I am losing feelings for my fiance....advice?

Not necessarily “Mom” related but I wanted advice. I’m losing feelings for my fiancé we have 2 kids together and been together 3.5 years. How do I really go about starting the conversation that I’m losing feelings? I just want to say it in the easiest way possible without sounding too harsh about it.

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I think its normal to have feelings like this occasionally, definitely take some time to your selves and time together :heart:

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The honeymoon phase has ended as my mom would say and this feeling is not that uncommon. Being parents are draining and can make it hard to focus on your relationship. Maybe you guys need some alone time to rekindle that spark. See if you can find a sitter. Do something fun together after the kids go to bed.

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I would just sit em down and let them know you wanna talk about yalls relationship bc you feel like you’ve hit a wall and don’t know why if it’s just out of nowhere or if it’s been that way for a while ,talk about trying counseling and what might can help better yalls relationship or bring the spark back and after trying those things if you still feel that way talk about just ending things .

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You make yourself reconnect, this is a real deal relationship and kids are involved. You make the time and effort. The grass is not greener on the other side. It is work and effort, don’t base it off of changing feelings. Also, kids change everything. You have to date again and for all the years to come.

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Plan date nights atleast once every 2 weeks. Do things that you use to do each together. Plan a weekend getaway every few months. Make time after the kids go to bed for mommy and daddy time.

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Well first thing first I think that you should tell him first before you tell the world

Love isn’t a feeling it’s a choice. You need to figure out if you can choose to love him again or not and what effort that would be needed to help you to choose love and put in that work on your part and talk to him about what you need from him! If you can’t and don’t want to put in the effort or to choose to love him then you need to walk away as that’s not fair to him (not you) at all. Move on so he can find someone who can and will love him.

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See if you can get to a couples councilor. Both of you read the book love languages. This is a normal progression; the ups and downs of a mature relationship. Get some alone time scheduled in, and work on saving this family. The two of you can do it if you both are willing to put the work in.

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You don’t say that. You say you want to connect more. Make time where you both put the phone down. Be intentional with your time. Plan dates. Make out like teenagers. Whether it’s a walk in the park, movie at home or fancy dinner. Do things for him you did in the beginning and vice versa. “Roomate” stages are normal. It’s what you do about it that matters.

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Tell the truth. Don’t sugarcoat it. There’s no right time or place for these types of conversations. Just don’t let your partner hanging by not letting them know sooner than later. Not all relationships are survivable. Sure you could always try to work on things to see if you can gain those feelings back as others have suggested but you need to sit them down and do it now.

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The grass ain’t greener on the other side the honey moon bit is over. Having kids changes your life it can be exhausting challenging and rewarding. Find time to rekindle go out on a date dinner together have some one baby sit the kids you both have to work at it together.

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Work it out for your babies!

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Go to therapy together and separately

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Counseling will help you both to understand where you are coming from and where you are going.

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Hit a rough patch in my marriage about 3 years in where I was struggling with my feelings. I was honest with my husband and told him what I needed and didnt need. He was hurt but i did my best to assure him that it was a ME thing and I just needed to sort it out. It passed and its never happened again. Married 10.5 years now.

When a family is started its common to have your supply of love diluted because you have spread it out over more people but a very rewarding path is to produce more love not ration it and look for areas to cut back

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You need to ask yourself if you want to work on it or not first? If you want to keep the relationship I’d start with that when you discuss it and figure out ways together to keep the relationship alive. I’ve been with my partner for 7 years now and we still flirt a lot, banter etc… If hasn’t always been easy but I’ve fought like hell through the hard times because our relationship on a whole is worth it and I keep nothing from him. We talk all the time about how we feel etc so we don’t feel apart. On the days (or sometimes weeks!) I feel like we’re pulling away I pretty much can rant each evening about what I don’t like etc but he listens and we get through it and I do the same for him. I think every relationship is a huge work in progress no matter what stage you’re in so personally I’d definitely decide if you’re going to try and work through it or not before you discuss it xx

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You have to work hard on any relationship. You have two kids together get counseling for your children’s sake.

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People give up on relationships so easy and quickly nowadays…if there’s no physical emotional or mental abuse involved, then try and think about what attracted you to him in the first place, and swing around that for awhile. I don’t believe in staying in a relationship for kids sake, because the tension in that between you two would not help, since kids sense this, and react in certain(negative) ways over it…So what caused you to fall for him in the first place, start there…

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Go back to the feelings you have when you guys are new. Think about good stuff. You have kids together. List the pros and cons. If you need counseling then do it. Nowadays, it’s easy to throw away relationship based on feelings alone. Be committed

Is love a feeling or a choice? Is the feeling normally assosiated with love infatuation?

Have you read about the 5 stages of a relationship?

