Hey mamas! I have a weird question to ask your opinion on. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. I’m a bigger women and he is a more fit guy. That’s how it was when we met, but I’ve definitely gained weight over the years after our daughter was born. I enjoy watching 600 pound life especially the where are they now segments for the happy ending part. My boyfriend was making all of these comments about the show to me the whole time. I was eating a snack and I SWEAR he gave me a look like “you’re going to be the next person on here.” He didn’t say anything directly aimed at me, but it just felt like he was hinting at my weight. I’m too embarrassed to ask him because even if my feelings are valid, he will blow it off like he didn’t say or look at me like I’m thinking. Should I confront him or just let it go? I’m actually on track to get the bariatric surgery soon, but my confidence is so bad! Do you all think it was just me being self-conscious? It sucks i can’t even watch a show without my insecurities coming out! Ughhhhh
I think your all in your head and you know what needs to be done for yourself so you think everybody else see it too. I cannnn say, our bodies as women change over the years and after having kids, so we have to put in the extra work to keep ourselves up. Its okay to feel sad but its better to do what you need to do love 
. You will be strong and confident soon! Then we have to learn to take criticism in relationships its what makes it better.
Maybe you just thought he was thinking that? If he loved you then I am sure he loves you now!
It’s probably more in your mind than him
Harsh as it sounds he’s said nothing too you. It sounds like maybe your not happy in yourself and you’re conscious possibly on how he sees you now as from when met. Talk to him though as you should be able to talk in a relationship.say how you’re feeling
You’ve been with him for 5 years, through child birth………SPEAK UP! You need him to be a support system esp if surgery is near. Taking steps to better your health will go a long way! Your confidence will thrive and hopefully shove out that self doubt. Remember you are beautiful no matter what!
U can’t possibly know what he was thinking so just let it go! Why start an unnecessary fight? If he didn’t like u he would Leave. But he is still there, right?
Since you didn’t clarify what was actually said, it definitely sounds like you’re projecting a bit here. Those shows are designed to make people feel bad about themselves and it’s possible it may have gotten to you. It’s okay to have these conversations with your partner or even just tell them that you’re feeling self conscious, can they please tell you something they love about you, etc. Good luck momma, you got this 
It sounds like you’re the one thinking you’ll be the next person on this show, and you’re using your own insecurities to imply he thinks so about you. Don’t put words into his mouth, lol. You’re overthinking.
Has he ever actually commented on your weight or spoke down on your appearance? Like i could see you thinking that if he is a douche and regularly makes comments like that but if he’s never actually said anything negative about your looks/ appearance and has only ever been supportive then it def seems more like your projecting your own insecurities onto him. Best way to clear the air though is to communicate and not just accuse. His look could have meant anything
Maybe he was just wondering why you were watching that show? I mean you can’t assume that he was thinking something bad. But I would have a conversation with him about you wanting to lose weight and how you feel about it. It may prompt him to say something in response but you can more or less close the conversation with asking him to support you with this decision and to help you when you are ready vs letting your insecurities about yourself start an argument or assumption that he feels the same way as you do about your weight.
You might have been self conscious. You didn’t tell us what he said though. Personally I’d ask and gauge his reaction. If he seems calm and loving I would chalk it up to my anxiety. If he gets all defensive and tense I’d do my best to brush it off. After all he’s been with you this long, and you are working on your health and getting your body where you’d like it. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Perhaps you are seeing it as such based on your own self image? For all we know he was trying to figure out why yall watch that show, trying to understand why your interested. I often just give my guy a look when he has a show on and I’m not really into it. Would you rather he be on his phone, not spending time with you?
