My LO is 7wks, and I will be going back to work in January. I also have an older daughter (10 yrs). With my older daughter, my grandmother has kept her from the time she was a newborn till now and we haven’t ever had an issue (other than this past year) my grandmother had a few health issues but swears she’s fine… (let me just stop everyone really quick and say… my grandmother is my everything! She raised me; she is more of a mother than I’ve ever had. Her health is my no.1 priority, and if she ever said she couldn’t or just didn’t want to keep my kids, then I’d find another option. We also pay her and make sure she is well taken care of. So no judging) Back to this… my grandmother IS getting older (69) her health isn’t where it was 10yrs ago. She has a bit of trouble hearing (getting her hearing aids), and she’s on the heavier side. She wants to keep our new bundle of joy when I go back to work. My, I’m a nervous wreck!!! I’m scared she won’t hear her if she chokes or can’t breathe or something… I’m also concerned about how the heck she’s going to carry a car seat with a baby too and from the car when going to get my other daughter. My husband keeps telling me not to stress it, we will talk about it when the time comes, but we have like 3wks!! We need to figure this out NOW! Do I change things and let her keep our LO? Or try talking to her (hoping I don’t break her heart) and have someone else keep her during the day? TIA
I think you answered your own question 
if your having doubts than follow that motherly instinct
Stop stressing like your husband says. Grandmas and grandpa’s are the best at babysitting!! My parents baby sat into their 80s!! No one will love your kids more than you other than grandparents!! Keep it in the family!!
I think Grandma needs to be talked to not us.
How about 1 or 2 days out off the time your working and put baby in daycare the rest of the time.
Get her one of those stroller that the car seat attaches too. The light one that is basically a frame. Your 10 year old will help her
Do what your heart is telling you but you’re going to hurt Grandma feeling
Does she depend on the money you pay her?
You trust her enough to let her drive with your 10 yr old, you’re getting her hearing aids, what are you so worried about? Get her a car seat that can stay in the car so it is installed correctly, and she doesnt have to move it.
Family is best. You never know about day care or sitters. Also, 69 is not that old. It seems like it is, but older people are healthier and more active now. She will have her grandchild’s well-being her first priority.
I would put the baby elsewhere and let your grandma continue caring for your daughter. They can continue what has to be a wonderful relationship, enjoy all the activities that they are used to. Your grandma will be ok with it even if she says she wants the baby. She is saying that more for you than her. She loves you and wants to do all she can to make your life easier. I’m a grandma raised 3 grandkids and I’m your grandma’s age
Honestly… I would stick with Grandma… get a bassinet to put in the room where she spends the day.
Can you change the pickup arrangement for your daughter?
Talk to the school and tell them your Granmother needs assistance …and have then walk your 10 yr old to the car… or get her a special pickup place.
As for worrying that the little one won’t have constant attention… well daycare won’t get you the kind of attention Grandma is going give.
Fine another family member that has some time to help grandma out. One that you can trust. Mybe they will help you out.
Id have to say find another sitter for the new baby 
if your having that many doubts( which are reasonable) then I wouldn’t take the risk. I’m more on the paranoid side of things though. Baby choking an g- ma not hearing scares the scrap out of me! You know your g ma best… How are her reflects? Is more laid back or will she be checking the baby all the time… Those are my only worries:) hopefully it works out.
My grandma watched my babies up until her late 70s. She’s my world. And when she couldn’t anymore she said she couldn’t and Hayes that she couldn’t do what she once had. That was okay, she lived with my mom and “watched” my baby still and when she couldn’t she called my mom.
Maybe you could do daycare 1 or 2 days to give Grandma a break
Be truthful and honest.Explain while you trust her explicitly a small baby is just too much for her.Its just a physical and age reason.Even a fit healthy woman her age would struggle.However when baby is older you can look at it again,but for now no xx
You could start early with trial runs.
69 is not that old!!! I’m 68 and can walk to and from a car carrying a 50 pound box! I’m overweight and slightly hard of hearing, have 2 bad knees. But I stay active! Yes I’ve had pneumonia 4 months ago. I recovered!!! Don’t sell her short!!!
Look for extra car seat n put in her car that’s one remedy solved ? I got 1 for me n kids got theirs n I’m 57 hearing bad n health issues but God is good n have faith pray ;”) things will be ok 
if you feel unsure after week r so then look for other options
being around little ones keeps a person young, don’t sell her short. See if she can carry baby and bag from house to car and if she does, give it a go.
69 isn’t old, completely deaf women raise babies, and get a stroller.
