I’m 26, and I have two children that I birthed myself and two that live with me full time as my husband has full custody of them. They call me mum, and they know no different. I also have a stepson that visits regularly. My question is I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again, and I’m terrified, I have a small 4-bed house with no garden, and I don’t know how to plan space-wise or anything, also how did other mummies find the transition to more, my daughter is one, and she is so clingy, and I am literally scared she won’t take this well I feel awful because this should be her time with us and I feel I’m taking it away from her? I work 40+ hours a week to pay for my family, and my husband works 30+ I’m so scared ill be judged or that I’m a bad parent for taking time away from my others or that I don’t have enough space. They’re all so young. Basically just looking for some words of wisdom or stories from others that are in similar situations.
Space has no place in your worries. Give each child all your love, they won’t care if the have to share a room or not. Housework is to be minimal as long as you spend quality time with your family. Being a single mom, my kids, when asked, said times we played games or went to the park, etc. were their best memories not that I had a big house or spotless one.
You’re not a bad parent at all! Don’t tell yourself that! Life throws things our way and we just have to learn how to live with new changes. I’m sure it’ll be hard at first, but everyone will adjust with time. Congrats by the way!!
Well first off, it’s not your job to worry what others have to say or think about you.
Let me ease your mind a little bit. I was a young mother 3 kids by the age of 16. 1st I was young dumb & stupid following 2 I was on birth control. I lived in a 2 bed 1 bath,That was now 25 years ago. I am now a mother of of 5 total 38 yrs old & I have a granddaughter. Who cares what people think. Everything that happens is in God’s hands.
I will pray for nothing but the best for you & your family. Be blessed & never stressed 
Your a woman u got this 
I loved sharing a room with my sister. I think it made us close. Congrats! It’ll all work out 
you’ll be alright! just do what you can. start making lifestyle changes that will help set aside extra money… we decided it was beneficial for us after our 3rd that my spouse stays home (day care was ridiculous) and I work as much as I can, but also spend as much quality time as I can with the kids. we eat meals together every night we color and do crafts. my older 2 share a room and my youngest is with us. all us moms never know how we’re going to make it but we do. I say fake it til you make it!
I grew up with loads of siblings and loved it. Always had to share a room and always had someone to play with! Congratulations on your pregnancy and please don’t worry too much 
I can’t speak from personal experience but my mom always said, “what you do for one, you do for all”…she had 9 kids 
Don’t let anyone bring you down! You got this now you definitely got this with one more. Positive vibes your way!
I have 5. You take it day by day. You will be fine and there will be days where you will cry and laugh and want to rip your hair out but you will be okay.
Pray that God gives you direction…be patient and diligent in prayer. He says bring me your burden…
I am a male sixty six years old and I’m married and we have mine hers and ours. And we have always found a way. To love our children and grandchildren all you you can do is teach them right from wrong. And let them make their choices. Whether you agree or not. They will grow up and you will be proud of them. Be safe.
First step, stop worrying what others will think. Not their life. 🤷 Second, everything falls into place. I have a girls and due with my son the beginning of April. Each time I thought how am I going to do this?? You get into a routine and it all falls into place. Promise. 
I grew up with 5 siblings in a small house. There just seems to be a way. We always loved getting a new sibling and we older ones helped to care for the younger ones. I am very close to my younger siblings.
Congratulations! I’m the youngest of 7. It was great growing up in a large family. We didn’t have much but each other and lots of love. My sister and I were in bunk beds in a tiny room. We shared our clothes. We are still very close. Kids are resilient. They will be fine as long as you love them.
God will give you the time! Remember the blessings. Somehow my Mom did 6
Lol girl don’t even worry I am having my 4th in a 2 bedroom townhouse with no basement . One big teenager and me with the 3 little ones in a room and 7-7:30 bed time still works
When my youngest niece was born. Three weeks after the brought her home, her older sister announced she was done playing with the new baby and they could return her. The kids adjust. You will adjust. The little one will adjust. Just remember not to judge yourself too too harshly. If they end each day alive and fed, count it a win. If you manage even more than that, could it a big win.
• Routine/schedule is your friend. If everyone knows what they need to do when, including a period of free time, life goes more smoothly.
• You can throw all the girls in one bedroom & all the boys in another. Tents & sleeping bags if you can’t afford bunks/mattresses from IKEA.
• Throw the tiny ones in the tub together or have older ones of the same sex shower at the same time to save hot water & time.
• Everyone does homework in blocks of time (older ones help younger ones & solidify their mastery of previous material), eats at least one meal together (maybe breakfast depending on activities).
