I am pregnant and found out my childs father is cheatin with a married woman

Easier to move on now than 10 years & 3 kids in like a previous post on here. You can do it, focus on a healthy pregnancy & happy baby. It’s his loss & in no time you’ll be into an awesome motherhood groove & wondering what you ever saw in him.

You haven’t failed your baby or yourself, If anything, you saved both of you from this person, Please, Please, whatever you do , DON’T go back to him if he asks, (if he does,) Whether 2 months from now, or 6 or a yr…stay far away from him & thank his girlfriend for everything, Because without her, you would never have found out just what kind of person he is

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Count your blessings , thank goodness you found out now so you can get it all out before your beautiful baby gets here. Yes your son deserves a father but that isn’t your job . Your job is to be his awesome mother and show him all the love and strength you can . It will be his father’s job to be whatever kinda dad he decides to be . I do hope you know you can do this you can be all he needs if it comes down to it . One day at a time and never go back or trust him again.

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You didn’t fail your son, at all! I promise you that long-term, you and your son will be much better off for it. Your son deserves the kind of father that will be there to support him and that he can lean on and trust to be a good example of how to treat women and you both together would have been an unhealthy relationship to grow up watching, if this is how he is already. Had he cheated on you after the baby was here and left you both, once the child was attached, it would have been so much worse on you both. I know it’s heartbreaking now, as it is, but if he’s willing to leave his family for a whole different one, then he isn’t worthy of his family - either of you. You CAN do this alone, trust me. I had my first right after my 22nd bday and her dad died a little over a year later. I thought I could never get through it. She will be 11 in a few months and I have 2 more kids and am a single mom of 3.5 years now, to all 3 of them. I used to feel such guilt for not giving them a “real” family, but now I’ve realized that a real family is what you make it, and real parents and partners don’t just leave you for a whole other family. That’s no way for a child to start life at all. You both deserve better and you will give that to him, all on your own. I promise. It may not feel like it today, but in a year, you’ll llook back and feel so empowered about how you survived❤️️

Hugs to you! I had my eldest child at 18 and remember being scared. Dad and I were not together nor on the same page (he’s a cheater) but I’ve made it through and she’s 29. lt’s going to be rough so try to have a support system and therapist in place BEFORE he is born; postpartum depression can be overwhelming. Volunteer organizations can help with this and get custody before he files.

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count your blessings, cut your losses, have a great life; you are so young with a full life ahead with someone who actually deserves you. bre thankful

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Like every single mum you just have to get on with it and just piss him off

I’m so sorry this happened to you. don’t blame yourself it’s not your fault.

Better now then later after baby is born! U can do mstill have a family ur young n u will eventually meet someone new n look can and laugh that u ever wasted a tear on that loser… its step daddy’s every where steppin in.

You did not fail!!! You just gave your trust to the wrong person. You are going to be OK. I was 18 and pregnant too and now my kids are grown. You’ve got this. Focus on you and your baby.

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Love your baby extra every single day

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My daughter has been a single mama since day one at 19. You can do it too. My grandson has a good life, she works hard to provide for him and gives him way more than a many kids out there. She knows he is her priority and still makes time for herself. Obviously they cant have everyththey on a single income but they dont go without. Others will adopt your child at heart. This too shall pass.

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You didn’t fail your son his father did and never forget that. You have done nothing wrong and you can most definitely move on and be happy and you don’t need any man to do that!

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Girl, you don’t need this “man”. Any guy that can step out on his own children aren’t worth very much. Aren’t worth your time crying over either. Get him on child support and get on with your life. Easier said than done I’m sure, but you don’t want your child to grow up with you miserable because their nasty dad couldn’t keep his thing to himself.

YOU are not failing your child by getting away from his maker. He’s not a father. I was 18 when I became a mom and after 11 months I married my daughters daddy, he was married when I got prego, and he had a toddler son, only to live in hell. Within the 1st 2 weeks I was battered and beaten. I left him and 7 years later I got the money together to divorce him after he got another women with 5 kids prego. My child met her bio dad when she turned 17, I never said ANYTHING bad about him to her. She met him by accident through one of his 5 step children. She is an adult now and has NO contact with him. She found out herself what kind of person he is. You be the best you can be and do the best you can do. Your child will be better off. Women do not need a man to define them. Children don’t need both parents to define them. My prayers are with you.

