I am scared my son may have autism: Advice?

I’m not sure how best to say this, but I’m scared my six-year-old could be autistic, and it scares me to death. This I could handle mentally, and I wouldn’t love him any less. I mostly worried about what this could do mentally. I’m not judgmental to special needs children, but why did it only appear now? Why not earlier? Doctors mentioned it could also be a tic but have given me no hopefully words, just playing around with my emotions. I’m not a cry, but I can stop crying as to why this is happening now? Anyone who went through anything similar can give me some comforting words.

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I’m a mental health nurse who has worked with children for over three years and can tell you autistic children can go on to lead very successful, brilliant lives. :heart: we always focus on ensuring they know that although they see the world differently, we are all different and it won’t stop them achieving their dreams. X

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am scared my son may have autism: Advice?

My son is high functioning. He’s 15 and has had therapy for years. You can’t even tell now. He’s been working for 4 months now and they don’t suspect anything. Therapy is vital.

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Best piece of advice is, start evaluations. You need to know so you have the tools and proper learning techniques to aid your kiddo. Don’t overthink. Sure, maybe he is autistic, but hes still your kiddo. Nothing changes nor does your love for him. Take it day by day. The spectrum is HUGE. people tend to not be aware of how big the spectrum actually is and become frantic.

It will be okay. Take a breath and reach out to local resources. :slight_smile:

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I’m going though this now. It’s emotional. Just fight for his supports. I suspected my son had it earlier on but he was meeting milestones. He also has ADHD, Epilepsy, Sensory processing disorder. We are going to be evaluated for autism in October (first available in my area). My son finally got an IEP after repeating kindergarten and his reading scores actually got worse. Hang in there and request all the services you can to help him!!

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I suspected my son was autistic before he was 2 but it can take years before anyone can really know. There’s good days and bad days and days that absolutely break your heart but you can get through anything. :heart: if you want to reach out to me feel free I’m pretty good at listening

Autism is nothing to cry over. Autistic persons process emotions, interact, and retain information in a non-neurotypical way. If your son is autistic there is nothing to be scared of or worried about. Just find the ways he need to learn and healthy way to express himself and communicate.

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We didn’t find out til my 14 year old was in 3rd grade,he is high functioning,but nothing to be scared about :blue_heart::blue_heart:

My daughter is high functioning and is 14. The doc ignored this for yrs just said it was bc she was premature. I also worked special education for 7 yrs. if there is anything I can help with let me know

Autism Inclusivity

Embracing Autism Community

Autistic Allies

Changing The Narrative About Autism & PDA

One of the smartest people in the world right now is autistic. He’s getting his first PHD soon. He’s ten.

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It would truly depend on the ASD diagnosis certain variations of autism spectrum disorder are apparent at birth and the early years other types won’t until a trigger is set off. Aspergers for example something my brother has I possibly have and we are looking into diagnosis for my son you can’t see the signs because they are small and almost unnoticeable till school when they have social interactions. Here is a screening tool that you can use to assess the risk of autism spectrum disorder for your child which will help you and the doctor begin this journey. https://autismcanada.org/autism-explained/screening-tools/child/

Why do so many people look at a diagnosis like “autism” like the end of the world ? Your child is still your child . you’ve been raising them just how they are and been okay so why should a diagnosis change anything ? We should be grateful . things could be so much worse ! Theres kids who have cancer and have to eat through a feeding tube or live life in a wheel chair . your situation could be MUCH WORSE . always think about that and let it teach you to be greatful . my son is autistic and tho days may be hard sometimes , i would not change a thing . take it one day at a time .

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Hang in there mama. My son just turned six and we are still in the middle of figuring his developments all out. So far he’s been diagnosed with a global development delay, areas being speech delay and sensory processing. With proper supports in place like speech therapy occupational therapy and EA in school, he is doing great. Getting better slowly. The more words he gets and learning to express, he never has meltdowns anymore. In the back of my mind I worry its autism or least on the spectrum, but so far, that isn’t the case we’ve been told. Long as you are doing your part and getting him the resources to help him, itll make things easier instead of just letting things fall to the wayside.

Get him tested. The sooner you know the better off things can be with therapy and things like that. It’s better to know than not.

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My daughter pediatrician tried to say my daughter had ADHD her kindergarten teacher said there was no way she was because she would have noticed it back in September this was may of her kindergarten year doctor wanted her tested and I refused took her to see another doctor to find out she had a yeast infection.

