So my husband’s godparent came into town, he’s out of state about 8 hours away. The first time I ever met him, he came on my first Mother’s Day and took my husband out for a 3 hour movie. He invited me, but I had just had our baby, so I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to be rude and let alone my husband felt really bad too, but I was like hey, you haven’t seen him in a while, just go! I was upset, but I always thought we could celebrate another time. We had no idea he was coming, he just texted my husband and said hey I’m in town let’s watch a movie! The second time he came down, he didn’t have a place to stay. We didn’t have a place for him at the time we lived with the family. So my husband had to find a place he could stay. That made me upset only because why would he put himself in that position? He knew we couldn’t have him stay with us… but I guess he wanted to visit that badly. The third time, he came for my daughter’s birthday party. He stayed with us because now we have a place. However, it’s only a one-bedroom. He came for the birthday party and stayed 3 days after. That kind of bothered me because we both had work and our baby was at the sitters. He would just be at the house until we got home and would want to go out and do something. I had just planned my baby’s birthday party, so I was exhausted, and all the hours I worked, I was worn out! I got home and had already planned to make dinner, give my daughter a bath, and do laundry. But he INSISTED we go out; I told him I’m sorry I just have to clean and give her a bath, right now isn’t a good time. He sighed and stated that I’m always busy, and he just wanted to spend time with me. I’m a cashier, so I spend all day smiling and talking so I really just wanted to be home… I felt bad, but we had a great time at my baby’s birthday. That’s all he was coming for… let alone he didn’t even tell us he was staying longer. Just did. Fast forward a few days ago, he was driving through town and came to visit. He stayed a night— I didn’t mind. However he has a really bad back or he got hurt, something like that so he needs to sleep on a bed. Not the couch. So of course I tell him to sleep on my bed with my husband. I’ll sleep in the living room. It was only one night, I thought, so I was like, eh, it’s okay. I’ll just watch tv and crash out. Next day, I was on the phone with my mom and she wanted to go check a car out on Friday. So I told her yeah I can go with you! After the phone call, he asked me, do you want me to go check it out with you guys? So I took that as in he’s staying until Friday? I thought only 1 night? So I started to become annoyed; I wasn’t going to sleep on the couch again. Turns out I slept on the couch again. My baby woke up in the middle of the night, and I went into my baby’s rooms only to see he was cradling her. I was sad because my daughter was screaming, I’m the one who comforts her in the middle of the night because my husband is a heavy sleeper and I love to, I’m a mom. So I was sad, irritated and weirded out. It was 4am. Now my husband left for work around 7am. And I had work at 9am. I went to my baby’s crib, and it was empty. I was worried I was looking everywhere. My husband’s godparent took my baby into bed with him after my husband left. I was furious. He is always traveling and talks about how tired he is. Why would he take my baby into bed!?! Without asking?!? Why was that necessary?!! At this point I was mad. He had overstayed and crossed a boundary. Then he insisted we needed to go get a Christmas tree because my husband and him had that tradition when he was a kid. I said kindly, I would love to, but we’re going this weekend! My husband had the day off, finally, so we were going to make it a date. We already made plans. His godfather kept asking even after I had said no… He took it to my husband and my his said the same thing, we already made plans. Then his godfather asked if he could stay for Christmas. But we’re leaving out of town for Christmas. So my husband told him that and he said okay, very sadly and tried to convince him to stay. But we made this plan and reservation 5 months ago. His godfather doesn’t take no for an answer, and if he does, he will make you feel bad for it. He doesn’t ask permission before he does something like staying another night or going into my baby’s room. I’ve never had someone overstay. I’ve never really even got to meet the guy or know him, so yes, I am uncomfortable when he enters my daughter’s room. It’s not helpful; it worries me. He’s an old school. I put my baby in the car seat and he suggested that I face my baby forward. I won’t and can’t because my baby is still little. There’s just so much that comes into play, and I try to be the nicest. My husband works a lot, so it’s often that I have to deal with this. He went home yesterday because my husband told him he’s going to be working overtime so he won’t be home, so he got the hint and left. I just had to vent. Comment? opinion?
Child. I would’ve thrown him out the moment you said “he took my baby to bed”. Just throw him all away. I’m too much of a mama bear for that mess.