Once a cheat, always a cheat…you’ve lost nothing!

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One thing I learned during my divorce was not to carry his parenting responsibilities on my back. My son is what got me through my divorce. he’s 10 now and everything I do I do for him. You got his mama! Honestly if it’s hurting you and someone wants to tell you something about him, just say no thank you I’m working on healing. Don’t call him or text him. Block them both on social media.

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You don’t need him. You will find someone that will love you and your son. :heart::100:

He messed up, no you, he messed up, he choose to act instead of not.

Don’t let him in the hospital!
Of you can avoid putting him on the birth certificate be like I’m not sure we need to do a dna test.
File for child support right away.

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The only thing you have lost is a man child. Which is great.

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I’m so sorry ur having to deal with this. She did u and ur son a favor. He has shown u his true colors and ur lucky he did so now and not 10 years and 4 kids later. U can now find the right person for u. Cause this dude isn’t it. Also if I were u I wouldn’t out him on the birth certificate. That will just give him more right over ur baby. He don’t need to be on there to pay u child support. U should check into the laws in ur state about custody. Like here in Michigan if ur not married mom had full custody of the baby. My now husband wasn’t happy about that when we had our oldest.

I’m so sorry ur having to deal with this. She did u and ur son a favor. He has shown u his true colors and ur lucky he did so now and not 10 years and 4 kids later. U can now find the right person for u. Cause this dude isn’t it. Also if I were u I wouldn’t out him on the birth certificate. That will just give him more right over ur baby. He don’t need to be on there to pay u child support. U should check into the laws in ur state about custody. Like here in Michigan if ur not married mom had full custody of the baby. My now husband wasn’t happy about that when we had our oldest.

Know of a family where hubby cheated and moved in with his girlfriend and her 5 children, abandoning his own two. He now whines about the child support he has to pay on his two, because he is also the sole support of the 5 that aren’t his!

Get help professional
For you and your child that’s coming. The baby is important not the looser father

It’s 2022. There are plenty of men wanting to play step daddy and have a family. You are so very young and with that comes a lot of guilt of the way things are “supposed” to be. It’s already hard enough to be a mom at a young age, let that overgrown man child go be with that married woman and hold your head up high. You didn’t fail your son, he did. Work extra hard to thrive, take in all the baby snuggles, and you will be okay :heart:

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No you didn’t fail. Just raise your son the way you want to be treated

Failing your child would be staying with a cheating man. Teaching your son to respect women and putting your effort into your new baby rather than putting the energy towards him.

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You didnt fail. He did.

She did you a favor. If he can leave a woman 34 weeks pregnant with his Son for a “one night” stand with a married woman with children (and now “be in love”), she did you a HUGE favor. He isn’t “in love” he is “infatuation” with (more than likely since she has a home and they are now vacationing) her money. You don’t need that. Concentrate on your baby and don’t look back.

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Hey, chin up!!! You didn’t fail, he did. I am a single mother, and my son is 14… his father ghosted right after I told him I was pregnant and hasn’t been an active participant in his life. If he doesn’t want to be there, don’t force it. Being a single parent isn’t easy, but it is so worth it, and your son will love and appreciate you more because you are there!!! Im sorry you are dealing with this, but you will be OK in the end.

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So sorry this happened to you at such a young age but you are better off you and baby will be fine it sounds like you will be the best mom from your post he may come crawling back when it don’t work out with this married woman please don’t take him back best of luck love :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Girl, any man who could throw your relationship away that quickly wasn’t in it for the right reasons to begin with. Karma will deal with both of them at some point. It isn’t your job to make him be a father. He will either do it, or he won’t. Your only concern now needs to be taking care of yourself and preparing for baby. When baby is born, file for sole custody, and child support. If at any point, he tries to come crawling back, shut it down. Be grateful he showed you who he is now, versus 3, 4, 5 years down the road. You dont want to set that kind of example for your son. And you certainly deserve better. It may be hard, but what’s about to happen, will change your life forever. When that baby gets here, you’ll find out what love really means. There simply is no comparison. Enjoy that newborn stage. It really is the best. This isn’t the end, only the beginning. You’ll see. :heart:

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Well this sounds awful. They’re both g@rbage humans. This isn’t what you imagined. But honey I’d rather know now then know later. Take him to court NOW and make sure he takes responsibilities for his dang actions. Stay strong look at support groups and local businesses for help. Hang in there

You don’t need him and as painful as it is to let go I would let him go. Name the father of your child unknown so you don’t need to fight for custody.The second option is to take him to court for child support which means he would keep getting involved. The choice is up to you but be consistent in your choice.

