Why did you marry him if you weren’t in love? You love him like a friend. Counseling needed
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You should see a therapist
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He deserves more. Split on good terms and give him the opportunity to find someone who will truly be in love with him.
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You can co parent without living in the same house, many many people do it successfully. If your heart isn’t in the relationship you owe it to him and yourself to end it. Otherwise, it will turn to resentment and he will be hurt, even if he knows your true feelings. You need to have a talk with him and see how he feels and how he wants to continue. Because this isn’t a choice just you make as there are children involved. It’s not healthy to stay in a relationship just for the kids. They need to see mommy and daddy happy and thriving.
This sounds to me like you don’t know yourself or love yourself. Maybe work on that.
Leave. Please. Co parent together… still be friends. But let him find someone who loves him just as much as he loves.
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Depends what his feelings are
Obviously there was romance at 1 point .you have kids together. Maybe try to bring a counselor into your lives to see if you can fall in love.
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Do you love him, does he make you feel respected, appreciated, valued, protected, cared for? If so what more could you ask for? Lust fades, it’s everything else that is hard to find.
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Do yourself a favor and go to therapy. You may have trouble with forming healthy attachments as a direct result of the abuse. If you heal yourself and find that you still don’t want a romantic relationship with him there is nothing wrong with ending the relationship amicably and co-parenting well together. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled in life. But you won’t find that until you’ve healed from the traumas.
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Love can be build, but if you can’t love him after so many years, have you just taken him for granted? I’d hate to see a good man tossed aside because you think you don’t love him. How does he feel? You said he’s known all along and still cared for you and stood by your side. That is a rare gem of a man. I don’t know what you should do because this absence of love you speak of i find it hard to believe you can’t love him after all he’s done for you. Not enough information for me to decide your path.
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You should leave. You both deserve to feel love. And it sounds like you are best friend. That’s really a huge head start to Co parenting. So, I say go.
A house is not a home without LOVE.
If you didn’t love him why did you marry him ? Divorce and co parent and let him find someone who truly loves him and isn’t staggering his heart and feelings. Work on yourself and find what you truly want
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If you don’t love them then why stay?
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I think you need to pay for some professional help. These freebies aren’t going to help you!
Maybe you need therapy. Perhaps you do love him, and just don’t realize it. It’s odd to be best friends, have kids, have gotten married, and feel nothing?
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Why stay with him let him find love 
if you loved him why did you marry him you should of told him how you felt long time ago you need to sit down and let him know how you feel don’t drag him along just for sake of the kids
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So basically you just used this man … gross and now you refuse to leave because he’s a good father? He can be a good father without being with you . You sound selfish to me…leave the man alone he deserves happiness …u deserve to be roasted
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Seek therapy for your previous abuse and go from there. He deserves a wife that’s crazy about him, even though passion can fade. And you both deserve to feel love and friendship simultaneously. He must be incredibly patient and kind, and that’s something you probably shouldn’t just give up on without a valiant effort. Best of luck. 
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I think you need to ask what more you’re really expecting, cuz the grass isnt always greener on the the other side and another trauma response is needing chaos, so you dont want to feed that monster
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There’s no such thing as “The One”!!!
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Talk to him and see what his thoughts are, you could both be missing out on true love, sounds like you would both co parent extremely well together which is a big plus for the kids.
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Stay! Absolutely do not leave! You don’t have to have a “romantic marriage” for it to be a real one. This country needs people who make a commitment and stick to it–in every facet of life.
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Hi, i dont want to judge your situation, but if this man is your best friend , he was there when you were at your worst, he is a good father of your kids, a husband to you, it means he loves you and has invested his life and love for you and now for the kids as well, if you live such a man all because of how you feel about him, because surely its not because of any wrong he has done but simply because you are not in love with him, dont you think that maybe you need help? i am saying this because every women dreams of having a husband like that especially who has been with you in your worst but you are willing to live him, and have the kids suffer the broken marriage of their parents because mom was not in love with dad no matter how good dad has been. what do you expect to find, a man you will fall in love with and he be better than the one you left and you start a greater family than the one you have already? life doesnt work like that, once a day is lost it cannot be gained back, wealth and riches can be gained once lost but finding someone to love you like this is a once of opportunity, once you tear this mansion or castle there will be no building a better one, and for just feelings, its not worth it. feelings can be changed as your were changed from abuse to love and you are living that love that healed you for what you hope is out there. its hard for you to love back even after given so much love. you need counselling dear. losing this man, your kids to chase a fantasy, will bring more pain in your life than the abused you have healed from. give it a great thought, you have a great husband, kids and family, thats all the reason to fall in love, but is it a coincident or regret for you that living maybe an option ?
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Ask him. Maybe he wants to try to find someone else too. But if he wants to stay with you then you need to decide.