BOTH of yous.
Nobody grabs baby from bed, but yous. Nobody lays down with baby, but yous.
First off why dont you speak tf up!? That’s fuckin weird that he had your baby in the bed with him without your permission! I hope you checked your child! Like I’m sorry but I see all these women who ask questions and want advice and most of the damn time it’s you not speaking up and LETTING PEOPLE DO INAPPROPRIATE THINGS WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CHILDREN! How is that not enough to tell someone off? You saying oh now that made me mad but you didny say shit? So damn annoying! I’d beat someone’s ass for having my child in the bed with them without my permission!
He sounds like an overbearing pain in the ass. But on the other hand your husband must be very important to him and he wants to be in your family’s life. I do think he overstepped by taking the baby into bed with him, that’s weird. Did he raise children of his own? If you don’t speak up and say that’s not okay then you can only blame yourself if it happens again.
Nobody treats you any way that you don’t allow. Stand up for your family since your husband won’t.
I am getting stressed out just reading this…
He sounds lonely, and like he just wants to be included. Yes, boundaries were crossed. Was he aware of the boundaries?
U need 2 have ur hubby have a talk with him. He’s taking advantage of u both.
I totally agree with him over stepping boundaries and over staying his welcome…but I also get the impression he is old and lonely and wants to be included in what family he feels he has left. I can’t tell from the bit that is given if he has other family members. Maybe talk to your husband about setting some SERIOUS boundaries but also try to include him more in your family functions. For him to live 8 hours away and make that drive it shows he’s missing something
At first I was going to say what’s the big deal over a movie. But the more I read the more I wanted to yell “KICK! HIM! OUT!” Your husband needs to step in but he won’t. Put on your big girl panties and put your foot down.
Nope, absolutely not. He’s grossly crossed boundaries and obviously doesn’t respect you, your home or your boundaries. No ma’am. He would no longer be allowed in my home period. Him and your husband can go on their odd dates out of the home and call it a day.
So many things wrong with what he’s doing but taking your baby from their bed hell no girl. Do not let him back in your house and if he does show up tell him straight that he is not staying over nite
I didn’t finish reading this. You need to set some FIRM, CLEAR boundaries with him asap.
Seriously! He sounds like a pedophile
Well first off get to know the man. Take part in things if you do not get to know him and your husband and him seem close you will most likely push your husband away. Any help from family is amazing you seem to be pushing it away. Which is a red flag for me. Why do you not want family help? And maybe if you were more open to people being around you you wouldn’t have sooo many issues with this guy. He seems he has boundary issues or maybe he is lonely but before you judge get to know the man. Geez
Unpopular opinion: i dont see a big problem with him wanting to help with the baby. He probably thought he was helping you out.
However, No means no and i wouldn’t like him showing up and staying long…but seems like he loves your husband like a son which is why he wants to be included in everything yall do. I’m sure he means nothing by it when helping out with the baby. However inviting himself over and trying to change plans is rude…
Tell him from now on until you guys get a bigger place you and your husband can’t host him while he’s in town visiting because it just becomes too much in such a little space.
I got stressed reading your post, follow your INTUITION I would not let ANYONE touch my child! He is testing your boundaries so he can slowly disrespect you completely. Kick him the hell out and tell him he needs to find a hobby or get his own family smh
Don’t like the sound of him ,not good kick him to the Curb quick ,tell your husband what you think before it’s to late
I would say there the door don’t come back in it and noone cuddles my baby it takes it to there bed but me
Yeah, I got a yucky feeling readying this. And I’d have a cow if a friend took my baby to bed with them WITHOUT ASKING, much less someone I don’t really know. Grooming starts early.
Taking the baby to sleep with him???
Honestly the only issue I’d have is taking the baby into his bed. Thats a no no and you go by our rules or don’t visit. I’ve had many family over for visits thay would scoop up baby out of bed if they were crying, just to help out.
I don’t mind company because I have lost all my elder relatives.
All I have left are my siblings. Company Is temporary and can be delt with a few days at a time. Family is very important to me. He’s probly old and lonely.
Have a sit down with hubby and set specific rules and boundaries for when he visits.