• Enlist everyone’s help getting housework done. See if you can make it fun. Everyone has daily chores/responsibilities. Play x number of pieces of music & everyone should have their stuff put away and their chore(s) done by the time the music stops. It just delineates the time; no bonus for rushing through sloppily. The youngest can put toys in a box/bin, put clean clothes on a shelf or on her bed for you to hang up later, bring/hand you diapers and wipes, hold the bottle or pat baby’s back for burping, sing to the new baby, hold its hands or rub its feet, dust table and chair legs, put silverware and other unbreakables on the table or in the dishwasher, turn the pages of a picture book, put dirty clothes in a hamper, help load and unload the washer (if front loading, up to you if you want her to stand on a stepstool to toss dirty clothes in a top loader) and dryer, fold washcloths and hand towels and try to match socks. Put mop heads on their feet & let the kids squirt cleaner & mop the floors.
• Find stuff you can do as a family. Puzzle night can have several puzzles of varying difficulty appropriate for each age. Pass the new baby and one year old around so they don’t get bored. Take a walk with strollers for the tiniest and have a list of things to look for on the way (blue car, black rock, thorny leaf, a person wearing glasses and a hat, an out of state license plate, a house, white shutters, etc.). Go to a playground and have the older kids push the younger ones in a swing, older ones can kick a soccer ball or shoot hoops on a basketball court. Hit a fun museum, zoo, aquarium or natural feature near you. Check local sources for special programs/events/parades. Learn the latest dance together. Go swimming as a family with the tiny ones in swim diapers & water wings.
• Make sure you & dad have at least an hour of one-on one time with each child once a month, more often if doable.
• Simplify meal prep & get the kids to help. Pre-cut fruits, veggies, meal kits, maybe do stuff in blocks, like cut up onions, peppers & cooked chicken and freeze in containers to toss in recipes, make a ton of meatballs and freeze for spaghetti, Swedish meatballs, stroganoff, crumbled in tacos, lasagna, salads. Try to be healthy. Black bean soup on 90-second brown rice (I grate some fresh onion & squeeze fresh limes on top too) is a fast & easy dinner. Cheese, chicken or crumbled meatballs, those pre-cut peppers and onions tossed in a flour tortilla and topped with salsa & sour cream is easy quesadilla and add a bagged salad.
• Share carpooling to activities with other parents to ease the burden. I used to pick up all the scouts from 3 families from school, take them out for a cheap dinner (pizza, pasta, tacos, burgers), then to the meeting and drop them off at home afterwards. The next week another mom or dad would do it, and then the third mom/dad/grandparent would, so each family gets 2 weeks off duty.
• Told my son he couldn’t play another sport unless he found someone to drive him. We had a one-sport-per-kid per season and a no travel team rule. Just too crazy. Anything at school that didn’t involve driving all over was OK.
• For sports, the kids not on the team can cheer with pom poms from the dollar store or Oriental Trading, kick or toss balls on the sidelines or just run around away from the field/court. Mine liked visiting with the dogs and other parents and kids other families brought. Babies can nap in strollers, crawl on the grass, play in shade or sit in your lap.
• Expand your “village” as much as possible. Find lonely people of all ages who would welcome some noise and children in their lives. Look at work, church, retirement communities, neighbors, people on this forum or parents of only or other children looking for playmates, middle, high school and college kids, especially those in family life education and child development classes. Have them come one time where you stay home with them to see how it goes/if they can handle your brood.
• Don’t forget to budget for babysitters (you might need two at a time—get two teens who are friends) and nights out for you and the hubs at least once a month.
• I thought someone was extravagant for having a birthday at an Embassy Suites, but everyone piled into one suite (sleeping bags may be required) for a sleepover, they played in the pool to tire themselves out, ordered delivery pizza, & brought drinks, cake, paper goods. All got the free breakfast (your excuse to get them up, packed, dressed & picked up by the parents) in the morning and you leave any mess there (plus a tip for housekeeping). All in all, not bad! There’s even a happy hour for the grown ups, at least in non-pandemic times. If you can afford it, could be a fun family night for something different and special, as long as there’s a pool open & free breakfast (may be affected by COVID). Ask the hotel for the best days to do this when it won’t upset people there on business.
You have enough love to go around and that’s the most important. You’ll do fine, especially when pregnancy hormones settle down.