He literally looked at you lol. You sound like an overthinker
I know it’s hard. When I got pregnant and for 2 to 3 years afterwards I was BIG. Any time anyone even looked in my direction I got uneasy and self conscious 
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I promise if you put in the work and really get serious about your health and weight you won’t have that feeling anymore. It’s hard but the long term effects of being overweight are much harder. Believe in yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself just as much as anyone else. He very well may have had a negative thought cross his mind but it is really hard not to when it’s so blatantly there. If he did I’m sure it wasn’t with the direct intentions to make you feel bad. If he is health conscious and still with you, that really shows he cares a lot about you. Talk to him. Get serious about your health and ask for his support
You should look for bariatric surgery support groups. As a bariatric patient myself, I’ve lost 240lbs and it’s always good to be able to talk to others who have gone through the same things
He may not have meant it as an insult. He probably was thinking I can’t let my girlfriend let herself get that bad. If he loves you he’ll understand how you feel and will let you know your feelings are validated if not then you know where the door is. I used to be a bigger girl and was called every name out there about your weight but I said enough. I’m much smaller now but I have health issues that caused that. If your self conscious about it then try to eat healthy fruits and veggies when you get hungry for a snack. That’s how I started losing weight.
It’s hard to say from this. If it’s something you want clarity on, I would instead ask if he has an issue or concern with your current weight. It’s also worth noting, that you could drop a bunch of weight pretty quickly-by dropping anyone who would dismiss or invalidate your feelings.
Talk to him about it. He honestly could have just been talking about the show and any look he might have had wasn’t about you/aimed at you. You yourself just said your self conscious/insecure what you think he’s hinting at he really might not even be anywhere close to meaning.
I’ve watched afew episodes of that show with my man, we both make comments. I’m bigger- and have definitely gained weight since we got together. Sometimes I think his comments are aimed at me, but Ik they aren’t, it’s just me thinking to much into it. I’ve talked to him about it.
5 years, a child, and your still a girlfriend…hit the gym, I did you’ll love it!!! At least until my psycho ex decided to F with my car and membership, but stills I managed to keep 140 of the 170 pounds off that I lost.
I lose my appetite watching. It makes me really conscious of my food choices. Maybe he was wondering about that? I’m a big girl and it always makes me feel like I need to be more thoughtful about my food.
I am thinking it’s yourself that is putting thoughts into your head and that deep down you are realising that it’s time to do something about your weight .
That was definitely directed at you hon, tell him how it made you feel. I’m sorry. My husband started making remarks about my weight, he was also verbally abusive and occasionally physically abusive. I left him almost 2 years ago and ended up losing over 100 pounds in the following year lol
ETA… I thought he actually said that… I would brush it off since he didn’t actually say anything, just do you, lose the weight like you are planning… but focus on healthy, not your looks
Don’t ask him. Have the surgery and take care of yourself. He is still with you 
Let it go. It’s your own insecurity talking.
As a fit man, he may be a bit worried about you.
He probably did think that to be honest. We may still love someone that is just getting bigger and bigger, but no one wants to watch a loved one eat themselves into health problems - especially not someone that is thin and in shape.
Um men are visual. If you are not the same as when you got together then maybe he is very turned off. I would be turned off if my man gained weight with the big belly because that is not my cup of tea. Then again I don’t believe in for better or for worst.
If you are feeling bad about yourself than start doing something about it. I was 170 lbs in the beginning of may. I’m down to 134 as of today. I feel incredible, I feel beautiful, I feel stronger too because of the gym, I am mentally a lot more happier, and people are treating me better. You say your on track for bariatric surgery… why not start working harder on yourself now? It’s a lot easier to sit on the couch, eat snacks and watch tv. It’s a lot harder to work out, eat restricted, but it’s a lot more rewarding, you will feel so much better and with that build a hella lot of confidence. And eventually all your old habits will seem foreign.
Men say ignorant things sometimes, let it go but start working on yourself so you can be happier.
Married for 23 years my husband has seen me skinny size 8 to a size 18 after 3 kids not once has he even hinted about my weight … but when I was at my biggest in my head I throught he would make comments but it was my own brain telling me it’s time to do something about it guys don’t really care as long as they get the goods at night or morning they are happy … but if it’s starting to bother you then go out and do something about it
Don’t put on him what you are thinking yourself about being the next person on the show. You are telling yourself something you don’t want to hear or admit.
If he didn’t say anything then I would just let it go. Don’t put words in his mouth if he doesn’t say them. I’m sure he says plenty of dumb stuff without help 
.
You stated you were like that when you got together. That brings me to the conclusion that he doesn’t like super skinny girls, which many men share that same preference. I think he loves you for who you are, and your letting your insecurities get in your head sweetie.