So I guess I’m gonna go out on a limb here. Why do you have him as the childs godfather? I mean, do you understand the definition of a Godparent? Although I think he is overstepping in certain situations, perhaps he is extremely lonely, no family, and that he feels that’s all he has? A godparent will take responsibility when or if something happens to you guys. Why would you have him as a godparent if you dont like him?
You need to have a serious discussion about this man and his actions with your husband…like yesterday. Your husband may be comfortable with him but you are not and that needs to be respected. You guys need to discuss major boundaries and then talk to him about it. There is no way in hell he would be allowed around my baby without supervision from here on out either…
glad he’s gone ! i would have knocked his teeth down his throat picking up my baby without permission an sleeping with her ?? HELLA RED FLAGS tell him to call next time so you can come up w an excuse to be out so he can’t barge in on yalls lives he needs to know he can’t jus show up an stay an do what he wants in someone else’s home w someone else’s baby ? an as far as him taking your husband for a movie ?? more red flags 3 hours ? no i don’t buy that i don’t think they’re going to a movie at all please i hope you stand your ground when it comes to your home an your children an your husband can stand an support you an do the same or he can move aside an stand down i would be fuming mad:fire: like smoke would be coming out of my ears i’d look like hades when he flipped his lid frfr
Sleep in bed WITH your husband??? WTF
AND took your baby to bed? No way!!!
I could have maybe dealt with the other things… But, taking your daughter in bed with him… NO! Never!! No! Speak up for your daughter. You do not know this mans intentions…
You need a sit down talk about boundaries. He sounds lonely and just wants to be a part of the family and sounds like he is trying to help, he just doesn’t understand he isn’t being helpful. It should be explained in the nicest way possible, and maybe suggest family outings once a month or maybe family dinners. So he feels included and you can be better prepared and maybe less surprise drop bys.
Move and give no forwarding address lol but seriously YOU were on the couch in your own home??!! He touched your child without asking??!! Nope! No more visits.
No. No no dont let him back clearly communicate to your hubby what your feelings and concerns are he should not have that baby in bed ?! WTF I woulda neen super uneasy about that ome thing of he took baby into living room to rick in chair or something that just creepy I’m sorry hun but you need a get your man on same page as you for future of this guy …
To long to read feel asleep lol
Girl, that would make me super uncomfortable too if I was in your position. Especially going into the baby’s room and bringing her back to cosleep. Red flag!!! Maybe talk to your husband about your concerns and aggravation with how he handles things? You could always show him your post… If you’re uncomfortable talking to The Godfather about your concerns. Have your husband talk to him as a “we” and not aim it all on you. I’d be furious!
It honestly sounds like the man is lonely. Not that that excuses his behavior. Does he have a family of his own? He may not realize that his behavior is coming off as rude or creepy. Y’all sit down and talk to him about it. Set some healthy boundaries.
I would have a good long talk with my husband .
That would all be a whole lot of hell no from me.
Oh. HELLLLLLL. NO.
Okay I was reading this… and at first I was like hey just deal with him. He needs people to be around. Even grabbing the baby at night. I’d be like AWESOME! If your husband can trust him, you can (my philosophy). But taking the baby to bed with him… F.U.C.K. No. That is not okay. He needs boundaries. That’s where your husband needs to step in. I recently moved out of state, so I have family stop by a lot. That’s why I was like hey just be happy he’s coming… but no… this sounds way worse than that. And the day someone else sleeps in my bed will be a cold day in hell. Hahahha. Your husband needs to have a serious talk with him!
Set boundaries, he is to sleep only where you allow him…couch it is! If he doesn’t like it he can find other arrangements! Why should you be uncomfortable in your own home! Secondly the baby is your care only! Tell him how you feel about his nightly care and it’s not needed! Also have your husband inform him to not just drop in any more as he has a family now and can’t just drop everything just because he is visiting! Some people don’t realize the world doesn’t revolve around them! Set some boundaries for this guy!
I think it’s good to be careful but you need to talk to your husband. Evidently the guy is like family to your husband. If it were your family, would you be as upset over everything? Sounds like he is trying to get to know you and to be helpful since you are so stressed. But, with today’s craziness in the world, you can’t be too careful I guess.