Proud mother of a blended family of 6, 5 of which we raised. I won’t say it was easy but I wouldn’t change a thing. We have his, hers and ours…never easy but worth the trials if you love each other. Stop worrying what others think and just love each other while working to build a life. In the end if you love each other that’s all that matters and you will succeed
Honey nothing happens out of turn… You’ll be just fine just love on your kids and your family and make do with what you already have around you. I know you’re scared, when I was pregnant with my second just 16 months after my first, I was scared because I was young, i didn’t even have a grip on my first yet and it was really hard for me but I overcame and I’m still standing and managing really well today. You’ll do fine, be strong and encouraged… Sending virtual hugs your way!!
You can do it 
Get a 4 person bunk bed, you may not feel like you have enough floor space but you can start using the height of your home to your advantage. You can also get a trundle/day bed for your stepchild who isn’t there all the time. You got this
There is no right way to be a mom. You do your best and love them unconditionally and somewhere in the craziness, life works out somehow.
Before my youngest was born, my then 3 year old was having baby anxiety. It’s usually the idea that there is “x” amount of time and love and now that is being divided. We did the big arm spread “I love you this much”. I told him mommys heart grows with the baby so she can love you and him big arm spread this much. I know it was a corny lie, but it worked.
Life now includes 2 step children. Although all my boys are now 10-16 trying to make sure we carve out some 1 on 1 with each of them once a week. A little bit can go a long way.
Stay strong mama. You got this
If you want to you will find a way - also, adoption is beautiful. Many wealthy, warm and wonderful homes, who want a child so badly, and can give a child so much time and attention. Either way your pregnancy is a beautiful thing.
It will all work out in the end!! We have a small 2 bedroom house. I have 3 children and my fiancé moved in with his 3 2 years ago. We now have 5 boys ranging from 8-12, and a 3 year old girl… plus my disabled mother in our little house… we make it work… even worse we only have 1 bathroom 
I wouldn’t change it for the world!!
I was a foster mom with 12 children once. You can manage. Just takes time and planning.
I would get your 1 year old involved as much as possible with the new baby. During your pregnancy and after.
Itll work out, & one day you’ll look back and wonder why you ever worried about it. Prayers to you mama, your doing great
Your big kids will adjust as will everyone. Can your husband take on some additional duties at home to help lighten the burden. I say be very open with family both kids and SO about your worries and concerns. Kids are more flexible than we give them credit for
You will figure it out. Obviously, your husband will take on more domestic duties bc you put more hours in. That makes you a super woman. Don’t doubt yourself.
Everything will be okay. Make every decision you make out of love not fear:blue_heart: Enjoy every moment with your family and they will enjoy every moment with you! Your little one will learn and you will always still be there for them all. Dont stress it hun, you’ve got this! 
Good luck!!!
It Will Work Out For you.
Fck what others think!!
Congrats and be happy
There is no right way to do it momma.
You will adjust once he/she is here!
Get bunk beds for the older kids !! It helps ALOT
Save clothes , toys etc it also helps
First of all, your already doing brilliant, you have 4 children full time and one part time, the great thing about a one year old is how quickly they adjust, and they will love being a big sister. You have 3 bedrooms for 5 children including the new baby, even with one box room, you have two to a room and one in the box room. Your stepson who visits probably doesn’t need a room and would be happy to bunk in with his siblings or sleep on a sofa bed. As for worrying about what others think, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one!!
I remember when I had my first at 21 I was told I was to young, and others said it would be brilliant for my child having a young mum, I breast fed and for everyone that praised me another said I was stupid to tie myself to the baby. So simply you do what is right for you and your family and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
Where’s there’s a will there’s a way just remember that. I had 4 and worked 50+ hours a week so did my husband and our kids were not neglected
Everything will be ok. Found i was pregnant a month after my little one turned 1. I just started a university course and working. Also live in a 1 bed flat. We have managed somehow. Things just work out. Good luck
We never know how things will work, but they do! Whatever you do, don’t stress!
I’m one of 10 you’ll find the time
Pray about it, it will all work out in the end. Ill be praying for you.
I think we all worry in the beginning and really it all works out one way or another.
you’re a mama you can do this, everything usually works it’s self out on the end
Awww you will make it work
It will be okay. You’ll find this one will fit just perfectly.
Double or triple up. Use bunk beds.
I just had my 4th in Aug 2019 at 37. We had bo space, but somehow it worked. My kids were 17, 11 and 8 when he was born, they adore him and help me so much. He sleeps in my room for now and we will find bigger accommodations in a year or 2. I had the same thoughts but the transition was really easy for us.
Lol you’re complaining about having a 4 bedroom house? How dare you. People are homeless because of covid.
