I am struggling to get excited about my baby...advice?

How to get excited for 3rd baby? I have 7 weeks left and I’m honestly trying so hard to be excited. I havent bought anything, I haven’t talked about baby names… We weren’t planning on ever having more than 2 but life surprises you. I’m just worried I wont be able to bond. Any time someone brings it up I just change the subject because I have nothing to say. I feel crappy about it because she deserves to feel wanted.

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Prenatal depression is a real thing. Please talk to you midwife and your GP. It’s best to put the support in place now, if you need it, it’s already set up… If you don’t, you will have an awesome support team in place.

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your running around after 2 other kids. the exitment of the upcoming extra person to care for is probs far and few between, don’t feel bad, ur brain is just aware what that cute little baby is going to turn into lol :joy:
on top your probs exhausted emmotionally and physically :heart: go easy on your self

I felt like this with my first. I was so afraid. Of everything. Of losing all I worked for (I own a small business) and how would I keep up. I struggled to form any bond or much excitement during pregnancy. Even with ultrasounds. The first few months were hard but I loved her to pieces and once she laid on my chest in the hospital I thought she was just the most beautiful little thing I’d ever seen. It was tough and I had postpartum but I got help when I needed it and worked through. She is my best friend. I’m sure you are worn out caring for 2 already. But I think you may be pleasantly surprised Mama. Hang in there :heartpulse:

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Just take a breath and try to stop imagining how you wanted your life to look I feel like I do that a lot when things don’t go the way that I planned but I tried to remember just because I didn’t plan it doesn’t mean it can’t be amazing. I’m sure once the baby is here and you’re holding her in your arms you will start to bond :heart:

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I say pray about it and ask God to help you love this baby as much as He loves the baby!

Well I know how you feel. The same thing happened to me, and I was just tired. A friend showed up at my door with so many things that I would need. I was so grateful! But when I got that baby in my arms, those feelings were overwhelming. That baby has been the biggest blessing!!

I felt the same way with my second child. I thought, “I love my child so much cannot imagine I loving another.”
Wrong! As soon as I held him in my arms, as soon as I heard that first cry, as soon as I looked into his beautiful eyes!! I fell in love…over, and over again. :heart:

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Eh it’s not always this magical things that movies portrays it to be especially since it’s your 3rd and you know all of the hard work that is coming and that can be overwhelming. How your feeling is okay. Hang in there :heart: I also found that my 3rd baby was just less exciting. When she came out though my heart grew 3x bigger. Give yourself some slack. Be kind to yourself. And most importantly take care of yourself :heart:

My second pregnancy was twins. I cried for days before I was able to come to terms with that. I was happy for /another/ baby, but terrified and dreading two. My oldest was 2 when they were born. They’re “newbornhood” was hard, more so the first year, but we all dredged through and managed to survive. It took a little longer to be able to bond with them “properly” but I’ve loved them ever since I got hold them. It’s tough, but doable. Good luck mama, and don’t beat yourself up

God wanted you to have this baby. He/she is a blessing and deserves to be treated as such.

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I went through this to sweetheart, trust me once they are here you can’t really picture life without them. 🩷🩶

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I was the same with my third. I didn’t want but 2 and was told my numerous doctors I’d never have another(too many problems) but now my little man is almost 8 months old and I couldn’t imagine life without him. He is the happiest baby I have ever seen always smiling and laughing. And has the most gorgeous blue eyes that just shine in the sunlight

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I went through something similar, we picked out a name at the hospital, and got what we needed after he was here. He’s 7 months now, and I couldn’t imagine not having him here. It took about 4 months for me to bond with him, I wasn’t able to breastfeed so that definitely didn’t help the bonding

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That’s not necessarily a terrible thing. Sometimes things don’t line up correctly. Maybe when she gets here, you’ll look at her and fall in love. It’s a very big change and sometimes it takes longer to adjust. I hope everything goes well for you and your baby girl

What you are going through is not rare, just not talked about. I promise you will fiercely love that baby when they come

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Its pretty normal and not everyone can or wants to admit it. And not everyone needs to seek professional help and get medicated for being realistic! So annoying weird people jump to that immediately instead admitting youre right and in tune with yourself. You didn’t want another kid , this is a surprise and you have 2 kids that you love so much that another really wasn’t I’m the picture of your story. It’s changing though so you will have to gear up for the new family picture. The moments watching your 2 kids learn to play and love and care for your new baby will be a huge moment for you in bonding. This baby is now all of your family’s baby. You’ll get there as they will to. Everyone’s going to adjust :heart: you’ve got lots of support with the 5 of you working together.

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This is valid & absolutely you don’t have to parent if you don’t want to. Your life matters too.

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It changes from 2 angels to 3 angels.

Happened with my second son, he was a surprise and never turned to face down and I rarely felt his kicks Because he faced my spine and he was born early due to preclamsia and was C-section… took 2-3 months to bond. I loved on him and nurtured as I did with my oldest son, and now that he’s almost 2, I realize I love him differently. Not less. It’s weird.