No signs before 6???

One day at a time mama, my son got diagnosed early on, and it took a lot of navigating and making mistakes. Stay away from anything ABA, they use incredibly abusive tactics to "normalize " your child

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My oldest has aspergers and was not diagnosed untill he was about 9 and hes 11 now. And hes boarder line autistic. Has anxiety and depression. He is a handfull for sure! But we just take it day by day. He is one of the smartest kids I know and his humor is top notch! Somedays are amazing and somedays are so hard I wanna tear my hair out and scream but all I can do is hold onto him and sing to calm him down. My son has 3 therapists and that helps alot for sure. Find support from friends family and your community, you’ll be surprised who is willing to offer there support wisdom and kindness.

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The truth is if he’s autistic he’s always been autistic. It doesn’t just “appear”
As far as the “late” diagnosis (which it’s really not my oldest wasn’t diagnosed until 7). Most of these screenings and evaluations are based off of “age appropriate” so for example while it’s age appropriate for an 18 month old to be obsess a little with light switches it’s not age appropriate for a 4 year old to obsessively play with light switches.
Now I believe certain things can most definitely exacerbate the symptoms and cause them to stand out more. My kiddo cannot have red dye or Carmel color. They massively exacerbate his adhd and autism symptoms.

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And what if he does have autism?? You acting like it’s a death sentence! Please do your own research. My 6 year old son IS autistic and we knew from a age 2. Your post shows you have a lot to learn. I’m just going to pray your son doesn’t have autism because some parents just can’t handle it as it seems here.

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My son whos 13 is autistic also my 11 year old daughter is autistic also adhd. Its not the end of world.

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I have 2 sons on the spectrum, and I knew before the doctors would even acknowledge it. The best thing you can do is start evaluations. I don’t know if you have a children’s where you are, but they are amazing. Autism isn’t a death sentence or this horrible monster that it’s often painted to be. My boys are wonderful little men with quirks. I often wonder if I am not somewhere on the spectrum as well.
You will be fine and most importantly your child will thrive with the proper supports in place.

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Hang in there mama. My daughter wasn’t diagnosed till she was almost in K even though we took her to several doctors etc. It can be hard to diagnose. I would first discuss everything with your pediatrician. Then I would talk to your child’s school and doctor about testing.

My son was diagnosed in 2nd grade. He is High functioning and that is often caught after they start school. I was scared too. I worried about him and what it meant for his future. He is almost 14 now. He is a happy kid. He just doesn’t do well in crowds or large groups and He likes his alone time to when he gets over stimulated. There is nothing to be scared of. Just stay strong and love him through it all :heart:

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May i ask? What were the signs that led to this?

I’m sure this lady realizes that life could be much worse but her worry shouldn’t be disregarded just because other people have bigger/different problems. Her worry is still her worry and she’s allowed to feel a certain way about it.

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I think once a diagnosis is presented to you you’ll find this easier…it’d not the end of the world at all now we have so much more resources and help it’d easier to get throu thus.

I wasn’t diagnosed til I was an adult. I am high functioning. Just cause a child is autistic or has aspergers doesn’t mean they can’t live a full happy healthy life.

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I always knew that something was different about my oldest but he was finally diagnosed with Asperger’s just over a year ago now(he’s 10). Sometimes kids are so high functioning that it’s mistaken for something else,diagnosis isn’t always as easy as looking at a child and knowing instantly what it is going on in their little heads and the fact that they dont kno how to communicate properly as it is makes it even more difficult to get an accurate diagnosis. No matter what your child is still the same kid with or without the diagnosis,all the diagnosis does is give you a network of tools and tricks to help in his day to day life(as well as your own),it will also give you a community of other parents that are able to relate to you and your situation. I have Asperger’s myself,I’m back in school and have an 78% average in my classes,I have 3 amazing sons and a lot of people that are very helpful and supportive around me and my boys. I am proof that you can have a perfectly normal life,so I wish you all the best in this journey and just remember embrace it and learn as much as you can and things will be ok

My daughter is on the spectrum. 5 years old and nonverbal. Believe me when I say this … they make you look at the world a complete different way. I was an emotionally wreck when I suspected it and then got the diagnosis but at the age of 2 but then realized that it could be worse and truthfully, god picks certain people to take care of a special needs child. The spectrum is NOT a bad thing. It does not belittle them as an individual and does not change who they are on the inside. You will be fine. There are life adjustments that come with it but its not the end of the world. There are great support systems out there for parents. If he happens to be on the spectrum, I’d suggest looking into it.