Sometimes you put more meaning into what someone say because of the way you are feeling yourself. But I’d talk with him about how you feel definitely. Just my random opinion. Hope everything goes well if you have the surgery 
Try pretending you had the surgery and eat what they allow. Start exercising. I’d try naturally first. Surgery complications can come up years later. It killed Lusa Marie Presley.
I hope you are in counseling and have support groups… I know several people that have had that surgery and they have a lot of mental problems and still have insecurities even after loosing a ton of weight! I’m not saying that you will or do… I’m just worried that if you have them now… they will only get worse!
Most couples whose partners go through that surgery do not stay together! Those are know facts. You can look up research articles that will prove this! Also a very high rate of drug and alcohol abuse after the surgery!
I don’t think that I would worry about him… or weather or not he insinuated something… but worry about taking care of yourself! Make sure that you get your head right before you have it done!
I’m so sorry that your partner hurt your feelings… that should have never happened… but after reading your post a couple times… I am worried about you! Please take care of you!! I will be praying for you!!
I hate that you are feeling this way. I hate that anyone feels that way about themselves to the extent that they “hear” their own thoughts coming from loved ones.
Right now you are so down on yourself that it doesn’t even matter if he was thinking something or not. You are doing a helluva job beating yourself up on your own. Please, please give yourself some grace. You say you’re on track for bariatric surgery so you are aware of the issue and you are doing something about it.
What matters is that you are healthy and you do what you need to do to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life with (and for) your daughter. It matters that you set a positive example for your daughter in every way possible. That means being a healthy weight for you, having the energy/stamina to do the things you enjoy, and that you understand that “perfection” does not necessarily equal a six 6. Demonstrate the confidence you want HER to have in herself and continue to work to achieve your goals.
There’s no way for us to know if your boyfriend was body shaming you. To be honest, I’m not sure there’s any way for YOU to know because your internal dialogue is probably drowning out everything else. If he treats you with love and respect, try not to overthink it. And please, keep taking the steps you need to take to get yourself healthy both physically and emotionally because you deserve it
Maybe you are subconsciously uncomfortable with your weight?
Yes he looked at you side ways, caz htf would i know and I ain’t there
This may be your own conscious speaking. Gaining weight happens but I’d try to lose for your health.
It’s just you if he is not constantly making comments
Concentrate on your health and getting ready for surgery. You obviously understand that you have a weight issue, your confidence is low and you are self conscious atp enough to take steps to address it medically & surgically.
Dont go looking for a feel bad with the bf by projecting based on a glance or ’ look ’ because of how you feel about yourself.
He’s not blind and is aware of your weight issue, and is likely concerned about how it will impact you, the child and him …if it does not get under control soon… so asking him what you are considering…is just unnecessary catch 22 drama, where he’s damned if he does damned if he doesnt.
You wont believe him if he denies it and will be hurt if he admits to thinking it. He of course should not be undermining and contributing to your low self esteem rn about this, and it doesnt sound like he is however he cannot be expected to be your lone cheerleader and validator at all times, or be expected to tip toe around his fears and concerns about your health either as if it doesn’t exist.
Avoid assuming & projecting his thoughts and feelings based on your own insecurity, paranoia & fears.
Have an honest, direct conversation with him about your weight problem specifically, what you want to do about it, and ask for his support & help that you will need to reach your goals, which will be slow and difficult at times. He may open up about his concerns then as well at that time, and have some ideas about what changes you can make together for your family to that end.
With an issue like this, you would benefit greatly from therapy and supportive weight loss groups in your area…and online …for encouragement and community with others struggling with the same battle here.
Good luck.
Sounds like you’re projecting your own insecurities on him. I too enjoyed that show and went on to have gastric sleeve. It’s definitely harder than it looked! There is a strict pre-op and post-op diet. You HAVE to stick to it. A solid 4-8 weeks REALLY SUCKS. Idk how people over eat after because it is incredibly painful when you do. That being said, my only regret was not doing it sooner! Lost 100lbs and have had 2 more babies and kept the weight off for 4 years. My health is so great now I no longer have PCOS symptoms and was approved to be a surrogate. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and fulfilling a dream of mine 
. Definitely join a barbaric surgery support group! Your surgeon will probably have one of their own!
You want to know if his look was an insult? We don’t know.
