I am terrified to give birth

I’m about to be 32 weeks pregnant so I’m down to the wire. I am absolutely terrified to give birth. I have a very low tolerance for pain. I plan on getting an epidural, but I’m afraid it might be to late, or it’ll ware off before I deliver. I’m afraid of tearing it hurting for weeks. Any tips on how to stay calm?


Just focus on the bigger picture and you’ll be fine!

When you actually get to that point you will not care about the pain at all or the anxiety it will just be get this baby out! Lol

Its going hurt no matter what but it will all be worth it after the baby is in your arms…the afterbirth was the worse part for me

1 Like

Just relax :slightly_smiling_face: child birth isn’t as horrible as everyone makes it out to be! I had two natural births no epidural, no drugs. I just used the laughing gas. You may not even tear! I didn’t with my second. I don’t understand why people inflict fear on moms to be. It’s horrible! Just think about this, 5 minutes of pain for a life time of happiness :heart:


I had an epidural and they don’t wear off until several hours later. I slept thru my entire labor after mine until the Dr woke me up and said it’s time

1 Like

3 babies in and birth still terrifies me lol. I never had and epidural because it scared me more then birth itself. My last baby I got the morphine/gravol drip which was amazing…other then making me feel foggy and slightly more emotional then normal.
Just remember it’s all worth it :heart:

1 Like

Once you’re in the moment it’s not as bad as you think. It will be over and you’ll have your baby.

Sounds to me like u have not spoken enough with ur doctor about your fears and questions. Maybe u should give him or her a call


I have a super low pain tolerance, and my epidural wore off before I started pushing. They forgot to tell me there was a button I could push to top it up! But I’m actually thankful that I got to push without it because my daughter was out in less than an hour of pushing, and the only tear I had was in my mucus wall. I’m sure it was painful but the adrenaline got me through and I can’t even remember the pain now! The worst part was honestly the stitches, and I only had 2 so that tells you how well I handle pain :joy:

Breathe girl! Its gonna end up hurting in some way no matter what but once you see your baby, your not even gonna remember all that except for thier beautiful face. It’ll be ok, stay strong momma.:heart:

Your body was made to give birth. Focus on getting your baby out safely and not the pain

1 Like

Ask for it Asap, and if it wears off they can give you more. Also look up breathing exercises on YouTube.

1 Like

Don’t solely rely on an epidural, they can have different effects on different people. I was numb but could feel all of my contractions.

I got one about 8cm with my first. And they dont wear off until they turn it off…its a constant flow of pain killer i believe. I’ve had 2. Came out fine…no rips not tears no stitches…but with every child i have the same fears as you do now.

You won’t really care at that point, all you’ll be worried about is getting baby out. It’s kind of like a “go with the flow” kinda thing.

The more you relax, the less it hurts. Practice staying calm.

You and your body just do what you need to do in the moment, without a thought. As far as tearing, that’s not a for sure thing. I’ve had 4 babies so far and not 1 stitch. You’ve got this!

Remember the blessing it will be when they put that prescious bundle of joy into your arms!

1 Like

Kegels. And I had an epidural with 5 of my births. They make sure to give it to you during the right time and it won’t let you overmedicate, but you can press a button if you’re in a lot of pain. I got it kind of late with my second because I went into my own labor and of course when they finally schedule me to get the epidural my water breaks as they had me in position. So they had to cancel the epidural and schedule a new one once they found out it was my water or if I peed myself. Most of my births were induced, so they would have me ready for some pain reliever in case I needed it before I got the epidural. I’ve used that once. It does take awhile to wear off too. I still felt what I needed to feel, like the need to push. It’s a strange feeling in the bottom. No worries honey. You have this.

I had one natural birth and 2 with epidurals…and honestly I’ll prob go natural again if I had another baby. I hated not being able to move around.

I wouldn’t do it, there’s so many side effects on getting the epidural, I didn’t think it was worth it… but if your labor is long, it may be worth it :joy::joy::joy:

Labor is the worst part. If u get that pain med you will be fine

I have a high tolerance for pain and I was scared to death. First thing to do is accept you have no choice lol… so there is no need to stress about it!! Second …please know birthing your child will be the most rewarding experience ever! Last… it’s really not as bad as what I’m sure your mind is telling you!! I labored for 14 hours before having to have a c section and although at times it is painful… just make sure to press your epidural button and if it doesn’t work as for the anesthesiologists to make it stronger… you will do just fine

Adrenaline is a pretty good painkiller too. :wink:

Itts not as bad as what u think hun i promise they will make sure you are not i. Pain just relax and it will come natural

You have to accept the fact that it’s going to hurt in some way for some amount of time. It’s childbirth and recovery can hurt too. Accepting the inevitable is the first thing you need to do.

