heyy mamas … this post is specifically for my mommas of two kids or more. i’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with my second son. my first is turning two in exactly one week and i’ve been extremely emotional over the fact that my oldest won’t be my only baby . me and his father aren’t together so he’s been my rock and im kind of scared of having two . i’m scared of him getting jealous and i haven’t wrapped my head around how it’s possible for my heart to love two humans so much. This could totally just be my hormones but would love some encouraging words and to know what y’all’s story is like
37 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am nervous my child with be jealous of baby - Mamas Uncut
It will love the new baby, my grandbabies are 11 months apart and thick as thieves.
My son cried and ran out of the room when I brought my daughter home. An hour later he was excited about being a big helper with his sissy 
just make sure to put time to the side for just you and the oldest to do something one on one. As for your heart… I promise it’s big enough to love them both that much. Just wait and see hun
I have two that are two years apart and mine wasnt. He was more curious than anything and is a wonderful big brother. Although I’m not doing it on my own, you’ll do wonderful. It is hard sometimes but I wouldn’t trade it anything. You got this! You’ll do great!
I had the same fears, but everything worked out well
1 Like
I was scared of the same thing, all for no reason. 
Don’t stress, I promise it will be okay.
My girls are 23 months apart no jealous I made my oldest included. I called her my baby as well as the baby my baby. Let her help.
My son is 18 months and my girls are 7 and 9 there was never jealously but a bit of missing mommy as they had school and a baby takes a lot of time
1 Like
You will love him immediately, I felt that way when I was having my second child. I loved him just as much as my first.
While nursing my new baby, my daughter and I read stories. I called this the “Story time” . She looked forward to it.
1 Like
You will be suprised how much love a heart can hold. I dont love my children the same, but I love them equally. Your child will adjust to the new baby, just include him in as much stuff as possible,
I had a daughter who was only 1 when I was pregnant with a second. I couldn’t imagine loving another baby as much as I loved my daughter. What I learned very quickly is that love multiplies and is not divided.
I have 2 they are 22 months apart. They are best friends even though 1 is a girl and the other is a boy. Of course they get on each other’s nerves lol. I love them both the same, I was scared I wouldn’t but once the baby was here that thought just vanished.
We included the older siblings. We let them help with potty changes, they bathed together, we would hold the baby while the older one held the bottle during feedings. And we also made sure to give the one on one time to the oldest.
I was really worried as well but loving your children comes naturally you have nothing to worry about. Your son will love the baby just gotta be careful when he tries giving him something to eat. Other than that babies will love eachother
I’m going to be honest, mine are 20 months apart (both boys) and they fight all the time, but they also love eachother unconditionally. Once you hold that new baby in your arms, you’ll immediately never knew how you ever lived without them. It’s normal to be nervous, it’s because you’re a good mom who loves your kid. It will all work out 
My first daughter was 3 when I had my second daughter, she loved to help with the baby and play with her.
Involve him as much as you can threw out your pregnancy as well as when you have your new one try and have one on one time with him too I found when I Involved my children in my pregnancys they we so happy and excited
1 Like
It gets rough but he will adjust. You’ll be okay
I just called the new baby to be the older ones baby. They were then very protective and accepting. Start now…also had wrapped gift for older one so when someone brought gifts for new baby I had a gift from the baby to the older one
I have 3 boys 11 just had a birthday and 5 and 4 girl when they fight they fight! But the love I see they have for each other is a beautiful thing they help each other too they play with each other. Show both of them love and affection and set boundaries for them and start having them do chores with you at about 2. You will have a happy home with your babies
I have 4 kids and whenever baby came home from the hospital, the baby “bought” a present for their brothers and sisters. Kids that age love helping so make it their “job” to pass you the nappy or hold the wipes or something like that, make a big deal of what a great big brother/sister they are.