Your gut says it all. You have a little girl. Don’t allow him to groom her. Don’t let him stay again. And if he does, you and baby go to hotel. PERIOD. your husband and he will then finally understand, your requests matter. And if not, then your husband can share the bills with him. Keep your baby safe!
I would tell your hubs he can find a hotel next time he decides to pop into down. All of that is way over boundaries and i would’ve told him to leave after he took the baby to the bed. Not no but hell no. It’s is your house and your baby. You need to set boundaries and your husband needs to stand up for you. Period. Personally thats a personality that rubs me the wrong way and I wouldn’t put myself or family around them.
It sounds like he’s just lonely. The only thing that would bother me, other than over staying his welcome, would be the co sleeping. If I don’t co sleep with my baby I’m certainly not going to let someone else. Just have your husband talk to him about boundaries.
This was such a confusing tapestry. If I have an issue with somebody the last thing I’m doing is opening my home up to them let alone let them sleep with my husband. This was just too weird to understand what exactly you’re specifically mad about
Uh yeah, nope. So much no. No for days. If husband wants him to stay me and baby would be staying somewhere else until he’s gone. He crossed the line with handling your baby without permission and taking her to his bed is a HUGE red flag.
U said he had bad back and pain maybe he is hooked on pain pills or something maybe that’s why he is lonely and don’t have no one ( burnt bridges) I’m just saying just be careful hundred with him around baby pls.!!!
Ummm, BOUNDRIES! Maybe he didn’t think you would mind him sleeping with the baby because you let him sleep with your husband. Weird on all levels and totally unacceptable. You seem to be bothered by everything, but let them get away with it all. Talk to your husband. He needs to put an end to this circus. That’ll be the day when I sleep on the couch at home, ha!
Be careful honey with him around baby plz.
something is wrong with this dude, and your husband isn’t bright enough to put two and two together. GTFO would be my one and only warning. Tell your husband he cannot stay in your home anymore. If he wants to spend time with him, he can do it somewhere else.
Maybe he has no where to go maybe he don’t have a home have u ever seen his place? But you’re hubby needs to put him in check politely!!!
He should never be allowed to comfort the baby in the night nor should he EVER bring YOUR baby to bed with him. Ever ! I would have to lay down the law with him and set many boundaries. He has no business popping in for the night at last minutes notice . And you should NEVER give up your bed again .
Hes like a grandfather to the child. Why should you act like that?? I am confused, he is family… I understand being taken aback for his trying to help. And maybe bringing the baby to bed, Is a decision for the parents. Seriously just sounds like he is trying to be active in your husband’s life. And just honestly wants to get to know his God grandchild aswell…
Sorry, if he comes again sleep in your babies room, he creeps me out.
Set boundaries and stick to them. I wouldn’t trust him with the baby either. Something is off.
Red flags ALL OVER THE PLACE…
Just so no when he comes unannounced, and stick to it!! He does not respect your household, friend or not. He’s taking advantage of your husband’s generosity.
He needs to stay at a hotel and not mooch off of yours and your husband’s home. It is especially concerning since he already took your baby with to bed. This is extreme and not normal, I don’t care how old school. Who knows what he’ll try to do next time. Your husband needs to be a man and confront him and set boundaries, godparent or not. You should not be made uncomfortable in your own home.
The more you relent to his demands the bigger the demands are going to be lovely…
I think you need to talk to your husband,and then this man.Set up boundaries.But I also think he may just be lonely.But please talk with your husband,or it may cause problems between the two of you.
And yes the baby bit set my radar off. You only just met this fella and him being 8 hours away and not seeing your husband for ages, well a lot could have happened which is why he’s at yours hiding… be careful please. !
Whoa. Sounds like Godfather needs a J.O.B. and a hobby.
Yes definitely he is old and lonely, no one wants him around how about. when the dad was a little boy.
He is WAY over the line!!! He needs to be banished from your life!
Tell him to back off…thats your baby is be furious too and explain all the dangers of sleeping with a new baby…plus your the mom…and yea it’s weird to have some man you don’t know around your baby especially in the middle of the night like that…id prolly flip the fuck out…but I don’t trust men anyway even the ones I know except my dad…and my brother
But I bet if it was your father acting this way you wouldn’t care at all he sounds like a caring grandpa (yes I know he is godfather)…
Nope no need to comfort YOUR baby unless you’ve asked . And hellllll nahh bringing baby into the bed he was sleeping in
He sounds like a pediphile and he wouldn’t be welcomed in my home.