Your ten year old can walk to the car and get in without grandma having to get out. She can also help check on baby.
My mother in law is 66 and she’s super active. She works full time, has her own house and truck and is always on the go. She’s amazing. But her knees do bother her sometimes but she’s great with the kiddos and we love her sooooo much. Give her a chance, it may work. If anything changes maybe make arrangements elsewhere if you notice it’s too much for her to handle.
I’m 52. My daughter has a 2 and 1 year old. I live an hour and half away and visit as often as I can. My grandbabies are adorable and I love them dearly but a day spent with them is exhausting. I work full time and I’m a fit and healthy 52 yr old but not as energetic as I used to be.
A newborn is not a ball of energy but they grow up very fast.
As a grandmother, I would suggest splitting the care up with day care to give nanna a break.
Can your 10 year old take the school bus… it would help eliminate her having to carry the baby in the car seat to and from the car and instead just use a stroller to meet your daughter at the stop maybe…
Can she not leave the car seat in the car and just take the baby out?
I know this is tough. Since your baby can’t fend for themselves, that should be your top priority. Newborns need a lot of attention, period. Look at what you have told us in your statement. You can put an extra seat in the car, she won’t have to CARRY one. But can you accommodate ALL of the necessary details to assure both baby and gran will be safe and functional in three weeks? You adore your grandma, you are your baby’s protector.ijs
If you can afford it, I suggest getting a doona infant sear because it goes from infant seat to stroller so easily it might be a good option for now?
Maybe do a tryout, where you are there with her and the baby, but you ask her to take over for a couple hours so you can make sure she can do these things. Keep a pack n play in the same room with her if you are nervous about her hearing, etc. It may calm your nerves, or it may show you things you never thought of.
Have her do it part of the time to not overwhelm her and use your other options. Or while your older child is in school use a daycare and when your grandmother picks up the older child, have her pick up your LO at that point. This way your older child is there as well to help.
I had this same issue. I just simply let my Grandmother know that it’s concerning not personal. She was sad but understanding. Make sure she knows that she can still see the baby anytime y’all are free (if you’re okay with that)
Maybe do 1 day with grandma and the rest with someone else, tell grandma you don’t want to overwork her.
Talk to her. Get feed back from her. Have her build up. Start part time, before its fulltime.
Babies dont do much for it to be a concern.
Give her a trial run before you go back to work anf she how it works out.
If you could just find transportation for your 10 year old Grandma should be able to do fine with the baby. I’m her age.i had to quit doing the car seat thing years ago! I wouldn’t trust anyone else with a newborn.
Yes I would give her a trial run I’m 83 years old and I take care of two of my great-grandkids both of Junior high
I’m going through this now with a family member.
Have a test run. Go over for the day and see how your grandmother goes. If you are satisfied then let her if you are not then sit down and have a chat. Let her know that you will always bring your newborn around as much as possible. Also if you are leaving a newborn with your grandma maybe talk to her neighbours and just let them know so if anything happens they know also telling her that she has to reply to messages. Set up baby cameras around the house so you can check on the both of them from work.
Let her keep the baby and see about another option for picking up the older child. My Mom is 83 and still watches grandchildren part time
Have the baby go to someone else every other day! That way grandma won’t be so stressed with baby and has time to also have time alone with other grandkid! As well as knowing she won’t have baby those days to make her dr appointments and do errands! Make sure you do a couple trial runs where grandma takes care of baby so she can remember routine! (And you can check that they will be alone together!)
Just fyi, suffocation doesnt sound like much even to the best of ears. I’d suggest a visual monitor so she can look at the baby. They have those owlet ankle monitors that alert you if baby’s heart rate drops. And they have carseats with the stroller attached to it, so you just have to get it off the base and push a button to release the wheels. Technology is your friend, and if money isn’t, maybe you ask if you could cut back on her pay for a hot minute to afford this stuff so it’s easier for her to watch the baby? Maybe you get a credit card just for these items and pay it down over the year, since you’ll be bringing money in again. Maybe you ask for it for christmas. Whatever you can. They will be fine. 69 isn’t even that old!
I would do a trial run before you go back to work. That way you are available if anything goes wonky and will give you time to find alternatives. Without hurting her feelings
I would give her a trail run cuz I watched all my grandkids from 6weeks to kindergarten I wouldn’t want it any other way I might be a bit younger but still I wouldn’t want a stranger watching my grandkids I have 1 that goes to the sitters at mommy’s choice it hurts cuz I don’t have the bond like the others
Why don’t you ask her to come over and watch her while you get stuff done around the house and just see how she does with her. That way it will put you at ease and it will also give her a chance to judge if she really can keep her.
