that works with behavioral problems with young children. Most doctors are not trained in behavior, just in physical health. (they have some training, but not enough.) Your daughter may be fine, but only if this goes away within a few months. I would agree to have her checked out for Autism spectrum disorder. (ASD)
Our Dr told us to put my tantrum kid in the shower fully clothed and turn on the cold water. Hold them there until they stop. Typically it stopped in seconds and we only had to do it twice. End of tantrums.
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Change doctors now, hearing issues can result in speech delay and frustration. Sounds similar to my niece and the biggest issue contributing is her hearing. Sadly it’s taken until she was 8 and just got done. Imagine a world of muffled noise and never truly understanding what’s going on around you. May you find answers and don’t let doctors tell you nothing is wrong. The hearing test was a 3hr ordeal.
Please listen to your child and see another doctor. Your child is showing you all sorts of signs, that something is wrong, go to other doctors as many of the other comments have said to have her thoroughly tested so she can get the help she needs now rather than wait.
If the potty issue started when her step sibling came, when did the behavior issues start? Was it at the same time? Did something happen during this time that has her scared of going to bed or the bathroom? She needs t know she is safe at home. When in doubt you know your kid the best and need to advocate for his/her needs. Search out other pediatricians and document her behavior prior to going by video and writing it down. And remember she feels your anxiety over it and kids feed off our feelings and emotions.
This sounds like my granddaughter. She started this behaviour at 3 as well. Today she’s 7 and STILL acts this way. And like you said once she goes off there’s no reeling her in. During an outpatient procedure last year (where it took 3 of us to re-dress her!) The doctor said to have her tested because it was his guess she’d fall somewhere on the spectrum. I’ve been battling the insurance with this matter ever since. I’d continue seeking a doctor that will help you find a specialist. Good luck!
Sounds like my daughter. Hours long tantrums. She is on the autism spectrum but that is not the end of the world. My daughter is now 24 and has made huge accomplishments she bought a house at 23 is raising a son and is an excellent mother.
Mine was just like that…she was diagnosed with adhd at 6 and at 3 we saw those signs and no one listened until her teacher mentioned it to me…i went to the doctor and told him the teacher agrees with me and then he finally helped us. We still struggle at times but its easier now. Shes 8
Talk with a school social worker to see if they have any ideas of where to take her. If they can evaluate her at the school then you can get help much faster since her dr isn’t helping you. If you know someone in social work or behavior or psychology they can advise you also.
I don’t want to say this and have you panic, but I would maybe consult a child psychiatrist- when children have changes in potty behavior or have a very specific time that causes a lot of anxiety (such as going to bed) its always a good idea to investigate whether there may be some sexual abuse. I don’t know anything about your family or who watches her or who comes and goes- so it could completely be a non-issue, so please don’t take it the wrong way, but when I see patients who are experiencing these types of symptoms it is one on many things to consider- but please remember it is one of MANY things to consider
That is exactly what my middle son did. And he was behind on speech as well. We struggled with his behavior until he was 16 and had to get the youth authorities involved. It’s too long of a story to tell here but I can tell you what I would do different had I known when he was little that he had mental health concerns. His frontal lobe doesn’t function the same as ours. We have had a few different diagnoses over the years but that was the final one and the one that is correct. We tried to get him mental health services around 13 yrs old but by then he wasn’t cooperating and even just finding services were impossible. I strongly suggest you fight like a mad woman to get her the best psychiatrist you can find. Services are e extremely limited but the sooner you do it the easier her life and your family’s lives will be. I have two other boys as well and we have all had ptsd from trying to support their brother. It’s heart breaking to watch your child suffer and not know how to help them. He couldn’t explain to us what he was feeling. And it just got worse every year. They probably won’t diagnose her with anything specific at such a young age but they can help with therapy for her and you. And maybe even meds whwn she’s older. And always remind yourself that you are not alone. We felt so alone thru it all because none of our friends could truly understand what we were going thru. They tried to be supportive but unless you have lived thru that you can’t understand what it does to you. I pray that you and your family can get the help that you need. 
