I’m really struggling with my mental health due to being left and disrespected while pregnant. I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child, and the Father is absolutely horrible. We were dating for a few months, and I unexpectedly fell pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ve tried to be civil and involve him, but he has zero respect for me and appears to have a lot of hatred. He told me that he has a new GF now and she doesn’t want him to have anything to do with my son or me. He also said that he wouldn’t see me because he doesn’t want to be tempted to sleep with me. I don’t want a romantic relationship with him; I only wanted him to be part of my son’s life. It’s very hurtful, and I’m feeling incredibly lost. Know other women have been through similar situations. I could really use some advice, guidance, and positive vibes atm. How do I handle this? Please send positive vibes my way. I need it right now.
Don’t put him on the birth certificate.
Speak with a therapist.
Fix your crown queen and move on. You and the baby are better off without him.
Well my sons dad and I split up after my son was 6 months old. His involvement is very minimal I don’t get child support but I’m in the process of filing. I don’t force him to be involved aside from that if he doesn’t want to our son or send him gifts for holidays or his birthday then that’s fine. It took me a year and a half after our separation for me to accept it all and now that I’ve accepted it it’s made my life so much easier. It’s all a process of going through the emotions esp when your pregnant it’s very disheartening. But you need to be strong for your baby and I told myself multiple times God gave me my son for a reason❤️
He has made his stance VERY clear. Dont give the baby the jerks name. Accept the choice you made and move on and be the best you can be for your kid. Not saying it’s easy but forget him.
Go to legal aid and get some advice on parental rights and serve him with child support papers for him to start supporting your son, and to do a custody arrangement! Get counseling for yourself to deal with all the changes that it will bring being a single mom
Get the legal DNA test, obtain a court ordered child support decree with visitation privileges. If he chooses to exercise the opportunity to participate in your sons life, that’s great. If he doesn’t , your son is better off.
I’d honestly let him go. If he’s letting you down, he will let that baby down.
I’d be happy live happy and kick some single mama warrior ass and make a great life for you and that baby. Congrats too.
Honey, you’re expecting a different situation for your child, maybe bc that’s what you had growing up… but your situation does not have any rule book to follow. You see this as a bad thing. DON’T!! This is a blessing! Do not involve him, do not put his name on the birth certificate, don’t tell him your child’s name or possible name. Just block him and forget he exists. This is your child.
Let him go you and the baby are better off. Dont give him his last name, dont put him on the birth certificate! Move on with your life you deserve better and so does that baby. If he does not want to be involved that is his choice and his loss.
Your baby may be better off without him! You got this mama. You don’t need a person like that in your life especially around your kids.
If he is being angry and resentful because you continued the pregnancy, it would be a mistake to push him to be in this child’s life. I’m speaking from experience. I moved out the day I found out I was pregnant because he did not want a baby. My daughter will be 4 yrs old next week and he is still bitter. Get some counseling. Let your friends and family be your support system. I have a wonderful man now and he loves my child as his own. You will be ok.
He told you he didn’t want a child. You should respect that as well. Walk away. Sounds like yall are better off without him.
You don’t have to put him on the birth cert and you don’t need to involve him in your sons life and since he doesn’t want anything to do with either of you I’d abide by his wishes but I’d also make sure he pays child support.
Make sure his name is on birth certificate. U cant make someone care even tho he should. Count your blessings and plan a life for you and your child without him. You will be better off without the heartache. Turn to family, friends and God.
Put father unknown. Don’t let him back in your life. He’s never going to be a father. I know this. Same happened to me 29 years ago. I have a great woman with a PhD and in her own home. You can do this.
God provides for the birds and the bees he will provide for your child.The GF day is coming. Same knife sticks goat stick sheep
Get your prenatal visits and talk with a therapist to help with your emotions. There is no need to be stressed during your pregnancy so do what is best for you and baby. Your precious baby will change your life and show you just how strong you are. Keep moving forward and hold your head up high. Sending you prayers 
Im a single mom and completely understand. Right now leave it alone. Some space will do you both good. The last thing you need to do is stress and worry over a man who is clearly giving you grief. Everything you feel the baby feels. And can cause the baby to become high strung. Step back, take a breath and focus on you and the baby right now. When you’ve both had some time to yourself try to have an adult conversation, if it’s still toxic leave him alone and take it to court.
He isn’t worth the salt in your tears!!!
You got the best part of him when you got pregnant. I would talk to your doctor, you stress… The baby will stress. Being pregnant puts your emotions all over the place.
Better things are waiting for you…
I know its hurtful, and you feel alone… Join a support group. Keep your head up. I wish you the best
Girrrll my baby daddy left me when I was two months pregnant and had a gf when I was five so yeah looks like you’re gonna be doing this shit by yourself. Do not put his name on the birth certificate or give him the dads last name… Therapy isn’t a bad idea either.
