I am not allowed to discipline the kids that I babysit: Advice?

Your house sounds really boring. Organize an activity for when they come over so they aren’t bored and running around like banshees. Take them outside. Organize a game of hideand seek or blind mans bluff. Pick a movie and pop some popcorn and sit and watch it with them. The kids will not only listen to you more but they will like you more if you don’t just let them run loose and yell at them.

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Your house your rules if they don’t like that than they can find someone else to babysit and it will be really hard to find someone who charges what you do ( nothing )maybe after they start having to pay and the kids following rules they will think twice

It’s YOUR HOUSE. If someone doesn’t want to respect my house rules they don’t need to be there :woman_shrugging: kids, animals or adults. I run my house how I see fit. If im watching kids for free, they will be minding my rules or can sit in timeout.

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Hell naw Tell MIL to keep her ass home and keep the Helions kids come to my house I treat them like I wld my own tell them naw but hell naw.

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Let them know you set the rules for your house. Write them out. Stay realistic. Explain they are to explain your expectations
Tour the house with the he children. Tell them what they may to do
If you get that far. Sounds like the kids from chaos and need high structure and realistic expectations

I wouldn’t baby sit i couldn’t punish. If they can’t go in the corner or something you better find another baby sitter

You have EVERY RIGHT TO HAVE RULES! That is your home and not theirs. They need to follow the same rules your kids have at your home. If they don’t like that, then they should find someone else or quit going to the casino. Just sayin

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Hell no if YOU are watching them in YOUR HOUSE then those kids need to follow your rules and you should be able to punish them if they don’t follow those rules. If they do not like it then they should find somewhere else to take the kids.

If you’re doing this as a favor to MIL and SIL and it’s YOUR house, you absolutely have the right to correct/punish those kids. I’m not saying beat them, but telling them to quiet down, enforcing them to clean up after themselves etc, is all more than reasonable. I would flat out tell them that if they refuse to allow you to discipline children in your home, in your care, then you’re not babysitting anymore. I’m sure that will stir some shit up with them, but they can either keep getting free childcare and deal with you disciplining them OR they can pay for childcare and someone else can worry about the kids behavior.

Stop watching them if they can’t follow your rules. It’s your place. Not theirs.

I think they should listen to you & if not …then in time out

I discipline all children if they’re at my house :woman_shrugging: friend, nephew, niece, I do t care I’ll put you in time out & treat you just like my own children.

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Your house. Your rules. Period.

They Don’t like it or allow discipline?

Tell them you can’t do it anymore and be up front about it

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If you are dumb enough to keep watching them for free after all this there’s no hope.

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Ain’t no way imma watch kids for free and they get to do what they want in MY home. Nope. I have rules they will need to follow and one room they will b allowed to play if they keep messing with the rest of house. Or watch them at their house. Have them mess their houses up.

Your house, your rules. If they don’t like it, then they don’t get babysitting.

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Your house, your rules. If they don’t like it they can find someone else

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Let someone else watch them then🤷🏽‍♀️.

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Your house your rules. If they can’t follow the rules then they don’t need to be there and you don’t need to be watching them. You’re doing a huge favor watching those kids for free. The parents of those kids need to make their kids listen and be respectful and you certainly should be allowed to punish them within reason too.

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Your house, your rules.

If they can’t accept that their children is going to be disciplined at your house then, don’t have the kids over.

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Stop looking after these kids. Not your responsibility

I wouldn’t keep them for free & let them destroy my house. Hell no. You are doing them a favor by keeping those kids. They need to learn to respect others

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Sorry…not sorry. You’re house …you’re rules. They don’t like it then can stay home or get someone else to watch the kiddos.

Your house your rules. Just because it’s family doesn’t mean they can do whatever they want.

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It will get worse because obviously they know that you ain’t allowed to do anything about it. Put your foot down either stop watching them or tell them you need pay or tell them they gonna have to listen and follow the rules.

Your house your rules. It’s free childcare. If they don’t like it, tell them they can get someone else.
I had to start saying no to my sister. I love my nephew but he is a terror and does not listen AT ALL!!! She would always question why I put him on time out because he said he didn’t do anything. So now…. Sorry get someone else :woman_shrugging:t4:

Firstly how old are these children?? Second, put your important belongings away if you know that kids are coming over :roll_eyes: if it’s such an inconvenience for you to babysit them then just say no. They are kids. You can’t expect them to sit on their hands and not say a word the whole time you’re watching them…seems to me you’re a little too up tight, If I was a kid I wouldn’t want to be at your house either lol.