My oldest was so thrilled with his important job that he used to sit beside his baby sister for hours minding her! No jealousy at all as long as they get some time with u too when baby is sleeping or something
1 Like
Just make sure to involve him with the baby. Snuggling, feeding if the new one eats from a bottle, hanging out during bath times etc. Include in the everything! I have 5 kids and some jealousy has happened but not much whatsoever. Every kiddo loves new babies in our home and love helping in any way. Just never forget to make time for the oldest when the baby is sleeping and such too.
I had my daughter when my son just turned 2. It was hard on me being a single mother but we definitely did very well adjusting. My son would help me so much even at his young age he always wanted to help me with his baby sister. He did ask me one time if we could bring it back and go get some cheese ( he didn’t like the crying) but he always found a way to play with her or grab her pacifier to help. Now at 8 and 10 almost 11 they fight so much 
I miss the easy days when they looked after each other. But you got this.
Perhaps you could think of the space in your heart for loving two children not as being crammed too full and more like expanding so there’s room for both. 
Sorta like the Grinch’s heart growing three sizes or whatever, I guess. 
The best advice I can give is make sure you are able to have one on one with your first born after the baby. Have the daddy or family take the baby for 30-60 minutes a day. Read books, go to parks, play whatever it is you both would enjoy together with no interruptions. The quality time will be everything to your first. When I had my 2nd I was so consumed with the new baby i would cry how much I missed my first bc like you she was my rock and always with me but it wasn’t the same and my husband didn’t understand at the time until I made him watch the baby and saw how much my first and I needed that time together. I know its always easier said than done but I promise it will make a difference for everyone. Best of luck mama you got this
1 Like
I was the same way between my first child (son) and my second child (son) but the moment my second was born all my fears melted away. You love them both with all your heart. I’m now up to 5 children. Last 2 were twins, and I’m done now lol. But didn’t have any of those fears after my second was born.
You will be surprise about how much love you will feel for your baby , a moms heart is immensely full of love , to avoid the jealousy just include your older son in the babies life, like let him hold him ( of course sitting down and with you by his side ) if you are planning on bottle feeding, let him hold the bottle etc . Make time to do something with just him when the baby is napping, like watch his favorite cartoon, make snacks together, read etc .
He might not be interested at first but he will eventually
I felt the same way and found I had enough love for all six of them
Aww it’s normal to feel this way! But by some miracle your heart just grows and you love that child the same! He probably will be jealous and that’s normal. He’s not used to sharing you. Just do your best to make him included. Allow him to help. I have four and I love them all the same but also for each of their unique personalities. They also love each other but get jealous of each other and don’t get along sometimes even as adults.
My oldest is 5 and youngest is 5 months. My oldest was at first jealous it took a few months but eventually she got over it. Now they are best friends… it helps that my son has started crawling and playing more, the interaction between them has been much much better. It takes a little adjusting but it will be ok.
Definitely hormones 
I have 5 and can honestly say just when you think your heart can’t hold anymore love… it does. I think your oldest will love having a sibling! Enjoy those babies mama!
You will be amazed to see how far your love can grow and stretch for both of them. Yes, it is a huge transition but it will naturally happen. You will wonder how you ever worried about loving your second baby. You will watch them grow together and see the love that they have for each other. Your Little Rock will be your biggest help.
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my second child. My older son was 3 when my younger son was born. That same love you have for your first child will extend to your second. And as long as you include your first child in things regarding the new baby, that child should be fine.
It all comes naturally on its own don’t worry. Try to incorporate your first child’s involvement as much as possible and make them helping you so important that you shower them with lots of love & praise.
It will be fine. You love both with all your heart. You three will grow together.
I’m currently 33 weeks with baby #2, and I know how you feel. I’m nervous that my 3 1/2 year old will be jealous.
Well. Congrats. First. Of. All. &. Just. Have. a. Heart to. Heart. With. Him. Tell. Him
You’ll. Still. Love. him. And. Would. Love. a. Partner. to. Help you. When his sibling to. Be. Comes. Good. Luck. ,. God. Bless
My daughter 2.5 was for a month or so. Really clingy. Wanted me when i was pumping etc… she was never agressive towards her brother but it was rough. Every kid is different but jealousy is expected.
