You are trying to actually raise your young son, while all those others are just letting him
Do as he pleases. Of course he likes that. So just keep him at home and stay on your ideas of how to raise him, nobody loves a spoiled rotten child or adult.
He is 4, what you can do is be his parent 
You are his parent. Get it together and set ground rules with everyone. He is only 4 and is not old enough to make that decision. I would also suggest taking him off those meds. IMO . I know personally what they do to children of that age. And the meds make them zombies then like insane crazies.
My son is 6 and has been saying for years he wants to live with his gram. I don’t take offense to it of course he doesn’t have rules there but it would change if he actually lived there and he’d eventually start missing me lol
As a seasoned mom of 5. 3 of which are in their mid to late 20’s. Kids are gonna say the most inconsiderate things to hurt you. From 4 until they are 40. You’ll have to toughen up before puberty cuz I swear they try and kill us with words! He’s 4. He doesn’t have a clue what he’s asking for. From some of the comments above, even if he’s 13,16 whatever. He doesn’t get a say unless someone in the court is asking for his opinion.
Really 4 1/2. Who rules the roost?
It’s literally 4 years old, you make the rules. This is ridiculous 
You’re the mom. A 4 year old does not get to dictate to you where he’s going to live or with whom.
He is four years old.are you kidding me right now. You need to grow up and be a mom and keep him right where he is in your house. Of course he gets visits and gets to see them. I can’t even believe you are question what to do.
He is 4…4 year olds will always have ‘behaviors’ and usually I keep my mouth shut about certain things…but get him OFF OF those meds and TEACH him some coping mechanisms that will help him…my kid and I have lived with my parents on and on for the last 3 years because of a bad relationship I was in-and im glad I didn’t listen to anyone about her going on stuff. It’s hard when others feel the need to be so involved that it starts to feel like it wouldn’t matter if you were there or not: you are the mom. Your kid will understand why you are the way you are as they grow-and don’t take this wrong-but step tf up for your kid. Other wise it will be a HUGE battle. If family is causing more issues you need to separate it…create a routine that will be beneficial to both of you…
You are the mom and he is the child. He is only 4 so if course he wants to go where he can get away with things but that in no way means you need to entertain this.
At 4 my child wanted to live in the paw patrol town. He would tell me 50 times a day and I would simply say I know you do buddy but I would miss you to much. It’s just what they do. They aren’t able to make good choices for them selves, you stay doing what ur doing and the child stays living with you.
They also like to eat dirt pies think ear wax is cool and sometimes if your real lucky they want to inspect dog poop. They will also eat paste if given the chance point is they just can’t.
Another wanted to live with strawberry shortcake and my oldest wanted to live in a dog house outside 
Your child can’t legally decide they want to live somewhere else. Lol Seriously, he’s 4.
He’s 4 he doesn’t get his wants always, he gets his needs met, not his decision
He’s 4 try not to be heartbroken when he says stuff like this because most kids (mine included) say this. If I had a dollar for every time my son said he didn’t love me anymore or wanted to go live with someone else I would be rich.
I know there are some other “Soft Parents” that will not agree with me but I do not care!Ummm no offense but grow a back bone, be a Mother and take control. All of this soft parenting bs and having a FOUR YEAR OLD tell YOU what to do is ridiculous and coming to Facebook like “Oh no what do I do!?” Like WTF? You are raising this child for the rest of the world to deal with. So put your big girl panties on and take control. Being a parent is rewarding but HARD WORK! We don’t get participation trophies for being a parent. Your trophy is the one you raised. So make you trophy shine Mama!
He’s 4 he also eats boogers. Sorry kiddo you don’t get a choice.
He’s 4 lol…My 4 year old tells me she wants to get on a plane and go across the country to live with her grandma, doesn’t mean it’s happening. 
Little dude needs to do his chores and sit his butt down.
My daughter says the same thing. I just make her realize what she’d be losing
You need to be the parent.
Not any one else.
You will regret it later down the road.
You’re the adult…he doesn’t get to choose where he lives…why is this even a question.
He’s four, really no choice there !
You’re speaking as if he is the deciding party here. Do you currently have custody of him? If so do you live in your own or with family? This is so confusing.
So I am confused - is this just a want or you allowing this? Because I want a lot of thing that aren’t actually good for me. At 4, I do not have the ability to understand and comprehend what the best choices are for my life down stream. Shoot I am 45 and I don’t want to pay my mortgage but I also don’t want to be homeless.
This will NOT be the last time your kiddo hurts your feeling and or pride! This is ALL part of parenting. My teen wanted to live with her drug addict father because he doesn’t “have rules and won’t ruin my life.”
You are the adult and you understand reality and it’s your job. YES JOB- to enforce and create ad healthy life for this kid. Welcome to parenthood, in love I say- buckle up!
Until he is 12-14 depending on state/location he has no say and at 4 he isn’t old or mature enough to have a say. You are the parent. If him at 4 saying he wants to live with someone else breaks your heart and shuts you down you may want to start better preparing yourself for the preteen/teen “I hate you” phase. Next time he says it simply tell him that it is not an option or better yet totally ignore it and continue being the parent and doing what’s best for him.