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First off your doctor is useless & clearly doesn’t give a damn about his/her patients. This is a blanket response from him/her. You seriously need to find your daughter a pediatrician who specializes in child behavior to get your daughter the help she soo desperately needs (& so do your husband & you for that matter.
Good luck!
Try the birth to five programs they did wonders on my 5 year old who is now talking better and not throwing temper tantrums. Putting her in a program also for like pre k would work also cause it helps her make new friends her age group. My husband has 2 kids before me and i had 1 before him they are all grown except the youngest. I would also ask for a new pediatrician cause some do care. My pediatrician did all of this for me cause my youngest was doing the same thing where she wouldn’t talk at all. Birth to five programs should be through the public school system in your area. Then if you can get her to go potty again put her in the public schools for pre k they will know what to do after that
I see alot of recommendations about autism. Diagnosis is good but only if you follow through on the treatment plan. Autistic or not, based on what youve said, child may be stressed. Doesn’t matter why or about what except for avoiding triggers. A few things you can do, state clear matter of fact expectations beforehand. For example an hour before bed, state the time, how long vefore you start the bedtime routine, what it will look like. Then follow that plan. For example…its 7pm i want to remind you that bed is at 8pm so at 730 we will be brushing our teeth and putting on pajamas. Then we will read green eggs and ham and have a cup of water. Then we will be laying in bed and it will be quiet time. At this point set an alarm on your phone and at 730, get out pajamas and go prepare tooth brushing routine and grab the book. Follow through. This seems silly but can be very soothing to an overstimulated individual and will allow them to soothe easier. Just an idea from a mom who has been there.
I would get a second opinion, mood disorder could be it my son was somewhat like that but actually found out it was behavioral definance disorder we a specialist for children
As an educator, Yes find an early intervention agency . They will look at all areas of the childs needs. Speech, emotional, cognitive. Then you will no what to do next.
My 2 1/2 year old granddaughter has tantrums. But she is spoiled rotten. The baby in the house and she hates/loves the word no. Consistency is key. Discipline is just as important as love! Just my 2 cents!
There is no harm on going to a different doctor and getting others opinion. Sometimes it’s the only thing to do. My advice find a different that will listen to you and always remember to follow your gut and what it is. Its telling you this isn’t right or normal and something’s wrong.
I threw fits like that as a child, so did my daughter. We have bipolar disorder. I’d guess she’s super overwhelmed and has no idea how to calm herself down.
My son had about the same behaviors, he is on the high functioning end of asd with adhd. I hope this helps
I have 5 children and my 4th was behind in speech also. I knew that by having older children that would at least some words. My son didn’t have the temper tantrums would would get frustrated because we didn’t know what he wanted. My pediatrician said the same thing that he wasn’t speaking because the older siblings were speaking for him. I got him evaluated through our school district and found out he has/had apraxia which is kind of like a spark between his brain and his mouth to form the words. He is a smart kid. He went to speech therapy from 3years old through 8th grade
When temper tantrum starts throw cold water in her facednot to hurt but to shock her out of it. She will do it over to see if u r going to do it ahain
Has she had any recent vaccinations? I would absolutely look into a metal detoxification if so. And really, even if not it’s a good idea to look at her diet closely. Does she eat processed foods and or color dyed often? I’m sorry you’re all going through this. Hopefully a good detox can help.
I’d video the tantrums and show the dr. If he still won’t do anything have her evaluated by a behavioral specialist. You may have to pay out of pocket but it is worth it.
I would recommend a neurologist and get her into a speech program, and don’t acknowledge her behaviors when she starts a temper tantrum send her to her room to calm down, or walk away tell her if you are going to act like that i don’t want to see it she could be doing this for attention too. My brother is autistic and my mom sends him to his room to calm down and it works or she will walk away cause my mom tells him she doesn’t want to see that behavior. And when my mom walks away he runs after her and says no straighten up lol it’s to cute. Not saying she is autistic or anything because idk only u know ur daughter but we treat my brother like any other person he doesn’t like to be treated differently hope this helps god bless.
I had one that would throw a tantrum and hold his breath until I thought he was going to die. I took him to the doctor to make sure he was ok and he told me to throw a glass of water on him only had to do it once and he never pulled that crap again.
Not trying to be mean but… How do you feel this year 2020? Any change is a big change to kids and this year all of a sudden kids can’t go to stores, parks, see family, have to wear a mask, schools stop. Parents are stressed older siblings are stressed and most kids feed off that energy. I have a lot of anxiety this year and am certain my child can sense that. Think about when they were babies did they get more fussy when someone angry or tense held them. They feel what we feel. I also talked with a psychologist about my daughter’s tantrums and this was his advice. It made it a lot easier to realize it may be connected to the chaos that they do not know how to voice. Give her time but when things finally settle if it’s still a problem see specialists and get diagnosis. For now just hold her and help her brave the storm. During a storm (if possible) ask her to go through the five senses it helps calm mine sometimes. What do you feel, see, taste, smell ,hear. One at a time. It is a anxiety tool.
First step get a new doctor. Second get her tested for Autism. I had the same issues with my son, he is also 3. He was non verbal and had terrible behavioral problems. Night time was worse. Turns out he did not have autism but was diagnosed with severe sensory disorder. It has been a year long struggle but we are making progress. During her tantrums be extra calm and soothing. Make a quite room or even a corner. Take her there during every single episode, give lots of hugs and reassurance. Offer hugs and tell her everything is okay. Luckily my state had a really good program through the department of education. Within months my son was talking and the tantrums are so much better now.
I just want to say that it could also be a sign of abuse in young children when they stop going potty, that would be a huge red flag. Watch your older children with her.
Sounds like my son who needed speech therapy because he couldn’t verbalize what he needed or wanted. He would hurt himself with these tantrums, please get her evaluated ASAP for speech therapy.
Sensory issues. She cannot help it. She will probably out grow it. Stay very calm with her. My daughter used to throw herself on the floor…spin around…scream…for 15 minutes! Then fall asleep. Turned out she was so frustrated with school. She did this for months. Then she stopped! She turned out fine. But she still does not like busy noisy places.
You need to find a pediatrician that will listen to you.
My daughter was born blind but her first doctor did not catch it. My husband and I noticed she wouldn’t make eye contact. At about 4 months we told the doctor and she simply said “oh, well you’re right she isn’t focusing. I changed pediatricians and he had her in for tests that night. Find a new doc. If for nothing else a second opinion and to ease your mind
Have done a functional/developmental vision test. My son suffered migraines because his eye muscles were weak and not tracking together and at that age they can’t articulate how they feel. The migrains affected his speech
Have you had her hearing checked thoroughly. If she can’t hear properly her speech will be poor. Then communications are poor. Is she frightened of something at bedtime? Leave light on door open perhaps. Don’t leave this. See alternative doctor or ask to be referred to hospital for checks before she injured herself.
Wow sounds very intense I would look into possible Oppositional Defiance Disorder with the behaviors being described. However, I agree first try talking and seeing if she is wanting something as others have suggested I am a preschool teach and see this often as I work with 3 year olds. Many of them just want to be independent and with older siblings she may be feeling left out, make special times to do what she wants it makes a big difference when you show them you’re listening. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to get her eyes checked at some point if you haven’t, as my sister had late speech development due to not being able to see well. Hearing check would be good too.
I don’t think she needs a doctor or a diagnosis, She has figured out a way to wear you down and she has mastered it. Time to take back control of your home. Try packing up EVERYTHING she has except bare necessities, pack away all her toys , favorite clothes, anything she enjoys when she starts behaving this way and have her to earn them back one item at a time. When she acts out again pack it back away. IT WORKS! Get her Little behind in gear before she reaches an age where it can’t be fixed. This is not going to be a quick fix. Remember: spare the rod spoil the child.
I would suggest videoing some of these tantrums And show them to the doctor so he can see for his or her self good luck to you stand your ground stay strong you got this
I would find another pediactrician.My daughter used to have melt downs like that last for hrs. Inconsolable.She was diagnosed with High functioning Autism
Change doctors. If she has only started this not long something is going on.