Lord y’all are over thinking tgis parenting thing . I have 3 and grandma and papaw watch them . These old folks rasied BA ies way before wa was born and definitely without any technology we have today. It erks me when ppl think just bc their older they can’t do anything . Tbt it probably helps them way more than it helps you . Its a way for them to stay young at heart and be helpful .
I’d give it a go and see what happens. Never know! Not like this is her first go around lol
Hi I watched my granddaughter about one, and she was getting a sister in sept. I watched the oldest from January to sept. Then it was Two days before would be watching second child, they decided to put both children in day care. I was heart broken they decide it would be too much for me. I have diabetes, feet issue and a seizure disorder. I know it’s best for the kids in case something happens. I think I was fine but you never know I guess.
I don’t think I would feel comfortable letting her keep the baby
My father is 73 and watches my younger two. Ages 4 and 1. He has since the youngest was 5 months old.
Always go with your gut.
Have her around your baby with you there to see how she handles it, observe her as she’s taking care of her for the 3wks left! That may give you insight to how well you think she can handle it
Grandma is the best babysitter
Do a trial run. Maybe see if she take the little one for a couple of hours. As for the car seat. Have her try that out as well. That and talk to her.
maybe you could find someone to transport the older child or put her in latch key if that would work ; bottom line do what’s best/safe for your children
I watch both my greatgradkids 7yrs an7 months,just check on her from work if your uneasy about it.
My opinion. Let her give it a shot. If she means that much to you and you guys are really close you will both know of it won’t work out for long term and then you can go from there. Start with short periods of time, be available or have backup just in case. It will work itself out. Gramma knows best.
I’m sure baby will be in her sight at all times. Most little babies tend to stay close to adults. Also, as a grandma above stated that her grandbabies went to daycare. I feel like if you decide to have someone else watch them or have them go to daycare then go see grandma a lot still because she is gonna miss them and she wants to bond with baby too.
I would let her try but have a backup maybe even divide up the week between her and another caretaker. And God I envy you! I would give anything to have my Grammy be around to watch my babies! Lucky girls you’ve got!
My grandma wants to watch my 1 year old. I just can’t do that to her. He’s a handful like most kids. However my cousin who is 23 is going to be living with her so I’m going to let them together
Id give her chance, you dont have to take the baby out with the carseat, coming from a c section mom who couldn’t lift baby in the carseat, I just left the infant carseat in the car and took baby in and out until i was cleared to start lifting it. When it got too heavy, I did it again.
My husband’s grandmother watches our daughter from time to time and she is in her early seventies it’s her choice and ask for her I’m always right down the hill from her if I need to come get the baby ( stay at home mom) she will call me and tell me if she can’t handle her I’m very sure yours will as well
I’m 67 and I watch my great grandbabies. When I get to where I don’t think I can I will tell them. It’s hard to admit we can’t do what we use to but I would never risk my babies
I am a grandmother in my 50s and watch 2 of my 5 grandchildren age 3 and 1 and I have had my share of health issues in the past and high blood pressure now but watching my babies gives me the incentive to take better care of myself. I also have another grandbaby due in 5 months that I will be watching. The 3 year old will be going to a summer camp in June and will start school in September.
Talk to her and be totally honest with her! She’ll appreciate it.
Give her a trial run while there with her and see how she does and if she can’t do it just reassure her that you will have the baby there whenever you arent working so she can have some time with her
Im not as concerned about the infant as I am the afternoon pickup ,I would have the older ride a bus to daycare.
I would get transportation for the 10 year old for sure. I’m sure she will be a help to grandma when she does get out of school tho once baby is a bit bigger.
My sons great grandmother’s watched him when he was an infant and still do when needed. They are both 75 and older. Trust me when I say ur baby is safest with grandma.
I would give her a chance.
I think if she felt she couldn’t, she’d say so. She wouldn’t want to hurt your baby!
Maybe get her a minutes to carry with her so hearing bub is easier?
I mean, I just read a story today where the baby was at a daycare center and placed on belly to sleep, and when the care givers came to check on baby its face was down and it wasnt breathing.
Having one on one care by someone who loves your child is probably going to be the better option.
Express your concerns with her. Request that she keep baby near until she gets her hearing aids. Have her leave the car seat in the car and just carry baby. Buy an owlet monitor, or picture and sound baby monitors yo help her out.
But id give her the benefit of the doubt. If she thought she was putting your child in danger she would tell you.
Can your eldest walk herself to Gradmas car? Some schools offer the drive up pick up. She’s old enough to not be picked up from inside the gates.