I think your feelings will change after you see her

I felt the same way with my 3rd pregnancy. I wasn’t excited for her until I was on my way to the hospital to have her. And if I’m being fully honest I’m not sure ibwaa then yet either. And I TRIED. I forced myself to bring up the subject of names even though I didn’t really care. My kids and I picked out an outfit or 2(their idea)avoided talking about her.
Holding her for the first time changed that at least a little. But when I got to fully take her in I was OVER WHELMED with love and excitement and all the things. It WILL hit you, I promise.
Mines 4 months old now and bonded as much as any of others. You’ll love her just perfectly.

I don’t think you have to force feeling any one way or the other. It’s ok if you don’t feel the same excitement you did with the others. Once your little one is born, I’m sure those cuddly emotions kick in. But if they don’t, please make an appt with your doctor. I’d start with your gynecologist and then go from there. But odds are that won’t be the case.

But don’t worry about it. Things are much different with this third one…you’re being pulled in all sorts of directions and it’s totally ok to feel what you feel :heart:

If you are at all worried/concerned by it, just bring it up to your doctor at your next visit. It’s very likely hormone related

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Your baby will be a precious unexpected gift, and even if you’re not feeling excited about it, that’s ok!

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I went through this when I was pregnant with my 3 child. I didn’t talk about it much and my husband pointed out to me that I didn’t seem like I even cared that we were having a baby. He now says I pay way more attention to the baby than anyone else and he is the center of attention and I do anything for him. He’s a baby, I’m supposed to right lol whatever. I’m not mean to the other kids and don’t ignore them. My other kids never paid any attention to what I’m doing. This one follows me around and if I walk out the front door he flips out but only at home which is weird but ok. You’ll get there. I promise

You will, I wasn’t very excited about my third. She’s actually the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t know how much I needed her. I asked them not to place her on my chest when she was born, they did anyway. I’m glad they did though, because she needed it. I think I did too. Everything will be okay. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Omg. I wish I would have had a 3rd baby!!! I hope you bond right away and are so in love you just cannot hold it in!!!:heart::heart:. Babies are a gift from god​:pray:

That’s how I was w my last… she just recently turned 1… I had nothing for her yet no names… but when I saw her… I just knew… now I love her more then anything… I love all my kids… I have 4… 3 girls and 1 boy… my boy is the oldest… :smiling_face::heart:

I hope you find the answer and get it resolved .

Jesus wept. Some of y’all in the comments are keen on citing god and then judging this woman with your whole chest. Do not judge or you too will be judged.

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You will be fine when you see that little one

Wait til you see the babies face. You’ll change.

If this feeling persists do not hesitate to go get help. Just like postnatal depression there can be prenatal depression as well. It’s real, exists, it is dangerous, and I can be dealt with! Go get help.

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You need to talk to your primary care doctor or your OB/GYN as this is all a part of depression and it will get worse after the baby is born. It’s something that happens a lot. I don’t know where you live, but there is an international organization called Postpartum Support International and there are medical professionals who are members who want to help mommas like you. I’m a nurse case manager and work in a pediatric office and have mommas who feel like you do. Perinatal depression is the #1 complication of childbirth. Please get the assistance you deserve and need. Wishing you all the best.

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I know this may seem really odd…
Once you deliver close your eyes hold her close and repeatedly breathe the smell.of the top of her head. That new baby smell is designed to begin releasing oxytocin and bonding hormones in out bodies! You got this momma

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Get your hubby to have the snip now while you are pregnant so no more slip ups :laughing: . I am sure the feelings will disappear when baby arrives .

My stepdaughter wanted a girl so bad w her first she found out was a boy and she was sad … unfortunately she did not really bond with him hopefully you bond with ya sweetie prayers Hun

My third was my mini me, and a very easy baby, 2 is twice the work but the third just kinda adapts and slide right into place

I went through the same exact thing with my 3rd. I had no feelings and I was so scared I wasn’t going to bond with him and just completely reject him emotional wise. But that feeling went away once he was born. I grew an immediate attachment to him and I couldn’t imagine our family without him now :blue_heart:

Wow…idk but you need to make sure you can take car eif this baby and at least get what you will need diapers wipes formula if needed clothes…

I kinda feel this. When I was pregnant with my third I had so much life drama going on and instability I didn’t even know how far along I was at any given time. I had to check the app! But baby gets here and all that melts away

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i am going to be brutally honest, i went through this with my first born, i tried so hard to bond, to be his mother i struggled for 3 months and when i caught myself yelling at him saying some not so nice things i gave him up for adoption. He is now 33, i met him when he was almost 20, he stayed for almost a week give or take but i was glad to see him go.
sorry to say for some it never changes. I hope it does for you momma.

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I don’t understand. You don’t want the baby, but you’re carrying it to term anyway? You all telling her that you’re sure she it will work itself out. No it won’t. In my opinion this is why we have so many children suffering, because they came into the world unwanted.

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Glad I’ve never experienced this. It’s a trip how many women have, kind of scary even. But since you all say it’s normal. Doesn’t sound normal to me and I’m glad I feel this way. I would never want to normalize not feeling connected to my child and I feel sorry for any woman who does. For me, it’s unnatural.