Put him on child support so he can at least be financially responsible. Put his name on the birth certificate. He’s still your child’s father and you owe your child that
Counseling might be useful for you to work on your mental health. You have to love yourself and know that you can make it without him. If he lets another person dictate if he sees his child, he is a loser. You don’t need someone coming and going in and out of your child’s life. Please know that you deserve better. You can’t make him grow up. Just remember to focus on what you do want and keep going. Some days are hard, but you can do it. Hopefully, you have a good support system of family and friends. Best wishes to you and your child.
For everyone saying dont put him on the b.c clearly dont have kids and need to not comment
Let him go you don’t need him but get him for child support you. Don’t need drama your pregnant you need to be relax healthy for yourself and baby and girl you could do it .
You know in the deep of your heart he is not going to be a good father, you don’t want your kid learn that be like him is ok. When my marriage ended I was very scared to be a single mother, but is not horrible at all, you have the time and you do your parenting without intervention. Just do the legal part, but don’t insist. He is out of your lifes.
I put father unknown on literally any form of paperwork that came my way. My son’s father hasn’t been around since I found out I was pregnant and honestly it’s much better that way. You can’t force a boy to be a man. One day your son will have a father who loves him and you just gotta be patient. For now be m.a.d mom and dad. You will be a bomb ass momma hun. Congrats
I am so so sorry …I know it is an awful feeling and have gone through something similar. You’ll be less stressed and hurt to cut him out completely. My inbox is open to you, and I wish you the best.
Accept it and move on.
Take a deep breath. You WILL be ok. Go on with YOUR life and start planning for the addition of your lil one. You can not force him to be in your babies life what so ever…BUT, you can force him to help support the child. Once the baby is born, name him as the biological father, and go after every cent of child support they will give you, because you will need it. Don’t you DARE feel guilty for going after that support either. He laid down with you, and he KNOWS how pregnancy happens… To Me it sounds like you still are in a way hoping for your happily ever after with this guy. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, and not facing that will hurt more than continuously slamming your head into a brick wall. Let that fantasy go now. He’s a jerk, or just not mature enough to be a baby daddy, or both…Either way, you have a baby to think of now…do what you need to do to make sure that child has a happy, stable, and safe life…
The blessing is in the breakup
Is their any single moms groups around ? Ask at wic office health Dept ? A good group of moms would be positive they’ve been through similar things?
Dont put his name on BC. Leave n move on. ASAP
Enjoy YOUR son and let him live without the joy of having this child. He doesn’t deserve you or your son.
You should be so damn proud of yourself. YOU are the better person.The only good thing he did for you was that he was smart enough to get away from you and your future child. Since he has no respect for you how do you expect him to have respect for your child you could be in a relationship were this guy could have beat you and your child and I dont only mean physically but emotionally.Its better not to be forced into a relationship were there clearly be no support love or respect You now have the responsibility to guide this new life to be the best person they can be.A child learns by example and the last thing you need is an un willing partner in your life who has the audacity of throwing a new girlfried in your face that is not a man you want in your life You have the right to be loved and Im sure there is a man out there who wants that as well.Also your hormones are probably in crazy mode Take time to get into your own head to surround yourself with loved ones or family and build a support network for yourself
He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby, it’s sad but that is his choice, you made a different choice and need to focus on that and your life ahead with your baby, you’re being just as disrespectful to him by pushing the issue and attempting to force him to change his mind, as he is with you, simply move on, don’t put him on the cert ect and focus on the fact that you have a baby die soon, tho probably not soon enough, and emerse yourself in being a mum, the right person will come along and be the person you want eventually, he simply wasn’t that person for you
I’ve been in a similar situation. Move on. Put father unknown on the birth certificate and attach with the application with the reasons why, such as he didn’t want children and started being difficult and now has another partner. You can do this. You’ll find you’ll have a great bond with your child.
While I respect that you want your child to have a father, your ex made it clear he does not want a child. While you have the right to keep your child, you can not force him to talk to you or be part of the child’s life…he is finacially responsable though and you should take him to court for that support For Your Child.
First off your health and your child’s health is most important right now. I know that is much easier said then done but you need to try to limit your stress it will only cause your child to stress and create more issues for you. I would highly recommend contacting an attorney and having him sever his rights as soon as possible. Make it legal now do not take his word for anything. Follow your instincts and do what you feel is in your best interest. You CANNOT force someone to be a parent or to love a child it will only create HUGE problems. I can tell you from experience it’s much better to grow up with a absent parent then to grow up with one that hates you!