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Write a book about it, I find writing to be quite therapeutic. And who knows, maybe you’ll become a rich and famous author! Sweet revenge. The fact that you’re worried already says a lot about the kind of mom you’ll be!

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Prayers everything works out for you and baby

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Agree with everyone above. Girl you don’t need that fool. Karma is gonna come around

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it is probably a blessing in disguise as much as you may not see that now

Are you sure he wasn’t married to her this whole time and he was cheating on her with you? Either way he is the wrong one and sounds like he played you and her. Cutting him off emotionally will be best for you so you can start healing

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Honey step dads are the best!! Just take your time and heal, date different this time and give your sin the positive father figure he needs :black_heart:

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And she’s using him to get over her husband, he’ll be trying to crawl back soon

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Girl, you are young. Your baby daddy is lesson #1! He’s trash. Let her have him! Focus on you, your son and your future. When that baby is born, immediately file for custody and child support. If the man won’t physically, emotionally and financially support his child on his own, at the very least, the court will force him to support him financially.

Be strong you can do it.

Well… luckily you found out now vs later. All you can do is prepare on having the baby. Seek assistance with the state. You going to need a parenting plan and request child support. Depending on his age it probably won’t be much. You can never depend on a man. He’ll probably come back around. Don’t fall for it. You’re so young.

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This guy gives men a bad rap. There are good men out there who will love you and your son the way you deserve. Do not let this define you. You ARE deserving of love and you will find it as long as you know your worth and you DO NOT SETTLE!
Plus, your sperm donor and that women will not make it. Relationships are built on trust and she already knows she can’t trust him.

This is a blessing in disguise. When your baby is born, you will realize he is all you’ll ever need and he will love you like no other. You will be much happier NOT in a relationship with someone that could do that to you guys. Everything happens for a reason. You got this momma :heart:

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It is what it is…, have your baby and be the best mom you can be…as far as his father I pray he steps up and be the man and father he needs to be for you and y’all son…if not take whatever legal actions you feel you need to or grind it out on your own….We are our worst critic don’t beat yourself up about the situation… you live and learn…just like he over there taking care of another man’s kids someone will come along and do the same

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It is good that you found out now vs later. I found out my child’s father cheated on me my whole pregnant, and the whole 1.5 years after until we broke up for good. I found out he slept with my best friend in the backseat of my car while I was passed out (they forced me to take too much Tylenol while I had a fever at 6 months pregnant). I was naive and 18 at the time as well. Do NOT put that man on the birth certificate. That causes so many new problems that you couldn’t even dream of like custody issues, threats, lawyers, money, etc. My daughter now has an amazing step dad that basically calls her his own child since he’s helped me raise her since she was 2

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It is good that you found out now vs later. I found out my child’s father cheated on me my whole pregnant, and the whole 1.5 years after until we broke up for good. I found out he slept with my best friend in the backseat of my car while I was passed out (they forced me to take too much Tylenol while I had a fever at 6 months pregnant). I was naive and 18 at the time as well. Do NOT put that man on the birth certificate. That causes so many new problems that you couldn’t even dream of like custody issues, threats, lawyers, money, etc. My daughter now has an amazing step dad that basically calls her his own child since he’s helped me raise her since she was 2. It will get better. Hugs!!

