Can you please help me out to know what I should do? So my mother-in-law likes to go out a lot, mostly to the casino, and my sister-in-law works in the evenings, so the times that she works, they asked me if I can watch the kids, but I told him if they want me to watch him have to come to my house mind you I don’t get paid for it. I do it mostly for my kids due to my step-son living with my mother-in-law, and she has custody of my niece, and she has my other niece who lives there with my sister-in-law as well, so here’s my question is it wrong for me to have rules in my house because there’s so much in need of somebody to take care of them they tell me I’m not allowed to tell them anything or not to yell around my house they told me to leave them alone so every time I do that which I’m trying to respect their wishes they decide to start screaming all over the house and doing all this stuff rolling around I have a lot of things that are important to me in my home that I do not want to be messed up, so I really don’t know what to do I already told my fiance I will not watch them if they’re not behaving. I love to have my house clean. I love my belongings put where they have been. I do not like when people put objects on top of really important items that I have, and as soon as they leave a whole mess after I’ve told them multiple times to clean up after themselves also, my niece’s do not like to obey me one of them runs to my mother-in-law and tells her that I am too straight and that my house is boring and that they don’t want to be here
I understand not wanting stuff messed up, but they’re kids. Kids do make messes… so maybe ask to be paid fuel to watch them at their house.
What kind of discipline are you wanting? Are you wanting to be able to yell at them? Because you mentioned yelling…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am not allowed to discipline the kids that I babysit: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Tell them to pay for childcare properly if they can’t respect your home. You shouldn’t need to yell to be honest. Should be respectful.
If you don’t like the stipulations surrounding watching them just don’t watch them
I have always lived by you house your rules, my house my rules.
Ummm what lol, I babysit but ya I’m disciplining. I’m sorry but if they don’t want to follow rules and don’t want to be there because of rules then let them find another sitter, also u should be payed other then the step son
I would not keep them. Let them pay someone.
Either they obey your house rules or they simply stay out of your house and can find another babysitter! Your house, your damn rules! Don’t let them walk over with that crap! Be stern strict and serious.
My advice is don’t babysit
For the children’s sake…maybe they should find a new sitter!!
I have house rules, if you don’t follow them, you’re not allowed here.
Then no body would be at my house. If you leave your child with me expect your child to get disciplined just as I do mine
Your home your rules! Goes for anyone! They need to respect someone elses home at all times. If you cant Discipline kids that you volunteered to watch then stop watching them and they can pay for a sitter.
They have no respect . Don’t watch them
Tell them you can no longer babysit the kids.
Don’t babysit then. Problem solved.
Stop watching them you aren’t asking for a lot. Just to respect your home.
Stay in their house and let them do whatever they want
Ask the parents what they suggest as consequences for their actions. If you don’t agree, find another family to babysit.
Umm no they need to pay you and follow your rules. Your house your rules. It’s simple
I went through this before. And I actually used to feel bad for getting upset about getting disrespected and disobeyed by someone else’s children in my own house. I loved the kids like they were my own and it broke my heart but just like you, the parents refused to acknowledge the issues we were having with behavior and dishing out money to support them and repairing things that the kids broke. Stop keeping them. You don’t have to explain yourself.
Don’t babysit them. Easy fix.
Stop watching them especially for free. Stop watching them AT ALL. Do NOT BABYSIT. That’s your house. There’s no way they should be able to tell you not to have rules in your OWN HOUSE.
Don’t babysit, they should be listening to your rules
Your home, your rules period. Stop watching them.
Start saying no if they can’t respect your wishes
Your house your rules. Refuse to keep them if you’re not able to discipline!
I would tell them that you won’t babysit them anymore if they don’t listen and respect you when they are there.
Nah dont have them. Your house your rules. Though shouting at kids is negative attention and can make them play up more.
Keeo your voice calm sit them down and tell them your rules.
Kids do need something constructive to do.
So maybe get some books and toys for them and have a set play area. Move breakable items away as kids are curious things and don’t really mean to mess ya stuff up they are looking at things and exploring natural.
But they sound kinda lacking discipline, dont babysit if your not able to put simple rules in place.
No shouting is a basic rule in my house .
Babysit them somewhere other than your house, if you don’t want to stop babysitting them. But I would stop watching them since you cannot watch children that you are not allowed to discipline. If they’re free to do whatever they want with no rules……why do they need a babysitter!!!
If I’m watching kids they follow the rules of my house. I discipline the same as I would my own kids. If you don’t want me to do that, dont ask me to watch your kids. I would not watch them.
Plain and simple…. Stop babysitting. Sounds like no one has respect for you or your house
You never ever agree to watch another persons child if they do NOT allow you to discipline them fairly …that will make YOU and child absolute fools !! Drop them fast !!People that DON’T pay you to babysit their children have little to NO respect for you !! STOP baby sitting ! Tell parents NO more baby sitting for FREE .It will cost you X number of dollars per child per hour and the CHILDREN must obey my rules OR they will be disciplined as I see fit. If parents don’t like it …they will go find another sucker to take advantage of … STOP allowing yourself to be abused and taken advantage of.
