I’m started to get resentful towards my husband and Idk what to do. I don’t even know how to put it into words, but I just cry all the time, and I’m always so angry now. Has anyone else gone through this?
Try to put your feeling down on paper and then talk to him… as honestly as you can about your feelings.
Is there anymore to this?? Like u just had a baby? Or a change in jobs or living situation? Have u been married long?
This is very vague, so it is hard to give advice. Is there a reason behind the resentment? Is he doing something in particular? Are you going through something?
Hit up mylovethinks. Its helped me so much.
Depends on what’s causing it
Yes it’s normal sometimes our expectations are too high for example I used to compare my husband with my father in certain aspects but it’s wrong at the end of the day as our husbands try their best everyday sometimes we get too impatient in the way they do and think about things but wat I’ve learnt is that no one is perfect and that we should have patience with each other different strokes for different folks this is my experience
Don’t weigh everyone down with too much information here
I think you suffer from depression
I think you’d need to figure out why you’re resenting him to figure out how to fix the problem.
Write it down. Sort out ur thoughts. Spend a weekend away from him. Do stuff for just YOU.
Why are u starting to resent him? What changes happened? How is he treating you? How are YOU treating HIM?
Have u two spoken about the feelings your having?
Open the line of communication - there HAS to be an underlying reason for the resentment? Financial burdens, not equal load sharing? fears of rejection - TALK - communicate!!
Yes!! I recommend couples counseling and trying to find things that you two enjoy together.
After having my daughter, I couldn’t even look at my husband. I damn near hated hated him. I was angry, sad, emotional… you name it. I was suffering from postpartum depression. Once I got help, those feeling went away. I will
Never understand the pressures my husband has to face and he will never fully understand what it’s like to be a mom. But you have to have empathy.
Depression gets in the way of that. I would speak to your doctor, seek a professional therapist, and take care of YOUR mental health. Once you are okay, your marriage and your life will be too. Your husband needs to take care of his mental health as well. I wish you the best.
Writing could help. Maybe a pros/cons list will help you see whats really bothering you. Dont be scared to be petty w it for yourself. Ive been in a situation where the little stuff got to be so many little things got me being constantly angry and made the little huge to me. If the pros and cons thing dont work, there are relationship journals that have topics to provoke your thoughts. I put the pro con list as a text to myself so when something would catch my attention good or bad i would be able to add it in the moment. After a couple days or week i took a look at the collections of notes and had a talk. Things got better. Goodluck!
U know what helps me? I started going to therapy and keeping a journal.
Yeah. It happens.
- Make sure you’re still having sex.
- Tell him you’re feeling resentful and why. Mine is always tied to a reason (you don’t do this for me, you make me mad when) telling him is better than living with it silently.
Ugh… way too vague of a post… But perhaps he resents you too. Especially if this is how vague you are in day to day life…
Got married in July and yesterday realized I don’t know why I married him. Used to think I was in love with him but after moving into a new house we can’t afford and buying new things he had to have while I go without I’m not sure I ever loved him. We spend almost no time together and when we do we are fighting or sitting silently while I fill out job applications (because all of a sudden my job that supported us for almost 8 months after he quit his job for no reason) isn’t good enough and I have to get a real job or risk us all being homeless. But it goes both ways. I know he is only with me because we have a child together and he doesn’t want me to take full custody since he screwed up so badly with his other kids.
Talking to him is the only way out.
I agree there isn’t enough infor to really give advice…do you have kids? work outside of home? How much alone time do you and your husband get to spend with each other and apart? Just based off the crying all the time and being angry it does sound like you have some form of depression but that may not be the case if there is a reason your crying and a reason your angry. I hope things work out for you.
I think every marriage has its stages. My husband and I actually took a couples retreat right after we got married not because we were having problems but just because we wanted to be prepared for what was to come. We did go through this a couple years back but honestly work and kids, it all caught up to us where we were arguing about every minor thing. COMMUNICATION is key, not arguing back and forth but actually try to listen and put each other in the other person’s shoes and try to be understanding and don’t dismiss each other’s feelings and listen.
Going through those Feelings as well…
Start with yourself. Find a professional to work with.
Find what you feel he has done and talk to him about it
This happened to me a few years ago. I went and saw my doctor and got on anti depressants…saved my marriage
One thing to realize is no one is perfect. As long as he isn’t being abusive you can try the following.