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I would talk to your o.b and/or maybe a therapist about it, especially because you’re so close to having her. This sounds like you’re at pretty high risk for post-partum depression. Medication would likely help, if you’re open to that. I left an abusive relationship when I found out I was pregnant with my third, and it made it hard to be excited for a while, but I spoke with a social worker that my o.b office has available, (basically short therapy) and I started a medication for the depression and anxiety I was having. What really helped me start to get excited was choosing his name and buying him things. I think that if you allowed yourself to do those things, it would maybe help you get excited.

If you feel this way put it up for adoption for a family that will be excited and love this baby

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It’s ok. I had severe prenatal depression. I didn’t think I would ever bind. It comes. Talk to a health care professional

We had # 3 four years after our second child. It was a little difficult getting it together- but once she was here! I was instantly in love with her- sometimes it’s the thought of how difficult it will be, worrying if the baby will disrupt the flow of the family. That’s normal. But if you are having a lot of issues with despair and Depression you may want to consider talking to your doctor and even think about ta to a therapist. You can call 988 Americas Behavioral Health hotline- they can assist you with a non crisis response team you can work with. Best of luck and love to all of you!

If you have zero feelings of excitement at this point and don’t even care enough to pick a name then you may want to seek help. I wasn’t planning a 3rd child, had just turned 40, with a 3year old with special needs. I had all the same worries, in fact I would honestly say we were pretty sad for the first few weeks after we found out. As the pregnancy progressed, and I heard the heartbeat, found out the sex, felt movement I felt better and by the midpoint I was so thankful to get the chance again. Once the baby is born you might feel some close moments at birth and soon after but what happens when the sleep deprivation, other kids, postpartum hormones and healing all come to a head? I was very happy by the time he was born but I’m in the midst of all the newborn stuff now and can’t imagine doing this clinically depressed which is what you are. If you cared enough to ask the question you already know the answer. See a doctor. Your baby deserves your effort to get better, as do you.

I felt this way with my daughter hubby told everyone before I could even I mean he told my mom before I got to that we were having a girl it hurt a lot and I felt disconnected all the way till about 3 months ago and she’s now 9 months old

Its called being responcible.

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People who don’t want children, or more than a certain number of children should do something so they would not get pregnant again or get pregnant at all. These little babies don’t deserve all of this.

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It’s ok mama.
This is incredibly normal.
I felt this way with my 4th. I didn’t plan on having more and truth be told, her father and I were already very rocky. I was also 38 years old. I was tired. There was every reason not to be excited and the pregnancy was by far the hardest. I had a hematoma so I had to rest all the time. I gained weight. I was physically and emotionally exhausted…
But then she arrived. I was so in love the minute I had her. All of those feelings and fears melted away. I was so glad she was here.
If you’re struggling I encourage you to let others know. Maybe seek some support from other moms. And if these feelings continue or get worse after the baby is born, talk to your doctor.
You don’t have to be excited.

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Get some professional help! Your doctor ffs not facebook!

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If you werent plannin on more than 2 why you didnt get tubal ligation so you wouldnt be having more? Dont blame the baby. She isnt a mistake in Gods plan. You might ask OBGYN about tubal ligation so you dont get pg again.

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I promise you that as soon as you hold your little one all the love in the world will come to you and everything will be OK. I went thru this also and you couldn’t make me believe I could love another child like my first one. I hated every single minute of pregnancy :unamused: but as soon as I held him I realized that I wanted him more than anything and everything fell into place. Good luck and God bless you. Everything is going to be ok

:heart: :heart: I’m so sorry momma! It’s hard but don’t beat yourself up. If anything you need to take extra care of yourself right now. Talk with your provider firstly. Then do some kind things for yourself. Get your hair done and go out to a nice lunch. Get yourself a baby name book and make a list of stuff you need for the baby. Give that list to your husband, mom, sisters, or close friend and have them check off the list. Spend the next 7 weeks doing nice things for you. Take long bathes, even if you aren’t a reader find a good book and just read, have hubby give you a massage. Just be kind to you!!! :heart:

PLEASE, PLEASE, after the baby is born, please speak to a therapist. Also tell your OB how you are felling, I am not saying you are going to hurt the baby, but not being excited about one about to be born, other things are going on & they need to be talked about with a neutral person (therapist) If you live somewhere in the USA, I still hope they are given new moms a PPD paperwork with a lot of questions, please answer them the way you are feeling or have been feeling , , they are to give the RN’s & OB, a heads up with how things can go with you during this time. But the fact you are feeling the way you state now, your OB needs to be aware…now

it happens, don’t be so hard on yourself once baby is here you will be just fine…I felt similar to this with my fourth

I think is normal to feel that way, you might feel differently as soon as you give birth to her and hold her , but if nothing change please please ask for help

So because of your actions, you’re having a 3rd baby, but are not excited because you didn’t want more then two? You’re just gunna take it out on an innocent baby because you got knocked up? Yea that’s messed up.

Not all women have a mothering instinct for ALL their kids.