Dont watch them. Had same issue. Was being used as a free babysitter and mainly bc SIL wanted to run around with every guy she met and abandon her kids. She never paid…never even dropped off food for them,i watched them most of the month and yet she got the child support checks while i was spending my money to feed and cloth them and even buy school supplies. If i spanked her kid,same age as my daughter,the mom would have a come apart and then decide to baby her kid for a week…never cared about her kids all month until then…and then bring them back to smirk at me and say i couldnt do anything to them and bully my kids. I spanked them anyway. Dont put up with it or your house will be ruined and kids bullied bc those kids know you wont do anything. Your way or they hit the highway…i say. Lol
Babysit kids you can
They either follow your rules or your dont watch them and you shouldnt be doing it for free you are not a door mat period do not let then walk on you like this. These children are going to grow up wild with nor respect for you or any other adult they are going to have disciplinary issues at school and probably with the law and think they are invincible these problems will get bigger than this
Absolutely not!! They would have to leave my house, if they want to act like crazies let them do it at their own house!
They abide by your rules and punishment (if they don’t) OR, they can take their kids elsewhere. Period!
I wouldnt watch kids I couldnt control
In order for it to work the adults all have to be on the same page. The kids need to listen and respect you regardless of whose house you are in. You are the adult and you are the person in charge. If no one wants to do anything to help back you up then don’t do it. If it helps to do it in someone else’s home then try that? But don’t let them wreak havoc all over you. You’re worth more then that
Your house your rules. I expect people to have rules for my son. He is not a feral dog. He needs rules and structure.
Your house, your rules. If they don’t like it they can pay someone else to babysit.
This is why I don’t have anyone watch my daughter, ever. Because honestly, I don’t react well to people “disciplining” my daughter, and I know that. So I keep her with me. Now, if my family wants to do something with her, that’s fine. And she is very well behaved, but if someone spanked/yelled at/hurt my kid we would be throwing HANDS.
Sounds like you are being severely disrespected. I just wouldn’t put up with ANY form of disrespect. You don’t have to!They are getting child care for FREE from you. They should be thanking you profusely and making certain that the children mind you and if they don’t mind you, they need to let the children know that there will be serious repercussions and follow through with the discipline when they get home. Also, it is in YOUR home. You should be able to have your own form of discipline while they are at YOUR house (time out, grounding, etc…) I would definitely not be babysitting for free except for my step son. (That’s not babysitting, it’s being a parent.) I hope things get better for you. Have a great!
Don’t watch them anymore
They definitely abide by rules in your house! Use time outs when needed obviously not hitting and screaming at them but definitely be firm if you need to.
Yeah that would have stopped immediately for me.
Your house, your rules. If they don’t like it then they can pay someone else. I highly doubt that they will find anyone who will let the kids run all over them and disrespect the people and environment they are in.
Oh hell no. I wouldn’t watch the animals unless I could beat their asses. They need it
If you are not allowed to have rules and enforce them, let them find another sitter. Imo thats rediculous. They want the kids to do as they please. Thats fine in their home with their guardian. Its a different story in your home under your supervision
Watch supernanny on YouTube
It’s your house… tell your mother and sister in law to figure it out themselves 
Tell mil to stay home when sil has to work. Let them find someone else. You fo NOT have to keep disrespectful children for disrespectful adults. You seem to be the only one trying to make things work for all of them.
No rules dont watch them.
They don’t need a babysitter that bad
You said at the beginning it has to be at your house. If you are extremely worried of your home being ruined then why not go to their house? Lol also if a kid is in my care they will be disciplined and have to follow my rules.
Its ue house ur rules.
Truthfully tell them to find another sitter. Cause u aren’t a doormat
Dont watch them. Let them pay someone to do it.
Your house, your rules. If they don’t like it they can find a new babysitter that they will have to pay.
I wouldn’t babysit them anymore, if it were me. If one of them get injured due to their lack of discipline, you will be held responsible. Just say no-going forward. Let them find someone else to use.
No ma’am.
Your house, your rules.
They are welcome to find another to keep their kids!
Tell them to find a different free sitter…rules apply no matter where you go.
It’s your house. They should respect the way you want your house kept. If they can’t, I would stop watching them.
I wouldn’t watch them if they refused to follow your house rules and if the parents weren’t allowing you to have those rules on their kids
I understand no yelling, as I don’t do that at my house, a stern growl is fine, just like I don’t hit my kids, id expect the same from whoever is watching them, you should be allowed to discipline them though, and they should get told off for leaving a mess, sounds like you’re not the right person to watch them, and the family are just trying to take advantage, if they want someone to follow their rules, they can pay a professional for that.
Tell them to kiss your ass
Your house your rules as simple as that
Dont watch them and avoid the whole problem.
Oh heck no… If they don’t like it they can pay someone to do the job they want! It’s your home! If you trust someone enough to watch your children you should trust them enough to properly discipline your child.