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Just tell him . That’s what I did

Losing feelings vs losing all feelings means there is still a chance to work things out. Explain to him what you need and see what happens. Maybe he’s got some issues too?

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Is there something he’s doing or not doing that’s the issue? Is he an equal parent and an equal partner?

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Well 3 and half years and 2 kids…yall didn’t get much time together before you added 2 more little humans who depend on you for everything in the relationship…I would not just give up…I would like lots of people have said “Start Dating” each other…make time for one another that doesn’t include the kids…you and him need to have a REAL conversation…before just walking away

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Welcome to a grown up relationship. They aren’t easy and they take work. Express how you’re feeling to your partner in a healthy way the things that you aren’t happy with AND WORK ON THEM!

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Is it possible you haven’t had enough time for each other? And maybe it just feels that way. I only say this because you say you have been together 3.5 years and have 2 children. You have spent half your relationship pregnant and the rest rasing babies. You both had a massive change in your lives. I can sort of relate (I didn’t lose feelings). I was with my other half ( been together 11 years) 8 months when I miscarried, then 13 months later our son was born, then 11 months later our daughter then 2 years later our son (who’s special needs). Its been really testing at points. It’s exhausting raising babies and toddlers both mentally and physically. You don’t feel like yourself for quite a while (so I found anyway).

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Like everyone already said plan more dates. Date your partner again also hormones play a huge factor if u just had a baby or even got on birth control you can become unattracted and even hate your partner. No relationship is perfect.

Talk to your partner and be open and honest about the way you feel . You all can come together to reignite the spark that you maybe loosing . Having kids changes things . But you all need to make time for each other even if it’s just the small things . We have a monthly date night with no kids where we can just be us and have no worries . If that’s hard wait for the kids to go to bed do a late night movie or something romantic.

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Are there particular reasons ? Ex…not helping around the house…no physical attraction… doesnt prioritize you ? Maybe write down some things and read it to him…ask for the things you need. You made a vow til death do us part. Gotta work through it girl ! :gift_heart::gift_heart:

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Lol just leave like normal free to go nothing in writing

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Your choice… Be single parent or feel like that forever. I chose single parent but was that right choice? Idk

Start dating him again. Tell him that you feel there is too much distance between you and that you would like to work on it.

I agree about getting a sitter and start having date nights, kids take a toll on relationships and you can lose focus on your partner, just remember when the kids are grown and leave the nest it’s just going to be you and your partner again. So if your willing work on it now, if not than no need to get married

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Your internal dialogue has already made it too harsh. Its not losing feelings you just don’t care enough to connect. Do your fiance a favour and move over so they can find someone who cares.

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Tell him you moved too quickly. 3.5 years would be when you fully know someone and would begin building a family. Base it on psychology. “We prematurely and emotionally proceeded before we organically got there”.

A baby always makes me lose feelings for my partner, try dating each other again and see if that helps

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Rip the bandaid off,
Tell him how you and it’s no longer working for you and you want out
Don’t beat around the bush

That’s because the honeymoon phase ended. You have two kids together but have only been together 3 1/2 years so you really did not have a ton of time to just build that foundation. Obviously everyone build it at a different speed but statistically it’s accurate. Try counseling… Try going on mandatory dates more often… Reflecting on why you love him. And definitely communicating to him but I would not say you’re losing feelings. That may be an irreversible comment that messes him up too. Love is a choice. Chose to make it work :heart:

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First of all, realize that you may just be falling into a comfortable relationship.

There comes a point in a relationship when you lose that heart racing, exciting kind of feeling and just settle in to knowing where home is. It doesn’t necessarily mean you care less. In fact, it can mean you care even more, and feel secure, and as a result, you’re at a safe time to just… be.

Make sure you actually don’t want a future before acting, as there may be no turning back.

Then, all you can do is sit and be as gentle yet brutally honest as possible.

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Bible says DO NOT GO ON FEELINGS. FEELINGS ARE DECEPTORS OF MAN

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I think honestly if you have 2 kids and he is still a fiancé, you weren’t commited to begin with.

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She’s not interested anymore she’s done why is everyone trying to convince her otherwise

Run away now don’t look back

I feel sorry for the kids.

Is there someone else? I’m not trying to be funny. It’s just so many times people lose feelings when there’s someone else that they’re attracted to instead of working on their own relationship and usually find it wasn’t worth it and lose what they already had that was great with regret.

And this is why most relationships die and dont work out.

The honeymoon phase has ended, yall are parents now and it’s just over. Not willing to try and work on the relationship, rekindle things, talk with fiance about it. Just done and over with. Feelings with come and go, they are just that way. We go through so many feelings and emotions a day. But being in love and making a relationship last until “death do us part” needs time and work.