I am unsure if I should send my son to daycare...advice?

My son just turned 4, he’s potty trained, can count to 30, knows his ABCs and numbers by sight, can dress himself pretty well. He can do all the things that are required to start preschool basically, heres the issue, for some reason he’s extremely emotional about being 4 and going to school. He will cry until he makes himself sick if anyone mentions that he’s 4 or that preschool is starting soon, he says he wants to stay 3 forever and not get older. I think this comes from a grandpa he was close to passing away this summer.Because of this my mother thinks I shouldn’t force him to go to preschool she says just because he can do everything doesn’t mean that he’s emotionally ready. This is my first and only child, I want to do what’s best for him and I’m scared of forcing him to go I’m also scared of him missing out this year and I’m not sure what to do and registration is next week. Does anyone have any input or experience they would like to share to help make my decision?


My kids didn’t go to preschool and are totally fine. They were all exceeding expectations around 3 but just weren’t ready for the real world yet, which I understand. I started mine in kindergarten and skipped preschool. Also, I have always had my kids in daycare and they thrive because of it.

As a former preschool aide, I promise he will get use to it. The first few days or even weeks might be rough. But once he learns the routine and realizes mommy will be back. He will be okay

I was forced to grow up sooner than I wanted in every way for my entire life. He will survive the delay. Give him the solace he is asking for💙

My son was the same way and it was hard to send him but after a couple days he loved it!

Could you maybe go with him a couple days? He may just be scared. But once he sees how awesome it is, he will love it!

I would put him in school it can’t hurt to try it and him being an only child I would put him in preschool so he can get that interaction with other children that he needs those social skills are important. I didn’t put my first daughter in preschool Early and I wish I would have But that’s just my experience It might be hard at first but he will start to enjoy it

Mine didn’t like it either but they got used to it once they got into the routine of it. They realized there’s other kids there. Also it helped prepare them for kindergarten far as having a routine, being social with other kids, be somewhat independent, and learn. First day of kindergarten for the both of mine they were excited and didn’t fuss because they were used to it. Fast forward to now they fuss about having to go to school lol.

Good luck momma!! Won’t be easy but he’ll get used to it may take some time but it’ll happen.

He needs the social skills. He will be fine.

My almost 4 year old is the same way, he “hates daycare” but is super excited about school, as he gets to go school shopping and pick out all his own stuff, maybe try to make it fun for him, let him pick out his stuff, and talk to him about all the friends he’d going to make?

My daughter was the same way and was a little upset for the first 2 weeks but once she got to know all her new friends and got comfortable she ended up LOVING school… she couldn’t wait to get there after the 1st couple weeks :blush:

Go with him at first till he gets the idea of it

If you are able to let him stay home, do it. He’ll be in school long enough as it is. Enjoy all the time you can with him.


My 1st born didn’t do preschool and kindergarten was so hard for him socially. They need those social skills they build in preschool.

Honestly, I wanted to hold my son back a year. My hand was forced and he went on time, he struggled a bit but I don’t regret it.

It could be some kind of social anxiety. Maybe try some books and videos about entering preschool and all the friends he’ll make and activities he’ll get to do

What about maybe going on a tours of preschool and see what you guys think. You can always hold back a year too.

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It will do him good to go to preschool yes he might be upset for a day or so but he will end up loving it there cause of all the fun stuff they do and he will make friends and preschool helps when they go to normal school

My son was the sameway once he got to school and made friends he was fine he also started when he was 3 . My daughter just finished preschool so attached to me first few days were rough . Then she didn’t wanna miss a day with all the friends she had made . Go with your gut don’t let anyone try to make you feel bad about your choices

He can wait another year. It is common for boys to start later

I ran a private and had one little boy whose mother felt he wasn’t ready for school so she kept him in daycare. 12 years I attended my sons graduation from high school and the little boy was graduating at the same time. He won so many awards I lost count. Mom knew best.

Luv only you can decide what is best for your child, if you want to wait then wait, it doesn’t make you a bad person it makes you a mother. Some children need a little more time and that is ok! See if maybe your area will allow you to bring him for a day let him see what the other kids are doing and go from there. Even if you have to be the shadow in the room until he forgets you are there​:heart::face_holding_back_tears:.


As a Preschool teacher, social-emotional skills are way more important than academic skills. Kids can always learn more material, but it’s a lot harder for them to learn how to problem solve, share and work independently if they don’t get the chance.