I had the same problem with my daughter and I used her toys on the floor as an advantage— I pretended to fall and hurt my ankle, started crying and fake hobbled. I explained to my daughter that toys need to be picked up because mommy is old and we don’t want mommy tripping on toys and hurting her ankle. It worked. Of course she became a nurse and had to tend to my booboo. As a parent you have to be a little creative in disciplining your child. Don’t worry about other family members— you will be fine 
He’s only 4. It’s normal for kids to say stuff like that doesn’t mean it’s true
He’s 4…take him off the meds and play with him…
Why is this even a question or an issue? You are the parent, the person in charge of raising a child and he the child. The end.
Is this post for real? Lol
This is ridiculous… He’s 4
He’s 4, they will go with a stranger. What the heck did I just read? He’s not going anywhere. Keep him home
I think this question would be better suited for an ADHD group. And therapy for the little one. That’s honestly what I did when mine started acting out and being aggressive towards other kids like pushing them in line at school.
Are you sick, disabled, unable to care for your son? If not then your son has no say in the issue. Grow up and be a parent, you are responsible for his health, and welfare not for giving in to his whims. Children often think living somewhere else is better than following the rules. He can have friends or relatives but they are NOT his parent.
Ummm they don’t get a choice at 4. I’m confused here… who is the parent? Cause it’s time you act like it.
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Why would your 4 year old have the decision? Lol
I would say great, I also want a million dollars to help pay bills and a live in maid. Sadly, we do not always get what we want and we all have responsibilities.
Then take this opportunity to talk about responsibilities. What if you stopped paying the bills? Cooking supper? Cleaning the house? Doing laundry? Wouldn’t that suck for him?
He’s 4, this is normal. Don’t read too much into it
This is a joke, right? This cannot be a serious post.
Who’s letting a 4 year old choose who they want to live with 
This is the story of every 4 year old .They are 4 ,they don’t get to decide .You are the parent - you decide .Do not take it personal as you can see every mother has been there .
Have him evaluated by a behavioral pediatrician or a neurologist. In a comprehensive report it can lay put certain factors about his health, including structure being very important to him. He needs to be evaluated by the school district for an IEP-individualized education plan before he starts school. At 4 1/2 he can not make the decision where to live. If he has rules and structure at your home and it isn’t reinforced at his grandparents and he does not have his own bedroom space, no judge will force that. Hire a lawyer. Go to your local legal aide society nearest you for help if you can’t to spend a lot of money. You need a legal parenting plan established.
So sorry kids with these disorders seems to think somewhere else is better with no rules my 20yr old is still defient and don’t care that he has rules to abide by with things that happened when he left our house at 16
Hello? He’s far 2young 2decide where he wants 2live.knowing he needs medical attention/appointments/medication.he stays put with his parents. Grandparents/aunts n uncles need 2deaw da line.by spoiling him.going against what’s right is not loving him or helping him. Get the necessary authority involved. When he’s bigger 2understand tge situation. Then there’s a bargain with him. For betterment 4 you n child.be stern n set da records straight
Try being the parent and saying absolutely not!
This can’t be real 
First of all, I have a son with ADD and ODD who is now 23. He should have been diagnosed with Asperger’s too but he didn’t test on the spectrum. When I got divorced, he would have no rules at dad’s and then come home and it was a disaster trying to enforce the rules at my house. I was also working and exhausted. My ex and I could never co-parent very well because our relationship had broken down so much. All I can tell you is I did the best I could, I kept at it…you have to keep enforcing rules because that’s what they need to feel safe though they don’t even realize it. They don’t have a choice really at that age where to live, they just need to be in the most stable living situation
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4year olds don’t get to make major decisions
Ummm what? Please tell me you weren’t ACTUALLY debating on how this could work out. I couldn’t tell you between my 3 kids how many times I’ve been told they didn’t wanna live with me anymore, but it has not once crossed my mind to allow them to live with someone else. You have rules for your child to follow ND they should do just that. I honestly hope this is an actual joke. BE THE PARNT, PIT YOUR FOOT DOWN!
Please don’t take this wrong… but he is 4.5yrs old… he doesn’t get to make that choice. My son is almost 15, and I’m pretty sure just last week he said he wanted to go live with his grandma when he had to do the dishes and clean his room - and I’m here to tell you, he still lives with us and life has continued. It’s normal… I mean, just stop and think about it factually/logically… wouldn’t you want to go live somewhere where you get your way and don’t have to do anything you don’t want to? Of course you would. Anyone would. You’re the mom and the boss, he doesn’t get to make those decisions. Hang in there, momma… he’s going to say that, and all kinds of crazy and hurtful things, throughout this parenting journey - let him voice his feelings, but make sure you’re reacting rationally… even entertaining the idea of giving a 4.5yr old baby the say in a situation like this - is not a rational reaction.
If u don’t have any papers stating you have to let him go then he wouldn’t be going.
