My daughter is almost eight months old. We’ve had a really rough start to her first year of life. She’s had four serious surgeries, and now our life is finally starting to settle down with doctors’ visits and whatnot. Before I had my daughter, I had a really close friend who I absolutely adored and trusted. We were friends for over seven years. After I had my daughter, while my daughter was in the NICU, I confided in that friend that I was going through a hard time not only with my daughter being in the hospital but also with postpartum. I thought I could talk to her because she came to me when she had postpartum, and I did everything I could to lift her spirits (calling her every day to tell her I loved her, buying concert tickets, etc.). I was wrong. She told me to get over it and that she was a single mom who had too much on her plate to worry about what I had going on. I was crushed. We are no longer friends because she was completely insensitive and horrible to me in the end. The thing is… my eight-month-old daughter has her first name as her middle name, and every time I think of having to explain to my daughter how we came up with her name, I cringe. I feel like I made a huge mistake naming her middle name after someone who I had no idea was so heartless and cruel during a time when my daughter and I needed the love and support of a friend. I’ve thought about going to get her name changed and just giving her my first name as her middle name, but I don’t know if that’d be too confusing for others or if it’s worth it? What would you do?
If you’re going to change her name, do it now before she learns her name or starts school.
If the name is going to bother you that much change it. She’s young enough so she’ll never know
Stop being petty
You gave her the name for a reason because obviously you felt good doing so. Regardless as to how things ended up leave it alone
She’s only eight months old so I would go change it now. Easy process.
While I do understand your situation I honestly wouldn’t change it. If it would be the last name yes, but middle name no. It gets rarely used anyway. Just tell her how it is when she’s old enough to understand. Because despite you not being friends now - your friend was once close to you and things like that happen in life.
Personally I would change it immediately. Don’t wait
As someone who had their name changed because of spiteful parents …Born Brandi with no middle name changed to Stephanie Brandon over night …who did not choose right when give ONE opportunity …Do not do this. Own your story and tell her you loved your best friend for years she was an amazing woman with a strong heart but we grew apart. 🤷. Sorry but changing it will make the story even worse when she sees all her birth stuff…babybooks hospital.
Change it. She’s young. You’ll feel better and she deserves a better name. 
Do what feels right for you.
But I do agree that if you choose to keep the original name do it now as to not cause issues later. Sometime we make decisions and realize it was a bad idea. But we are able to correct them. In the end only you can decide if your gonna be ok calling your child this name… Ijs
I would go to court and have her name changed
Really not a big deal… You could just say you picked a random name you liked
Leave it and when she asks tell her you liked the name. No lie there.
Change it before she turn a year old. The process is faster and easier.
If it’s just the middle name then I say do what you feel is right. If it was her first name I’d tell you to leave it alone. At such a young age she doesn’t know her middle name so it’s up to you if you feel so strongly about a name to change it. You never have to tell her you named her after your friend. You could tell her you just liked the name. So it’s up to you. It sounds like you already made the decision but want people to agree with your decision.
You could come up with a different reason to why you chose her name. I think to change it for this reason is petty and doesn’t warrant the chang. next thing you know you’re going to make up with her and you’ve already made the change. Seems very drastic and dramatic. Not like it’s her first name… the reason behind it could be overlooked
Explain that she is named after someone who taught you a great lesson. Turn it into something positive. People come into our life’s just when we need them too. I’m a firm believer in that. Sucks the friendship didn’t last but look at the takeaway.
Knowing her name would be helpful 
Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Nothing wrong with honoring the bond that you had once upon a time.
Same exact thing happened to me had a falling out with my friend, my
Daughter is 20 and still has that “friends” 1st name as her middle name. She actually knows this “friend” as her father maintained a slight friendship with the women. My daughter knows she is named after her but it honestly is just a name, the value of of it went away when the friendship died. I actually like my daughters middle name and we have a slight running joke by calling her by a boy name that is similar to her middle name. She even has her middle name on social media as the boy name we call her, we rarely use her middle name except for official documents. I promise the hurt you feel from your “friend” will pass with time and your daughters name won’t really be associated with that after time…
I wouldn’t change it , you chose that middle name out of love sometimes people come and go in our lives and that’s ok . You did love this woman at one time , it doesn’t have to be complicated .
