I am tired of being alone at my doctor appointments: Advice?

I am a single mom of 3 girls (18, 16, and 9) I was told a couple of years ago I couldn’t have any more kids. Also, they rarely have a period. So I accepted this and looked forward to my kids moving out and enjoying life. Well, I am now 18 weeks pregnant with yet another girl. I can’t say I was ecstatic about this pregnancy, but I am getting there and have come to terms that I am starting over again (no father involved) my kids are overjoyed. Here is my problem. Every doctor appointment, sono, or anything I am alone…my kids (who want to be there cant) I am tired of being alone? Anyone else pregnant and tired of a loved one not being there. I am worried about the delivery. I want my kids there I know I can do it alone, but it really is getting to me.

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What about a midwife? Your mother or another family member/friend?

Why cant your 18 yr old as a support person… I thought most were allowing 1 support person… is this not your case

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1 person can be in the room at a time here in Ohio

Unfortunately thats the way things are right now :cry:

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I am not allowed even my husband at my appts

Iv been alone all of my appointments this pregnancy because they aint letting nobody but the patient in

Your 18 year old should be able to go with you. If the doctors are saying she can’t then tell them you need her there for support, to drive you, and to help.

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It’s so upsetting since this is my first and probably my last child I understand slightly different circumstances but it is a hard thing to get over. My husband was at one appt before this shut down and now I am alone at every appt. I am due in a few weeks it doesn’t get any easier.

A lot of places are making it where only you can go to appointments. No extra bodies.

at my Dr children can go in but not right now With the virus going around not even my husband is allowed in my appointments it sucks but oh well it’s something we must do

28 weeks here and on my 4th boy.
My husband wasnt able to come with me at all to these and he was so sad about it.

I booked an appt with baby inside me 3d 4d ultrasound here in florida and they allowed him to come in and watch the ultrasound for the full 3omins so he could finally see.

It does get hard being alone at my actual appointments but that little bit made his day so i was happy

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I’m 35 weeks now and have felt the same exact way about having to go alone. The ultrasounds are the worst because you just want to share your joy with a lived one. Luckily I get one last ultrasound and they have made the restrictions slightly less so I’m able to bring my mom strictly only for the ultrasound then she has to go back to the car but I’ll take it.

My kids are older. I went lots of my prenatal appointments by myself. I never thought it was a big deal. If you have a high risk pregnancy or you think somethings wrong that might be different if you’re just having a normal pregnancy to take like what 10 minutes

In MI only patients are allowed in building. My partner couldn’t attend my gender revealing ultrasound!! We had to do live video chat and it was not the same. He will be allowed in delivery room, so thank goodness(1 person only). Try video chatting with your girls, drs should he fine with it.

I’m currently pregnant and I go alone to my appointments. My husband cant be there for the appointments because of work (he works out of town) and I always tell him how they go. He also may not be able to be there when the baby is born because of the COVID rules and working out of town. I hate that he gets to miss out but I know that he’s working and we’ve discussed what I’m suppose to do if he isn’t there.

You can do it. And I understand completely, it is sad but you are strong and can do it. Even if corona didn’t prevent visitors you can still do it my mom in heaven and god always with me so I’m never truly alone. I’ve been to appointments and delivered twice alone.

It’s horrible right now! Not pregnancy related but I recently had surgery and my husband had to put me out on the damn corner and then come through some windows and down a line to pick me up like I was a damn Big Mac combo meal :roll_eyes:

I feel this post I’m 20 weeks along with my fourth and tired of not having my babies father in the ultrasounds even had to go through surgery alone

Hello i want you to know that you are highly welcome to my temple of solution. Since you have presented your problem here am giving you my full assurance that am going to help you, whats your full name whats your lover full name and where are you from?

I have this issue… since all this covid crap happened. I’m in cali an they wont let my other half in cause germs an stuff. So stupid. It’s our first baby an absolutely horrible experience…

I go to all of my appointments alone. Including my ultrasounds. My husband is not allowed to go to any of them.