Orrrrrrr go watch them at your mother in laws house lol.

Also- I agree that you should be able to lay some rules down…but “don’t touch anything or make any noise” is what it’s sounding like your rules would be lol

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Your home,your rules!

Your house your rules!! I would tell them no I’m not baby sitting any kid I can not discipline!! Straight up when I baby sit in my home I let the parents know I have rules and if child can’t go by them then they will have consciences

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They dont pay you AND they refuse to let you discipline? Girl… you’re being used

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Your house your rules! Let them find a New babysitter instead of using you for Free and telling you how to handle then in YOUR HOUSE!

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It’s time for YOU to put your foot down. You’re not married and look what’s happening. It’s time for them to hire a daycare. Sounds like money is not a problem.

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I would tell them i cant watch them. No way! Not getting paid? Not listening? Nope i would say peace out!

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Yup let someone else watch them. For the adults to say you can’t tell them no at all. It’s not worth the headache. Especially not getting paid.

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Dont baby sit them period stay out of trouble …

Tell them to keep their own darn kids

My daughter is expected to listen to whomever is the adult in charge, even if I’m just out in the yard working. And if she doesn’t, she can be disciplined. Hopefully it means she doesn’t end up an entitled brat. If I trust someone enough to leave my kid with them, they’re allowed to discipline her.

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My son goes to a house for daycare he knows to listen to whomever is watching him also to clean up after himself he’s only 3 but also the house he goes to is set up for kids there is play areas and yard with toys they have craft hour and movie time

Don’t keep them anymore……

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If they’re so naughty and misbehave, tell them you’re not watching them. If SIL and MIL want to dictate rules at your house, the answer is always no. Good luck finding a sitter that is willing to submit to those restrictions…FOR FRICKIN FREE! :joy::rofl::joy::rofl::joy: In your house, it’s your rules. I do not tolerate disrespect in my house from my own children, and sure as hell not from my nieces and nephews. The same rules apply to everybody, doesn’t matter who they are.

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They wouldn’t stay then. Simple as that.

Your house, your rules, kids and parents should respect that and you.

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If they want all that they need to stay home. No rules equal next bunch of felons

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Heck no!!! That wouldn’t work for me……get out of that situation now!

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Sounds like they want the kids with you just so an adult is there to protect their asses. If you can’t set rules in your home, can’t discipline or anything but be there I’d tell them they can’t come to my house.

Your house your rules. If they don’t like it tell them they can either pay you a nanny wage, which isn’t cheap or they can find someone else :woman_shrugging: period

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My home my rules , I get they have boundries abt having others discipline but a set of house rules that apply across the board is necessary. With consequences such as quite time or book time . Set up a place for this that’s comfortable but separated.

Your house your rules… Not listening would be a big no for me

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Girl bye STOP being a doormat!

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It’s. Your. House, If they don’t like it ,they should take care of them there selfs

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Tell them to take care of their own damn kids then that’s insane my house my rules and if they can’t respect it then they should be picked up that’s even if someone was paying you too you’re doing it for free on top of it they’re taking advantage of you been there but you gotta be tough and stand up for yourself!

Let them quit casino or quit their job, but I would not babysit any bratty kids!!

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I’m sorry but if they are in my home they follow by my rules and if the parents don’t like it find a new sitter

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Quit watching them…done…

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Smh stop…why do we have to tell you what is obvious. They don’t like your rules they can stay home from the casino! Simple as that

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Refuse to watch them and tell them why

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Let them find another sitter

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They would go by my rules or I wouldn’t babysit. If the mother in law or sister in law has a problem they should hire a sitter. The kids and adults should respect you

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Why does your stepson live with mother-in-law?
And while I understand the frustration of out of control kids it sound like you just don’t like kids at all

No one just let’s bratty kids trash their house. Everyone ( every adult) has rules in their home. These kids need to follow your rules! You do need to discipline the little brats. If they dont like it they can watch their kids their self!

Tell them it’s your house your rules. They need to respect your space. If they can’t then they can find someone else to watch them.