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As a mom of daughter who moderate autistic, suffers seizure among other things I expected autism as diagnosis but hearing intectual disabilities (low iq) that she’ll never catch up to peers and will plateau left me crying a whole night. My dreams of her being independent and on her own gone. I honestly don’t worry about what could been had she been normal. We have good and bad days but the fight for services are exhausting. I feel stronger for living it. My daughter seem just autistic to 6. Didn’t have first seizure until 7 and has gained so much weight since then now that she’s 10. We even had early period at only 9. You learn to go with the punches. I also don’t try to put limits on her.example a got her sticker by number book. When we did it together she didn’t complete it. I left her alone and she was able to complete a whole picture without help. I kept giving her 48 piece puzzles and recently bought/gave her 60 pieces and she surpassed what I thought she was only capable of.

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My little sister is 12 and she’s autistic … she can’t speak sentences well :disappointed: or say many words . Or get dressed by herself … But we still have so much fun and we live life as best as we can together , she’s my rainbow i call her :heart:my mom says it’s a handful at times but she wouldn’t trade this for the world :earth_americas:

My son has autism. Its amazing. He communicates but not like a normal 8yr old. Theres nothing to be sad over. Your child is just really smart and probably struggles with regulating emotions. Get your child tested and go from there. Its never easy i think my daughter who doesnt have a disability is more complicated than my son. My daughter is 5 almost 6. Youll be fine. Just look at your baby and smile. Cuz their beautiful.

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If you need a full diagnosis see Phd child psychologist or children psychiatrist.
Third option put in writing you want your son to have a full psychology logical. Must be in writing
If he can handle classroom it’s great but there is also teacher consultant, aides assigned to him and 504. Don’t panic. You’ll find your way.

Don’t be scared. Embrace it a d educate yourself. Early intervention is the key and don’t put a label on him. My son was diagnosed 20 years ago at the age of 5 and he is an absolutely amazing, caring and smart young man. Good vibes sent to you. You got this.

And anyone who’s bashing her for her reaction to this should be ashamed of themselves,it’s perfectly normal to be upset and worried about how this can affect her child’s future,what you should be doing is reassuring her that it will be ok! Everyone reacts to things differently and especially if you’ve never really had experience with anyone who actually has autism it can be very scary

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Some people don’t get diagnosed til they are older teens or adults. There’s a lot that goes into it and different variants to the diagnosis. It’s not a one-size for everyone with ASD.

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Psychological through his school district. Put in writing. If verbal or hey will play games.

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We didnt notice our daughter was till age 6 either.

Why be scared of it? It doesn’t change who your kid is, it just helps you understand them better. Don’t think of it at its worst. Kids with ASD are as varied as kids without and usually very intelligent so don’t worry about the label. Sensory Processing Disorder is one of the main problems that causes the classic issues like not coping in crowds or with loud noises. Some kids don’t get diagnosed until later because it isn’t an issue until then and they are good at coping with it.

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YES! My mom has been a nurse for years. My son was basically nonverbal (had his own language) and had other things going on. (OCD and things) she brought it up to me.
In my head I wasn’t about to listen. Didn’t want to hear it, think about it or anything. I didn’t care if he was because I love him! THEN I realized the only person who was losing was HIM. I WAS HOLDING HIM BACK. So I scheduled for a trained person (can’t remember what they are called now :woman_facepalming:t3:) at a very specific facility to test him. They also would not test him until he was in pre k. While waiting he entered pre k. The teacher approached me and said listen I think your son is autistic. I said yes I know! I wanted to see if anyone else came to that conclusion without interference. (I did tell her his issues. ) she was relieved that I already kind of knew and had taken the steps. She said you wouldn’t believe the amount of parents who flip their lid wether it be crying or screaming/denial. My son was diagnosed with high functioning autism. Possible OCD/possible add. (To young to actually know then)
Having this diagnosis allowed us to prepare for school and tackle any challenges he may face as a team. Things have went from 0 to 100 in the almost 9 years. He know talks, his ocd is under control and among other things.
I promise you momma the shock will wear off.
Every parent wants to look at their child as perfect but no one is! Also, in the end denial only hurts your child.

