If you have any reservations at all, you shouldn’t move in together. Especially with teenagers who are likely to rebel if another authority figure steps into the picture. I’m sure he might be hurt if you don’t jump at his offer to take that next step and move in together, but now is the time to be honest and tell him that while you like him very much, you aren’t ready and you’re pretty sure the kids aren’t either. Tell him that you’re happy with things as they are. If that’s a dealbreaker and he’s not willing to settle for that for now, then maybe he isn’t right for you to begin with.
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Don’t do it!!!
Not until those feelings are gone and you are full of excitement !
Not only could you potentially set yourself up for disaster and your children…but you could very well screw him up too.
Then he will be putting up a post like this lol minus the DV
It ok to be scared but when u are panicking its just not time.
Its still only 2.5yrs together give yourselves some time and date
Best of luck Mama xo
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I honestly don’t even sleep in the same bed as my husband just because he snores/farts are so bad! It’s OK! It’s not a failed relationship, personal space is a pretty big deal. As long as there is still lots of love when you see him the finer details don’t matter. Maybe ask the kids how they feel about it since they will be living with him also?
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You’re probably not ready to move in with someone. Twenty years could go by and you still might not be ready. But rest assured, when you know a person is definitely for you, you won’t even hesitate. 
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I mean I need my own bed to sleep in… I can’t fall asleep next to my guy… plus he snores so it wakes me. So we sleep separately in sane house. You gotta do what works for you. It doesn’t mean you dint care or want intimacy or date but it means that your just not ready for next step. Plus ur kids would prob be displeased with ur choice of you. Moved in with him . Another boss figure can stir potty. , not to mention any changes that.come with the new person.
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I’ve been in the same situation. I’ve truly never been independent in my own most my life. Was in a marriage over 20 yrs that was all messed up and a very bad abusive relationship after that. I finally got my independence and I’m the happiest I have ever been. I’ve been in a couple more relationships where they wanted to live together but I came to far to own my own place and car and will never ever give that up or have someone come in and take that from me. Honestly if I desire companionship then all I could possibly do was seeing them couple times a week because I love my space and freedom more than anything. Dont feel bad for being at peace and doing what you want with your life. It’s amazing to be able to do that. Be honest with them and dont bend how you feel and what you do for anyone else. Enjoy your life thats why you were given it to begin with.
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First things first, have a conversation with your significant other so that he’s aware of how you’re feeling, if you haven’t already done so. Then I would suggest testing the waters, slowly. Start spending more and more time together, start having him stay over more and more and see how it feels for both of you. I know you’ve become comfortable in the way things are for you, and that’s amazing after coming from a DV situation, but a relationship is about compromise. If he wants more, try for more, take it slow and see how you feel.
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Unless you feel totally peaceful about it, follow your feelings. Your kids need you right now and in a few short years they will strike out on their own. Stay peaceful. Listen to your gut.
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I think you’re happy as it is now.
You asking if it is OK, tells me that you have reservations. I would not go there
Don’t with teens— save yourself trouble
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Have you talked to a therapist? That could help resolve your lingering feelings of fear. Also don’t give up your place, have him move in with you. That way if down the road things change you can just kick him out
Better listen to Judge Judy and don’t do the playing house!
Move in when your ready
Do not do it!!! 1. You are definitely not ready . 2. If you do it will be just to please him .
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Women’s intuition. I’d wait, and your partner should be understanding.
Protect your space and peace! If things are going great do not rush them because he is upset. All you can do is explain to him your feelings and tell him it’s not an option right now maybe in a year. Work towards the goal of being together in your a space y’all pick and move into together, not his current house or yours.
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I say you don’t move in.
If you decide to move in, make sure you have a private space to retreat to that is all yours. And make sure when you say you wanna be alone for peace, that means he stays away too.
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Tell him exactly that. If he’s as good as you think, he’ll understand. Keep your own places and just live as you are. Communicate online or over text. See each other on days you’re up for it.
If you were meant to live with him you wouldn’t feel uneasy.
Besides, don’t uproot your kids for that. Let them have their own home.
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i think that if you don’t think “yes let’s do it” straight away then you should wait, it sounds like you’re not ready to live with him and that’s absolutely fine.