I get paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 19143 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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Maybe counseling and there avenues and books on learning to love your spouse. Please check them out. Hugs and wish you the best but do not leave just because you guys are having complications. You apparently feel something you had kids and asking us for advice.
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Yikes. If this had been a guy that did this everyone would be livid. I think you already know what to do. Idk why you decided to create a whole ass life with him if you never loved him. I’d have left you long ago if I were him.
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He can still be a good father without you and him being together.
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… he can be an amazing father without you. He can also find someone who actually cares for him the way you should.
Leave. Ask him if he wants the kids to live with him or if he wants weekend visits.
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I didn’t even read this post except the first sentence. Yes, leave so he can find someone who does loves him.
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You are selfish!!! You met him when you were in a bad time of your life, you allowed him to “save” you, and now you are back where you started except you have now put him in a bad place, were probably wasent until he met you. I don’t understand why you are hanging on Let him go and find someone who truly cares about him, and you should stay on your own, until you meet someone you actually love.
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I don’t understand how can you have children with him but not be sexually attracted to him.
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Stay, for the kids. Why break up a perfectly good family and cause your kids all that trauma? If you were in an abusive relationship and the kids were witnessing it, then it would be best to leave. But you’re not. You both made a decision to have children knowing what your relationship was. Now it’s your (his and yours) moral obligation as parents to see them through. As parents, we have to put our desires aside and do what is best for our kids. Could it make us miserable? Of course! That’s what therapy is for…to learn how to cope with distress. It isn’t your kids’ fault that you don’t have the relationship you think you should have. Don’t punish them for choices you and he made. Once they’re adults, you can do whatever you want. Follow through on the commitment you both made to have and raise children together.
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Don’t hold hiM back he needs to find someone what will love him
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Not really fair to him when he could find someone who really loves him
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Interesting. Maybe talking to him might help
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You sound astonishingly self absorbed. Leave that man alone so he can find someone who loves and respects him
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I mean if y’all discuss maybe about becoming polyamorous ? If he knows you’re not in love with him and he’s not with you that may be a way to still have the family aspect and you two still be happy with your own intimacies.
I mean if y’all discuss maybe about becoming polyamorous ? If he knows you’re not in love with him and he’s not with you that may be a way to still have the family aspect and you two still be happy with your own intimacies.
You know how you feel now talk to him about what he wants. If he’s satisfied with what you can give and you’re comfortable staying then stay until one of you feels differently. Talk about all options-leaving, staying, open marriage, etc. Explore every option and decide what’s going to work best for everyone involved.
My ex and I (who have children together) were not in love.
We respect each other and are both great parents and providers.
Breaking up was the best thing we could do. We are both happier now and can each have fulfilling relationships with others while still coparentinting and treating each other well.
Just my own experience.
Talk to your husband and see what he wants and also take your needs into consideration.
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Respectfully, you need to go to therapy and sort this out Xx
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An old song was “Love, is a many flavored thing.” Sounds like you are already better off than many. What is missing? Try and develop that aspect of your relationship. Sounds like the rest is there.
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So few really decent men,I think I’d try to fall in love with him.
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Maybe try to date your husband? Get more one on one time…spice things up in bedroom with lingerie and toys…do everything possible and see if feelings grow first before just break it off. Good men are hard to find. Can develop feelings for a person. Be more intimate,cozy,and hands on with each other and go out and act like teens together on date nights. See what happens. If still nothing,then would break things off.
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So, you’re selfish?
Co-parenting is a thing. 50/50 is a thing.
I can’t believe you married him and put him thru that. 
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Sit down and talk with him, if you both a happy doing what you are doing right now then stay cuz it must work I mean neither of you are miserable
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You stay …if you had no feelings but still had his kids, and want him around for them, you stay! Unless youve re-itterated how selfish you are and not in love with him and he wants to leave. You made your bed, now lay in it 
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My darling if he is a good man keep him by all means go for counseling now a days it’s hard finding a good man I’m speaking from experience which ppl like me can find a good person
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Do him a favor and let him find love,ur kids sense it and it is not fair to them.Your husband should will find a woman that loves him
Just maybe…adult lasting love is more than a one-night fling. Edited to also say…your toes do not have to curl e-v-e-r-y-t-i-m-e to have brought pleasure.
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No think of the children
You think good men and good fathers are just walking around by the dozen?! Count yourself lucky and treat him like the King he is. Love isn’t butterflies and obsessive thoughts about each other, it’s commitment and teamwork and putting your partnership and family before all else.
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Love is a choice. But therapy will also probably help this. 
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Let him go so he can find someone who truly loves him. Someone out there is looking for a good man like this.
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You need to do him a favor and leave. He deserves be to be with someone who loves him.