Spend some time at library our library has story time LEGOS computers go to playground let him run jump play with other kids preschoolers most valuable experience is socializing and please go with your maternal gut

They will work thru all that, and also at age 4 he needs interaction with other kids. Bless his heart .

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Im pretty sure pre school is for kids who need to learn and for parents who work.If hes that emotional I woudnt do it.It would be too traumatic for him and could hurt him in the long run.But thats just my opinion.

You can sign him up for part time preschool.
Preschool is more than just numbers and letters.

With him being the only child. He NEEDS the child to child interaction.
He might have anxiety caused by the unknown.

You will see him blossom once he starts at either a daycare center or preschool.

Good luck mama!


Personally I would wait, I waited for my daughter my son is a year ahead you’ll just know and it’s ok if he’s not emotionally ready yet, he maybe needs more emotional comfort tools to learn. Some are just not ready and it is no reflection of their intelligence

He will love it once he gets in the schedule of it. My grandson, was the same way and he loved his 1st year of preschool. This is his 2nd year and he’s ready to go!!

OK I was like this and skeptical of sending my girl’s. It makes it easier to meet the teacher and take him to a class to introduce him to where he will be. Where he will play and when he will come home. It will reassure him that going to school will be ok. He can take a beloved toy to keep him comforted too. It will be ok. Eventually he will like it.

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Sometimes boys benefit from starting later and being older in class. But yours has the academic chops to start now.

See if you can meet the teachers & other staff and tour the school and playground in advance to ease his fears. That helped me & my daughter immensely. She still fondly remembers “Miss Monique,” and my daughter’s over 30! Can you find another student to introduce him to so he will know someone else in the class? Before classes begin, make a couple of trial runs to the school, look around, say hi to anyone there and go home. Once you take the mystery out of it, it won’t be so scary.

Tell the teacher about his apprehension and see if he can take a favorite stuffy with him for comfort. That said, most kids have trouble when mom leaves, making you think that they are going to be miserable all day, but once the door shuts you’d be surprised at how quickly the tears stop and they get engaged with activities. Transitions are hard for many of us, but most preschools are prepared for this. Preschool is learning social skills, following directions and being comfortable trying new things, not just academics.

We did not do daycare but we just turned four and are doing preschool so we can get ready before kindergarten and get into that routine etc. Make some friends.
If your kid is making decisions like this, you’ll be screwed for life so ultimately this is your decision and you go with what your heart says. He probably will have a blast. You could always start, and if it ends up being a disaster after a few months, then you can pull out. 

Sometimes kids mature emotionally later than others but if he has never been exposed to other kids in a group setting like that it might be good to introduce it or kindergarten might be really hard for him. Otherwise he may be a kid who needs an extra year at home to mature. You are his mom and know him best…you will make the best decision for him.

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A good preschool will help you work through this, and should be expert at aiding your son through transition. There are times that it simply doesn’t work, and taking a break is warranted, but that’s pretty rare at 4.

Your mother is right, though, that emotional readiness is a key component to early learning. Social emotional growth should be a major focus of an excellent pre-school. Visit as many as you can, and look for a place with a play-based learning model.


Talk it up to him about how fun it will be and how many new friends he will make. Most kids cry or are upset with change but it is definitely worth pushing them to go and they won’t even remember the anxiety or fear of change. He will have so much fun that he will adapt pretty quickly. He is used to you and it is a big change but so worth it for kids to learn and they also prepare them for kindergarten which is great also in the long run.


My daughter is about to be 5 but GA law states she has to be 4 by September 1st and their are no exceptions and her birthday is September 10th. So she will be starting school soon at almost 5. I can tell by her behavior that she really craves needing friends and a school structured environment for her to grow. She’s my first baby and i wish there would have been a way for me to get her in sooner for her developmentally speaking

my son never went to preschool and he’s 4 starting kindergarten in sept and he’s super excited, i would try the preschool but if hes super upset crying about it daily , he may not be ready emotionally, there’s nothing wrong with signing him up and seeing how it goes, if he’s still not enjoying it you can always pull him out and try again next year, no problem, whatever you feel is best for ur child …


If it’s your choice and not due to work. Then keep him with you and enjoy this time Mama with your little. Even as they get older go with your gut, won’t fail you!