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If unsure don’t do it
Go for peace and if he really cares he will wait until the teenagers have left home
Follow your heart. If he’s the right one, he’ll understand, and maybe in the future you will feel more comfortable about the idea of changing living arrangements. If he’s not the right one, then nothing will be lost.
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If you’re not 100% sure that it’s what you want, don’t do it. You have more at stake than he does. It’s not just you moving. Where you go your teens go. If it doesn’t work out, than you and your children will be uprooted for a 2nd time. It’s much easier for 1 person to move than it is for you and the kids. Why not have him move in with you on a trial basis. Let him see first hand what living with teens is like. If he can’t handle it, he can easily go back to his place. If it works out, than the 2 of you can decide together whether you stay at your place or move to his.
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Don’t do it you worked too hard to get where you are.
Is he pressing you? Don’t do it until you’re ready.
Tell your partner that last part. Just say you’re not ready right now.
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My mom is the same way with men . She likes her space and is cool just seeing you a few times a week. She’s open with her man about it . They lived together for a year when they first got together , then she said she wanted her own place and to be single and she broke up with him now they have separate houses and are back together and she’s open about her feelings and he accepts it
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Don’t do it! Stay as you are xx
I would explain the situation and ask him to slow down and take your time. I was in a similar situation. If he truly loves u he would respect this and take the time until u felt ready and comfortable and not push it
Do what’s best for you. But you also need to be COMPLETELY honest with him. He also needs the opportunity to do what’s best for him. Don’t give him a false hope of something you’re not ready to give. If he wants a more committed relationship let him go so he can find it in someone else.
You have to be all in how old are your kids? Does he have kids?
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Go with your gut. The only reason to do it is financial I wouldn’t. In my experience living with a bf always cost me more then living alone. Yeah things get spilt evenly in the beginning but then a job gets lost, his kid needs something, car breaks down etc. I end up picking up the slack “temporarily” & it becomes be paying everything. I got an eviction once because he refused to pay his half & couldn’t pay it all.
Be honest with him though. Don’t make him think that once you get past whatever obstacle you’ll move in together. Tell him what you told us. You’re independent, like your space & don’t want to change your kids lives.
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Did you ever go through therapy to help you work through your trauma? Has this man ever given you a reason for you to feel panic now? If you truly just don’t want to live with him explain that. But he may be wanting to move in and get married and if that’s not what you want you owe it to yourself and him to be honest about that.
Be honest with him and explain like you did on here. Maybe start with weekends at his house for you and your children so he sees how day to day with teens goes. Then add a day or two throughout the week. Just take baby steps until you’re certain that you do, or don’t, want to move in with him.
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Don’t do it. Stay at your home.
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I don’t see where it behoves you to move in with someone unless you want to get married. You give up your own place and freedom without gaining much
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Now explain to him what you just told us and have a meaningful conversation with him about the issue.
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I wouldn’t give up my home! That’s my safe space, my sanity, it’s just mine and if things go south then you’ve given up yours and your kids home. And what do the kids think? Plus you don’t really want to do it, so don’t!
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I was on my own for almost 10 years, got used to enjoying my own company and having my own space. I’ve been in my current relationship for 3 years and that’s how we roll, I have my space, he has his space and we see each other every other weekend, works great, no pressure. Not to say it would never happen in the future, but it will happen if it’s meant to happen, and there should be no guilt about it. People don’t make good choices that way. Just be honest with him, all you can do.
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That’s not a partner that’s a bf on your terms
Do what makes you feel comfortable.
As you survived DV, learned to be on your own, are independent and enjoy your freedom, you sound like there is still a blockage from your past that is coming into play. My suggestion would be to seek therapy. For yourself and maybe family therapy for you, your teens and your partner. It will help you enormously to work out what you need to do, how to make the changes you need to make and to see if you are self sabotaging and why if you are. But the family therapy can help you all share and build a stronger unit together and work together for an even better life together. Wishing you all the best!! 
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Your concerns come first which is best for everyone
Don’t forsake your own comfort to appease anyone!!!
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Don’t do it!!! The way you feel, don’t do it.
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When in doubt the answer is no.
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Just be honest with him,
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Wait for kids to move on, then reassess
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Watch a movie with her called “blood diamonds”. … If I’d seen that before… I would not have ever wanted or accepted any diamond
Do what you feel is right. Don’t get guilted into anything you don’t want/aren’t ready for.