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It sounds like you and your son deserve better anyways. Focus on you and that baby and y’all’s future. The right man will walk into your life when your least expecting it! There is someone out there that’s going to treat you like the queen you are and be there for your son like he needs. Until then you worry about bringing that beautiful baby into this world with or without his father present. I know it hurts more than some of us will ever understand, but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Sounds like it’s his loss to me🤷🏼‍♀️ we’re rooting for you mama💜

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Carry on with your baby… don’t let him see this baby!! He has shown that he has no regards to his own blood…

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I am so sorry. She actually saved you from a lifetime of pain. He’s not worth the trouble that he would have inflicted on you and your baby.

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Something happened to me, sweetie. Its been almost 6 years since my son’s sermon donor walked away. Right now it sees like the world is ended, but that’s the pregnancy hormones taking. One day, while holding your son, you’ll be grateful he removed his presence from your life.

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Let him go. However, get an attorney and make him pay child support. Also, get the attorney to make him have to pay the attorney fees.:heart:

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That situation will implode. Just sit back and watch! He has shown his true colors so don’t take him back. Hopefully he will step up to be a great dad.

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I would contact a lawyer and find out what your legal options are since each country/state/county is different. In some places you’ll have to put the father on the birth certificate and establish paternity before going after him for child support and/or custody.
Best of luck and congrats on your little one!

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The honeymoon phase always ends. If he abandoned you that quickly he will do it to her or she could even do that to him. You don’t need or deserve that. Cut your losses and be glad to be done with him. You can find better for you and your child.

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He made his choice don’t let him be apart of the birth then he won’t be on the birthday certificate. File for child support asap and forget he ever existed you and your son will be better off with no drama in your lives

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You need a good man. Not a cheating one

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Move on, and never look back. Once a cheat always a cheat.

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Their relationship won’t work out and karma will deal with them nicely. I’m sorry you’re going through this babe. Some men ain’t shit. You are better off. You’ll see that soon enough. Pain is just a reminder you’re alive. Be grAteful for that and you’re blessing that’s coming. It will all be ok God willing.

Go to that woman’s old house, talk to her husband about it and get at him. No use crying over spilled milk, cut off all communication with him( IT DRIVES PEOPLE NUTS), either replace his ass with a new daddy or raise that baby on your own.

You didn’t fail your son. He did. Keep your head high and be the best mom you can be. :heart:

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I really do feel bad for you, but his affair has been going on alot longer than a week. He has no respect for you or this married woman. She will go back with her husband and he will want you back. Don’t take him. You’ll never forget this of what he has done to you. Just raise your boy the best you can. Make sure he signs the birth certificate …Or just file for child support. Single women can and do make good mother’s.

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Been there, been you in a similar situation at your age. I’m now very glad he made my decision easy and 14 years later I’m happier than ever. Don’t think you can’t have a happy family now. I have 3 children altogether now and with or without a man you are a family. It will be hard and may take years to work through repressed trust issues you will experience in later relationships, but the right one will understand as long as you do the work in healing yourself. Congratulations on your soon to be :heart::heart::heart:

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I know you’re hurt and you don’t feel this now, but you are better off…you have a boyfriend that was painting for money and succumb to this woman and then spent the night…he has moved in with an older woman with kids…that older woman most likely has means from her husband and coukd be taking care of him…its possible your boyfriend saw this in her while she spilled her problems…how did she know about you unless he was also wailing to her?? Misery always loves company…I speak from experience…a man who runs off and cheats will do it over and over I don’t care what they tell you…you start today taking care of you and your son…make a home for yall…I know you hurt but you have to be strong for a precious baby coming…be done with that boyfriend…find ways to be productive everyday toward your life…dont let that bring you down…the word is AMSCRAY…it means scram punk…you are so worth more than that…and there is someone for you that will love you and won’t cheat…good luck to you but set your qualifications for a man in high principles with a moral parallel :wink:…you can do it…I did it with 2 kids and worked 12 hr shifts in the medical field…it was hard but I made it without the punk…

Maybe it’s better to know now, and learn to grow with your baby. Good luck

be thankful you found out before you got in to deep stay strong n raise that boy the best you can you wouldnt want a baby daddy like that your your young the right guy will come along for now be there for your son and file for child support as soon as hes born

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I’m sad for you. The best thing to do is take care of yourself so you can take care of your son(congratulations). Best wishes

You did not fail! Better to find out now then for your son to have to feel the pain too! You can’t make someone stay if they don’t want to! It sucks but it will get better

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It sounds like you are better off without him and so is your baby. Don’t list him on the birth certificate because that would give him rights to him. It wouldn’t be right because I’ve seen this several times with men walking out before the babies are even born and did nothing for them babies growing up for the 1st 9yrs of that child’s life. Then he starts taking a mother to court to file for custody when he never did anything for that baby a day in this child’s life. So please consider that. You got this. You can do it.