If mil has custody then she’s responsible for taking care of them, if she wants to put all these rules in Your house when you’re helping for free I wouldn’t do it. Don’t lose your sanity just so she can have her freedom & take advantage of you. Literally every daycare & babysitter has rules you’re allowed to do so as well.
Don’t watch them. If they can’t respect the fact that it’s your house and you have rules that is their issue. I personally would tell them “no I’m not watching them anymore”
Your house, your rules, if they don’t like it, get someone else, simple as, your doing them a favour remember that, plus your not getting payed, it’s time you won’t get bk, make them respect that, good luck 
Sounds like you shouldn’t be watching any kids at all till you can learn that there are ways to discipline without yelling or being harsh and the kids are noisy and messy lol. Get over it
Tell them to HIRE a babysitter, and cut them loose.
A whole lot of excellent advice here. I agree with them.
Tell them to find a new babysitter. 
I would just be honest. Tell them with out boundary and dissapline the children are running riot and wrecking your house and you are not going to be able to have them anymore. I would also start charging the mother for anything that gets broke. Most likely they are asking you because not only is it free but I expect nobody else will have them. You can’t ask somebody to babysit and tell them there not allowed rules in there house. Anybody else would have told the to f off a long time ago.
Nope.i wouldnt baby sit them
Easy Don’t watch them anymore. Period. Your house, your rules.
Nope. Tell them if you can’t enforce rules, they can find someone else to watch them
Tell them to find someone else. My house my rules
Your house your rules. Especially if you aren’t being paid. It sounds like they’re taking advantage of you!
I will not watch any child I am not allowed to discipline and I’ll be damned if I’ll have someone else’s child running my house. Tell them to hire a sitter. It is not worth the BS it will put you through
Stop watching them. You don’t sound appreciated at all. I’m so sorry
Parents that don’t put restrictions on kids end up with kids no one wants to be around.
I would be dambed if I would let in laws or there children walk all over me. Tell them if they are not going to pay you or respect you or your belongings then they need to take a hike to the closest daycare center and IE they have rules also. And besides what does it matter the kids dont want to be at your place anyways right!? Tell them all to grow up and earn some respect. Stop being there patsy. Good luck
Don’t watch them then or go over there to watch them. Them they are in their own surroundings and things
Why does MIL have custody of everyone including your stepson?
Are you working towards custody of the stepson? Is Dad or your home unsafe? Was there prior abuse or trauma? Is custody fairly recent?
This can all factor into behavior and communicating needs.
I would look into respite care options and childcare assistance. If incomes are too high to qualify, then it sounds like relatives can pitch in for food, toys, and a bit of cash.
Set firm boundaries with when you will and won’t babysit. The no yelling makes sense. That can quickly escalate to emotional abuse. There’s no reason you have to punish, yell, or hit. But that doesn’t mean no rules.
Set up the environment for success and meeting sensory needs. Keep breakables out of reach. Do heavy sensory work, outside activities, and offer lots of engaging activities. If there are challenging behaviors, trauma play therapy for the kids and family may be a great tool. Are there other unmet needs? Children communicate through behavior.
But if your heart is not in watching the kids, don’t do it. It will build resentment and be miserable for everyone. Can your fiance or someone else babysit? Otherwise, it may be time for the family to explore drop in childcare options or other sitters.
Probably should just stop watching them at all…save yourself the drama
Wait. They ask you to babysit them, but then tell you that you aren’t allowed to discipline them if they act up? Just leave them alone and let them do whatever they want? In YOUR house? Yeah no, I wouldn’t be babysitting for them anymore.
Giiirrrllll. It takes a village to raise kids. Everyone knows if im watching their child that irregardless they will follow my rules in my home the same as my son has to do. The hell is wrong with people? My son knows all the rules that apply in my home go with him to anyone else’s home and that as long as an adult is not over stepping boundaries that I wouldn’t do myself as his mother he better dam well listen.
I’ll be dammed if somebody’s bad ass kid thinks they’re going to come run my home and unapologetically so. Tell them they can pay a sitter to keep their kids in their home where they can apply their own rules.
Your house, your rules. Period! And you’re doing it for free, naw fam!!
It is very frustrating when children don’t behave in other houses.
Just a thought: but do they have toys they can play with at your house?
Maybe have toys at your house or board games, things adapted to their age. A box which they can only explore only at your house… Might make things a little more easier for you and the kids.
My house, my rules… No; if’s, and’s or but’s.
- I wouldn’t babysit them anymore, personally.
Easy don’t baby sit them at all
Rules and consequences or no babysitting.
Strictly hands off of course.
You are being took advantage of. I would never watch kids that you have no authority over. Sounds like they get to run wild at home. Let them find some one else. You & your boyfriend do need to spend time with his son without all the Chaos
So then dont watch them 
its your house so they need to follow YOUR rules. End of story
Simple…Dont watch them…they can’t respect ur house then dont let them in it…