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I too escaped and survived a DV. It’s like that. Especially when you have so much going on and not enough time to process or even having trouble processing some things honestly. You at least get to a point where you and your kids are surviving and doing well enough. You realize a lot of the problem of staying where you were at was they usually in so.e way end up making you at least feel like you’re dependent on them as is your survival. You don’t like outside people at least to be in your bubble too often because your body is still in survival mode. Your home is your sanctuary and the thought of having to share that with someone else…you may still be in survival mode in some ways. I know I was for a while. My company moving most of us to work from home was a blessing for me. I was doing customer service. So I still had to interact with people on the phone all day 5 days a week. But I was not surrounded by people physically. I spoke with managers and they understood what I was going through. Especially when in CS because you are sometimes dealing with some very angry people lol. So they found me another position where I am an internal employee and usually in the extremely rare times I have to call a customer, it’s because I’m there to save the day for them lol. This helped a lot to get that time I needed to heal and work on some things. If you are not already, I would say try speaking with a therapist. I grew up with one and took some psychology classes. Plus with my beliefs we have what we call shadow work. We go inward to trace things at their root and heal those things. Which is what worked for me. I guess in a way I was my own psychologist 
For me it was realizing and identifying the things my ex said and did that should have been red flags and tracing back to why I was seeing red flags like “Ooooooo…look…a carnival ride!” only to find out it was the most painful and scary and dangerous, in my case it was physical too, ride to be on. Once I saw it…I would look for those things popping up while interacting with people. Then ask myself and be honest with my answer " Am I being triggered, or is this really a red flag?" I got better over time and honestly ended cutting out a LOT of people from my life and began setting clear boundaries. Including family. Even my own mom. My only living parent. I still do these things. I know I have to be patient with myself. You will get there when you are ready. I would suggest maybe a very deep conversation with your boyfriend about this all. This can be a test…is he really showing empathy? Is he being openly understanding? Is he communicating and willing to follow your lead on this while honestly holding space for you? Or…is he repeating patterns from the abusive ex. Kind of like movies that copy one another plots and script with their own twist is the only way I can think of explaining it. Look at it as if you were on the outside looking in without any attachment to the outcome. Like it was you watching your best friend and tell yourself what you would tell her. It may help you to see if it is you and what you prefer at this time, or if your intuition/gut/subconscious is picking up a pattern you should be concerned with. Good luck. Stay stron.strong. you got this.
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It sounds like you answered your own question. You’re not comfortable with it yet and don’t want to devote your time to a live-in relationship right now.
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Explain to him how you feel. Honestly unless you guys are talking marriage there’s no reason to move in together in my opinon
Could he move in with you ?
Or on weekends you could go and stay at his place
Keep your own space I’d say
Stay in your own place, don’t uproot your kids school, peace , for a man you only see twice a week… enjoy your space and home with your kids…last thing you need is to be walking on eggshells within a week…with a man who now wants quite, space and his own chips. Food on the table by 4 and washing his dirty laundry…stay put.
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If you’re not ready don’t do it. If he truly loves you and is the one meant for you he will understand and support you any way he can. Just be honest with him in how you feel and explain it’s not really about him at all, its how and what you need to be happy and safe right now.
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Lol read ur post my friend …u answered ur own question!!
If you’re panicking at the thought then it’s definitely a no. You lose a lot when you cohabitate.
I have been a widow for 42 years Love it. Take your good old time and be sure
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Move him in with y’all. That gives you the security and control you need after the past. You can kick him out if it doesn’t work and still have YOUR home. Just do what your heart says feels right. Nobody can fully advise you. Only thing I can honestly say: as a victim of extreme DV, at some point you have to trust again. Just do it on YOUR terms
Sounds like you need to heal, and nothing wrong with liking your own space. Maybe moving closer to each other but your kids come first. Best of luck to you.
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I wouldn’t move-in with anybody. I don’t even want to marry again. I’ve been married for 39 years to the same man. That’s enough for me. I don’t approve or think it’s wise to go from man to man. Especially, if you are raising children, it is a very bad example. How many mistakes are you going to make with men? Marital vows or nothing.