It’s just a name. A name that Belongs to ur DAUGHTER now. Dont be petty and change her identity over a falling out. I have 3 kids none of which have asked why I named them the names I did. But should she ask be honest. You were named after someone i knew a long time ago who was very dear to mommy at the time when you were born. You likely wont need to explain further but if you do shell more then likely be old enough to comprehended and understand. I totally get what ur feeling and the huge disappointment but it’s just a name. Give urself time to heal from that hurt and you’ll soon come to have a new appreciate for the name. 
Just do it. Move on and concentrate on being happy and healthy. No explanation needed. Do it now before it’s too late.
Oh please, you don’t have to explain why you gave her that name! This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! You are the one that needs to get over it, obviously your girlfriend already has!
If it makes you feel better, change it! No need to hold onto anything negative… let it go, pick a new middle name and smile knowing you honoured your boundaries and family 
Its just a middle name, go change it if you don’t like it.
Leave it alone and only tell her if she asks. Just tell her the woman taught you a good lesson and be done with it. No need to worry about it or even think about it. She’s 8 months old and too young to care. Also google the name and see what comes up. A country or city to visit. A flower named for it. It’s your daughters names now and you let her decide if she wants to keep it or not. Move on honey because she did. Let it go and now you know not to name children after people. Anyone can hurt you at anytime.
Enjoy life is short have fun smile
It’s just her middle name. You’ll only need to used it when she’s in trouble, and then it will fit. Nothing wrong with telling her you used to have a friend with that name, or finding inspiration in another with that name. You can’t change the past. Think of when you named your beautiful daughter. Try not to be clouded by the post-partum cloud or the fall out. She is beautiful, and her name is beautiful too. All the beauty of nature can be found in one butterfly.
Definitely change it. You’ll always be reminded of your horrible friend.
Shes onky 8 mo i say do it
Leave her name alone and forgive your friend put it in God’s hands and move on
I’d change it right away.
Omg…grow up. If you had a son and named him after his dad, but then the two of you weren’t together anymore, would you change his name too? Jesus…
My son’s middle name is just a name we liked … and that’s what we told him. You could do that which keeps it simple.
The other option is to keep it, explain the situation when it’s appropriate and say you decided to keep it as a reminder for her to always ensure she has boundaries with friends - to walk away from people who take but don’t give.
Go for it! In my culture, sometimes when a person gets sick, they change name to be a new person so that they can be well and healthy. I was very sick the first couple of months of my life and my parents gave me a new name.
Petty and useless. Are you still in high school. You were skunked. Forget it and get on with something worthwhile.
It’s a middle name. Change it and move on. Lesson learned.
She was your friend that’s all that matters. Work through your postpartum depression and maybe you will see she’s still suffering from hers.
This is the most ignorant thing ever. Leave the name, u sound like you are upset she didnt spend money and time on you? I hate to tell you, I am pretty sure You was not the one defining factor in her life, that got her thru her hard time. U did it put of love for your friend. Stop being petty, she was honest she doesnt have time. Go to a councelor, get help
You have a sad story. What is your friend’s story? Is she going through something also? Give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m not saying you need to reach out to her to help her feel better. I’m saying that you may learn something later that explains her behavior.
I would say, don’t change it. Leave your heart open to forgiveness.
Just leave as it is and go on with your life. It’s just a name, don’t waste your time with changing it,focus on what’s important like the health of your daughter and forget about it!
yes change it shes little and give her something joyful why live with something that maks u unhappy
I think admins think up these dumbass stories to give us something to talk about.
Let her keep her middle name…let her light bring a new happy feeling to that name. She isn’t your ex-friend and it’s just a name.
If it bothers you that much then change it.
I believe you two will work things out dear. Give it some time and maybe forgiveness can happen.