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My child would be at school. It’s normal to be scared to do new things. I would explain to the teacher the situation but my child would be at school learning social interaction.


He needs to go he will love it when he does.

I think he needs it by the sounds of it! Because next year when it’s time for school, you wont be able to keep him home, so i think with all the anxiety he has now is the time to get him to socialize


Maybe call the school. Explain what’s going on and ask if you can come in with him and do a walk through classrooms and such.

Well , as a parent sometimes you will have to “ force “ your kids to do things they do not want to , that’s a part of the deal .

Most children adjust to daycare in a week or two. it will be the hardest on you leaving while he’s crying but do it. He’ll be fine

Never make him go that young! They already go long enough through their life!

If he’s not ready, he’s not ready. My biggest mistake was sending my child to school “on time”. She was socially unready and even went to T-1 (a grade in-between kindergarten and first) because school was so stressful. No matter the interventions, not following her social and emotional readiness really made life difficult. Yes she could do and even excell at the work, but she never once learned how to have a friend or fit in. It’s my single greatest regret as a mother.

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I waited a year and was none the worse. Maturity has a lot to do with it. If not ready, not ready


Back in my day in the community we lived in there were no preschools or daycares . I wish there had been it would have helped me so much .
Because I had to start 1st grade not knowing anything . I didn’t know my numbers letters or colors . My mother just wasn’t into teaching me anything .
But I know your baby already knows those things .
I think I cried everyday in 1st grade . Trying to get my things answered correctly . The teacher was old and mean . I finally caught on and learned but it was hard . My mother did not know I was having such a hard time until I told her when I was about 60 yrs old .
I would say get him in there if you can . Be a shadow for couple days . When he makes a special friend he’s gonna be doing so much better and will love going and participating in all the activities they do.

Are there half days to start with? Or not every day? Just to get him into it then after the new year go full time?

Personally, I believe that any child over the age of 3 should be in some form of preschool or daycare to get them used to the change for when they start kindergarten. It’s much easier while they’re younger because once school starts they’re already used to the routine of going and being away from mom and dad. It will be hard for the first little while, but with consistency and patience he will get used to to it. And he will thrive! They learn SO MUCH in preschool, and not just educationally. They learn to be independent, confident, they make friends so the social aspect is wonderful too. It’s hard for all of us to be apart from our babies, but in my opinion it’s what best for him. Be strong mama, you got this!


Honestly preschool is not required so I think you’re ok. My daughter is going to be 4 next month, and she’s gonna go to preschool starting next month, but it’s cause she needs it. She didn’t even start talking until January. Just keep working with him so he’s ready for kindergarten next year

My son had to be ripped from my arms every day of preschool at 4. I feel your pain mama


Talk to him about his grandpa, how he went to pre-school and how his grandpa is always watching him from heaven, and how proud he would be. :heart:

take him to a few classes to show him how much fun it will be. If he still can’t handle it remove him so as not to traumatize him. Not everyone is ready at 4. My 3rd was the youngest in her class all through school. My 4 couldn’t wait till the time came and her sisters all came home looking for her. She got so scared she was hiding in the garden shed.

Give him another year. Obviously hes not ready.

I wouldn’t make him sounds like he is learning good at home give him another year.

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How is Daycare different from Preschool? He is probably afraid of being a big boy and going to school because everyone is making it into a thing. If he’s at home with you and learning to read and write then maybe but actually if it’s just socialising in some form of organised structure, he needs to understand that preschool or K isn’t any different.

Talk to the school administrator tell her the problem. She may let him visit a day or two. You stay close but out of site so if things go bad you can rescue him. Talk more about new friends and less about schooy

I would talk to preschool teacher and see what she says

Change is scary for lil ones
I’ve had a daycare for 30 years ,

You might encourage him with a big boy milestone

Good luck and there is no perfect answer every child is different .

Your mom you know your baby better than anyone , do what makes sense to you .

I would continue him in a social daycare setting until he is 6 years old…that is what we did with our son, and it made a world of difference in the long run.