There is also cameras that can be installed and or baby monitors that have signals for deaf people.
But I think if I were in your situation I’d invite grandma over all the time and ask for a day to myself and watch how she interacts with baby.
Let grandma practice this week. While ur in the house with her let her take full care of the baby and load the car seat in to the car and have her pick up ur other child. That way u know if she can do it . If it doesn’t work out just tell her ur concerned about her health.
Do you have someone else that you trust to watch your baby and maybe let gm keep picking up and watching your oldest one. Or vs do you have someone that can pick your oldest up or the bus to drop your oldest off with gmaw till you pick them up, i feel like your oldest is old enough to help gmaw in the evenings watch after baby. But like you said with the carrying car seat with baby to go pick oldest one up, would be my main concern. Also, gmaw continueing to watch one or the other will help her not go down in health so quickly. When someone gets that age and stops doing stuff their health can go downwards fast. If she does not keep either of them (if thats what you decide) go visit regularly and make sure she is staying active
She will probably watch your baby CLOSER than a daycare would. 69 is NOT that old! Another 10 years will make a difference.
give grandma a chance before you go back to work and feel it out
Get a stroller for her to use ,while she watches baby ,so she dont have to carry the car seat…tell her she has to be in the same room at all times …frequently face time …hope it works out cuz I’d still trust family over anyone else
Keep baby seat in car, use a stroller, maybe have someone else, another parent get older child…hell I’m 60, still working…
Hearing aids will work… don’t forget deaf people have children…
I’m sure grandma will be fine with baby …
Does she know infant CPR? Anyone babysitting an infant needs to know infant CPR☺
Every grandma is different. My grandma has a lot of health issues and she had an Amputated leg. She took every good care of us. As we got older, it was harder for her because her health went bad but we all helped her out. But if the 10 year is gonna be with the baby and the grandma after school, she can help out. Thats what my mom did with me and taught me how to help with my younger siblings. I’d give her a chance and see where it goes. We thought my grandma couldn’t but she had strength for it and always told my mom ahead of time if she doesn’t watch us.
I’m 57 and have lost 70% of my hearing. I’ve learned recently my dog cries and I can’t hear him (with hearing aids turned up high)! That’s scary! I had no clue he made any noise! I remember my brother telling me he felt sorry for my grandson because grandma ignores him when he talks! So I have to admit, you have a right to worry. However, there are stone deaf moms raising kids! If gram knows she can’t hear as well, then she should be changing how she sets up her day around the baby. Such as keeping baby very close, not sleeping in another room. Also, it’s time your 10 year old learn about baby care-and she will be a BIG help to gram! Give her a chance!
Give grandma a chance. If you still feel uncertain try and arrange other plans but allow grandma access to her grand children so she doesn’t feel abandoned.
My grandma just turned 71 and had back surgery last year but she’s a trooper and can handle anything. Basically the same situation with her being like my mother as mine was never around. My son is 6 now and she watches him a couple times a week. I’m 31 and this woman would beat me with her purse if I tried to stop her from keeping him. That’s her little angel and there is no separating them. I would just talk to her about it. Have a discussion but don’t outright tell her that you don’t think she can handle it. And maybe call to check in a few times a day while your little one is there. And talk to your daughter about helping while she is there. When I was 10 my mom was gone and dad was at work all the time so it was either me or grandma taking care of the younger ones. She can handle helping out probably more than you think she can.
Start with shorter time frames and see if she is ok with it.
Find a day care. Grandma can do the extra stuff and for short periods of time. Do not leave you new baby with your grandmother.
I’m sure she’ll be fine I’m 72 with health problems and have been watching children for 30 years
Start out with a trial run, this week when you are home, too. Take a shower, wrap gifts, make a cake or pie from scratch and see how your grandmother does. Then leave the house, take a walk, go get coffee at Starbucks or wherever you want, go to the library. Be gone a short time and go home, find out how things went. Also get a monitor with a video camera so you can check in while you are gone on your phone. If it doesn’t work you both will know.
Buy extra car seat and go with her for a week picking up other child and see if she is able to put lo in car seat in her vehicle properly extra car seat helped me
If she thinks she can do it give her that chance. But if she thinks she can’t then find someone else or see if someone can come over n help her. Good luck girl.
I think if possible the 10 year old needs a new ride. Carpool? If grandma is home with the newborn and doesn’t drive anywhere there’s less strain on her without the lifting and it’s probably safer in general that way
69 is not that old and the 10-year-old could help out. I would love for family to want to take care of my children.