HONESTY is very very much a big deal to your children for the first 18 years. Those years are so important to have bonding time. Be an honest mom, because it is going to help you in the end, trust me. My mom lied to me my entire life, manipulated me, shamed me, exploited me… So coming from my experiences, keep her name, and tell your story honestly. Your daughter will appreciate you more if you did. My mother and I do not have a relationship now because she is entirely too toxic to be around. Sad part is, she used the legal system to take my son at 14 months old. My son wants to come home. She won’t let him. She’s violating his rights under his Guardianship. So yes, please, do all your mighty best to honor your daughter by telling her later on in life. I know one thing… My son is now ten years old, and I have been this way with him plus showing love and respect to him and now he doesn’t want anything to do with my mother (his grandmother). I’m sure her name is beautiful. A higher power did this for you in your gut for a reason.
Change you daughter’s middle name to yours. This is you life and your child. Name her something you both can love. Stop stressing over what other people’s opinion is. Many people change their name… many people don’t have a middle name until Confirmation or they choose a middle name themselves.
Peace
Well if u want do it now while she is young so she won’t be confused later and i believe its free up til baby a year old
Sure just do it now while she’s little so it’s easier & I think it’s a great idea
Really? Honor what was the friendship. Obviously she meant something to you in your life at one time, so remember that. Stop being petty. So what you had a falling-out with her. It happens, but she meant something to you at one time and remember that. Keep the name and honor the friendship that you once had and look at it positively. Everybody has their own shit they after going through and someone’s it’s just too much. that’s no reflection on you. It just means she’s at maximum capacity and at this moment in time she needs to step away. Not all friends can always be there for you when you need it… And why you always need to have more than one.
Sorry you’re hurt. Sorry she’s your only friend and she can’t be there for you. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you. Doesn’t mean that you should completely discard the relationship you had at one time. Doesn’t mean that your friendship can’t big night when her life has calm down as much as yours…
This is called being a grown-up. Leave the name remember the good times and be open to be killing your friendship perhaps later down the line.
80% of people are glad you have that problem remember everybody don’t have the same heart
Change the name but give her a middle name of no one you know.
Look up the meaning of the name and maybe you will like it
Sounds like you have alot to be grateful for I’d focus on that memory of a lesson learned not wasted time or regret nothing forever. N some people are made to be there n some just aren’t wouldn’t take it personal
Change it if that’s what you want momma, if it’ll make you feel better why not?
That’s silly mivenon you are being paranoid she’s not your friend kuds don’t care where there names come from enjoy your life without your friend you are over worrying get some anxiety counselling
Actually I’d Google famous people with the name and rewrite the story
Change it before she is old enough to understand it was changed. I’m in the process of getting my girls last name changed because I feel that way about their dad. Eventually I’ll get mine changed as well so they never have to be “those kids” who don’t have the same last name as mom
If you want to change it then do it. Or you could find the meaning of the name and any famous people who have it and say it came from there instead. Whatever decision you make, make sure its sorted before she starts learning her name
Legally changing a name is a legal process. It’s not cheap and it has to go through court. Really think about it.
Your the mom you can change her name if you want
Your lame so what she’s not your friend anymore it’s just a name and do you call her by her middle name get a life move on
Sounds more like you’re doing it to hurt your friend It has nothing to do with the baby or what you named the baby. Amber Dahl-Olstad is right you honored your friendship by name, it didnt work out, maybe it will later? Here’s the kicker, that’s the same for every other relationship you have in life. And what about baby’s daddy is he in the picture will you change her last name if things don’t work out between you 2 ? Again,this is life. Handling it in that manner is not the solution and it doesn’t change anything. Really work on your relationships, and how you handle problems. You tell the baby I named you after someone I really cared for once in life things don’t always work out And we had to go our separate ways.
I wouldnt do the name change. When the time comes tell her u named her after a good friend at the time. When she asks about the friend all u have to say is u had a falling out and arent friends anymore. I wouldnt trash the ex friend and give details but that is what i would do
I can’t understand the rude comments. If the name is bothering you, you have every right to change it. Your daughter is only eight months old it will not affect her whatsoever. I can understand if a name reminds you of someone and it upsets you so then go ahead and change it.
do not change her name.