I was alone for yrs but now find the most amazing man

So keep smiling hun u never know what’s around the counter

Me too! I feel this :100:! My husband hasn’t even been able to go to a single appointment or ultrasound. I’m high risk so I have one every other week. This will be my last pregnancy bc I’m getting up there in age and I don’t have healthy pregnancies, so tubes will be tied with this c-section. I had such high hopes for this pregnancy. We are a blended family, I have a 9 year old son, my husband has a almost 5 year old son, and this is our baby boy together, so I had hopes of our boys and husband going to some ultrasounds, and the boys being at the hospital when he comes. Now they will wait till we come home. And I have to chose between my husband and mom (we’re very close) to be with me at the hospital. I’ve been admitted 3 times for early labor and spent those nights/days all alone. It’s so depressing on so many levels. I’m now 33 weeks and having NST’s twice a week and ultrasounds every other week all by myself and I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my alone time with the baby, but being high risk I’ve had several scares and had to be all alone. Definitely not the way I wanted my last pregnancy. Keep your head up Mama!

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I’d given up finding someone especially coz I have a disability and found it hard to meet someone then out of the blue I meet my amazing man so I wish u all the best and never give up

For delivery have your 18 yo as your support person.

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Same here :frowning: my husband was only able to go to the 1st ultrasound at the very beginning. He was excited but hasn’t been able to go to anything else. He is very excited about it but it makes it more real for him being there and seeing the baby on ultrasound. I actually have a baby Doppler that I’ve occasionally used for him to hear our little boy’s heartbeat and this last time I requested a 4D picture print out of baby’s face. He was over the moon excited and in love. We try to stick to the positive side of it all. It’ll make their 1st time together extra special. Hang in there momma, you got your girls supporting you and I think it’s a beautiful thing that they be home waiting on you and baby. I’m torn apart just thinking about the hospital stay because I have 2 tots that I won’t be able to see until I get home from the hospital :frowning::pleading_face:

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I think it depends what state you’re in… my husband is allowed to go to ultrasounds with me and we are allowed to have 2 support people in the delivery now. But they just changed the support person requirement. The only way they let other people come to the OB office is if you are pregnant. Other than that, no one else is allowed.

I’m currently 30 weeks 5 days and I get it. my little ones do come to my regular on appointments because well they at 2.5 and 14 months and with all going on and my hubby being an essential worker, he can’t take off for all my appointments. That said I did all my appointments basically alone with both other pregnancies because the hubby couldn’t get the time off and during the births with my first I was lucky to have my mother with me( who has since passed) and with the second one of my closest gf’s was able to be their for me so the hubs could be with our daughter while mommy was away… is not easy to think about but, this time through I may be going it alone depending on circumstances. Stay strong, she will be here before you know it

I’m 18 and 35 weeks pregnant. I’ve had to go to every appointment alone and it breaks my heart that I only get one person in the delivery room and no visitors. I have no idea how to prepare or who even to pick to deliver with me.

I’m currently 32 weeks along and most of my appointments I have been alone, they will not allow others do to covid. I get annoyed because I want my boyfriend to be there since this is our first child. I think he is allowed in the delivery room as of now but its still scary because it can change at any time

It’s definitely hard not having my husband there for my appointments since he was there for everything with my first. COVID sucks. :frowning:

I have 3 kids. I’ve gone to every single ob appointment alone except for the first heartbeat check on my oldest. Never had an issue with it.

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What about an at home birth??

I’m 28 weeks along… I’ve been going to my appointments alone, I don’t have any issues with it… I will have my husband at delivery, I am actually very excited about no visitors… Just us :face_with_hand_over_mouth::grimacing::grin::blush:

All my kids came to ultra sounds and visits and tgey were each in the room when their younger sibling was born.
I prefer only my kids. Adults are too much drama. I like being single. Just breathe through it

I’ve been alone for all my appointments, currently 22 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby (I lost my 3rd baby at 13 weeks due to a partial molar pregnancy so being pregnant again is quite terrifying!) I’ve been taking videos of the Doppler sounds and sonogram to share with loved ones so that I don’t feel so alone. You can do this!

Thanks to covid we’re all kind of in the same situation right now, even those with partners. At least we can share pictures, news, and updates with loved ones at home.

Stay strong mama!! Here is my quarantine cutie born june 1st. It was hard going to the appointments alone because I was very high risk which made it even scarier. You should be able to have at least 1 support person for delivery. Maybe have your oldest be by your side! Prayers for a safe pregnancy and delivery! You got this!!

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Get on birth control.

