Nothing. You do nothing lol
He’s 4. He’ll get over it. You’re his parent and know what’s best.
Try not to take the things he says so personally, it’s not. He just doesn’t like your boundaries, which is normal.
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Be a MOTHER and do what’s best for HIM.
Yes he’s 4 normal grandparents are exciting what will they do.when he wants to become.a.transformer ? 
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Girl he’s 4. He doesn’t have a choice. Lol my son has the exact same diagnosis, diagnosed when he was 4, he’s 9 now. Girl it’s been a wild ride, we are still on!!! Prayers for you, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone 
Honey, he is 4. You are the parent (seems to be the main parent), I’m sure he will grow out of it. If they don’t make him do chores or anything else that a normal person has to do, of course he is going to say he wants to stay there. Don’t take it personally, just keep on being a good parent and teaching him what’s right 
Kids with rules feel loved, especially when they get older.
You do nothing! He’s four and not old enough to make that decision. You keep being a great mom and he will realize it when he’s older. Keep up the good work!
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He is 4, you are the adult, his parent. Take charge, with love.
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I wanted to laugh after reading this but i don’t want to be rude or insensitive. Kids are smart. Either you’re in control or they’ll control you. He’s only 4, guide him and show him that there will be consequences if he doesn’t listen to you. And tell his grandparents, uncles and whoever in your family to respect boundaries. I’d try to get him off medication - instead have him learn skills: sports, chess, tutor/class. Go hikes, beach
I think you also need to have a conversation with all of these people that are allowing him to think that he can live with them
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He’s 4.Of course he’s going to want to go where it’s fun.
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I will tell you this will be a long road! My son has adhd and ODD and a mood disorder. A lot of what is said you have to take with a grain of salt. It does get better with age. I would recommend that you start Aba therapy as soon as you can to try to get on the right track. I hope you have support with the grand parent aunts and uncles.
Rules and structure are important. He’s the child and you are the parent. As hard as it is to hear it’s normal.
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Just tell him that’s not an option but that he can visit them. You don’t have to let a 4 year old make a decision like that.
I wanted to travel with the circus when I was 4. Kinda glad my parents didn’t let me.
You are his Mother, he doesn’t get a choice.
You are the boss…simple really
You are the parent! He doesn’t have the mindset to make life decisions.
This is normal. My son is six, and I can’t count the times he has told me “I’m the worst ever”. In those moments I remember these things:
- I’m the one he runs to when he is sad, hurt, or needs a hug.
- He is THRIVING. In school and with his friends. So somewhere I’m getting something right.
- He trusts me to show me his ugliest self.
For that someday he’ll realize I was the best for him.
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He is 4! He has no choice lol be the parent.
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Today he might want to be a fireman when he grows up; tomorrow he decides that he wants to be a farmer. He’s 4!!! Kids at the age don’t know what they want from one day to the next. Plus you are his parent so start being his parent and if he doesn’t like what you tell him oh well he will just have to get over it.
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He’s 4, you have custody keep him. Teach him. He’ll be better off with structure and rules. Say no, he can visit dad. End of story.
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My 5 year old tells me sometimes he wants to live alone in our apartment. Other times he can’t even be in the living room without me cause he gets scared. Lol.
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I’m going to say that most the time they are upset In the moment and say things they don’t mean my 6 year old tells me he’s gonna run away or that my neighbor Is his mom not me I’ve has a couple of them tell me they hate me or that the6 want to live with their dad and i know it’s just in the heat of the moment
Chin up mama, your doing a good job 
How does a 4 year old have that much power???
Get used to it, kids change as they grow up. I was my son’s favorite for 6-7 years but am currently not his favorite because I expect more out of him, or as my wife says “too hard on him”. What do you do?
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He’s 4. He doesn’t get to choose what’s best for him. He’s not old enough to understand whats best. Good thing 4 year olds aren’t allowed to drive, buy guns and vote.
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What kind of rules are you setting? Because a 4 year old shouldn’t really be severely disciplined, they are still very young.
For him to want to spend so much time over there, could you relax your rules a little?
You are his mom…you make the rules…no court is going to let him decide at 4 where to live… so why would you even consider letting him? Yes he will get made when told no… but he will get over it… be mom first…friend second… not the other way around.