Get him to LEAVE!!! Red flags all over the place. If he wanted to be active in his godchild’s life then he would have idc if he lives 8 hrs away. They haven’t seen eachother in years and he is wanting to play Grandfather? Like uhm no. Even a grandfather would ask if he could comfort the baby at night. So many things wierd about it He needs to get a hotel or move closer if he is wanting to be around. Not mooching off of yall and stressing you out. I’ve had people way over stay thier time and I HATED it. I was miserable because they would mooch and not try to find work… and I didn’t have my personal space. I don’t like people in the space that is mine except the family I made with my SO. (2 amazing boys 4 and 5) He needs to respect your boundries. Oh… and F*** that he needs to sleep on the couch…!!! Like wtf. THAT would have NOT been an option for myself, idc he could sleep on the floor lol. Best of luck Momma. Talk to your husband how you feel then have BOTH of you sit down with him.
I wound be the same as as you to keep it up mamma you are a mom and want you say goes
I could have dealt with some stuff I would not have given up my bed he could have made a pallet on the floor it is good for bad backs. Touching my baby without permission is a NO NO and he would have gotten cursed out and kicked out for having my baby in the bed with him! You are too nice and you need to put your mama pants on when it comes to your husband and his godfather
My opinion: oh hellllll no. If someone I don’t know well just goes into my kids room and grabs him I’d be so mad. Even more pissed if they took him to the bed! This dude gives me such creeper vibes it’s not even funny.
I would have your husband have a talk with him. He needs to tell him it’s not okay for him to just pop up in town and he can’t come over unannounced anymore. He needs to at least give you guys a few days notice before he plans a visit. And your husband definitely needs to address him about his actions with your daughter. The things you said he has done in this post are very worrisome to me and seems weird that he did any of that. None of it is okay especially him taking your baby into bed with him. Your husband needs to nip this in the bud ASAP.
Your husband should be handling the GodFather…letting him know no more unexpected visits and no more staying with you all…He sounds like a nightmare…
U just need to to talk with your husband and the two of you set down with him and let him know whats accepted and what’s not and yes he should stay in a hotel and if u feel I’m comfortable with him being there
He sounds like either homeless or lonely
I wonder if he has a home? That is bizarre behavior.
You need to tell your husband first of all and if this ever happened with my baby I would have told that s.o.b to get the hell out of my house old school or not! That man is not right taking your baby like that!! You better say and do something now or something worse could come into play before you know it. Tell your husband your not comfortable with him coming over or staying there anymore!
Sounds like he’s lonely. I hope your daughter’s husband is kinder to you when your that age. Especially for holidays. Sounds like you have a lot of room to mature
I would have completely lost it!
I would just sit down with him and talk about boundries. Sounds like he’s lonely.
Trust your gut, something is not right here! Besides way overstepping all boundaries he has multiple times ignored your wishes and I don’t care if he’s “lonely”, staying and trying to force you guys into things isn’t right.
Your husband needs to put up boundaries immediately. Bringing your child into bed with him creeps me out! Even if a female did that I would be upset.
He could be harmless but there’s a huge possibility that it’s not. Speak up now before it gets worse.
- of he stays again then sleep in your daughter’s room with her
- hubs needs to clear things up with this guy
Do it while you’re still civil , I was trying to be kind because it was my husband’s father and one day I lost it told him to pack his f****** s*** and get out and he did. And realized my husband really didn’t have a problem with it he just couldn’t do it himself. And no I do not have relationship with his father now and I am fine with that, and so is my husband, he always ignores boundaries to everyone. Not me anymore
I honestly think you need to have an open conversation. even with him doing the stuff for your daughter he may have been just trying to help you out. I’m sure he sees that you’re stressed out and busy all the time. And it does sound like maybe he’s looking for connections with family not sure what else he all has out there not good enough information to judge.
First of all it is unhealthy and really creepy that he is in your baby girls room in the middle of the night without you and then you find the baby in bed with him. There is NO possible excuse in the world for this sadistic behavior!!!