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Chin up! You may feel like it is the end and see no way out BUT you are young and children are blessings. Take care of yourself and dont give up. You are just starting and someone will love you and that baby more than you can imagine

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Everything in life happens for a reason and a purpose have faith someone better is out there for you and your baby, this is just a chapter in your story not your whole story :heart:

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Just let him go and make sure he pay to help you go see a lawyer and get what you deserve

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It definitely didn’t just start happening. They’re super comfortable so it’s been going on for some time I’m sorry love

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Sounds like je cheated on her with you. Don’t worry. I was in your shoes before. Just stay strong for your baby. You don’t a man in both your lives. You already have a real one on the way. He’s the only one who needs you. Your 18. Still young. Some one eventually will come into your life. Now 5 years later. I have a partner. And we have a 10 mon. Together.
From now on since he ain’t want no contact. Don’t put him in the birth certificate. And just let him be. Lose contact with him. Eventually one day he’ll wanna meet him. That will be up to you.

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Yes you will find someone that will love you

Once the baby is born file for child support, he doesn’t get to choose whether to pay or not. Don’t give him power he doesn’t have. There are a million women out there who have found amazing husbands and step dad’s for their kids. Just breath. You’ll do great.

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Be thankful for unanswered prayers, blessing in disguise. You will be ok and your son will be happy to have a momma that’s healthy and happy. Seek support from those who love you and all will work out in time. It’ll be rough but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This storm to shall pass. Congratulations on your little bundle of joy!

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The best thing for you to do is drop all contact with both of them. Stop looking for the things he did with her. Focus solely on healing and your baby. I’ve been young mom and thought so many times my baby deserves her father and I wanted him to care about her but it just hurt her more than anything. Just move on from him as hard as it is. I always say if I could go back and never have him involved I would. Years of unnecessary disappointment and heart ache for my child.

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The positive side to all this is you didn’t waste years on this man child. You found out early and now you know. I know it hurts. I’ve been there myself and believe me he honestly did you a huge favor by putting himself. Your main concern now is making your life for that precious little bundle you are carrying. Life will go on and so will you. We Mommas are a strong group of women. Look at it as though he did you a favor…you will only have one child to raise instead of two !! Lol Good luck honey, you’ve got this. I’m sure of it. Your going to be a Great Mother !! :two_hearts::two_hearts::rose:

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I was married to same man for 27 years and he cheated on me all the time so he left me for someone that had more than me and had a kid by her and now they not together so please don’t go back to him

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It’s hard to see it when you are feeling lost and heartbroken… but this probable is a blessing in disguise. You are going to find strength in you that you didn’t even know you had… and you won’t take anything less within a partner. Focus on you and your son and you will be more than ok! Sending you lots of love and light.

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He’s not a dad, he’s a sperm donor. You can make it, you will learn to be strong. For goodness sakes, be more selective about men. And do file for child support.

SAVE YOURSELF A TON OF FUTURE HEARTACHE DO NOT AND I MEAN DO-N-O—T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE YIUR CHILD HIS LAST NAME!!!
Best
Piece
Of
Advice
If
He
Not
Helping
You
Now
He
Will
Not
Change

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First of all how dare she call you. That is so trashy. If she calls again please just hang up. You don’t need the details. You deserve to move on. This is not your fault. He made the choice and that tells you what kind of man he is and it has no reflection on you. You have not failed anyone. You have the chance to raise your son to be a better man than his father. It’s an opportunity. It’s going to be hard and it will be worth it. Go after child support to take care of you son. There are plenty of programs to help with that stuff too. Find some local mom groups. They may be able to guide to to support

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Drop him. Get child support. Stay/go to college.