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My only advice is breathe. It will work out we are women we adapt. It will be ok buy some bunk beds and start talking positive about it. And if u weighed ur options and this really isn’t right then you always have options. If ur early enough u can look for appropriate options for u and then there is always adoption. It will be ok …
Don’t worry a house built with love will always find a way. After you have more than 2 kids any after it all feels the same. Plus as the kids grow they will help each other which will help you. More kids actually end up easier.
I was raised in a two bedroom house till I was 12,with two brothers and two sister’s, one bathroom.Sweetie,I’d of thought you were living in a mansion growing up,you are going to be fine.You might be very surprised by your youngest,she might like being a big sister.
My mum had 11 children. There was one income cos mum was busy in her career raising worthwhile children. Us. We didn’t go without any of the main things in life. We learned alot of things. And we were taught to help each other, your older kids will help you, as will friends, and everyone who loves kids. You, will, do, ok.
a bonus is they are all so young and kids adapt far better than us adults, not the same but i have 9 year age gap and was terrified while pregnant with my 3rd that the gap would be too big,she’s 5 now and the teens wouldn’t be lost without her
Stop worrying about what people think, you don’t judge them, so concentrate on your situation, … Before this baby arrives, your little one will be a bit older, she may love being the big sister to a baby, her little sister. Or brother When I had 4 expecting no 5, I had some rush scary thoughts, when my son arrived, he was such a good baby, I managed so much better than I thought I would. The next child up from him a sister, at first thought I loved the new baby more than her, but after a time she realised a baby does need more time and attention, so all is good. Just don’t get too tired, you have the skills to parent, you’ve shown that already. You’ll be surprised how much you remember from your other kids, good uck, enjoy this time.
I have four children under the age of 6. My youngest two are 16 months apart. My youngest daughter is and was very clingy and mommy all of the time. The kids learn how to cope with a new baby. She loves her little brother the same with my older two. Take a deep breath. Kids tend to do well with change. You do the best that you can for you and for your family. My hardest transition was from one to two actually. All of the ones after that were easy.
I had six, the first four were only 9 months apart and all I can say is organisation is the key and I let the children listen to the babies heartbeat that made them invested in the baby it was nolonger mine but theirs and they loved helping after feeding and reading to the younger ones it was easier when I went up one the worst transition was from 1 to 2 after that it seemed to become easier and they occupied and helped with each other
4 bedroom house is big. Two parents. You guys are blessed. Last thing you should be worried about is others opinion of you and your family.
I guess I’m going to be the one with the unpopular comment… is this what you want to do? You do have choices, as difficult as they may be to make. If bringing another child into existence is what you want to do then you will find a way to make it work. It will be hard and there will be nights where you will feel utterly exhausted and think you are doing everything wrong, your house will look a mess and baths will be missed but children will be loved and bellies will be full, memories will be made and lives will be molded. If carrying to term is not something you want to do but rather something you feel you are suppose to do then talk to your husband, see your doctor, speak to a counselor and make the choice that is best for you and the lives that are in your home will still flourish, memories will still be made, bellies will still get full, you will still have nights where you are exhausted and feel like you have done everything wrong because as a mother that is what we do. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and are our own worst critics.
8 people and 4 rooms… 2 people per room seems fare and should be spacious enough. Get fresh sets of bowls an dishes and there should be one for each of you lol just try to cherish all your spare time with your babies and relax when you can (I know that is easier said than done) especially working 40 hours weekly. You’re doing great and I am sure your youngest will adjust quickly, young kids tend to do OK with change
I have three sons all in one small room and my fiancé and I in the other room. Small house tiny yard for the medium sized dog to go potty. Don’t stress too much mamas you got this! A 4 bedroom is large enough and manageable for 6 children and 2 adults. Just breathe. You’ve got this, your a queen!
It always works out !!
4 bedroom house is plenty big. And there is nothing wrong with being a working parent. I have 3 kids and I work 60+ hours a week. Don’t worry about what others think.
Just say fuck it and do your best.
We are a family of seven in a two bedroom house. Things will work out.
It’s tough, do the best you can. Bunks are awesome and breathe
It won’t let me post pics but google bunk rooms and you can do wall to wall bunk beds and have tons of space and they are cheap to make and easy----your just building rectangles. You can even do curtains for privacy and add a plug to each if you know anyone that can run eclectic.
The stairs for the top bunk become the fallout guard for the bottom
You know how a person gets pregnant right? You knew you already cared for 4 children right? You know about birth control right?