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My husband isn’t even allowed at my appointments. Including ultrasounds. He is allowed with me if I have to go into labor delivery for issues and when I go into labor. Your 18 year old could be your support person when you go into labor. :woman_shrugging:t2:

I wanted to bring my 5 year old so bad to my weekly ultrasounds. She was so excited for the new baby. They did let me record the heartbeat but not the ultrasounds, but baby never showed her face. I have a 14,13,12,5, and 3 year old and now my 3w old. I didn’t mind being alone for pretty much all the important appts, just sad I couldn’t share it with my daughter who was so excited. But now my 5 year old wants to be a little mommy lol

Most of my appointments with my 4 pregnancies were alone…mostly for convenience because… I would make appointments really early to go in before work or school…I felt no need to have company unless it was a critical health appt or something :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Depending on where you’re located, there are places other than an OB office that offer ultrasounds, 3/D and 4/D if you pay for a more expensive package (around $95) and they usually allow one other person accompany you.

I always went alone for my appointments .Husband had to work even .My dad dropped me off at hospital when I was in labor and went to work and I had my daughter alone husband came after work he was out of town . I just had 8 chemo treatments that I did alone also . So you do what you have to do .

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My dr told me the same thing. They dont no what there talking about. Being alone your not. Your with your baby.

I don’t think any of these comments understand what she said. She won’t have support period. Not at appointments not at birth! She’s a single parent. She feels alone. I’m sorry that you are going through that. Unfortunately I think your choice if men is the problem. Seems like you’ve always been a single parent. I would consider tying my tubes. Or some form of birth control. Also chosing men that are worth your time might be good too. Good luck

Yeah I feel for you. I’m 18 weeks on Monday and it’s so sad sitting there alone, I’m worried about my delivery too as last wasn’t great. Even though my partner can’t come in he still needs the time/day off work to have our son as he’s 4 and not back in school yet. And I’m having to have extra appointments & scans. I think every expectant mother is feeling the same, it’s heart breaking xxxx

But if you HAD to being them with you and they are minors, wouldn’t that mean they’d be required to be back there with you vs alone in the waiting area? I’m so sorry that y’all have to go through it like this. This sucks!!

What about them being exposed to COVID-19 if they are at Dr with you?

With covid19 going on, it’s best you do go to appointments alone. Hopefully by the time you deliver, everything will be back to somewhat normal.

You could always look into a home birth and see if midwifes in your area are doing home visits.

Your 18 year old can be your significant other, ask if you can have one person with you… for appointments too

I had my son almost two months ago and it definitely was a birthing experience unlike my other friends. My fiancé was allowed to be with me in the delivery room and the mom/baby unit. He just wasn’t allowed to leave the property or he couldn’t come back in. We did have to wear masks (so weird during pushing) but I did it. I would check with your hospital policy, I would think at least your 18 year old could be with you? But I agree, going to drs visits alone was so sad. Hopefully by the time you deliver, things will have calmed down a little more. Stay strong mama :heart:

You got this momma. I have been alone my whole pregnancy because of this. And I am due in 12 days

You should video chat so they “can be there” with you :heart:

I was alone with all 4 of mine my 3 older kids dad worked when I had my appointments and my 4th well he isn’t in the picture at all even when he was he wasn’t take your older girls I took my kids to my ultrasounds they were all there when we found out I was having a boy :heart:

I was married and my husband(s) refused to attend appointments wit me. If there is no father involved, then so be it. Get over yourself.

Ur 18 yr old can b with u.

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I believe you can have 1 adult. Which your 18 yr old could be with you.

Yes I hate it. I really want my so to go with me one more time as he has only been able to go one time when we went to our first appointment our 4year old really wants to go to see a ultrasound of her bubba I’m 30 weeks so I’m nervous about how it’s going to go when it’s time to have him

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Why can’t your kids go with you? My doctor allows my one year old son in with me even at my Sonos he loves seeing his little sister one the screen

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I’m pregnant and have 3 children as well and both my regular OB and high risk doctor are not allowing anyone in due to those like myself with high risk pregnancy siblings or partners which I respect because I would not want any other complications than the ones I have now!