Tell him that under NO terms will he be allowed to visit without giving you at least a weeks notice and the only available bed is on the couch not in your bed.
This all sounds really and weird
I would call the cops and tell him to leave.
In no way does he come and take the baby to his bed. That is not his baby and you dont know him from adam!
That’s scary and weird! Hes not family!
Also how can you make someone a God father without knowing them. Thats weird and scary…
Oh heck no! He took the baby in bed with him?!
Be an adult, stand up for yourself and tell him whats what
You have a problem with your husband not his God father. Your husband has a responsibility to you to make sure you are heard and respected. Sleeping on the couch. Uh hell no. Grabbing baby. No too. He should have been spoke up for his wife and child.
Your husband needs to know unannounced visits from godfather are not acceptable. He visits he sleeps on the couch or the floor. Enough the man is a bully, maybe well meaning but a bully and thoughtless. Put him in his place nicely and he learns to play nicely or he doesnt stay.
Why the fuck did he have that baby in bed? I would have pulled him out of my house by his ear and told him not to come back, that is way to far
He seems like an older guy who is lonely and looking for a relationship with his family, he seems like hes much more laid back than you so probably gives no thought to all the things you take issue with. He clearly loves yoir husband very much and wants to continue making memories with him & his family. Just as he didnt tell you when he would be leaving, you didnt ask either. You are the one who makes rules in the home, along with your husband, you can tell him that he needs to plan things ahead so you can prepare for his visit, get a mattress pad for the couch for him. Since you guys have been working it makes sense that he wants to make some more memories with you guys by going to get the tree and such, I think its great your husband has him as a godfather, the fact he is still around and wants to be a part of his life and the baby’s life is fantastic. Family is family, they are their own people who have their own styles, and we have to learn how to live with them. If you have an issue with him consoling your crying baby talk to him about it. If you have an issue with him taking the baby out of the crib, talk to him again. Its unlikely hes doing anything in a malicious way, and I do think you may be just overwhelmed with all of it but youre very focused on the negatives here, when there are a lot of positives. Take a walk in his shoes and see how it feels.
Oh My God!!! You are so nice to the point of ridiculousness.Get some cajones. Since they don’t get a hint, you are going to straight out have to say that you need prior notice of when they come, you both work and need your sleep and the baby has to have priority. Jeez! Two bachelor’s with no clue of what you are being put thru. Stake out what YOU need. Point out out you are not free as a bird, you need advanced notice and sleep. These two duffer have no clue what you must do and seem to happily ignore it’s effects. You love them to death but your life requires routine. If I was your parent, i,d have a “talk” with them about limits. SHEESH"":
Reading this I was like “WOW what a good wife you are! You put up with ALOT! Maybe talk with your husband and tell him it’s tough to have company that long, and that invasive. Just communicate your feelings and make sure your feelings are heard and respected.” TTTHHHEEENNN! You said you gave him your bed… and I was like “wait a minute?! WTH?! Why would your husband even agree to that. And why on earth would this man invites himself to your home if he can’t even sleep on the couch?! He needs to leave and not come back to spend the night again! EVER! THHHEEEENNN:bangbang: you said he went to your daughters room and not only held her at night but also put her in bed with him! Omg! NOOOOO that’s very very invasive and crossing the line! And not only that but VERY VERY VERY creepy! I would be mortified and that man would never be around me or my kids again! No way! He should never ever step foot into your daughter space without you there! No way! No no way! How the hell does he think it’s in anyway okay to take YOUR BABY to bed with him! And your husband is okay with this?! Hell no! He could have different motives. Maybe he is getting close to you guys to try and mess with your baby! No way! This sounds like a scary LifeTime movie. Get and keep him far from you and your daughter!!! I am so sorry you are going through this! But stay strong! As make sure your husband knows you need and are demanding his respect in this matter!
That’s really weird😳 a godfather is meant to be a guide… not a creepy man who takes your child to bed with him… he may have meant no harm but it sure seems strange🤔
Good luck girl I know you were glad he was gone maybe he won’t come visit for a while don’t answer the door don’t answer the phone tell your husband voicemail
i might be worst person to say this was ur baby screaming when he had her in the same bed