Your body will know exactly what to do. They’ll give you the epidural and can always give more. Most doctors are pretty good about making sure you don’t tear, and just remember. It’s only a little bit of pain and once baby is out you won’t even remember it. It’s all gonna be so worth it!

I was the same way! But I made sure as soon as I was in pain I asked for the epidural when it wore off they had them come back in and put more medicine through. Once you have that you feel pressure, but you dont feel pain. It’s scary, but its gotta be done and once its happening you will be fine. Make sure you have someone with you to remind you to breathe. You gotta breathe through the contractions!

1 Like

My epidural was giving to me 3x! Every time it wore off and the cartridge was empty they just gave me another full syringe of epidural! It was a life saver since I labored for 52 hours and 40 of those I was on pitocin!

1 Like

Just remember the beauty that comes from this pain. The emotions you will have when that baby is in your arms will make yoi forget about all the pain :slight_smile:

When I had the epidural, it was a pump. So it can’t “wear off” but it can be turned down or turned off. Ask your OB what kind of epidural they use.

I was afraid of labor with my first. Let me tell you… it’s not as bad as everyone makes it seem. I did it with no drugs and it lasted 2 hrs from start to finish. You got this

I’ve done both, my second birth by the time I wanted them they couldn’t give me pain meds or epidural. Try to go in with an open mind because whatever you think your plan is very well may not happen.
Perhaps a birthing class and getting educated on breathing techniques, etc.

For me all that went out the window, it was breath, cry & swear while sitting on a ball until I had to push.
You’ve got this!

My advice to you is accept the epidural the first time they ask if you want it! If you wait too long it hurts really bad trying to sit still having really close contractions while they are trying to insert it. You will be so much more comfortable during your labor the sooner you get an epidural. :purple_heart: Good luck!

I slept through it, had a pain woke up pushed there she was.

With things that I’m afraid of I tell myself this:

If I can’t change the fact that it has to happen then what’s the point in worrying about it?

I had to wait 1.5 hrs after I asked for the epidural for the anesthesiologists to come back (he went home because it was 6:00 pm)
Then it wore off after an hour and I delivered with no medication. Then I tore inside and out. The tearing as it happens doesn’t hurt. It’s the peeing afterwards.

My advice is to make sure to voice your need for one before you actually need it lol and for the tearing…it sucks soooo bad but it heals. They have numbing spray :wink:

I’m also due to deliver in September and even after going through all that 1.5 yrs ago, I’m still so excited to meet my little girl.

Rub some lavender essential oil on you. It’ll help calm you safely.

Don’t get the epidural till you are in pain and need it. You won’t feel the needle it’ll feel like a sting compared to the pain you go through. As for ripping it happens use the water spray bottle everytime you pee for the first week and you’ll be fine.

I was scared too HOWEVER I wanted that baby out! So by the time I was 38 weeks i did not care haha!

Just breathe through it

I know ur gonna think I’m crazy, by I was in agonizing labor for 3 days. Soon as I held that precious baby in my arms, the pain was forgotten. Best wishes


If you tear, ask for extra cooling pads. They are like ice packs built into big feminine pads. Such a lifesaver.

I can’t tolerate pain either. I waited until the very last minute (6cm dilated) to get the epidural so that it wouldn’t ware off :joy: it is very scary but your super mom powers kick in & it’ll all be okay. Good luck :heart:

1 Like

I’ve had two large babies, both with epidurals, and both times I felt nothing but pressure. I was so afraid too, and I’m very self conscious, but honestly, when you’re in the moment and trying to get your baby in your arms, it all goes out the window. Yes epidurals can fail, but my experiences were just fine.

These are the best after delivery!!

Keep in mind that the pain is temporary, then you’ll be holding your beautiful baby. You’ll have the greatest prize and all the pain will be forgotten. Just remember to breathe and think about that baby’s smile. You’ll be okay.

I meditated through my labor. Turned the air as low as it could go, played music list I had made, and just closed my eyes and meditated. Oh and the ball! Omg ask for the ball. Sitting in a squating position and kinda rocking a bit here or there helps a ton! The labor pains aren’t as bad as you would think. If you’ve ever had rough period cramps then that’s pretty much what a contraction feels like. Then when she was about to come my adrenalin started going and I couldn’t even feel my contractions at all. I had to tell the nurse to tell me when I was having them so I knew when to push. I tore a tiny bit but it just burned a bit. I went natural bc I was afraid if the gave me an epidural or pitocin that I would end up having a c-section and I was terrified of that.

Get an epidural won’t feel the pain of birthing , get an episiotomy to avoid tearing!

It will all be worth it.