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Its always been there lmao. For real some people.

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First, deep breaths momma. Autism has always been there, if it is. It’s who he is. My son wasn’t diagnosed until 10. So it’s never too late. The less “intense” (I don’t like terms of severity because it is really way more complicated than that) the autism the longer it takes to diagnose sometimes. I have had my suspicions about my son for some time. The doctors pushed an adhd diagnosis on him because he’s “too smart to be autistic” :flushed::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes: but that was crap. Lots of great resources. Definitely do the evaluation- therapies are helping my son sooo much.

You need to get YOU together. Stop your carrying on about this. You are acting like he got a cancer diagnosis! Instead of spending your time spazing over this, spend the time doing research about autism and aspergers…a form of autism. Have him properly tested. It could be ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, allergies to his environment or his diet or just plain spoiled…don’t think for one second he is not noticing how you are reacting…I mean " you can handle it but you can’t", “you don’t cry but that is all you are doing”. Do you really think any of that is helping him if he does have a problem??

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My son is 3 and got diagnosed with autism , if you have any questions you can message me anytime .

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I knew my son had autism around 2 got him diagnosed and have been doing a lot of therapy ever since. He is now 5 and doing amazing. I know it’s scary but what’s even scarier is doing nothing about it. A label doesn’t define him but you want him to be diagnosed so it can open the door to different therapies. I promise you will be fine cry about it… then run with it. Hugs :heart:

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No matter what, YOU will be ok. You will adapt, just like becoming a parent, you grow into it. Read up on the subject, get in some groups with other parents going through similar things.

My son is 22. You could pm me. You may end up finding it a blessing.

My grandson is 17 and has Aspergers. He does just fine. He was diagnosed at 2 years old. Other than still being a bit emotionally immature for a 17year old he is no different than any other kid. Autism isn’t the end of the world. Easy test: offer your child a handful of jelly beans. Autistic kids will not take the black ones. No really. My grandsons initial diagnosis was extreme mental retardation. My friend who dealt with autistic kids said don’t take their word for it, offer him jelly beans. He took all but the black ones. She said take him back and tell them to test him for autism. And that’s what he had. There are many services for kids with autism. They do just fine.

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Could be reaction to inoculations and vaccines.

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My little girl is Autistic. She is the most sweetest loving kind little girl. In the beginning it was hard to accept and it was a long road in the beginning. She is my inspiration and I love that little girl more than life. She lives her life with no care in the world.

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As a daycare teacher I just wanna say the spectrum is so huge that he can be autistic and also brilliant. It’s totally not the worse thing in the world. Autistic children may require more love, time & attention but the reward is so great. Good luck mama💘

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Please get him a specialist who does autism. I’ve seen alot of doctors say autism when down the road it’s not. Get a specialist and good luck

You’ll learn more about the spectrum and where he’s at.

My son at 6 yrs old was diagnose with 7 different disability … the one that they check him was autism because he has all of the similar autism action he would get a notebook a book and count paper by paper he would count tules on the floor hus thing was numbers he would bounce his legs up n down he would rock back n forth he has a blanket if u wash it he would stay at the washer n dryer n scream to get it out no matter how dirty it was … all the srupdy mri n visit at the children hospital one of his results was sever adhd n ocd he would walk around in circles all day non stop .the drs told me they thought he was autistic cuz he had every sighn and they also said that autitic are very intelegent also my son has a high iq in math is above level … just wait until what his dr says before stressing out

Don’t be scared they are no different from the next person just their brain is wired differently

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I’ve been fighting for my daughter since 6 months. She went into early intervention at 3. Didn’t walk till she was 24 months and only cause she was in PT. Keep fighting for answers. My daughter is 13 now and I’m STILL fighting for answers

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You aren’t judgmental but are scared? Not sure how those two go together. I have two neurodivergent kids, one autistic. The fears always have to do with our internalized ableism we inherit from society. Autism is a neurotype. We just have to learn it the way we learn a new language. And once we can communicate in their way it’s beautiful.