You’re going to just have to forget about him for now and move on with your baby. Being a single mother is so much easier than being in a bad relationship raising a child…you will make a way for you and your baby…concentrate on yourself for now and the rest will be figured out as you go. Do not let this ruin the most magical time of being pregnant
You will be able to live with yourself. If this guy has any human decency he would take responsibility. It isn’t going to be easy by yourself but think what if you had to deal with a jerk for the next 18 years. " not everyone you lose. Is a loss. Hugs
Depending where your from, you may not be able to put him on the birth cert, so don’t stress over that. Enjoy the next 15 weeks, give or take. Focus on you and that sweet baby boy who once you see him in the flesh, all your current emotions will be put on the back burner.
Look around you, look at all the women you see, the mamas single or not, none of us had a book on how to do this momma thing. You being a good momma has very little to do with father being there or not. You being a good momma has everything to do with you! Your support system, your child’s support system, has nothing to do with the father being there. It depends on the people who care, love, and allow you to lean on them when you really need to. Yes the father there would be great for your son, but you can’t force that. Just because you made the decision yo be there every day doesn’t mean you will be able to force him. Love you and your son so much that his absence isn’t felt. And yes you can do that, and yes its hard, and yes as baby boy grows up some days he will ask, but deal with those when that time comes. Right now stop stressing over him and what you can’t make happen and start preparing for the day where you will fall in love on a whole new level and trust that you will be the very best mommy that little man could ever ask for (and yes you will be the best momma for him).
Counciling and dont keep reaching out to him. He has obviously made the point you are on your own. Focus on you and your baby. I pray you have family and or friends who will be there for you
My sons father left me when I was 5 months pregnant. I was devastated & worse is that we worked in the same place. I was so distraught that eventhough I ate, my baby wasn’t getting the nutrients because of my emotional state. My placenta started drying up & my baby’s health was at risk. You need to talk to a therapist & more importantly know that God ALWAYS works everything out. Eventhough yiu don’t understand why this is happening to you, put your trust & faith in God. He’s the only one who can get you through this. You’ll be ok. GOD has a bigger blessing for you! Just focus on your baby.
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He was Horrible Before you decided to have his baby?
Why would you make a child suffer with a man child you knew was Not husband/father material?!
Now you going to struggle raising a baby and you child will not function as well without a good dad.
Hopefully you will meet a Real Man that will be a role model and take the child as his own
But that was a Bad Choice and you can’t complain when you Won’t take Personal Responsibility
Birth Control was a solution
The courts will make sure he does the absolute least that’s child support
You could be a good advocate for birth control! Really.
Been there, done this…
Count yourself very lucky that u have “angels” looking out for u and your unborn son and that all the fathers true colors have come to light now…b4 the baby is born. Now u know where u and your son stand with this so called MAN. Really, really think over all options…whos last name will your son have?(a mans that wants nothing to do with him or his mothers who will sacrifice the rest of her life for her child?) Will u even put the father on the birth certificate at all? U and your son will be together through thick and thin. Daddys come and go ALL the time…
He made it clear, he is out.
Please focus on yourself now. I mean really put your best interest ahead of everything before the baby comes. Move on. Prepare for life as a single parent. Millions of people do it everyday. As soon as he’s born, put him on child support through the attorney general. Do not wait. Without a court order bad things could happen, please trust me. It will be okay😊 I promise.
I am so sorry for the harsh words and I know how difficult this situation is but try your best to let him go. It is what is best for you and you beautiful unborn child. He will cause nothing but hatred and stress in your heart. You can do this. I am living proof.
Don’t worry it doesn’t take blood to be a father and a smart, beautiful, loving woman like you will meet a man that loves both you and that baby he will regret it having to come and apologize to his grown son ,you reap what you sow
You have to ask yourself why you want him in your kids life. A baby doesnt give a fuck who is there as long as theyare loved
Hell come back… Youll see…
Having him in your son’s life gives your son the opportunity to learn how to disrespect and avoid being a responsible person. He obviously only sees you as a sex object…
You chose to have the baby, I am assuming you can financially raise it without him.
While it may seem extremely difficult… I have confidence you have all it takes to raise your son without him.
I’d ask him to sign his rights over then 
or you can put him on child support an just be happy you aren’t dealing with him cause I wouldn’t want my kid around my sons father if the girl friend is telling him to neglect his kid ain’t no telling how she would treat your kid if she is acting like that now .
You will get through this. My daughter’s Dad came into her life when she was 6 months old. Her “father” still isnt a part of her life 28 yrs later.
Why would you even want his toxic energy around your child??? Focus on you and that precious baby. And learn from this.
Run far far away from him.
He will be a sword in you and your son’s life. Raise that boy on your own bcz you can’t make him be a good father. If he was one, he’d be one now providing for you and the baby.
Do you? If he wanted to be in your sons life he wouldn’t have said get an abortion. If he doesn’t want to be around don’t force him. He’ll realize he messed up. And it will be too late. Don’t worry about him. Worry about your mental health and your unborn boy. Keep the negative out and keep the positive in. Maybe him not being around is a good thing.