My man hasn’t been to any ultrasounds, expect the dating one, and I’m 36 weeks. :sob::sob: I’m so over this bullshit.
I’ll have my 4th ultrasound Tuesday (if I make it that far) and I’m hoping he’ll get to go in for that one :crossed_fingers:t2:

Well first of all if I got pregnant (which I wouldn’t but I’m 42 with 3 children ages 22 19 and 16) I certainly wouldn’t rely on my KIDS FOR prenatal support. So I’m not really understanding this post. Where is the Father? Isn’t that his job? But if you want your kids there as siblings and for some type of support…Why can’t they be there? Is it because of COVID or do they have other things going on. Post is a little vague. I’m confused.

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I think the concessions we all have to make because of Covid are getting old and we are all sick of it but it important to accept this is what we have to do. Covid is on the rise again.

Pregnancy IS preventable…

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I went to all ultrasound alone… and he didnt suported me much when i gave birth… and after he wasnt there for them… i know what youre going threw trust me its hard

Yup 33 almost 34 here and been going by myself since I was 22 weeks thanks to covid both my so and my son weren’t there when I found out the gender it’s lonely for sure

In the time of Covid, hospitals and clinics are just trying to limit the amount of traffic inside. I went through most of my prenatal appointments alone (COVID) when I had to be induced, my husband was allowed to be there but was not allowed to leave the hospital, if he left, he couldn’t come back. I had to labor and deliver while wearing a mask and wear a mask my whole hospital stay. It’s just where we are in the world, right now. Maybe you can FaceTime for ultrasounds and have your oldest as a support person for labor.

I was alone because of the virus, was not allowed to bring anyone.

I went alone alot… It’s just a thing I guess I don’t look into fiance worked I worked so it’s just a thing we did.

I feel u. But this makes u stronger showing ur kids no matter what u went thru mommy was there. I delivered 3 of my kids without their dad involved. I have 6 kids together. It made me stronger. Yes it sucks being alone but it will get better. Have faith and when ur baby comes u will never be alone.:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I went to almost all of my appointments alone even before this covid business and I’m happily married. It’ll be okay :heart:

I have always went to my appointments alone. My husband tries to attend the ultrasounds if he can, but sometimes its not possible. Most prenatal visits are boring and uneventful anyways. I would suggest finding a friend or your oldest daughter to go with you when you deliver. Its hard because we dont want to be alone during a vulnerable time so if you can find someone take them. Just remember it will be worth it in the end, and even if it doesnt seem like a joyous occasion now that baby will light up your world like your other 3 did

Oh my gawd. Get over yourself and be a biggy girl!

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I’m allowed just one person which is always my husband… safety reason my kids aren’t allowed to my appointments, or in the delivery room.

Stop having kids with deadbeats. Problem solved.
Maybe put this kid up for adoption.

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My entire 2nd pregnancy I was alone. My hub was involved but has a full time job. They barely let him off to be there for the birth.

I’m due in August and have been having to go alone since February, it sucks not having my husband with me, especially it being our first baby but it’s just the way things are right now. Thankfully I live in a very rural part of New England that isn’t highly populated so he will be able to be there for the birth.
A lot of healthcare workers are doing their best to be accommodating by allowing FaceTime an such, though. Try to focus on the good, there’s still plenty of it.

I’m married and I went to my appointments alone everytime. He worked. He was there when our boys were born. Going to appointments alone is the least of your worries… #4 & no father…why?

Last time i got pregnant i didnt want the baby father involved nor he did at the time so i had to ask my ex husband to be there for me. I know that not the best thing to do but i had no other friends to support me :woman_shrugging:. Plus we were still legally married so it was his duty :see_no_evil:

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A few friends have had babies during the lockdown (USA& UK) they all had partners during labour. You can chose one person be your birth partner, so you’re not gonna be alone. Maybe ask the older children to watch the youngest and get a friend to go to hospital with you?
Or, if your eldest wants to go to hospital with you ask the middle child to watch the youngest?

Have you looked into having a doula? You can have a doula for prenatal and post natal. It really is a great service and some insurances even pay for it.

I go to all of my appointments alone except the ultrasounds. If he wanted to, my husband could come to all the routine appointments, but I personally don’t see a need for him to do so, and he agrees. But that’s just me. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Stay strong!! I know its not the same as someone actually being with u but u can do a video call!!

Well you probably should of thought of this before hand…

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