My husbands friend asked me to watch his kid while he and his wife worked. I never got paid. While I did not hit him because it’s not my place ever to, I did have to pick him up and put him in a timeout multiple times everyday because their son would bully my boys and hit them. Not only that but he broke some of my things like a computer charger for my work computer(they never replaced it). I also found out that his wife was never actually working when I watched him. She was at home sleeping or having “me time”. And I watched him for over 8 hours a day. So I told them I was no longer watching their kid ever again. You need to put your foot down for your sanity.

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Your house, your rules. Don’t like it? Get another free babysitter. It’s that simple.

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Oh hell no. YOUR house YOUR rules

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It’s your house. You can have rules. But never discipline a child that isn’t yours.

I mean, they are kids so don’t expect to have nice things or for your stuff to all be in order when they are around. Either you put it all away, block access to the stuff, watch them at a different location, or don’t watch them at all.

Even if you were getting paid to watch them you should run your home how YOU want to! So do you go to her home and tell her how to run hers? Of course not. Tell her you thought you were doing her a favor and feel like she is DISRESPECTING you and your home. Get another “HOBBY” and let her know that it’s keeping you busy and you don’t have time for watching kids now.

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Stop baby sitting the parents and rest of family need parenting classes to say the least. No one else will put up with what is expected of you

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Your house your rules. Mom in law would just have to give up her casino days.

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My house, my rules. Your house, your rules. Period. Now it’s THEIR choice; with no hard feelings. They can have you watch them when you are willing, or they can find someone else.

I do accommodate parents ways when it doesn’t conflict with mine or just certain preferences (pacifiers or not, electronics, food issues, sweets, potty training, time out, etc. ).

My grandma had a daycare since my dad was 2 years old. I remember a parent saying she couldn’t discipline the child (this was a family friend and neighbor). My grandma thought about it, not really wanting to damage the relationship. She actually told the mom that she was really sorry but if she couldn’t discipline the child then the mom needed to find someone else that can accommodate her. The mom backtracked and said no, we love you and there’s no one else we would trust.

Basically you trust someone to be responsible for your kids or you don’t. Simple as that. :two_hearts:

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I expect visiting kids to follow the same rules as my kids follow. If they don’t, they go home. I love kids, mine and everyone else’s. I am that mom who doesn’t mind having 10 or 12 kids at my house all day, but they have to behave.

Don’t watch them anymore. Period. Not acting like that at my house. No ma’am.

They want you to be the adult responsible… if they don’t like your rules, they are more than welcome to leave the children in their own home unsupervised, where you are not responsible for them. Since they require no rules, why do they need to be watched?

Stop babysitting! If they’re going to hogtie you while expecting you to be responsible for their children, well that’s nuts. Just say no and let them pay a babysitter. Watch how quick they smarten up. This set-up sounds abusive and you shouldn’t tolerate it.

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My advice to you is, STOP you are not responsible for any of the people mentioned. I get it that you’re loyal to your family but you also have to be loyal to yourself. It isn’t selfish to protect yourself and your home.

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If it makes you uncomfortable to where you’re on edge the entire time getting on to them more than having fun any kid would think that’s boring and act out. Kids are kids! :joy: Rolling around like they’re playing? Why would you yell? Come up with some KID friendly activities that they’re allowed to do in your house. You ARE in control. You are the adult and director of the time you babysit. Direct their attention on those fun activities OR crafts (you can find lots on Pinterest if you need help) and choose when quiet time is. :smirk: You don’t have to yell to say “oh hey that’s special to me let’s be careful around that. Do you have something that’s special to you?” And guide them somewhere else where they can play. “Can we try tip toeing like a mouse this way?! Watch me!! Squeak squeak“ BAM you’re a mouse and hopefully they are too if you’re dedicated enough. :joy: You didn’t clarify their ages, but try making things fun to help them understand and take their ages into consideration. That’s how kids learn. Eventually it won’t be such a chore and they’ll have LEARNED your rules and what you’re okay with just like you’ll learn more and more about them! :yum:

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I didn’t even read your whole post. If you are babysitting anyone’s kids, you have the right to discipline them when they’re misbehaving! If a daycare has the right to, then you do as well! If they don’t want you to, then they can pay to send their kids to daycare!

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Youre house youre rules…if my mom of suster babysit my kids and they dont listen i want them to discipline them point…they will never hit my kids but time out or talk loud to them yes i dont mind bc i dont rise my kids to do what they want at other peoples house.

