I am done going places I do not feel comfortable: Am I over reacting?

I’ve been with my partner for seven years now. We’ve two kids together. I live in a different city from he’s family 5 hours away. We used to live there before, and we wouldn’t get visits from any of the family that maybe like twice, but that was all! I understand everyone has a life, plus I’m fine with it. Idc! Lol, Now we live back where I’m from and still no visits… We’ve gone a couple of times and visit and holidays. This year was my year to stay with my family only my mother in law came and got my boys gifts… the grandpa nothing(which is my father in law) (they’re divorced)… my little boys birthday was the next day still no call from the grandpa, or he’s wife… My partner wants it to go to the end of the month. I disagreed in my part. I’m done going to places where I’m not comfortable at… I talked to my husband about it, and he tried to make me seem like if I’m unfair and selfish… what do y’all think about this situation? Plus, this month is my birthday, and I really want to spend it with my family and be able to relax… I’m gonna be 25, so I’m still learning as a person and mother girls.

2 Likes

I think that it’s interesting how people want validation based upon how they feel. Feel how you feel forget everyone’s input. Do you. Gee!!!

4 Likes

I dont see why he cant go himself if he wants to go. Not really any reason for you to attend if you dont want to. It’s cool to do things separately or not engage with someone you dont want to.
If you’re stopping him from going it is a little selfish. But other then that its coolio

2 Likes

I’m with my husband 20 years and I dont go near his family for a bunch of reasons. But he visits with mine everytime we get together. He understands i have issues with them and knows not to force it because it wont go well for our relationship. I am also honest with them and they know I dont like to be around them and why. They dont want to change… up to them. But I’ll keep doing me and choose to surround myself with people i love and trust and who do the same to me and mine

Is English not your first language? It was literally painful to read this. If your husband asks you to go, it’s not for his family, it’s for him. You’re supposed to be his family, so why are you dead set against doing something that you know will make him happy? Marriage is a compromise. Sounds like he’s the only one willing to compromise

10 Likes

You do what you want let him go do what he wants you were there where his family was they didn’t visit they dont come to where you live now so dont go

I don’t stop my husband from going to see his family. I don’t go. I’m over it. Lol. Done. They don’t like it, but I love it. It’s my mental health at risk, and I take care of me. They can take care of themselves. (They just mad cause I was always the one making it the best time)

If you guys are always making the effort and they never do then do you. Girl its ur birthday. Go see ur family. Dont rely on other people to stay in ur lives. People who actually want to will.

3 Likes

Nothing wrong wit cutting off toxic ppl. His family, not urs

2 Likes

I am much older than u but understand what u are saying wish someone would have told me to stay at home! Things became a regular thing and I have never fit in, just now doing what I want. Hubs not real happy but now all my family is gone. IDC anymore

I had to read this 3 different times trying to decipher what your situation is and holy shit! Between the atrocious use of grammar and spelling, I’m at a loss as to what your problem actually is. :thinking:

3 Likes

Some in laws are good at pretending and some u just know they can’t stand u and as soon as u walk out u are the topic till the next visit—- 48 years was finally enough for me

Do what makes you happy

1 Like

You can’t make someone happy. You can be happy and offer that to a relationship but you can’t make someone feel anything. You can’t pee for someone else, you can’t bare their burdens. Make your self Happy and give your s/o room to do the same

You book s weekend away with your girls

You right to go where you are comfortable, especially for your kid. I dont take my children where they are not welcome or comfortable. And i dont invite people who clearly have no care for my children or myself. As for in-laws: my hubby is treated like our own on my aidenof the family but i am always the outsider for his family. So my advice is that hubby cant see reason. To avoid conflict in your marriage. Go to his dad. Feel the vibes and suss the attitude. If its good, embrace it. If not, then let it be seen by your hubby and hopefully he will realise that he should not be subjecting you to misery. Family politics can create a lot of problems in a marriage. All the best to both of you in solving this one.

Is a misunderstanding. Not because you are blood related you have to stand a person.

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed!