I am having issues with my daughter at school...advice?

I’m having problems with my daughter at school focusing and listening she gets infractions and gets on a color she’s not supposed to be on and when that happens she does get grounded from the TV and the phone she does have adhd and she learn slower than what she’s supposed to and don’t really understand what we talk to her about sometimes I try my best to explain but she just don’t understand and I’m not all about giving my child medication she is 6 yrs old anyway what I’m trying to get to is what are somethings that you do at home or school etc to help your child pay attention and focus please no rude comments I feel like I have tried so much with her and that nothings working

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Go to a functional doctor and get her blood tested. She is lacking some minerals and vitamins

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I have ADHD and learn/listen better when doing something else. All through my training for different jobs, I coloured and it helped me focus so much better. I could answer any question they asked. If I didn’t colour, I got distracted thinking about completely stupid things. I hope this helps in some way

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Sadly the way mainstream schooling is doesn’t suit every child. In saying that, id be reaching out to her teacher and brainstorming with them what might work best to help support her and keep her on task. You and your child’s teacher know her best.

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She just learns different. Find that and you’ll be happy.

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Medication is sometimes the only way to make it fair to your child. Why punish your child when there is a way to fix the situation

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I hate that for her :broken_heart:…have her tested to see if she’s on the spectrum or have a learning disability

She’s horribly uncomfortable in her own skin in the first place and being punished for that isn’t going to help matters. Homeschool this child or give her the medication she needs to be successful. And speak to the school about an IEP right away. Request it.

At six years old their attention span does not last long,keep reminding her each time she gets distracted. Had a Friend with a Daughter that could not stay focus and not sit still. After a few Years she over came this and is now an A student.

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I suggest joining a female adhd group on fb. Lots of help

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If she has a medical diagnosis you need to put a504 in place for her at school. Also do your research on the color system that the teacher is using. They are not beneficial. I’m saying all this as a mother of special needs children and as a special education teacher.

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Oh please if the dr says she needs meds, let her have them. My grandson is the same and responds to the smallest of meds to settle him down so he can focus. And he has done so well, and now 19 and said he couldn’t have done school without the meds. Meds help her brain, and helps her to absorb information and she will be so happy with herself too and its all about their self esteem.

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Not sure what state you’re in but in Texas we have a 504 plan which states out a plan for the staff to follow in ways to help the child. My daughter has ADHD and other mental health difficulties for which she in medication and has been for several years. I would refrain from punishments/consequences for her being unable to focus, especially at such a young age but rather put in place a reward system. Start small, for each subject through out the day at school she was able to successfully complete, she would be rewarded with an extra 15 mins of play time or tv or something like that.

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Talk to your daughter a bit to find out what helps and works for her. You know your child best. What help her calm. What seems to help her focus? What helps her learn? People learn in diffident ways. Touch & explore? Listening, and pencil to paper?
(Does she learn better by being shown? Does she give right answers verbally, but struggles to write them?) so many factors come in to play. Your best option is to seek professional help. Start with her pediatrician. Ask about therapy. An advocate can help tremendously! Does she have a 504 or an IEP plan for school?

I tried everything with my daughter, finally tried meds. Gave her the smallest amount of non stimulating medication and it was like night and day difference. She is able to stream line her thoughts and focus on one thing and not bounce all over being disruptive and disrespectful. I went from being mom shamed at conferences to being told there isn’t anything else I can grade your daughter on at this level she has excelled beyond belief. I didn’t believe in meds either but then realized I was hurting her by my beliefs.

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Reward the good, try and ignore the bad by talking to her not punishment and try to explain to her in words she understands. Try holistic balms look up www. blessedbees this is balms that can be used to treat anxiety and hyperactivity. My son had adhd and other mental health issues. I taught him at home as every school in South Yorkshire refused to help him. One to one learning is easier for them working at their own pace. Give plenty of breaks and refreshments. My lad used to learn better through using a recording device as he hated writing. They have very little attention span at 6yrs old. Make sure at school there’s a INDIVIDUAL Learning plan in place for her. Good luck love.

medication is a life changer for kids with adhd. i have 2 with it and tbey were put on meds and tbey went from not able to finish work and concentrate to straight a’s. its only
during school, i give in morning and by time they are hone its worn off. dont knock it till u try it. if itll help your child in school why not help them…
also get her on a 504 plan though school

Try giving her coffee or something woth caffeine in it before she goes to school. Caffeine actually helps calm people down who have ADHD. I did it with my oldest and it helped for a while. I did end up having to put her on meds, she was off of them by 5th grade

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If she doesn’t understand and she is diagnosed, exactly why tf are you punishing her for? That’s so wild that you want to treat someone like that, who isn’t understanding and isn’t at fault for your refusal to actual treat her or get her an IEP.

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Check her Vitamin and minerals, vit B1, vit D, folate, also safflower help with my son who has adhd, , also one on one works good too

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Whatever you do, don’t put your child on medication.

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You’re punishing her for something she can’t help? Because the fucking school has bullshit protocols? Yikes

So…you are punishing your disabled child FOR HER DISABILITY. As you withhold the meds she needs for her disability

Efffing-A I HATE PEOPLE

YTA. And you suck as a parent

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You can get her an IEP for school it should help

First and foremost is that teacher is not accommodating her she needs a different teacher they should be working with her not putting her on discipline or a color list she needs structure she needs somebody that can take the time for her

I was against medication because my daughter was 7 and it was the best thing ever. If you can afford it find a place that offers brain paint sessions. It helped also. Just only so far. She also needs/ed to have fidget things when trying to focus.

I was extremely against medication however my doctor found one for my son that works great isnt a stimulant and he’s still himself. Sometimes they need it. I’d try therapy first and medications second but we also had a test done to see what medications would work best for him and what medication he could have bad reactions too

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Healthy diet and good amount of sleep…bed early

Have the school do an IEP plan for her. They can help her set goals and help with what ever she needs

I’m 48 years old and ADHD. I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30s. I got in trouble at school as a kid, didn’t work to my full potential and even dropped out of highschool. I am now medicated, in college for the first time and a 4.0 plus student. Try medication.

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I don’t think it’s right to punish her for something that is beyond her control. Your daughter needs help learning to live with ADHD. It’s not easy to cope with. I have it. I have to remind myself over and over and over again what it is I’m doing. Otherwise I’m doing something else.

I tried everything. Medication was my worst fear. But at 7 I finally gave it a try. Life is so much better for my son. He was always in trouble for not paying attention, anger outbursts, fidgeting, etc. He is 100% still himself. Not a zombie as I thought he would be. He’s doing much better in school and home life is so much more pleasant :relieved:

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I was diagnosed adhd and medicine has been a life saver. It would have helped me with friendships and life if I’d have had the diagnoses much earlier.

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Underlying emotional issue. Plz understand and not over react.

Ear plugs can help her to also limit the over-stimulation from noises… helping her to focus.
Use less talking and more visuals.

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My 11 y boy struggles in school he now has a behavior tracker at school he brings home daily and if he gets good in all classes he gets a sticker on the chart at home and if he gets all 5 he gets a one on one parent date. And if he can compleat a whole month he gets money

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I recently had a well check with our pediatrician for my 2 oldest kids (8,4) last week and he said they get a ton of parents coming in that think their kids have adhd or autism etc and when he asks why and it’s mostly about how they can’t focus in school etc. He said more often than not, that kid just needs glasses. They can’t focus because they can’t see well so their mind goes elsewhere. So I would maybe get an eye check just to rule that out. Worst case, that’s not it and you’re still where you are now. Best case, many problems solved with just a pair of glasses?

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I gave my daughter coffee. It really helped… also talk to school about putting her in a smaller group class. A teacher can have 5 or 6 kids to focus on rather than 30 she will get more attention and not have the time to lose her focus

The education system is not built in a way for most kids to learn well. Six year olds are made to explore, move, dig, climb, question, play, etc. they are not made to sit and listen for hours. Find a school like a forest school where she can be outside most of her day. Or homeschool her.

Also, you say you don’t want to medicate her, but TV and phone are like a medication. They do the same things to your brain. Cut those things out. They’re stimulating her brain, but not allowing for energy expenditure. They’re zombie-fying her. Take that time and send her out to play and get dirty and climb trees. She’ll be better for it.

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She’s young, still a baby learning. When explaining to her have her look you in the eyes and repeat what you said and have her explain what it means . It might take awhile for her to understand but keep to it she’ll get it.

Hi, Fr what I’ve read kids with ADHD lack iron, omega-3 and magnesium look into that. Meditation helps that learn control and patience. Also calmingusic at night before they go to sleep. Definitely nutrition plays a huge role as well.

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Jigsaw puzzles helps with concentration, that was what my kids did at that age so they could destress…it worked for us.

Find something that she’s interested in. I have a 10 yr old with ADHD, diagnosed at 5yrs. No meds he gets coffee now and then, but he does like to build things and be creative so I give him plenty of opportunities to do so, even if it’s a cardboard box. Fidgets also help when he needs to be calm still and focused. Music also helps keep him focused. He also did counciling but then he got put on an as needed option because we were doing all the same things at home that helped. He hasn’t been in counseling in 3 yrs. It’s not just the child it’s how the adults and people respond to him also.

Try just giving her small task and reward her for those small task. She is 6 years old.
Her attention spam is less that other 6 year olds….also, as you explain in bits and pieces ask her to repeat what was said. It will help with cognitive learning. Mom, remember to breathe……

My. daughter was like that her grades where not great one day I was watching her looking at something and realized she couldn’t see. Took her for a eye exam and her grades went to A B

So you don’t want to medicated but you’re punishing her for something she can’t control? :grimacing: my daughter has severe ADHD. I would never punish her for stuff like this if she wasn’t medicated. I dont punish even though she is medicated because school is hard on kids especially with needs higher than other kids.

So you’ll ground her but won’t actually try and see if meds will work?

Yes you really need to take her Doctor for help

Please don’t be afraid of medication. ADHD is a chemical imbalance in the brain and medication is there to attempt to balance the chemicals. For some people it is absolutely necessary to be on medication to be able to function at their best the way we should be.

Join ADHD Parent Support (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

Don’t fight putting your child on meds for ADHD . It will really help as long as they are taken ontime .

Focus factor gummies work well they are just vitamins

First off, kudos for the courage to ask.
I will keep my post to three questions to consider.

  1. ADHD and Autism are commonly misdiagnosed separately. Is/has there been consideration for testing for Autism? (Also not uncommon to have both)
  2. With ADHD, caffeine can help bring the speed of brain and body into alignment. If not willing to look at medication, then what is being done to help align the two?
  3. What supports are being done in the school to help modify the environment of learning? Contact the school and have a meeting.

I don’t understand why people are afraid of medication. It’s okay to try other avenues first and leave it as a last resort. But when you’ve exhausted your other options and your child still needs help, it’s time to talk to your doctor. Tell them you want to explore other options but you want to know what everything is, first. And medication isn’t a one size fits all, it’s a try this and see. You should also talk to the school about an IEP and get that ball rolling, it takes almost a full year of evaluation to get that set up sometimes but it will really help set expectations on how the school should help your child. A lot of ADHD kids are visual learners as opposed to audio so once you get the IEP in place you can ask them to please present the information in a different way so she’s able to follow along and understand better. But to know for sure you can get a test done that will help show how your child learns best (it has honestly helped us so much). Talk to your doctor (we talked to our psychologist, I don’t think your family doctor can administer this test but they can help you find a good and reputable person who can) about a cognitive ability test so you can figure that out as well. Good luck momma and remember that you’re trying to find the best ways to help your child so you really really need to keep an open mind about what could be holding her back and what could be used to help her.

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If she has ADHD I would say that some of her behaviors are likely diagnosis related and likely not under her full control. If you have not you need to send written notice to the school requesting a full evaluation for an IEP(individualized education plan) and a BIA(behavior intervention assessment) so that a BIP(behavior intervention plan) can be developed. If she has those then call for a amendment meeting immediately as her plan is either not being followed or inadequate for her and that is prohibiting her from receiving Fair and Appropriate Education. It’s very likely the taking away tv and phone aren’t helping but could be making the situation actually worse as for nureodiverse kiddos that’s viewed as negative reinforcement and often times those are the means with which they self regulate. I’m not saying to totally ignore the behavior allowing her to get away with it but with nureodiverse kiddos we have to alter how we “punish”.
Consider medication (sometimes it’s just needed), coffee/caffeine can help regulate as well, and occupational therapy can help work with natural coping skills to be able to function better in those social settings.

READ MORE: https://mamasuncut.com/best-educational-apps-kids-students/

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Nothing is working because you are refusing to give her the help she needs , and also grounding her for stuffs that the poor girl CAN NOT CONTROL.

And , she should not be getting infractions neither at school , if she had being diagnosed with adhd she needs an intervention at school , she have to get a IEP ( in case she doesn’t have any ) she needs accommodations, and depending on her level maybe even to be relocated in a special / small group where the teachers teach more like 1 on 1.

Not one can force you into giving her medication , but you should talk about with her doctor and do your research, medications will improve her lack of concentration and focus .

But please , I’m talking with experience, not matter how much you talk to her , not matter how you try to explain to her , her brain works in a different way, it’s not just slowly, it’s different, she can’t understand, please do not put more pressure on her , STOP grounding her and seeks the help she needs

Join the ADDitude - ADHD Support Group for Adults group on FB.

So she has ADHD which is problems focusing. You’re punishing her for what she can’t control. I find this a lot with my ADHD kids. School punished them which makes them feel bad about themselves because you’re literally punishing them for who they are, what they can’t control. Then more behavior problems occur, they punish more. It’s an useless cycle which is only damaging your kid. I’m not saying medication is the only way. Im not found of medication either. I have 1 on it, the other isn’t. I don’t think it makes a difference. The only positive I’m seeing is him loosing weight. Not much. But he can stand to loose a little :rofl:. Counseling & redirection works better. Of course punishing a child for behavior we don’t like is an easier way to make us feel like we’re doing something, gives us a sense of power & control but is damaging to the child.

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Limit loud sounds and distractions. Repeat yourself as often as needed because hey… ADHD is not fun to live with.

Lmfao take your child to a doctor. Physiatrist, phycologist, evaluations for special education so she gets the help she obviously needs.

She’s only 6, and needs time.
Let her get her infractions. This is what she will systematically learn from.
Stay the course with discipline & keep home life schedule VERY consistent and structured and don’t deviate from it…play time, nap time, meal time, bath time, bed time, rise and shine time, etc .
If home life… is a catchers catch can free-for-all 24/ 7 , it greatly affects child’s ability to develop focus and lends to anxiety…and a bunch of other things, & will interfere with her ability to adjust to the structure and social dynamics of now being in school…which is a lot for first time littles in kindergarten…and she’ s only what? a few weeks in maybe??
Home is a schedule YOU…have to keep… and keep her on, and has the most significant influence on adjustment as children grow and learn developmentally. Nothing… is more important than that, and serves as a foundational baseline for the rest of her life and everything in it.
Give the child, and her developing brain some TIME!
This isn’t easy…or with push button results. Its an ongoing process and every child is different. Continue with periodic pediatrician evaluations regarding meeting age appropriate developmental markers. If there are no red flags identified by Dr. , give it a year.
And lose that phone. I Pad too. Severely limit the TV time.
A 6 year old doesn’t need it or that distracting stimuli on a screen that will assuredly limit her growing ability to focus & think…for herself when all they do is sit and stare at intense mindless visual stimuli with blaring noise for hours upon hours. It creates anxiety ridden, cranky, bleary eyed ’ zombified ’ kids, with attention spans of less than 10 seconds, sleep disturbances & mood disorders, unable to be calm, focus or self soothe without a ‘fix’.

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As a mom to a child with adhd and having adhd myself please stop punishing that baby for things out of her control. All that’s teaching her is that having adhd is bad. And talk to your pediatrician about non medicine options in your area. There are therapies they can go to