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Hes not even close to being old enough to make a decision like this. Kids say things like that all the time, my 4 year old has said it many times especially when he doesn’t like my rules. However it has zero substance and as his parents we would never even entertain the idea of letting him live with someone other than his PARENTS.
Are you taking your life stresses out on your 4 year old?
Are you making time for fun, for loving him?
Are you taking responsibilities for being the creator of your 4 year old?
Parental love overcomes every obstacle!!!
Be the parent!
You got this!!!
He is 4 way too young to be on meds. And way too young to know what he wants. All kids at that age are defiant and hyper. I have 5 kids myself. You need to be tougher than that and consistent. You put the rules not him.
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You are the adult he does not get to make that decision
He does not have adhd nor odd. There is some trauma involved her. That is the root cause.
He is 4 he doesn’t get a choice your his Mom act like it . Put your foot down he will thank you later
He’s probably saying that because he knows there’s no way you’re going to let him go live somewhere else because you’re his mom, he’s just trying to get you to let him do anything he wants, he knows where he belongs, with you.
He is 4………
Not 18………
Tell him NO.
You’re his parent and u make the decision ! He’s too little.
Sleep overs are ok on the weekends.
He is to young to make that decision. You are the parent/boss. Sit him down and explain that he isn’t going anywhere. If u let him tell you what he is going to do now he is going to run u over.
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What is to be confused about? He’s 4. He stays hone with you. Of course he wants to go where he’s getting spoiled and doesn’t have to pick up after himself. But he’s 4, you’re his mom. Say no, you live with me. No arguments.
When my kid was 4 he wanted to drive and live with great grandpa because he had tractors and cows. I said no. Simple as that. You’re his mother. You decide what’s best for him. He’s 4. He wants what he wants when he wants it because his brain hasn’t found logic and reasoning yet.
Try setting aside fun time just for him. Nothing to hyper but entertaining.
He’s 4 tell him to take a seat lol
Tell him he sorry he feels that way. But rules are a part of life. My 6 year old is the same way.
Next week it’ll be something else. Let it pass. He’s still so young & doesn’t understand.
When my son was 4 he wanted to go live at “Brother Joe’s” house…only problem… “Brother Joe” was his IMAGINARY FRIEND! There is no situation where a 4 year old would have the best insight into where he should live. You are the parent.
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Let him go and then when he sees how good he has it at ur house he will want to come back
This is the hard part of parenting. He only knows grandparents = fun mum = parenting. Don’t take it personally. Kids say all sorts of stuff at that age. Some kids tell their parents they hate time, they want to live with someone else etc.
They don’t have the brain capacity to think through the long term consequences of that.
Stop trying to be a friend and be a mom. If you.have legal custody then he has no choice. He will get over it. A lot of kids want to do a lot of things. They will survive if they are told no.
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He’s 4 he doesn’t get a choice, you are his mother honey
He’s 4 years old!!!It will be the biggest regret of your life. Then they will throw it in your face in years to come. “You let your son go” fight for that kid always. You are his MOM!
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Are you seriously going to let a 4 year old decide where to live?
I was a child of divorce myself. I always wanted to live with my Dad. No bed time, cake for breakfast, no chores, TV anytime I wanted, the list goes on. It was like that because I was only there 2 days a week. When I was there for longer stretches of time during the summer, that all would change. You’re his Mom. You know what’s best. Put his best interest first and take control of the situation.
He is 4 1/2…that’s all that needs to be said.
I also want to know why a child that young is medicated for adhd. Dr’s these days… Their brain is still forming and now it is forming to be dependent on medication
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You are the parent. He is the child. He can not make that decision.
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He’s four and you’re the mom.
he’s 4. he’s acting age appropriately kids need limits, boundaries, and rules. they will fight them and say things that hurt your feelings but it’s a part of growing up. you’re doing the right thing stick with it
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You just say no. Your the parent you make the rules he’s not old enough to decide where he wants to be or what’s best for him.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret, but first never take this kind of stuff to heart. He’s 4.
The secret:
Most kids, regardless of neuro type, do/say this because rules suck. Especially to young kids.