The good news is it does end. Bad news its rough for a while- getting out of the house with two lids even when you prep the night before- awful- you will most likely forget something important.
2.5 months in its easier for me. I keep a stocked or mostly stocked diaper bag in the car. I try to keep dome snacks, a drink and a water bottle for toddler because she doesnt always eat when i want her to before we leave. Give yourself an extra hour- my sin would refuse to eat then want to when we needed to leave or 5 minutes down the road…
Setting clothes out the night before helps.
Meal prepping breakfast also helps.
Since you havent had baby yet- i would make s bunch of freezer crockpot meals, some frozen breakfast options, if your cars trunk is big enough a clear bin with some wipes, diapers, an outfit or two per kid, water bottle, few snacks and a drink. This bin shall livevin your car and i promise you it will be a game changer.
M
For example my toddler refused to eat and we had to go to her appointment… guess who got hubgry on the 20 minute tide oh she did- i had some snacks and it held her over.
I feel the same right now 22 weeks with my 2nd daughter
You’ll be amazed as to how much your son will love his brother. Keep your older one involved as much as you can and be sure to give him quality time together while baby is napping. It will be wonderful to see their bond grow.
You got this girl
It all works out in the wash! They maybe jealous at first and then want to help with everything! Once baby is up moving and grooving its all hands on decks! They become best friends and sometimes worst enemies!! But it works…my boys 22 months apart where inseparable! At first he tried to give him.away
.but once he did things they where like 1!! Its easy dont sweat it! My oldest was my rock for 26 yrs old
Perfectly normal feeling to have. Let brother help if he can and chooses to. Make time for him alone while baby is napping!
1 Like
I thought things would go good with my 2nd because my daughter (18months old) I thought would be sooo excited for a baby around (like a little baby doll). It was total opposite she was so very jealous. She wanted to hurt him very bad, she dumped him out of his bassinet on day #2 home from the hospital (thankfully it was on carpet and he didn’t get really hurt). So i new better than to leave my daughter alone with him. One day I had them both down for naps and went to take a quick shower, she happened to wake up and sneak in my sons room into his crib and started beating him the head with this big, heavy, light up, singing rattle thing. After that incident i put hook and latches on the outside of his door so she couldn’t get into his room when it was locked. She eventually grew out of the jealousy and they were pretty close growing up. Today they 19 and almost 18 but the very beginning was hard. I think this a rare though most siblings adjust easier than my daughter. Good luck mama! It will all work out!
Get him prepared. Books. Tv shows. Get him little jobs to do. Fetching diapers. Etc
1 Like
So mine are a little older apart… But as long as you include the older baby in everything and try to spend some 1 on 1 time with the older baby while the newbie sleeps… it will go a little easier. U may have some jealousy, but that’s normal… Just help ur older baby try to work thru what they’re feeling… Also - it’s totally normal to feel this way. I used to cry and cry over the fact that I couldn’t imagine loving another baby how I loved my first… But u just so! It’s a hard miracle to explain. You got this mama!
Keep him included in caring for new baby and make a HUGE deal out of him being a big brother.
My son is turning five in July and my daughter turns six months this month. My son is mentally about two years old. His little sister is his entire world. It’ll break your heart seeing your oldest look so grown up, but watching the bond will fix the break and make your heart grow even bigger. Just have faith, mama. Your feelings are valid.
4 Likes
I had my oldest help with little things like feeding her (under supervision) and playing with her. I also made time for just him and I. He’s three years older. They still get jealous of one another at 12 and 9 years old but I think its a sibling thing. 
It is possible and easy to love both kids. It’ll come naturally.