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Take control of yourself and home. Your boundaries are important. Free babysitting??? You have a right to say no… I sure would!!!

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Your house your rules or they can find someone else to babysit, it’s not ok they think it’s okay for their kids to disrespect your house and your rules.

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Manage your expectations or don’t babysit. Kids are kids. Gentle parents unite is a good fb group to help with alternatives to the outdated ideas of discipline and punishment

Stop doing this. Your house not theirs. Tell them to get another sitter.

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Well then don’t watch them. It’s honestly that simple.

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You want a solution?
Grow some balls and tell them my house my rules. Like it or leave it. It’s actually that simple!

If you do decide to continue watching the little heathens, you have to establish some rules, and you need to get paid. If the family doesn’t want to go along with your rules for what happens in your home, let them find another sitter. If the kids don’t have any rules at home, they are only going to get worse as time goes on.

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Easy, stop babysitting. :woman_shrugging:

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When kids come to my house they get treated just like mine and if the parents don’t like it they can take their kids home. I’d stop watching them because your kids are gonna start acting like them then think you’re showing favoritism when you discipline them but not the others

I do not watch kids I’m not allowed to discipline nor do I allow anyone to watch my children that I don’t trust to discipline them. If they can’t respect your wishes for your household, they can find someone else to watch the children.

Absolutely no child, including my own, gets to come in my house & destroy it/refuse to listen or pick up after themselves. (Unless they’re too young to understand all of that, obviously.)

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I would tell them if they want you to babysit then the kids will follow your rules or be disciplined. You’re doing them a favor. If they say no then they should find an actual babysitter. However if you are that worried about your stuff why make them come to you. Go to them and let them run amuck in their own house. If that’s a problem for the adults then it should be a problem when they come to your house. I mean I would want them to come to me as well for my convenience but if I was that worried about my stuff I would go their or put up the items I’m worried about.

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Stop looking after them​:woman_shrugging:t2: that’s some whack ass shit lol. “Watch my kids but don’t tell em what to do” like what?!? it don’t make no damn sense! If you’re watching children you are responsible for them and their wellbeing, that includes discipline and they also can’t expect their kids to run your house into the ground :woman_shrugging:t2: put your foot down and see how attitudes change when there’s no one to watch the kids for a while :woman_shrugging:t2:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am not allowed to discipline the kids that I babysit: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Be assertive and set boundries.

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It’s your house and your doing them a favor

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Ur house ur rules if they don’t like how U run ur home then they need to figure something else out. Boundaries and rules are healthy. Don’t let other people run ur life and household. If they respected u this wouldn’t be an issue. Stand up for urself!

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Your house, your rules. You deserve respect too. :woman_shrugging: You’re doing this out of kindness, but you are no doormat. You worked hard for your things. They didnt. You may be babysitting but that doesnt mean the children get to be unruly or disrespectful to you or your home. Its called boundaries. And it seems like no one wants to respect them.

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Everywhere has rules, even school, day care, camp, friends houses etc. If they don’t like it, I wouldn’t be watching them. I’ve watched lots of kids that aren’t mine, they still have rules.

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No disrespect intended! The moment I read this I swear a young lady wrote this, I dare you to bring kids to a grown woman’s house who you are not paying and try to tell her how that’s about to go down. Not here, not now!! I also think it’s in your demeanor, you can be assertive and still care, it just means your not the one. I say take control of the situation. As long as your hearts in the right place girl you better not let them kids run a damm shit show in your house!!

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Stop watching until they set rules for kids to follow me

Otherwise you’re a free sitting service

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There taking your kindness as a weakness and it’ll only get worse if you don’t put a stop to it

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Nahhhh your house your rules if they want you to respect them THEN they should be respecting your wishes to if I was taking care of someone els kids in my house where important stuff is I’d be expecting them to behave are they gonna replace them important stuff no ! Your not a child minder ! What if a child hurt themself you told them not to do it there gonna blame you ! Seem luke these kids get away with what they want ! With no set boundaries if I was watching them kids they be told same as my own because there in my care not the mother in law or sister in laws because either necking drinks or working fuck that tell them to find someone els and you get on with your life

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Simple, either they start to pay you for your time and food and etc or they need to take there children and put them in a day care which isn’t free and still has rules. Your house your rules. Simple they are taking your kindness for granted

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