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How do you marry someone you don’t love???
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Open ur eyes and smell the roses. .
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Wow just wow!!! 
You said it yourself, you got out of an abusive relationship. As one abuse survivor to another listen carefully…you are used to the highs and lows of feelings from that abusive relationship. Love is not this big feeling of butterflies and giddiness and so on. It’s not the highs you remember in that abusive relationship. It’s actually kinda dull in a way compared to that lol. I’m in a healthy relationship now. The reason I know it is real love is because when he is reaching goals he has set, or has his dreams panning out I feel excited and happy for him and keep cheering him on. When he is hurting, I hurt for him and want to be there for him. Even if it is just to be at his side quietly as he goes through it so he is not alone. He is the same way with me. He is usually a pretty serious guy, but if I’m down he turns into the biggest goofball I have ever met and when I start smiling and laughing…he’ll say there it is, there is that beautiful smile and ask if there is anything I need. We help each other with our dreams and create dreams together. We give each other a hand up when needed to help one another succeed. We are the epitome of best friends and make the choice every day to continue being at each other’s side. To make our adventure through life at each others side. We cant imagine a present or future without the other in it. I would start with therapy and go from there if I were you. You are going to need your best friend and the father of your children when you begin that part of your journey. It may not mean that is where you finally find yourself in the end, at his side. At least you will be making decisions from a healed place in your life.
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Couldn’t he have helped you without getting married. You dont love him but had kids with him. How stupid.
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Sounds like the favor will be yours.
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Are you sure you don’t just have a distorted idea of what love SHOULD be? Because if no one is unhappy and y’all don’t want to change it that sounds like there’s love…
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This was my life with my ex boyfriend. We met when I was lonely, he was amazing to me and my kids. He was so in love with me, but the feelings weren’t mutual. I considered him a best friend. After 4 years, I had to do him and myself a favor and let him go. I knew I needed to let him find someone that loves him as much as he loves them and I wanted to be with someone I could have a connection with. I’m so glad that I let him go. I finally found “the one” and we’re currently engaged. As for my ex, we are still friends and he is still a very big part of my kids life. Their father was never around and he raised them, so he still gets them every other weekend. I now regret how long it took me to leave, I feel like I wasted too many years of his life.
My advice to you would be to leave. That would do you both a favor. You both deserve happiness. Life is too short!
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You should talk to him not us. Maybe he doesn’t mind since he knows already
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He shouldn’t be a convince for you he has feeling that you have messed up when and if you ever leave this man you gone look back and realize that you truly loved this man but it will be too late Matter of fact you’ve got to love yourself before you love someone else we’re you shown love when you was a child from your dad look within and ask yourself why you feel like this towards this man cause it some men out their gone feel the same way bout you that you feel bout this man I hope he’s okay about this situation
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Leave and don’t come back when you find there is nothing out there or you get played
Could it be that you are so focused on wether you should leave, that you haven’t thought about what you could do to stay? I suggest therapy so you can sort these thoughts and feelings out. Other than your confusion, it sounds like a good solid marriage worth at least fighting for. Just make sure all the doors are closed first if you leave.
I’d say if you are best friends sit him down and have a heart to heart talk together. You both deserve to be happy and you can co-parent effectively if you both agree on the arrangements. If you’re just using him then that’s wrong. Just staying for the kids never works either. If there is no love or affection between their parents as they get older, they’ll eventually pick up on that and not learn how to be loving and affectionate themselves if they never see it. You guys are their roll models. Open marriage is very wrong in my opinion. Talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel. The kids are very important but you can’t stay with someone just for the kids. You and him matter too and if you’re decent and civil to each other you can co-parent together just as well as you can in one home as in two if you do it right. Just don’t forget to discuss if you do split you’ll both probably move on with other people and that can’t be a problem for either one of you. No jealousy, no not liking the others choice in a mate and no smart ass or nasty opinions about the new person being around the kids. No animosity between the two of you is the only way it will work smoothly. Don’t use the guy or play games with his head. Be honest and decide together what will make both of you happy. 
If you know you don’t love him, and HE knows you don’t love him… then just ask him what his opinion is
If you are happy together with the way you are no reason to break up a happy family? But if you are looking for more like love and passion maybe it is best to move on. For me I wanted the friendship so badly in my marriage I am separated for 9 years now but nothing there? Just lies from him…I hate lies… I agree with Kat asking his opinion if he is very happy with the way things are. It is a very important decision between the both of you, think carefully first though…
You speak of the needs for your kids and your husband but what about you???if you are not happy within your marriage it will show and eventually affect not you your husband but also your children…. Separating won’t make you a bad mother and him a bad father but you have to think about you … imagine how much more you can be and can do if you are happy
You should do him the favor and leave.