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It’s okay if he is, I cried and was in major denial about my son being autistic at first, but once I accepted it, learnt more about it and learnt how to raise him with it, it has become an amazing journey.
Autistic kiddos are amazing

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What wrong with being autistic

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So it might not be autism. Tics are also associated with ADD and ADHD. It’s also associated with PANDAS and other disorders. Typically Autism emerges in 2-4 year olds. It very well could be Autism but I feel based on little information you gave that it’s something different.

It’s okay to be scared at first, i was scared at first not of the diagnosis but how to handle my child being different when i suffer from bi polar myself. We have good days & bad days my daughter wasn’t diagnosed til she was 4, she’s high functioning. There will be tears there will be frustrations and it’s almost important for you to have time to yourself too. You will need it i find my child who is odd, adhd is much more mentally and physically exhausting then my asd child.

I would have his IQ tested. Sometimes people with high IQs show autistic traits.

My son is 13 and on the spectrum. He is an amazing kid. I wouldn’t change him for anything.

I have two children on the spectrum, everything will be okay. Autism or not, all children are wonderful. Hang in there mama, it’s better to know then in time they wonder why they’re different. It will all work out. :two_hearts:

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I’m currently going through the process with my 2 year old, thankfully our family doctor personally knows us and helped me get the info to get into a developmental behavior clinic, but it’s SO hard to even get a pre-appointment for a simple screening :disappointed: our doctor had to refer with a special recommendation, then they mailed me a HUGE packet to fill out (it literally took HOURS and I had to go back to his baby book for information like his head circumference at birth :flushed:) I just finished it last night. Mailed it off and it will be 3-12 months on the waiting list before I get a call to make a pre appointment screening. It makes you feel so helpless as a parent

My son is 16 and was not diagnosed until he was in kindergarten. It’s will be ok mama i promise. He does just fine he is in regular class’s and does stuff every other kiddo does.

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My siblings are all on the spectrum and grew to live normal lives! It’s normal to be upset, no one wants to see their child struggle in life. Get him officially diagnosed so you guys can start working on his mental health now. The sooner they’re in things like speech and occupational therapy, the sooner you can start helping them get on track.

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My son is autistic, showed signs in infancy but was diagnosed at 3 years. Early intervention was the best thing I could’ve done for him. He is more higher spectrum, super intelligent kid, he struggles mostly though with social and emotional regulation. Just doesn’t quite know how to be socially appropriate or read social cues, it scares me to death that he will be that kid that people take advantage of but I got him into therapy for speech and occupational therapy, and recently he graduated both of those and is just in counseling now to help with the social/emotional side of it. He is 7 now, going into second grade. Early intervention is the best thing you could do, and lots and lots of patience and support. Not everyone will understand, but talk with your doctor first. I’ve also heard a lot of autistic behaviors are also just anxiety.

My son is on the spectrum and is ADHD. Honestly its so much better knowing so that you can gear your parenting and lifestyle to fit him better. It helps so much with understanding why they are the way they are and that way you can learn how to be better for them. This is just my experience.

My eldest is autistic and he’s the most amazing intelligent boy I’ve ever come across. You will get the help you need if they think it’s an issue to be dealt with but it takes a long time. Mine is 9 and we still haven’t got a name for his autism and it’s been going on since he was 2

My 3 boys were diagnosed at 6,7, & 9yrs old. My youngest was having problems at vpk and I got help for him at play big therapy and then added his brothers I had doubts about my oldest sence he was little be doctors always said he had empathy and wasn’t. My 16 yr younger brother is ASD as well. But i never guessed my middle son was too. It is hard cause as a mother you always worry but therapy helps and research too. I have list of books that my kids therapist recommended if you want message me.

Is it just a tic? My daughter has that and it is actually a form of her anxiety and ocd. Deficiencies can cause that as well. If that is the only symptom, why is autism thought??

My son has a tic disorder the doctors said it “usually” shows up around 6 years old.

So your comment was extremely vague, with nothing other than a tic stipulated. So what makes you think it’s autism?

Sometimes it doesn’t present until later. My son is adhd and autistic and the adhd actually masked the autism so much that it wasn’t until he was on meds that the autism was discovered. My son’s is very mild though and is verbal and for the most part a “normal” kid. There’s different severities and different difficulties for each autistic individual. If you meet one person with autism, you’ve met just one person with autism, that’s how much it can vary from person to person. It’s a learning process and you will have to advocate for him, it’s hard, but you get through it. Just take it a day at a time. Keep your head up momma, and if the OP wants, feel free to message me. :blush::blush:

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Autism does not develop. It is something an individual is born with. I think some signs are less subtle at a younger age but as they grow we find out their needs more. If anything, a diagnosis will open doors to funding and help that your child might need.