Funny, how much time people have in there hands, worry about you daughter and how you going to take care her,no in stupid stuff, grow up
No. You keep her name and when your daughter asks you about it, you tell her the story. You tell her about how you LOVED this person, how they HELPED you. You also tell her how they HURT you and why. There’s strength in that truth. Evaluate it as a lesson and move on stronger. Your former friend is being selfish and she’ll realize it one day. But do not let that get to you and let you being your daughter down with you. Straighten your damn crown and be the queen you see yourself as!
My mom never saw her friend once ill.I have her middle name.My Mom was not concerned w it.
No to change, seek help with the postpartum and I hope your daughter is on the road to recovery. Use the experience that not all those we know will return the kindness we give them, lesson learned and there will always be more of them. Learn to see that before they drain you. Hoping that life gets better for both of you.
Change it it will make you feel alot better
Find out what the procedure is and get it done sooner than later and move on with your life
No harm in changing it if it gives you peace of mind. Do it now before it causes too much mental and admin bother. My middle name is my mothers, never caused me any bother. X
Remember the good times you had with your friend and carry on!
You could stop being petty and explain to her the middle name was after a good friend but you had a falling out. I know. Novel idea to just tell her the truth 
🤦 on the hand if you wanna spend a ton of money to change it, well, that’s up to you.
Is this really all you have to worry about ?
Leave it as is remember the good times that led to you picking it and focus on your daughter. The friendship is over move on
You’re overthinking things,first you should always ask someone if they’re in a good place emotionally and mentally BEFORE you dump all your feelings.You never know what people are going through, so it’s pretty selfish to just think about how you feel.
I say leave it. Remember the good times and hold onto those instead of the negative side of things . You dont have to explain the negative parts to her. You tell her the good 
Honestly change it if u want but no reason to … Most kids dnt care unless it’s a family name … U could simply tell if she asks u just liked the name
If you were calling her everyday, maybe it was getting too much for her and maybe she has her own stuff to deal with. As a friend you should understand that too. Just because shes your best friend, doesn’t mean you should expect her to be on call anytime you need her. People have their own lives and things to deal with and I am sure she wanted to help you as much as she could.
Come up with a new story about how she got her name. Way cheaper.
Just tell your daughter you thought it sounded pretty and move on with your life. Sounds like you need practice with handling situations so you can teach your baby how to deal with life too. This is not that dramatic, changing a babies name? On any legal documents she’ll have to say yes to previous names and explain her moms extremely sensitive and can’t handle adult situations well.
You should ALWAYS ask BEFORE you vent on someone. Some people are emotionally drained and hearing other people’s problems is a total overload for them. It’s really unfair to her that you off loaded and are expecting her to be there when she is already spread so thin. Keep the name.
I have a 19 yr old her middle name at the time i was hanging with and growing up arnd . (i had her at 15yrs. )… I would leave it. It makes them who they are. Its kinda like a piece of you at the time when your were falling and she kept the hope to continue with strength. And if in the end she wasnt a real friend and cant change tht. But what i learned and have after was a beautiful baby girl… Things happen in life everytime a bad thought comes to you bout your ex friend just be thankful she not arnd now cause who knows what eles she would do to hurt you… 
My mom changed my first name just before I turned 1. (1978). Doesn’t bother or hinder me in any way. She had a good friend who she named me after. They fell out so mom changed it. 
. No big deal. I prefer my second first name anyway.
Change the name, bye bye to the narcissistic friend, move on and never look back. Toxic people are never going to change… the world is about them and no one else.
When I was pregnant with my daughter a woman I barely knew had just lost her young daughter named ashlynn starr. She begged me to name her after her daughter so I named my daughter coraline starr. I thought we would be life long friends and that’s not what happened. I hadn’t thought of changing it until recently. My daughter’s real father met her 2 times when she was 2 and hasn’t wanted anything to do with her. My daughter’s now 10 and my husband and i have been together 8 years. He’s raised her since she was 2. He is her daddy and never ever tells anyone she isn’t biologically his. We are in the process of him adopting her changing her last name. My daughter, who knows the story of her middle name, asked if when she changed her last name she could changed her middle name also to something her daddy picked.