Write down some positives every day about your husband. (This could be why you fell in love, your favorite feature about him, something he did for you even if it’s taking out the trash)
If he does something to annoy you think to yourself… have you ever done anything to annoy him? This makes you realize that you both are human.
Do something nice for him we don’t realize that you how much doing something nice for someone could in turn lead to our partners going out of thier way to be nice to us.
Find a hobby. Find something to do to take the focus off being annoyed with someone and finding joy in a project.
Yes I did!! I resented the fact everything was dumped on my shoulders n he wanted no involvement in r household or the marriage. He just wanted a comfy home n life with no responsibilities at all.
A lot of great suggestions, however, there isn’t much to reply without additional information.
Do you have a history of depression? On any meds for depression?
How long have you been together?
Do you have children together?
Have you been in relationships and had similar feelings of resentment?
Have you considered counseling with a focus of your relationship with your fathet.
If you don’t know why your having feelings of resentment, then you have to explore your feelings. This is a good time to start journaling about your feelings. Journaling can be easy for some, while challenging for others. The key to journaling is to write about anything. People think that what they write must automatically relate to a main issue, but it doesn’t. Just write. The more you do it, the more sense it will make over time.
I went through this. I was being severely emotionally abused. I knew it but he was really good at gaslighting so I didn’t know it. I thought I was over reacting & it was my fault he treated .me that way. I even tried counseling but he came up with ways to prevent me from going until the counselor dropped me. I suspect your lack of understanding of your emotions & inability to explain it is because of the emotional games he’s playing with your head. You’re upset all the time but he tells you there’s no reason to be upset. Things happen as a direct result to your behavior. He would or wouldnt do this or that if you weren’t something (emotional, stupid, angry etc). If this sounds familiar dump him. Get a good domestic abuse counselor. She will help you understand your feelings & the abuse you’re suffering.
I went through this a few years ago xx
How long have you been married. Do you work outside the home? Do you go on regular dates with your husband? Can’t even offer any advice without knowing some back ground.
Yes, maybe with more info we could advise… but from what little is said…I would assume that you have some issues that you need to look at and deal with.
Every married woman ever x
I’m not marrie, never have been so I’m not for sure but maybe take a break or get out together to have fun💗
I felt that way with both of my ex-husbands. But not with my boyfriend of 7 years. Of course i don’t live with him
Resentment spreads like cancer. Address your feelings.
I had resentment after being in an emotionally , financially, abusive marriage for 24 years. There must be an issue causing this
I went through this. I resented him to the point that I didn’t give one single fk about him, what he did or who he talked to. After so many drunken fights and him saying he’d change, he never did. I shut down completely on him. He went to work one morning and texted he wanted a divorce. I do sleep better now and I don’t resent certain days of the week anymore! I smile more and take better care of me now. My only drawback is I have absolutely no desire to date or even talk to a man. Been divorced almost 2 years now. Oh what a blessing it was.
Yes I did…Was an issue we had that had been sorted but actually inside not sorted if that makes sense.Looking back I realised I’d been holding it in for months,getting angrier and angrier,picking stupid fights ect.Because my husband thought we’d sorted it he had no idea why I was so angry all the time.We did sort it all out but afterwards I realised how much hurt and unhappiness I’d have saved us both if I’d just dealt with my feelings and spoke to my husband about what the real issue was.Deep down you know what the issue is.He is not a mind reader you need to be frank and honest,take it from there…Wishing you well xx
Sounds like it may be depression and not something your husband is doing if you can’t pinpoint the why. Maybe talk to a therapist?
I’m going through this now. If you need someone to talk to send me a message.
Sit down an have a talk with him maybe you could be the problem hear his side antell your side then have a nice dinner an have a good night with him something is lacking try it out good luck ,
Figure out why and talk to him. But realize hes jot in control of your feelings. I talk to mu husband and tell him i dont want to be angry or resentful but when such n such happens or that i need you too do (insert action).
Until I left 6 years ago
Please talk to him. Get all your cards on the table and talk about whatever it is you’re resenting frankly and honestly. The longer you bottle it up the worse these feelings will get and you may end up saying something you regret. Good luck xx
You get resentful only when you found yourself not being able to do things that he does. You feel limited in certain ways but he is free in anything and everything. The sooner you address it to him about how you feels may save your relationship because if you allow these feelings to consume you then you will no longer feel any love for him. Just resentment and there will be no saving then.