After a little bit he will get used to it

Preschool is not a requirement,I personally believe that school is pushed too soon on kids,a lot of little guys aren’t emotionally ready.I feel he’s proving that all ready,mho he should skip.it this year

He will only be this little once. Look how fast the first 4 yrs have gone by. I would not send him. What benefit will he gain from it? Be forced at 4 to learn that mom won’t always be there? I mean this with love, doll. I have 7 children, 7-27. I have done it all the different ways. There is zero benefit to him going to pre school, he sounds like he learns well enough at home, so he doesn’t need that. And emotionally he sounds like this summer was traumatic for him. And he needs to feel safe and secure. Spending time with him, giving lots of hugs and reassurance. Maybe learning a little about why grandpa passed, so he can see that not everyone is going to just disappear. I’m sorry he’s feeling this way. He’s just sounds scared. I would not send my child if they were feeling that way. You cannot get this time back. Take advantage of every single second with him. :purple_heart:

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They all cry leaving the nest but the end up loving preschool. I had two grandkids that I took last year and they miss their preschool so much. He will be fine, the preschool teachers know how to handle this.

I would send him to prek for half days for the social aspect or starting kindergarten is going to be a horrible culture shock and he won’t be emotionally ready at all

Little people have big big feelings. Maybe talk to the daycare you’re interested in and do a trial day, see how he goes? One of my children went to daycare, one stayed home and one went to family daycare. Every child is different. But all you can do as a parent is present opportunities and go from there. School could be really wonderful for him, or it may be the wrong time, but you won’t know unless you try. Our centres always offered a trial day or transition week to let kids get a feel for it all. Some others don’t like doing that but for me that was important to see if it was the right environment for them

I’ve had my kiddo in daycare for 2.5years and she starts kinder this school year. She’s an only child, I did it for multiple reasons but the primary being I had to work and she needed the socialization with other kids her age. I can’t teach her how to interact with kids her own age, sharing with other kids, making friends, etc. the daycare also had a preK program within so once she hit certain milestones was able to move up to the PreK class. She excelled in the preK class. Did very well with class work and learning lessons and took a bit to understand the structure due to it being different than at home. There were some lessons we learned and that I had to help teach about appropriate behavior towards teachers and basically toddler conflict resolution lol :joy: but it’s the best thing I could have done. Her first 6months there she didn’t talk and was so quiet they thought she was physically incapable of talking, now chatter box and a half, using words I didn’t know she knew, and seeks out as much information and knowledge about things she likes. She cried at drop off every day or awhile but as soon as I left and she couldn’t see my car anymore she was fine. Teachers send me a whole video of her crying and watching me leave and then ring completely fine as soon as I pulled away. The best things for your kids sometimes are gonna pull at your mom heart but it’s ok. Be strong.

No he doesn’t have to go to pre-k. See if there are any homeschool co-ops in your area and introduce friends that way.

Probably needs preschool to learn to Socialize with other children. Maybe do half days like 2 to 3 hours a day. Probably will go full day Kindergarten so no need to push that if you are a SAHM.

Listen to your mom, he is bright enough but needs to learn to interact with other kids and function with distractions.

Send his ass to school. He’ll get over it real quick

Kids don’t need preschool

You might try going to the daycare without him and explaining to them his situation. Then on the next trip to the daycare, bring him but do not tell him it’s a daycare .Go in sit down let him see what’s going on. He might want to interact with the kids and the toys and if he does, he might like it and that might be a beginning for you. The next time he goes, you might sit there for a while and see how he reacts and if he wants to stay let him stay he doesn’t know what day Care is so it’s hard to say he doesn’t want to go there.

I never went to pre-school and was an honors/AP student from 4th grade all the way to high school graduation :woman_shrugging: I’d continue to work with him at counting, learning to write his own name, etc. I read a lot every night and practiced things on a small chalkboard. I will say, however, I had severe anxiety about being away from home for that many hours in Kindergarten and it continued for 4 years. If he’s already anxious maybe it’s better to work that out in pre-school instead of Kindergarten. You really know your kid best

Maybe get him to try a couple of days at first. He may have a security issue with grandpas death.

Back in the day we didn’t send our kids to preschool as most of us were stay at
Home mothers. All my children did very well going straight to kindergarten. Didn’t hear of problems with my friends kiddos having problems either. Of course they did all play together in the neighborhood so they did have a lot of interaction with other kids.

When is his birthday. Is he younger than the other children. He may not be emotionally ready for school. Can you find a Mother’s Day out or a program that is a couple of days a week? You say daycare then school. There is a big difference in the two.

He needs to be around other children, And it will be harder next year