Alright mamas, I’m having a difficult time with my husband. Our son will be two months old tomorrow. My mood swings have been out of wack (I know it’s normal) and I’ve explained to him that I cannot control them but he still doesn’t seem to understand even though he has an 11 year old. It’s not like it’s his first time on the block but I’m not sure how his ex was after their daughter was born. Is there something I can do to make it better? I primarily take care of our son (obviously) so I also get stressed sometimes. Our son is such a good baby. He’s not the problem. I’m emotional all the time. I don’t feel pretty. I don’t feel like he’s attracted to me anymore (even though he says he is). I hardly ever ask for help but I really need it right now bc I’ve never loved a man so much in my life. Any advice is appreciated
What can you do to steady yourself more?
Visualize your happy place frequently, be it a fluffy bed, the beach, a hike in the woods, sitting in front of a fire in a mountain cabin with a mug of cocoa, racing a car, flying through the air in your imagination, whatever. Make plans to make it happen in real life (you can fly in a hang glider, a helicopter, parasailing, or a plane) sometime in the future.
Do some yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, deep breathing. Ten minutes at a time works fine.
Get some exercise. Do gentle movement, go for a walk with baby in a stroller, stretch, do isolations, put on music and dance, do wall push-ups. As you get stronger, increase the number of reps and difficulty. Again, 10 minutes at a time is great. Swimming is great, and check if you can safely use a hot tub yet.
Put a little extra movement in your cleaning: vacuum more vigorously, really reach and bend as you clean and put things away. This is great exercise.
Ask your doctor for meds, supplements or ideas for ways to tame the hormone monster.
Make sure you are getting as much rest and sleep as possible (I know, it’s difficult).
Eat healthy, take your vitamins. Lots of healthier choices in the frozen section, ready-made salads and more. Salads, soups and more vegetables are available at fast or fast casual food restaurants (Panera, Cava, Wendy’s, Sweetgreen, Chipotle, Subway sandwiches with lots of veggies, Sun Chips & unsweetened iced tea, for example).
Be sure you are having some fun. Get babysitters and go on dates with hubs, or just Netflix and chill after baby goes to bed. Take a day trip or spend the night at a B&B.
Pamper yourself regularly: long bath or shower, hair done, massages, facials, mani and/or pedi, girls time, light a candle & have a glass of wine (only one if you’re breastfeeding), etc. Doing something once or twice a month should be affordable.
Try to control one emotion better each week or month. Find certain scents that are calming. Schedule time to scream, cry, growl, punch a pillow, have a tantrum in your room away from family & get it out. Gradually cut back from several times a day to not needing these sessions anymore.
Build your “village” so you have plenty of folks you trust who can give you a break from morning. Even if you use the time to nap, that helps.
Relax your standards, especially if you’re a perfectionist. Your house will look “lived in” until all kids leave home. You can’t do it all, so don’t.
Your husband needs to grow up and step up
Talk to your doctor. I needed psych meds after my baby was born