Do whatever you would like. She’s young enough to know the difference and if it’s too painful and you’re sure the friendship is over then go for it
Guess I am going to be the one with the unpopular opinion. My thought is if it makes you cringe, then you have to decide if that feeling is something you will get over, or are you going to feel that way everytime you have to see or tell or write her name. I don’t think it’s a big deal to change her name. I’ve heard of people changing their babies names for no reason at all. If I were you and I had a relationship go bad and it made me cringe to know my daughters name would be a constant reminder of it, ohh yeah, I’d change it fast. You are the parent, you get to decide. Furthermore, nobody has a right to judge what may or may not have happened in your friendship, people should stick to the question. Change name or not, not comment on who’s fault the relationship breakdown was. Best of luck to you, hope you can make a decision you won’t regret, one way or the other <3
Change it. A name is just that - and if you feel that it would be better off changed the do so. I actually have a family member that changed her daughters name when they were several years old because they didn’t feel like it suited her ( they never used it and always called her by a nickname anyways). Don’t let this stress you out even more. Do what you think is best for you and your family ( that is all that matter - NOT what anyone says - especially is online here lol).
And if you ever need a kind ear to vent to I am here as a friendly face
I’m going to stir the pot and respond to those saying that She Should Not Have “Dumped” Her feelings on someone else… REALLY Guys?? That’s your response to this? SHE WAS TALKING TO HER BEST FRIEND. If you all have to be in a “good mind set” to talk about something deep then your shit friends aswell.
It may take awhile to move on from a friendship. It’s apart of grieving, because your essentially losing someone close. When your daughter is older, if the conversation should arise then speak the truth. For now while she is young tell her you like her name.
I would definitely keep the name and come up with a different story of why you gave it to her. It’s a little late now but sometimes you can keep friends but just move them into a more casual position in your life and don’t tell them personal things. My 4th child was born with Down Syndrome and we had no idea due to poor prenatal care. My husband called his brother shortly after she was born for emotional support and his brother started asking which one of us did she get the Down syndrome from. And advising my husband to talk to a geneticist before having more kids. My husband told him that it wasn’t constructive for us to assign “blame” in the situation and he didn’t care which one of us it came from. We already knew it was mostly likely me. I already felt bad enough at that time. After that my husband decided to not confide or look for emotional support in his brother any more. He was moved into a more casual position. Sometimes intense situations bring out the true colors. Childbirth and the early years tend to be stressful and not everyone is sympathetic. I feel for you! It’s a hard time to lose people you are close to.
Leave it, you dont need to change anything to suit anyone.
Keep the name and keep learning from the experience. Everyone won’t always have your back. Don’t let her make you bitter. It’s her loss.
Change it if you want. She’s 8 mos old, she’ll never know what it was unless you tell her. My son was named after his bio dad and when he left us (and I do mean left, like totally walked out and never came back), I changed his name. I didnt think it was right to carry a father’s name if he was just gonna walk out like that. Years later (like in his teens), I told him. It wasnt a big deal.
This is the most insane petty thing I ever heard. How about this friend meant enough to you in your life to name your child after her and nothing can take away from that. She obviously meant a lot to you at that point in time. There’s no need to even lie when your daughter asks. I named you after a close friend at the time but we went our seperate ways. Or just tell her you liked the middle name. Changing it legally is just so extra lol
What if a year or so down the road you and her patch things up?
One fallout and you are going to banish her and change your daughters name?
I think that Maybe let your daughter give the name a new meaning 
I chose to give my daughter her sperm donors last name when we were still together, and I completely dispise him till this day, but I decided my daughter gets to give the last name a new/good meaning, because why waste your own energy on getting so worked up over a name because of a person YOU dont like? When you can just simply let it go and dont let it keep you up at night. It’s not like your daughter is going to know, unless you explain it to her. I say keep the name