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My 4 year old son has some of the same issues. I believe my child is autistic. My 17 year old is autistic and the signs are the same. I would definitely change doctors or tell your current doctor that you want a referral to a specialist for autism. I wish you much luck. Hopefully you can find something out.
My son had tantrums at that age until we got him speech therapy over his doctor’s objection. Him being able to explain how he felt, what he needed helped alot
Make sure may need second opinion that all is medically ok. Then if all is well ignore her when she throws a fit as long as she isn’t hurting herself or someone else
Sounds like she might be a little hearing impaired if she can’t hear then she can’t talk to express herself maby just have to check her ears
I know every child is different but at 4 yrs old my son was talking perfectly and suddenly developed a stutter so bad he stopped talking and starting throwing fits we got him into speech therapy and took awhile but tantrums were definitely speech related . today he is 9 no more issued for sometime now don’t be afraid to switch doctors or push the subject best of luck to you 
She’s 3. My grandson did the same thing at 3. Use to be terrible 2s now they changed it to challenging 3s. Hang in there she will flip the switch about the time she just about to become 4.
Change doc… My daughter was diagnosed with austism. Same behavior you said because she can’t talk to express herself they gets really mad… She went through therapy and talks… You could try melatonin for kids and chamomile to calm her at bedtime
Call your school board and request testing through early childhood intervention. A speech delay can cause behavior problems as the child is frustrated in not being able to communicate. There are many things that can cause behavior problems. Follow your mommy instinct. You don’t need your physicians permission to have your child tested. If a problem is discovered the schools can start speech and behavioral therapy. It’s a free service.
Make sure she can’t hurt herself and walk off. If she doesn’t have an audience it’s non effective.
What usually starts the tantrums? If it her not wanting to do something, or is it her wanting something you told her no? My parents had the rule no meant no…and the stuck to that my whole life, from baby up. If you make a rule, like bed time for example, stick with . If you allowed her her do something or have something and then suddenly are telling her no that would be the problem. You can’t allow something even once and then say no later. Also, what are you doing during the tantrum? When a child starts the best thing to do is WALK AWAY. walk out of direct line of sight, not too far that you can’t still make sure she doesn’t get hurt or something… but IGNORE HER. The tantrum will stop. Children throw tantrums best they want something or don’t want do something and they think throwing a fit will get them a ‘yes’ answer instead of the ‘no’ . You can’t give in. Children go through stages and starting to throw tantrums is one of them. If you follow these rules above and they continue, or other behaviours come up then you may need to seek further doctors for evaluation for autism , or other problems…
Change doctors. A doctor that doesn’t at least address your concerns as a parent does not deserve your business
I’d say talk to a therapist but from what im understanding ur kid doesn’t talk. Definitely talk to another doctor
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I’m curious, does she throw the tantrums when she doesn’t get her way? Or are they just out of the blue?
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The huge difference in age may play a part in her acting out and the tantrums. Is she included in activities that they do that is also appropriate for her to do also. Is she getting the love and attention she needs at her age?
Sounds like my son. He has adhd and odd…he had blind rage tantrums at that age…
First thing I’d do is change Dr.’s. You need one that takes your concerns seriously.
A family members son was slow in the speech department. She asked the pediatrician over and over. He told her her son was fine. Finally saw another doctor, he had a problem with his hearing. An out patient surgery and he was fine. Get another opinion
Maybe a child therapist . Talk to your stepdaughter about the yelling small children do what they see. Good luck but if your worried seek help for you&your husband .
Please read or get the audible called the children of the Now by Dr. Meg blackburn Loesy . I work with kids like this and Dr.Megs book Is the first step to understanding .
Time out not working try smacking her hand. Or you could get wet towel and wash face or just ignore her. Leave the room if she follows go to different room.
I agree video tape and perhaps consider changing doctors. Children’s behaviors are a form of communication. The hard part is fuguring it out. Sometimes outside help is needed. Keep searching for answers
We had a son who held his breath till he passed out. An older sister knew every thing he wanted so he didn’t talk. When I stopped her. He learned to talk. Didn’t hold his breath anymore