Epidurals are now controlled with a button, you have control of this button. You can pump more meds in as needed. I only pushed the button once and pushing my daughter out I felt it all!!! Also get the epidural early because I tried to hold out and I was having a horrible contraction every minute while they were putting in the epidural which was also very painful

1 Like

Im a big baby i hate needles anything like that i was worried too. I was induced it was long i used a tens machine and then just gas and air! The birth wasnt straight forward either team came in had to use cup to help him out then he was stuck at shoulders i tore in a couple places. But with all that i would say it wasnt too bad believe it or not… I wish i drank more water as the first wee wasnt pleasant. Cant be too bad im 22 weeks pregnant again and yes i worry but its something you never forget and thats the baby in your arms after it all x

Tell the doctor about your fears.

My epidural was great! I had that fear too but my dr. and nurses made sure I was comfortable. Its different for everyone. Good luck mama!

I had no epidurals with my 7 kids. 6 of those deliveries were natural. One was emergency c-section under general anesthesia. Remind yourself the contractions won’t last forever. Remember to breathe when having them. Pick something in the room to stare at and concentrate on deep breathing. Once the contractions turn to your body involuntarily pushing, you’ll be instructed on helping it push at those points. Deep breath in, push, return to focusing on breathing in and out.

Tell your dr you want an epidural as soon as possible. Once you get it you will be able to stay calm. I got the worse possible tear with my first child because I did not pause and give her time to rotate after her head came out. Make sure you do that.

Women have been giving birth for years. You can do it too.

Wiggle fingers and toes while breathing. Imagine baby is moving down, while wiggling fingers and toes and breathing.

Epidurals mess up your back, I know women who have chronic back pain. I would use the gas mask and wiggling toes and fingers and breathing

Epidurals dont wear off it’s a constant dosage. I was terrified too but you got this momma.

1 Like

Ive got a HORRIBLE pain tolerance. Like i cry during tattoos. And i had my first almost natural. Epidural failed. You can do this.

Just remember the pain will end and it will be worth it…:heart: i went natural all 3 times

Don’t worry
You will be fine

That’s exactly why I got my tubes completely removed after my son I never want to feel that again

Adrenaline works wonders. You sound just like I was! On my 3rd pregnancy now and I know that my adrenaline will take over, get me through it, and absolutely be worth it!

I’d like to let you know that you need to let the doctor and the nurses know how afraid you are they will be more aware of what you’re feeling and hopefully be able to guide you through it better and I just wanted to let you know that I had twins with an epidural and had absolutely no pain so don’t let them tell you you have to suffer because you don’t

I had an epidural for both of my kids. First time was a breeze, but with my son not only could I still feel everything but I felt like I was going to pass out and started tremoring pretty badly. Despite all that, the actual delivery wasn’t as painful as I thought it was going to be. You’ll be so focused on having the baby that the pain becomes an afterthought. I really wish I had opted out of the epidural with my second. Just breathe. We’re designed for this. And yes… I cry when I stub my toe, but if I could go back I’d tell the staff not to bother with the anesthesiologist.

After delivery when you get to hold that sweet baby you will forget all about any pain!!!

1 Like

Ask for a button so you can administer more epidural if needed. It will max out so you can’t overdose.
Ask for a peanut ball to help alleviate pains and help you dilate faster
Ask for stronger pain meds to be sent home with.
Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and say you need more pains meds or say NO when you need to.
Being checked to see how far you dilated hurts like a MF. I said NO after they did it one time and told them to wait till my epidural took hold.
It is your body and your labor and your birth.

Read some Books on birth. The Bradly method worked well for me. You breathe and relax all your joints by bending slightly. Gives you a little bit to concentrate on.

Find the book Birthing From Within, I loved it. Learn pain and breathing exercises. For me I breathed while opening and closing my fist, visualizing the pain exiting my fingertips as I extended them and blew out. My mom also rubbed my lower back a lot. By the time I was asking for an epidural it was too late to get one. I have a low pain tolerance, only have one tattoo and won’t get anymore because it hurt like a B! But, I’ve had 2 kids.

It’s not that bad and only last a little bit after isn’t bad either mother of 4 and epidural with only 3

I tore and it didnt hurt for weeks…but I did epsom salt soaks and witch hazel to help soothe the area. Max it hurt for like 3 days cause by the time I went home I wasnt sore anymore

I don’t have a great pain tolerance and it’s okay to be scared. The best thing you can do is remember that so many people before you have done it and you can too. The epidural is great but if you can’t that your natural endorphins (adrenaline) will kick in and the boat will drive itself, as they say. I had the epidural and then did a spinal block once I found our I was going to need a c-section instead of vaginal. Make sure you’re informed and ready for anything because it’s better to make an informed desicions than not. You got this momma!

Just tell yourself - your body was made to do this. Watch birth / family bloggers. That helped me a lot. I loved “One born every minute” on YouTube because it showed the raw and real side of L&D and how different they ALL are.

Relax dear, I had the epidural, you’ll do fine!! You won’t feel a thing!!

gas n air
…epidural has long term side effects…tears can heal…but epidural will upset ur back