Whatever you do think twice before you even consider an abortion like someone suggested. The repercussions of an abortion are horrible! One of those is P.A.S.( post abortion SYNDROME) you can look it up. There’s a little human in you that is already formed and is alive. This angel is already feeling your stress. Once you have more than one child they take care & play with each other. They’re a team and watch out for each other, they bond from kids to adults. It does depend on you & your husband to bring the family together. I haven’t heard if you or your husband belong to a church. If you don’t it would be a great idea, because they have alot of support for families. I know praying for my family & going to church helped out alot. Don’t stress over the new baby, tell the kids this is their baby and what would they like to do to help you with their new sibling. That’s what I did with my kids and that stopped any preference on one child. We all shared the baby. They shared the joy of the new addition to the family. If they see you happy & welcoming the new baby, they will too. Your & your husband’s attitude is really crucial to the success of your family. Bring all your kids together and talk to them about the new baby, celebrate the new arrival, take votes on what it’s going to be and give a prize to whomever comes close . Make it fun & exciting for them, then when the baby arrives they’ll accept him or her because you INVOLVED them with the baby. But you need to put away your concerns on how they are going to react or what other people think. Your family is the only ones that matter. If you don’t want anymore kids have a tubal ligation so this doesn’t happen again. Be BLESSED.
As to the older girl child, dub her Mommy special helper. Give her jobs, put her in charge of baby, include her in everyday chores so she feels special
My two that I birthed are 15 months apart. I worried about the same things with my daughter but it was actually truly amazing how much she loved her brother before he was even born. As for time and space you already sound like you manage very well. I’m sure you’ll figure out the space and everything in time. This is any type of fear that a pregnant mother has so don’t stress too much and do what you can and you’ll get through it all.
Its not your baby it’s our baby.( you , your husband and all your kids.) Everyone helps with new baby. Your youngest can make sure to get you when baby cries.
Start young with them helping with house. Used to put my pj underneath my pillow for next night didn’t get clean ones every night.
I have 4 kids, there will be frustrating days but the kids just need to know you love them… keep easy stuff on hand, let them use their imaginations. Puzzles, paper, boxes, blanket forts, quiet corner when needed, they will work it out, kids adapt very well. This will surprise you you the most. Libraries and parks are your friend.
enjoy your children, enjoy your pregnancy, Who cares if you live in 10,000 sq ft home or a 1,000 sq ft home, As long as there is love, you will be fine
My husband had 7 siblings and slept on a trundle bed the rolled out from under his brother’s bed. You will love the new one just as much as the rest and everything will fall into place. Maybe look into buying or building triple bunk beds for the older kid’s rooms and a crib in your room when the new one gets here. If you aren’t wanting anymore kids after this one maybe look into a better form of birth control like IUD, tied tubes, vasectomy… but for now kids can share their space.
The very fact that you’re so worried about this tells me that you’ll do fine. It’s hard to find that balance, but you’re clearly invested in your children’s well-being. There’s about as big of an age difference between my sister and me as your youngest two, and we are both very close to our parents. Just make sure they get one-on-one time still. We used to do an activity with each parent once a month one-on-one.
What a blessing you are receiving! I grew up in a full size bed with 2 sisters( 1 two yrs younger, 1 11 yrs younger) in one bedroom and 5 brothers all in another bedroom. Great training as we took care of each other. You will make it work, love is the most important thing. 
Have you ever heard of birth control or perhaps a tubal ligation. Those should be your next choice. Grow up and get a brain.
Maybe get on some form of b c
Bunk beds for boys and girls rooms. Then nursery for your 1 year old and new baby. Momma you got this don’t worry about not having enough time. As long as you love everyone and you do. Everything will be ok. Keep your head up and loving those kids. Remember kids make the world go round
You got it momma. I have 6 kiddos full time (5 being super young). 3 have special needs, my husband works nights so it just me and kiddos 95% of time.
You just put one foot in front of the other and push on there is no wrong or Wright way being a mother is the hardest job for any woman stay strong god bless
My mom had 11 children there was enough love to go around. Your child will have a playmate.
My neighbor has 11 children it is a bunch of work. The rewards are plenty, every person in the family helps.
A baby is a gift from God, you will be blessed. Relax your one year old will have a live doll.
Is anyone else confused about the garden comment??
Take some deep breaths, communicate with your partner, and go through all your options.
Everything will fall into place momma!!! I promise 
DONT STRESS IT. Combined family with 7 total now. 2 are never here by their choice(one of those 2 are grown and the other us 15 and jealous of the baby? Atleast thats what his own sister who comes says) and one comes every other weekend. Things fall into place you just need to not stress it
Just take your time
I know what my suggestion would be but im sure this group would flip out so I won’t say it. But you need to get on some damn birth control