I Am Unsure if I Should Go Out With My Neighbor and Her Daughter Due to Her Daughter's Behavior: Advice?

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QUESTION:

"Over the past couple of years, we have created a close bond with our neighbors. We have three children(1,5,8), and they have one child(5). They normally all get along for the most part. Anyways they will come over in the AM to play, and if one of the kids does something or says something the neighbor girl doesn’t like, she’ll tell her mom she wants to go home. Her mom will literally get up and walk back home with her. Her daughter does this all the time. I try my best to correct my children if it’s something rude. Sometimes the neighbor girl will get mad over something so little, and she’ll still want to go home. The neighbor girl does it all the time that my five-year-old will ask her if she wants to go home when she comes over to play… I try to tell her not to say anything, but she’s only five and does understand. Well, when we went over there today, my daughter wanted to ask if she could play. We went into the house, and she yelled, “get out! I don’t want you in here!” To my daughter. My daughter was so hurt by that and started crying. Her mom didn’t say anything to her daughter. If that was my daughter talking to another child that way, she would have gotten into trouble. The only thing her mom said was, “she kicked me out of the house too.” My issue here is we are supposed to be going to a waterpark together with the kids, and I’m just not wanting to have to deal with how her daughter acts towards mine. I want the trip to be nice and enjoyable, but I have a horrible feeling about going. My husband doesn’t think I should go. What do you guys think? I don’t want to ruin our relationship because we literally live right next to each other."

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Sounds like a conversation needs to be had between you and your neighbor. I would be upset if someone let their child blatantly disrespect my kiddo. I have an only child that is 5 but there’s no way I would let her go around being mean to other kids. Kids will be kids and not perfect but the mom needs to try to reign her kid in."

"If you have a bad feeling about going, I wouldn’t go. You could always tell her something came up. Just because they are your neighbors doesn’t mean you guys have to be buddy buddy either."

"“Hey, something came up and we cant go to the waterpark such and such day. Maybe another time!” And that's that!"

"Don't go and cut contact I wouldn’t let anyone disrespect my child like that and I wouldn’t be friends with someone who won't correct their child"

"If you are not comfortable don’t go, just say something came up. Maybe limit interaction with them. And if they come over it’s sounds like they don’t stay long cause the daughter always wants to leave. You guys can be friendly without always having to do things with one another."

"Nope! If she can not maintain control of her daughter at home, public events will be worse. I’d politely decline and tell her maybe some other time. Hopefully, once school starts, the girl will learn to have better play skills"

"If your not comfortable totally fine for you not to go, don’t put yourself in that position. I know kids are kids. But as a parent, you get to choose what's appropriate for your kids"

"If her behavior is that bad around just a couple of people, it will only be worse in a large group."

"I definitely wouldn’t go her mom needs to know her daughter's behavior isn’t cute and the problem will only get worse the older she gets."

"I wouldn’t go. Mom isn’t correcting the rude behavior and doesn’t seem like she ever will. That’s not ok"

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