Just exsplain to him he lives with you because your his mummy and he’s to young to go live with his grandparents and daddy he’s far to young to make that choice .I certainly wouldn’t let him xx
Oh honey, kids say those things. They want to go where it’s fun but it’s our job to teach them responsibilities and to do right. He stays with you mama!
You’re the Mama, if you say he stays with you, that’s what he has to do, 4 is too young to dictate.
I feel this. Definitely normal. It’s a struggle for me.
My daughter loves her gma and I’m glad, because i was a fosterkid and didnt have loving grandparents or parents. But, when she goes on mini trips with her she comes back all sad like ‘i dont want to go with you. i want to stay with gma’ and last time she didnt even say hi to me when she came in.
But i understand they are going to have relationships and bonds outside of me, and that’s ok. I’ve tried to use that time to focus on myself or my goals/responsibilties. I also come to terms with being the default parent - by n ature of our work and schedule - while my guy is able to be the ‘fun’ parent. it’s the way it is right now. And if i stya focused on myself, speak to my therapist, and continue to be a healthy parent, she will see and appreciate that when she is older.
(I have a son too, but he’s only 9 months, so there’s no worry about this with him just yet)
My 4yr old wants to b a unicorn…he’s 4. It’s ur job as his Mama and make the hard choice, the ones that don’t necessarily make them happy in the moment
Girl… hello, you are the mom… alkids like going to their grandparents but that doesn’t mean yoy let them live there. He is 4. Come on man. We are taking this, allowing children. To make their own decisions a little too far…
You’re the parent not him. Put your foot down.
He is 4 1/2 he has no say as to where he lives, sounds to me he is spoiled and use to getting his way.put your foot down you are his caregiver and mother.
He’s 4 and of course he’s going to wanna be were it’s easier and no rules. What u say goes x
Did they raise him? Is he with them more then you? If thats the case then thats why.
Who’s the adult here? You should be able to keep control. Explain to the child that he can visit and stay with Daddy and grandparents on weekends and some holidays or special days but until he is of the age to make sound decisions about his care, he will be staying with you. Don’t forget to always tell him you love him and only want what is best for him.
That’s the problem with the youth of today…YOU ARE NOT HIS BEST FRIEND…YOU ARE HIS MOTHER…this includes TEACHING( showing and guiding ) HIM ALL THE THINGS HE NEEDS TO GROW UP TO BE A MAN WITH MANNERS , RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITIES TO/FOR HIMSELF & OTHERS & TO BE INDEPENDENT. ALSO THAT LIFE IS NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES:bangbang:
I Speak from experience, My oldest grandson, has Aspbergers hi functioning on the Autism Spectrum. With OUT DRUGS TO COVER IT UP. I was a “Nanny” while his Dad & step Mom worked, and I lived with them. It wasn’t easy, we all agreed with the professionals to stay strong & be known to the rest of the family as " too strict". His other Grandparents did more spoiling than I ever did…but they only had him for visits.But usually followed the guide lines set by the parents. He wasnt treated any different than other kids. He had household " chores" as most call them, but in our home its old fashioned do your share a you are a part of the family.IF He made bad choices, as he got older, he paid the consequences…ignore or break a house rule…loose a prized possession and earn it back. Horse around in school…same thing. School work came before any other activity.grades fall…so did this off time and privileges
. Well, as of today , he has grown up to become a very smart, capable young man, he graduated from high school, went to trade school with a schalorship. He has a full time job…(not flipping burgers) a new car that he is paying for on his own & all the responsibilities.of owning one including the insurance with his own policy. .knows how to clean house, cook, in other words …he is just as normal as the kids he graduated with…Doctors, Lawyers Teachers, etc. You just keep doing like you are…dont give up on him & give in‼️Some call it TOUGH LOVE
If someone you trust offers help, by all means accept it. My guy had a teacher he really looked up to and who helped him with his school work and not feel embarrassed, if he was having difficulty where the rest of the class sailed right through.
.
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You make the rules. Not the Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, etc. Make sure they get enforced.