Don’t worry too much you have your baby to think about. Whatever you feel affects the baby, have a clear head and take care of the baby inside you.
Oh hun. This is terrible. However you are strong enough to do this… surround yourself with good people. He is a waste of your tears. Soon you are going to have a beautiful baby…
Ask your doctor to refer you to a maternal mental health unit… dont worry they are there to help. Depression I pregnancy is way more common than people think. You need support. The father is a waste of space and hes not needed. You can do this
So many of us have .
Been abandoned while pregnant. And we have made it through…
You are stronger than you think…
He doesnt want to be in your son’s life. Don’t force him. He clearly said he wanted you to have an abortion. Leave him alone.
Child support and move on. I promise it will get better. It’s gna suck the whole pregnancy-especially the way he did things. I’m gna pray for you to stay strong mama
Youll be okay!! I promise! My son’s donor was the same way. But i stood my ground and kept my son. I do things all on my own and yea at times it’s hard but you get use to it and youll be okay. My son is happy kid and doesn’t need the bullshit. You’ll be okay. Keep your head up!
Stay strong for your child …
When the child gets here child support …
In about another two years or so you may even meet your knight in shining armor…it will get better but don’t ever go back to him in future it won’t end well if u do
Ive been through it and the best thing I ever did was leaving him in the dust and raise my now 3 1/2 year old sweetheart girl. You’re making the absolute best decision. Thank you for choosing life!!!
Why would you want that trash to be part of your son’s life? As soon as he is born he can either pay child support or give up him rights! You and your son deserve better ! Move on!!
If he wanted you to have an abortion, he does not want to be a part of the childs life. So ,stop the stress on yourself prepare to be a single mom. Have him sign his rights over soon as the child is born. Dont even bother with child support. All you will ever be is disappointed.
Same happened to me. I went to counseling for a long time. It will get better, i swear. Its a lot to get over but make sure to seek help and ask friends n fam for help w baby. I was alone where i am, no family and they didnt know i was strughling so mych bc i hid it! Dont be afraid to ask for help!
He’s a dirt bag put his ass on child support
Focus on your baby. Forget the “father”
Leave him too it if hes done all that already he will never change run and move on never look back
You will be fine my x did the same move on and enjoy your little baby when baby comes into the world
Babes I’ve been in the exact situation all i can say to you is walk away focus on yourself and the pregnancy your baby boy will be amazing and trust me you can do it all by yourself just walk away while its still early and all the best to you
U cant make him b involved if he doesnt want to b. If he is choosing a new woman over the child that is his loss. I would tho make sure he is paying child support. Even tho the pregnancy wasnt planned and he didnt want the baby it is still his responsibility to pay for it.
As hard as it is things will get better for you and your baby hope all works our for you you need some one better then him .when you are ready you will meet some one thats right for you and your baby
So sorry you are going through this. 1. get full legal sole custody of your child. 2. move the fuck on. This man is an evil energy sucking the life from you. Close the door, pull up your big girl panties and handle your shit. Good luck sweetheart.
Go to court or child support. It’s very unlikely he will change.
It may be hard to process now because we as people don’t like rejection but count it as a blessing. You feel low but the good thing is it can’t get lower than that. You will be a wonderful mother to your baby. Take care if yourself
Fuck him don’t let it get you down my sons father did this to me too and he is now almost 4 you do not need him it will suck yes but some were later on in life you will find some one who appreciates you an wants kids with you and to be a step parent to this child on the way now forget him hes trash a waste of a man dead beat they do not change trust me I’ve been were you are don’t let it get you down do better !!
I went thru something similar. You are strong enough to do this. Just get mad at him and have a fk him attitude. He doesnt want to be there then dont let him. Dont call him or text him. You did your part. If he wants to be there he needs to contact you. Dont even contact him for the birth. Just focus on you and your beautiful baby. Your son is what matters. Not him. You will be ok. I promise.
Use your pain to make you stronger. Get over him as much as possible. Accept the fact he isn’t around and do what you can for the baby you chose! He will be back, and it will seem fine… but if I could do it over, I would have stayed far away.
He’s a pile of shit. Screw him. Make sure u file for child support right away. And just be the absolute best mommy u can be. Good luck & lots of prayers for u & your little one!
Baby doesn’t keep a boy with you. Move on and start working on a life for you and your baby. He’s not worth it and now you know for sure. You have a baby coming and that’s where your focus should be. Ignore him and say no more, hit him with child support when baby is here. Get in a good place so he can’t come back and do stupid stuff, show him you are strong and can make it without him. Never trash the father to the child as it gets older and ask about it’s father, he made the choice so he must live with it. Get some help with adjusting to the new life and be thankful he’s not making things worse. Mental health is so important, be the best you can be for your baby. Good Luck