My bonus child’s mother is very stingy with adding time to our set schedule of how often she stays with us yet she is always expecting us to keep her when it’s convenient I hate to tell her no and miss out on time with my bonus child but at the same time I’m starting to feel like an on call babysitter Suggestions?
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I completely understand. And just be the bigger person and enjoy the time. If it is more consistent on certain days or times just plan on kiddo being there.
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I thought a lot of parenting plans had the ‘right to first refusal’ when a parent needs to go out during their custody time.
I would just keep notes in the court binder of all the times asked for her and all the times denied then all the times she wants to you watch her. Then enjoy your extra time with kiddo 
I’m not a step parent but my husband is “step” dad to 2 of my 4 kids. He’s biological to the other 2.
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Maybe talk about changing the parenting plan so that the more frequent time with you and dad is the norm? I mean if you have her more frequently, why not just set it in stone then you know… or since you feel like having a child (that should rightfully be your responsibility since you got with her father) is babysitting, leave. 
Gosh so sad neither of the adults in her life want her
Just be glad the kids at a place where she is wanted and loved she’s your kid too shouldn’t matter
I’m a step parent to 3 children and I’m unsure to why most of you here believe this situation is ok. There should be a schedule with day/times. If things come up a few times a year then yes the mother can ask if the father can take the child but it should never be just whenever to mom wants.
Also, she doesn’t have rights to the child and she’s clearly making an effort to be part of the child’s life. Why bash her and tell her to leave. It’s almost like you all think it’s the father fault for the broken home. Shame on you.
“It’s not up to you it’s up to the father?” What is this? Yes the father should be making the final decision but it’s a partnership.
I have to deal with two “others” as we call them. Coparenting is non existent here. The moms don’t communicate or pay their share. It’s hard on the children.
Bonus mom, you seem to be doing a great job! Do whatever works for your family! If mom and dad can’t make it work maybe a custody agreement is needed. You don’t deserve the daily unknown or to be made to feel like you’re a built in babysitter. Good luck.
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If you can do it then do it bc the kid benefits from that extra time with their family. And if it’s happening a lot a lot then their parent needs to start documenting.
Also you can’t babysit your child it’s called parenting…. Idc if you are the bonus parent.
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I believe having a child is called parenting, not babysitting and when they need a parent you should welcome them. It’s obvious that this is about resenting the mother and undoubtedly she will use your unwillingness against your husband if you go that route. Pick your battles…
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I think you probably should just be grateful for the additional time… it’s not babysitting… it’s literally also one of your children.
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It’s not babysitting it’s called coparenting 
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I hate questions like this because you always get the answer that its your child too. The stepmother doesn’t have to coparent. The stepmother doesn’t have to parent at all. If she doesn’t want to, she shouldn’t have to. She has no legal responsibility to that child, the father does. Is it nice if she wants to? Sure. But its not a requirement
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It’s not really up to you. If the father is ok with the arrangement I’m not sure why you get a say in when he has his kid.
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How does the father feel? You have absolutely no say in visit frequency. You don’t have to babysit, nacho kid nacho problem. Say no and make yourself unavailable
& if you don’t have any step kids please kindly stfup
Whatever you decide just…please don’t make the child feel like she is a burden. If you love her, make fun little things happen. Like, a picnic, do nails, movies, lots of fun things to do to make her feel loved. And make your bond closer.
The father should handle this.
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If she is calling you and dad every weekend that mother is suppose to have her, then yes- she is just using y’all as the “babysitter” because she knows y’all won’t say no. If she’s calling y’all to pick up the child so mother can work extra hours/go to school/go to the doctor- then enjoy the extra time.
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Tell dad to modify the custody schedule so he has more time.
Been there done that. My step kids mom. Did the same to us. Whenever we asked for extra time, big No. When we asked for a favor to switch weekends if we have something going on and we wanted the kids to Joined us. Always No. But if she have something going on and it was our weekend. She asked and we say yes. Only when it’s convenient for her 
. Don’t do it. Tell her no.
Wait I’m confused, If Mom is (Stingy) with allowing Extra Time on scheduled visits, How is she treating you like a babysitter by offering Extra Time when she needs Dad to take his child for (whatever) the reason? I swear Moms just can’t win.
It’s both parents job to make sure the child is being taken care of. If mom is unable to take care of her then it’s your husband’s responsibility. If neither can take care of the kid then they need to find a babysitter. It sounds like your husband is using you as a babysitter. Not the mom. Take it up with him. Tell him if he doesn’t want to care for the child he needs to tell his ex that & work out babysitting fees. Don’t let him use you as a babysitter.