I was in your shoes and my daughter was 2 also when her little sister was born she was the best big sister ever couldn’t imagine our life without the little one sometimes the sibling is actually the gift for the oldest child having a sibling while single was the best company for my daughter and the love you shore for both is different you don’t love one more than the other
I felt that way before my youngest son was born, my oldest was somewhat jealous, but he LOVED his brother from Birth, called him his baby. He was 19 months old when he was born. I assure you that your heart has room, equally for both! You will do great, be sure to involve the oldest in helping with all things with the baby. He will adore him! Good luck
My oldest two are 19 months apart. My oldest was sweet and caring with my second. My second was a handful to say the least lol. I made sure that my oldest still got quality time with me when the baby was sleeping. He still got cuddles, books play time etc.
I waited 8 years after my second to have my third. And then my fourth was 17 months apart from my third. He’s also super caring and sweet and my youngest is a handful and a half lol. Just have to teach the older one that we have to be gentle even when baby’s in your belly. Don’t let them be alone without supervision, and give extra time to the oldest one so they don’t feel left out.
My suggestion is to make sure older sibling feels included. If they feel included they generally won’t resent a new baby. That’s how it was with my two.
2 Likes
Honestly it will be fine, but it’s a natural worry we ve all been through xx I was advised for the new baby to bring a present specially for each sibling which worked really zx
My kids were 16 months apart. When we brought my daughter home from the hospital, my son crept up on the couch to the car seat as I was hanging up coats, Fisher Price rattle in hand, poised to hit her in the face! When I shrieked “No!” In shock, he looked around at me like, “What?” I took the rattle and put it up, trying to explain that the little person in the car seat was his baby sister. That she was just born and we had to be careful with her. He was not impressed. He set out on an agenda to maim or kill his baby sister right away. I tried to explain to him that we weren’t to hurt Sissy. I tried to include him in on her care, he wasn’t interested. He resented the time I spent taking care of her, even though I made it a point to spend time alone with him while she slept. Things got a little better, but I never left them alone. We moved back from New Mexico to Kentucky where my in-laws helped some. I was able to stop the worst of the animosity. There was an uneasy truce as they got older, but there were still times when my son would catch his sister looking for a toy in her closet. He would close the door and pummel her with a fist. I’d fly upstairs and separate them… send my son to his room and not let him watch TV for two hours, until I settled down and comforted my daughter. Then she got even. She had gotten a little homemaker set from her grandparents for Christmas. She got so she would sneak up behind her brother, smack him with the broom and then cry hysterically when he came after her. I sent them to separate rooms and told them they couldn’t play together or even look at each other till they made up. And it went on. My son would “hang” his sister’s Barbie dolls with shoelaces from cabinet doors. She would throw a fit. He would say, “Oh, Sissy, play right!” I would have to fly into the living room from the kitchen, rescue the Barbies and tell my son he wouldn’t like it if his sister hung his plastic dinosaurs from the cabinets, so cut it out. Oh boy, they led me a merry chase! I used to say that God had a sense of humor. I asked for two children and He sent me the two little souls who didn’t get along and He had to keep them at opposite ends of Heaven so they didn’t fight. As the kids got older, it turned out that they could pick on each other, but nobody else better do it. They would get mad. Except for the time my son smacked my daughter at school. She would come home from school utterly famished. Starved to death. She’d eat a snack and a full supper. She didn’t gain an ounce. This went on for a week or so. Then my son came home with his clothes all rumpled and with a bloody lip. When I asked what happened he said so and so beat him up. I was all set to go have a chat with so and so’s parents when my daughter told me she had saved up her lunch money and paid so and so to beat up her brother because her brother hit her at school. I stopped giving my kids cash for lunches and wrote checks. I told my kids to stop the hitting and fighting or I was going to take TV away from both of them and they could come in from school, do their homework, eat supper, and sit on the sides of their beds with nothing till bedtime for a week. I meant it. I also grounded them from their bikes for a month. That seemed to end the war.