You’re the adult… easy tell him no
I didn’t know we let a 4 year old tell you what he wants to do now:thinking:
you are the parent stand your ground he is too young to tell you otherwise. I also have a 4 year old and while he is bossy, he definitely doesn’t run any adult lol
You cannot feel hurt for this. My daughter went through this stage and now my second daughter is starting to talk about how my best friends house is her home My first has told me she wants to be my sisters kid. I promise it is just a stage! Just like the terrible twos they will outgrow it. Us mommas set boundaries and rules so we can raise good humans while the aunts and uncles and friends or grandparents are fun. Just think of it this way… your son has good relationships with his family that’s more than a lot of kids get.
Unmmm he’s 4! He stays with u with your rules.
U are in charge not him
Not to sound rude but, HES FOUR. He doesn’t have a choice 
lol
You’re the parent. Of course he’s gonna be upset with you for making him follow rules, that’s part of being a parent.
YOU are the PARENT, he is 4 yrs old. You tell him when he’s old enough to get HIMSELF up and ready for school it can be discussed. UNTIL that day arrives it’s business as usual MOM
It is probably a phase that he is going through. He needs the structure you are providing for him. Like you mentioned, something he is not going to get with his grandparents.
Hang in there.
He’s 4. You don’t let him him choose.
My daughter is also 4 and gets sad leaving her dads but also is excited to come back to our house. She’s told me she wants to stay with daddy but I know it’s because he just lets her sit on a tablet all day and we don’t let her do that here. Kids will always want to be around the “fun” parent until they get a little older. I wouldn’t take it personally he’s 4
Are we for real right now? My 4 year old wanted to do all kinds of stuff that was either impossible or bad for her… they’re little kids. They say and do some weird stuff 
What you do: empathize and validate his feelings without accommodating his feeling. “I love that you have so much fun with your grandma, dad, etc. I know it can be hard to go from having so much fun to having rules but rules are good for us and keep us healthy. I love you so much and am so glad you are with me” something like that.
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if your the parent that’s wtf u do. tell he’ll him tough, you 4.5 and you love w parent lol … why is this a question? lol
He’s 4. He doesn’t have any decision making capacity where he lives at this age
Hes 4 tell him come back to u when is 18
Keep your son. He is 4 for Christ sake
This is a normal child behaviour my 2 still do this n they are older,. kids will 100% want to go where its more fun and less rules but as parents its our job to give them rules and boundaries were not here to be their friends thats what our grandkids are for 
He’s 4. He doesn’t know what he wants. Why are you even questioning it???
He’s 4 he doesn’t get the option to decide anything maybe talk with the other family members and see y’all could all get on the same page when it comes to these things
He doesn’t get that choice right now he’s way to young(unless there was some sort of abuse) when he turns 11 or 12 it should be his choice.
You’re his mother , you decide he’s only 4
As someone who has worked with children this age, have children this age and a degree in early childhood development I HAVE to say that this is a communication issue.
He doesn’t know how to communicate that he’s upset about certain things that bother him. Either because he has lack of ability cognitively or because he simply doesn’t have the skills linguistically- there’s a huge spectrum. Acting out can also be a problem in communication.
I would sit down and talk with him calmly and ask him what are some things he would change in the house? What are some things he loves about his house? Etc- pick his brain. Although you won’t be able to meet all of a 4.5 year olds requests I believe you’ll find out something’s about how he feels that may be legitimate.
On another note you should talk to the other adults and ask that they support you in having structure for him by following house rules, bedtimes etc or he cannot go over for a long period of time.
He’s 4… he can’t decide yet he’s to young. Sure he’s going to say that! Way to young though
You are the parent don’t allow it to happen.
He’s 4. Of course he doesn’t wanna do anything. What child does. He’ll get over it !
I’m in agreement with everyone else. My 9 year old GD wanted to live with her Dad. So now she is and he won’t let her have any of her things from home. He has turned on us. No phone calls nothing. It’s heart breaking. She was brainwashed and now it’s not so fun anymore.
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His 4. Kids tend to say that kind of stuff when they don’t get there own way!
You are the mom.he is 4.he has no choice in the matter.end of story.
Do you need a reminder that you’re the parent?
Um ok he’s 4 he doesn’t get to decide
He is. A Child he don’t get to make the decisions. Be the parent
He’s 4. He has no choice where to live.