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Someone wonderful will come into your life and love you and your son. He will be the dad, not the sperm donor.

l get paid over $145 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $17985 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://bigpayjob43.pages.dev/

You got this 100 percent :pray:t2::ok_hand:t2:mom of three who was a single mom it hard at first I won’t lie if you don’t find someone to help mentally support you some times that’s not saying a man!! Mom dad aunts sister friend someone who healthy and has their life in our best advice I could ever give you make friends with good people if you want a good life for that baby!!! Absolutely truth !! Second pray :pray:t2: I was in a scary place when I had my fourth mentally emotionally financially went from on sold ground to the complete opposite we all go threw it !! All of use !! And it’s going to get better I promise find stability for you and baby right now later on … if you can find the rest it always works better when you aren’t looking and your working on you :raised_hands:t2: finish doing life just because you have a baby doesn’t mean life is over !! People still Tavel around the country in RVs and see the world back pack some crazy places you name it find a good job that you love that works with
You and baby’s schedule you can do this

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye. shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh. findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened
Mathew 7:7-8

Believe me It’s not the end, Be glad you found out now, You don’t want someone like this in your life. Get help from family & friends and make something of your self .Take care of the baby and get a new life started.<3.Wishing you the best…

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Think about your baby and be mom and dad to him/her and God bless you

if they r that cozy with each other it isnt a just happened thing its been on going and what ever you do dont give the baby his last name and when baby is born go file for child support and custody and until custody is established do not let him get the baby for any reason because if u do n he decided not to give baby bk to u there will be nothing u can do bout it until custody is established keep your head up sweet heart you got this and if u choose to do so you can also have it fixed to where he cant come to hospital when u go in to deliver the baby

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You have your whole life ahead of you. Take this as a good sign, the trash took itself out!
There are so many ways this situation can go…

  1. When that relationship fails, will he come crawling back?
    1a. You take him back. Cycle repeats for years. Broken promises. Asking yourself why you and your son aren’t worth it. Self pity. Depression. Possibly more kids in the mix.
    1b. You know your worth, move on and live your best life. Although you feel you are struggling at times, you aren’t because of the tribe you’ve surrounded yourself with. Build the career you want. Show your son what a B@ single mom looks like and be proud of those accomplishments.
    Eventually in time with bumps in the road you will look back and realize which path your choices lead you down. Either way it will be your story, own it! :heart:
    Prayers and positive vibes your way :raised_hands:

Honestly, let him go! My ex ran around when I was pregnant. I did everything I could to make things work for us. After our son was born we moved across the country. It wasn’t long before he found someone new. I tried to get through this but after many affairs, distrust and many tears I finally gave up. Our son was two by then. He didn’t have much to do with his son from then on. My son hates that I gave him his father’s last name and wants to change it because he doesn’t associate with anyone on dad’s side of his family. His father is fighting to keep it. Keep your last name on his birth certificate or you’ll regret it later.
You can find a man who loves you and your son who will be faithful to you and love you with his body and soul. He will make a great father to your son. Your son is your baby. You will be there for him. I promise you that your son will be better off without a part time dad.

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Just move on. I know it’s hard I’ve been in ur situation. Don’t worry about what he’s doing, it’ll make u crazy. Let Go and do what u can for your baby. Things work out way better in the end I Promise. Trust God and focus on you.

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Child Support = money, but = him father’s rights.
.
Get the child to have YOUR last name. = no rights to his child, = easier life for you, without conveniencing him for visits (where his “new love” is gonna be involved too)

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Too many times this happens over these last 3 decades, especially, it seems. Your certainly not alone.
There are many options available to single moms. Get in touch with your human resource dept to find out about child care, housing, food/utility help. Clothing like from salvation army or good will. This is, if you decide that adoption is not for you. Otherwise, you might want to consider adoption. Look into open adoption that allows you certain ways to see your child, like for example, the adopted parents will send pictures or CD’s of the child from time to time, ect. Above all else from these suggestions, realize your not alone, but among a crowd of broken relationships and single parenthood.

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No, no way. She should put the blame where it should be! Your ex and her now bf. He’s the one that cheated and left! You have not failed as a mom!

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You be a beautiful good woman and you will naturally attract a partner that will love you and adore your baby too. You will have the family you want.

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