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QUESTION:
"I am really struggling in my marriage right now nd could use som advice. My husband and i were both rasied christian…i have always gone to church…but never felt at home within the church. i always felt weird and have always been called to paganism but i couldnt tell anyon in my family because i would basically be shunned…lately i have decided to start expressing myself in the ways that i want too and learn abou tthe pagan gods and wicca, i truly feel this wreay of life is my actual calling and now i have fully stopped christian churches as a whole…my husband is very upset with me and barely talks to me anymor ebut i could not sit there being fake to who io i actually am anymore…he says we were basically married under false pretenses now because i was a “fake christian”…how do i handle this and make him understand paganism and wicca isnt actually that bad? whwere di i go from here?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"If you weren’t fully you can you blame him? Now that you are fully you, is he and his beliefs something you want?"
"Unfortunately hun, you likely won’t… I have been given so much hell by a lot of my family and lost numerous friends over it. I wish I could have a good answer but honestly I would suggest either secular, as on non church based, couples counseling or you guys should end things. Different beliefs within a marriage can’t work for everyone but if you feel comfortable messaging me personally I’m pagan and willing to talk to you about things"
"You divorce him and follow your heart. If he truly loved you he would accept you wholly no matter what you believe in. There is someone out there who will love you as you are. Blessed be"
"Your marriage isn’t going to work out - if he is that much into his faith, and you’re not and push the issue. It’s probably a deal breaker for him."
"Just be you and give him time to take it all in. If he flats out refuses to accept you, then its time to move on. You finally found your self. Don’t shove it away again to make someone else happy."
"There of course is nothing wrong with your choice of “belief” or faith but your husband does have a strong case for bait and switch, if it is more than he can accept then you have a difficult decision coming your way"
"Let him be I gotta say he’s correct and depending on his faith/denomination this could mean an invalid marriage. He may need to time to evaluate and decide. Yes you must be true to yourself but so must he."
"You dont have to shove your beliefs to the side for him but at the same time i think his feelings are somewhat valid. IMO If religion is important to him he probably wants someone that is just like him in that way. Its a preference and i dont think hes wrong for that. Yes you could have atleast talked to him about your religious curiosities and new found beliefs. But since you didnt you should try to have that conversation with him now. Ask him what does he think about paganism. Ask him if you practicing wicca is where he would draw the line or is there some way of compromising and coexisting. Ask him if he’d be willing to learn about your perception of it. Yall gotta have an open conversation where both of you guys are willing to hear each other out without pushing back."
"All I can say is, have a good long talk to him about everything, if you guys come to mutual ground that’s great if you don’t then just go from there, life is gonna take you through things you don’t wanna go through, don’t be scared to embrace it… cause the outcome is gonna be better than the struggle, always. I wish you well and hope the best for you, sorry you are going through this. I’m southern Baptist, I’m not gonna sit here and down you for your choice & change in beliefs, I’m not gonna shove my beliefs down your throat and make it seem like that’s the only choice you have, everyone is different & that’s okay, doesn’t mean we can’t get along or love one another."
"He has found his true religion and you have found yours. You wouldn’t want him trying to sway you back to his so why try to do it to him? Probably best to part ways as amicably as possible"
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