My son was diagnosed with Autism at 18 months I felt so overwhelmed with so many different emotions, we struggled but you keep working hard it will get better. There are so many resources available to you and so many support groups. You’re not alone, it’s going to be ok.

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Why? Atleast they are alive! And besides autism means intelligent ( that’s how I see the disease) I have friends who are and it doesn’t really affect them… yes some have a delay in certain things but the ones with this disorder are smarter that your normal persons IQ.

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My son is almost 7 and was diagnosed with semi non verbal autism and he is so sweet and hands on smart. It’ll be fine they just need the extra time and attention then most kids :relaxed: you got this

Your child is still your child. Poor kid… nobody should have a parent that fears them.

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My son is on the spectrum and has ADHD. It can be overwhelming at first, but it’s so much better to know. You’ll be able to get him the therapies he needs. It’s going to be ok.

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hi im professionally dx autistic and theres nothing to be scared about. autism is a developmental nervous system disorder which means we are more sensitive to sensory input (sight, touch, taste, smell, auditory). we are a spectrum, have a much different thought and comprehension process. we require accommodations for sensory overloads/underwhelms, thorough steps and detailed steps, written instructions, and many more just so we can excel like a neurotypical, or allistic (non autistic) can.

im a message away if you ever need.

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I’m high functioning autistic as well as combined type adhd. My child had hyperactive adhd and some autistic stims. The best thing you could do for your son is get him properly diagnosed by a medical professional and be as supportive as possible. Also it helps to learn about it as much as you can about it. Being autistic isnt doom and gloom. It’s an alternate way of thinking and functioning. It will benifit him and you to be aware of it.

Also autism has earlier signs. You dont develop it and you are born with it. It’s also genetic.

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This post is part of the “I’m an autism mom that uses my child’s autism to get pity and attention” starter kit.

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I’m autistic and it makes my life so amazing in a lot of ways.

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Don’t be scared. It’s an adventure and a challenge. But it’s amazing!

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At least he’s alive. If he’s autistic, so what? It doesn’t change who he is and that he is still your son. He’s still the same little boy you love. Having a special needs sister, shit like this pisses me off. Just make sure his teachers, his doctors, and you are all communicating and doing what’s best for him. It’s that simple.

Why so scared? My son is a gift and teaches me to see the world differently through his views. He’s actually really smart and he amazes me with all his accomplishments once he was diagnosed and had the help for him to give us a better understanding of him.

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My daughter is autistic and I swear she was sent here to teach me. She’s very emotional… and I am the complete opposite, so in return… she teaches me compassion and patience. Two things I’ve lacked most of my life. It’s a beautiful world, mom… and you were chosen for a reason :heart:

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Autism doesn’t just happen, it is something we are born with. You might have missed signs of it earlier on. I am a mother to an autistic child, and I understand that it can be very scary. It is a huge adjustment, but if you want to be sure, I encourage you to talk to local schools and see if they can test him. You won’t regret it.

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People are born with Autism they don’t suddenly just get it. Maybe you just missed the signs and his way if doing things now is your normal. Children and people in general with Autism are amazing

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I know the news is always hard to process, but they can normally diagnose by age 4. Find support services including sensory needs, or find out if you qualify for disability benefits also how you can make your home autism friendly. The more you know now the easier you will understand ur child and work with him

It’s not a death sentence, will just involve changing things to fit his needs better, and understanding that there is nothing wrong with him, he just sees things differently then the average person, and may struggle a bit with emotions, when things don’t go his way, or when other kids/adults don’t think the same way as him, depending on the severity of it, he can go on to live a normal life, with your support he will go far, don’t let him see you asking yourself why now, he needs you to be positive and supportive.

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Please look into some autistic groups ran by autistic adults. A good one is Actually Autistic. Hearing from autistic adults will be one of the best things you can do for your child

Like others have said, he would have shown the signs of it in the really early stages of life when they first start hitting cognitive milestones.

The best thing you can do for your kid and yourself is to do some real research and educate yourself. Your allowed to be emotional but as a mom you gotta pull yourself together and get prepared for the situation. Knowledge is power