He’s 4. Of course he wants to live where he has more fun and less rules. Why take it personally when he’s little and incapable of making any sort of responsibile decision. U really expected him to choose you? 
He’s literally FOUR! time to toughen up mom, just wait for the teen yrs! Guess what, YOU make the rules so it doesn’t really matter where he wants to live. Put his lil bad ass to bed and have a glass of wine cuz ur doing a great job. Mommin aunt easy. But it’s all worth it I promise. I have a 19 yr old that I thought I’d never survive getting her to adulthood. (I also have 7 yr old twins)
Don’t give him the choice….keep making the rules, showing him responsibility, along with love and guidance….he will grow up,to be a good,caring,responsible adult. Living with his Dad, sleeping with his Grandparents, having no rules or responsibilities or consequences is NOT what you want for your child. Hugs to you,Mama,life is hard sometimes.
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4 year olds don’t get to choose where they live……
HE’S 4! There is no question. Be a damn mom!
Oh Jesus. Quit this gentle parenting doing what the kid wants!!! He’s 4! When my kid was 4 he wanted to do a lot of stupid stuff that would have hurt him. The answer is no. PERIOD. You’re the mom and the boss and that’s what goes.
Your kid is 4. He doesn’t get a say about where he gets to live. Tell him sucks to suck, but following rules is a part of life and being part of a society.
Confused? You are his mother. He’s 4. He’s not going anywhere!
What? A 4yo doesn’t have this kinda pull. Unless you give him up, that’s your child. Legot your talking crazy
Having your kid on adhd meds at 4 is wild 
at that age, they’re supposed to be hyper, especially boys. As for him wanting to live elsewhere, again he’s 4. He doesn’t get to make those decisions.
Hes too ypung to make that decision. He lives with you thats is what it is. My 3 yr old told me yesterday i was a bad mom because i didnt let her open the door. Lol keep doing what youre doing. And he lives with you. He needs your stucture and those rules to develop into a good young man. Dont doubt that EVER!
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Why are you letting 4 yr old dictate to you what he wants who cares what he wants be his parent not his friend. And stop feeling guilty about you caring what’s best for me
So, I think most divorced parents go through this from one time or another. When my kids said this (many years ago), I told them that there home was with me, and my heart would be broken into a zillion pieces if they left. I also told them, that they could see their dad whenever they wanted, but to live with him full time was something that would not happen, unless they were old enough to take care of themselves because he was so busy. I told them that if they wanted to go stay with them at the age of 16, then I would not object. Now, what happened in my case, is that when my daughter turned 16, she absolutely, positively did NOT want to move to his house. My son did. But, it was a complete and total disaster! He never graduated from High School!!! I would never in a million years let that happen again. Remember, you are your kids mother. NOBODY can replace you, your nurturing, your concern, your rules and teaching. Nobody.
I am hoping this is a typo and she meant to say 14 not “4”…. Because 
Why would you let a 4yr old make that descion. His 4, your job as a mom is to make the best descions for him. period
I mean…doesn’t every little kid like going to grandma’s or cousins because it’s more fun? My little brother has adhd and odd, at 3/4 yrs old he was telling us he wanted to kill us and hated us, I think I’d rather hear he wanted to be at grandma’s 
if it really bothers you, find a way to transition him back to your room but honestly you should probably appreciate the help more because if his ODD gets worse you’re going to need support. He’s 4, obviously he doesn’t get to make that choice just like we don’t let kids that young pick snacks over meals just because they want them more
Ancestral is now Canceled in Jesus mighty name Amene
That boy would suck it up.
Questions like these make me seriously concerned for kids…
Obviously you’re not a very good parent if you think your small child can decide who to live with
He is 4 and half why is this a debate? Why are you letting the thinking of a 4 year old upsetting you?
You tell your son no that’s what you do. He’s 4 years old of course he wants to live with other people who don’t make him learn responsibilities. Like cmon use your brain and realize that your 4 year old is your son and your son only plus his dads not anybody else’s child. Your son doesn’t get to tell you he doesn’t want to live with you anymore and wants to live with other ppl. Guess what ?? Too bad.
My son is 10 has adhd I gave him until 5 to play then homework time he wanted to argue about homework he hates me don’t want to live with me anymore I’m a bitch and he slapped me. I told him news flash I’m all he has. He may feel he wants to live with them but he will want to be back with u after a week
Why are you and your family even entertaining the idea? Do you have a parenting support worker? If not… maybe you should look into that.
Get your kid off drugs and grow up. Smh
This post is VERY much not real. At 4 they WILL NOT put a child on meds for ADHD/ODD. Literally can’t until they are 7 will fuck them up. And if it is real and you even consider any of this, you really shouldn’t be a parent and yeah he’d be better off without you cause you’re clearly not all there if you’re letting a fucking 4 YEAR OLD dictate your life.
Do you have full custody? If so it’s not really up for discussion. A 4 year old does not get to decide those things. Talk to his grandparents, and let them know if he is going to continue going over there they need to have the same rules. Is he in therapy? If he has ODD he should be. Have the therapist help you deal with this issue.