I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 18344 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://jobsgalexy488.netlify.app/
You would be surprised on how well the bond is my son was 4 when I had my second and I thought the exact same thing but to my surprise the bond and the love was there the entire pregnancy he always wanted to cuddle him just include him in feedings and diaper changes
I though the same exact thing with mine! My son was a month shy of 2 when his sister was born! Couldn’t imagine loving someone else like that! (It didn’t help that I was terrified of having a girl with my attitude ) But love doesn’t have limits! She’s my mini me. And them growing up together like that, they basically don’t remember a time without each other! I’m having trouble now because #3 is coming, now she’s 5 and crying because “she’s not going to be the baby anymore” but I think once he’s here she’ll be ok
My oldest (twins) are 5 years older than my son. When he was born, I included them in EVERYTHING. Help mom change the baby (get a diaper and the wipes). Help mom dress the baby (pick out an outfit). Babysit while mom cooks (sit beside the baby in the swing/bouncer/playpen and watch TV). It made my oldest two feel helpful and included. I did the same thing again with my oldest 3 when my youngest was born.
I told my little one or 20 months apart that that was her baby and she was really excited and she been sat down in the big chair and I would let her hold her when she was just teeny and that was her baby
Very first thing is build the bond allow him to touch the baby call him your big helper and babies big brother yes he’s two but including him in everything will make him feel needed and talk to him a lot baby doesn’t need as much attention as your 2 yr old does so show him a lot of affection and attention give him a job even simply singing to baby trust me you will feel so much better know that you started a bond between siblings that no one can break
My first daughter is 12 and I’m 6 months pregnant with my second girl and last. I include my daughter in everything and I will include her in everything when my baby is born! I got pregnant on BC but I’m so happy plus I am with the most amazing man who treats my oldest like his own. Now she’s excited to be a big sister despite the age difference
I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20917 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://jobsgalexy523.netlify.app/
My son went through a jealous stags but, only because a newborn needed more attention.
After a week or 2 I wrote down when Bubs was having a nap, when feeds and also let Bubs hang out in the porta-cot. Times when Bubs was sleeping or hanging out in the Porta-cot in the lounge room I made them times to hang out with my oldest and do activities like play dough, painting, drawing etc.
I also got my oldest a doll so he could copy and we talked about why the baby needs burping and how to change nappies.
I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 16943 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://jobsgalexy533.netlify.app/
I thought this about my first girl when I was pregnant of my second. She has been the best big sister since day one, she takes care of her and protects her all the time. You might be surprised mama! Everything will be OK.
1 Like
I had my first Dec 97. My twins came Feb 2000, Next one came March 2001, the last came Jan 2002 I managed and all got along
At first our 2 1/2 twar old son would have nothing to do with his new, baby sister. So I took him to town alone, leaving his sister with my mom and just spent some quality time with him, shopping. I bought him a coloring book and crayons, and that seemed to do the trick of reassuring him I still had time for him and also gave him something positive to do! Now they are in their late 60’s and have always been super close, do things together!!
My daughter was 7 when had my son. Never thought I’d love him as much as I already loved her. The moment they laid him on my chest, right after delivery…. I knew I did. Love him already as much
Everyone feels this way when pregnant with their second. As soon as you see that sweet baby all those fears just disappear.
1 Like
It’s normal scares before your other baby gets here. I had the same thoughts when I had my second. But your heart just grows. And loves them both the same. My heart grew and I loved my second baby the same and my heart just grew again I just had my third baby. You’ll be amazed. Your son will be just fine. I had my second when my son was three. And just had my third and my kids are now 7 and 4 they love the new baby so much. And I love them all so much!!! Our hearts are amazing and our bodies are amazing and our kids are amazing. He’ll love that baby! And so will you. You got this mama.
let him be involved with the baby like bring you diapers ,wipes etc .and give him mommy son time
Don’t be I have 7 kids and each help with each baby I teach my kids at a early stage how to hold a baby how to feed the baby when the baby cry’s to come tell mom or let me know if the baby poop or baby diaper wet to feel the diaper so they know what a wet diaper feels like I start at 4 years old because thats when there little minds are every were my oldest is 14,13,10,9,7,5,4 so I teach all of them for youngest to oldest