I Am Starting to Resent My Daughter…What Do I Do?

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"I know its sad to say but I’m afraid I’m starting to resent my daughter. I know that sounds really awful and mean of me as my mom but me and my husband are at our wits end with her. She is 9 years old, she lies, steals, talks back, is mean, refuses to do school work so she is failing classes, she hits us. She goes to school telling them stories that we are mean and abuse her. I have tried everything to make these behaviors stop… I’ve tried time outs, taking things from her to where she literally only has clothes and her bed in her room, I’ve tried positive reinforcement such as earning things back, earning things she enjoys doing like going out to eat, or earn a new toy. Nothing works! My family don’t think that she gives us that much issues because she acts like an angel around them and they tell me that me and my husband are being dramatic. That IS NOT THE CASE! I’ve took her to therapy, psychologist, her doctor and they say they can’t find anything wrong or any such thing because she hides it so well! It has gotten to the point that I hate when 4 comes around or the weekends because I know she will be home. It’s literally a fight from the time she gets off the bus til when I fight with her to go to bed to do anything such as homework, bathe, literally anything. It’s making me feel like a bad mom, I feel worthless, hopeless, and have severe anxiety and depression… I’m venting but I know I need help and I don’t know what to do…"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Maybe record some of the issues to show to the pediatrician/therapist?"

"I would take her to a neurologist maybe there is a chemical imbalance of some sort. Sorry mommy I hope you can get to the bottom of the cause"

"Try again. She needs behavioral therapy"

"There could be a biological issue behind her behaviors."

"Try a new psychiatrist. She sounds like she had DMDD or ODD both of which my 11 year old daughter have. We have her on 3 meds and it gives us some relief along with counseling"

"Behavioural therapy! There is an underlying issue for sure. Behaviour is communication"

"Video tape her behavior and show it to her doctor"

"She needs help, professional help."

"Go to a different Dr. It took us 4 psychologist’s to listen to us."

"I’m telling you. The number ONE thing that helps my kid is the therapy I do for myself. I know so much about what I cause him to feel/ what things my behavior can cause in reaction, etc etc"

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