If you’re getting the surgery, it’s just best to change your eating habits now.
Communication talk to him
Are you happy with yourself? Sound like you think your being judge but your not… but you have the next best thing at home your boyfriend a fit guy I’m assuming gym… why do you go with him ask for tips thats if you want to going at direction a couplecthatcworks out together stays together x
Hunni take it from a big size lady (47 kilos and a size 10)
Don’t worry about what he thinks
Your goals are for you no one else
You won’t feel better until you clarify with him. Have the conversation.
He definitely was hinting you. You can’t be too sensitive about it if you know you have a problem already. Just let him know you’re plans and he can be a support. Being together for so long, there’s no need to be sensitive about realistic topics. If you’re unhealthy and need to lose weight then you do. There’s no need to feel bad or emotional about it. It is what it is. Time to get active and get going.
Please note that everyone I know that has had the bariatric surgery will eventually (if not immediately) have difficulty with Iron/ anemia because that is usually the area of stomach that is removed. Iron infusions by IV are necessary at a Cancer Center….taking Iron pills won’t be helpful
The internet is not ur bf brain…therefore we don’t what he was thinking
It’s you being unhappy with you. Doesn’t really matter what he thinks. Decide that you want to eliminate that even being an issue and focus on a slow, healthy way to eat less calories and exercise more. There’s no magic.
You gonna 
him or me 
Girl you’re worth more then that.
Get you a real man and throat him.
He looked at you. He didn’t say anything. This just sounds like you projecting your own insecurities.
I personally don’t know how anyone could enjoy watching that crap
If he didn’t say anything to you or about you I’m confused about your question
Communication is key. So talk to him
Bariatric surgery is not easy. You have to be on a restricted diet from now on. If you eat more than you should or snack alot your stomach will stretch out again and weight comes back. Lots of folks have bad luck with the surgery. Some vitamins and minerals are not going to be utilized. Some people develop abscess and have to have surgery to get them removed. I have seen people get really sick and even die because of the surgery. But I know that a stomach sleeve is easier also than the actual bariatric surgery where they staple the stomach. Please inform yourself before doing it. Because you can start a diet now will help you also. Maybe with exercise and a strict diet you won’t even need surgery. Good luck.
You’re asking us strangers if your boyfriend looked at you in a way that implied he doesn’t like your weight??
Just talk to him 
Nobody knows what he was thinking. And you can’t base anything off of a facial expression he made, I have resting b*tch face so people think I’m mean and I’m far from mean.
The only person you can change is yourself I’m sorry but your boyfriend sounds like an asshole
I believe it was a look…and if it made you feel a certain way maybe ask yourself why ? It may not have been his intentions and insecurities coming out 
Maybe it could be your own insecurities about how you feel about yourself, and you’re putting that on him. We weren’t there, but only the two of you know what was said and the looks that were made. Either way, love yourself enough to where what someone says or the looks they make, won’t affect you.
I did weight watchers and drank nothing but water it helped me I went from 237 to 197
he has a right to be afraid that you just might be gaining too much wt, He sounds like he loves you no matter what size you are, but again too much wt can have a GREAT effect on ones health, so continue to gain wt & don’t give a shit, because it sounds like you don’t really care…sorry It is your life, so live it with as many snacks as you want. Or you can get up & maybe go for a walk & eat a little better
It’s hard to say without being there with yall. But remember he fell in love with you for a reason. Don’t forget that. And don’t place your value in a man’s hands anyway. If your self conscious/unhappy with your body then do what makes you happy! Get that surgery! Eat a bit healthier,little by little. Just until you feel healthy and confident. Do it for you anf then you won’t be questioning his comments because you’ll be happy in your own skin.
Me and my boyfriend joke all the time … “keep eating like that and you’ll end up turning into a marshmallow!” 
“Your always hungry ,your gonna go to the gym and burn that all off now !” Haha I really don’t care because I know I look alright…I do suffer sometimes with binge eating and stuff …But I always get back on track and have a good body image .I think maybe it was something that was said without much thought .My boyfriend is pretty good at picking up on my emotions and generally won’t shit stir me if he knows I’m not 100% …But when he does sometimes he will say silly things He recorded a video of me eating a whole cake once haha 
…Honestly didn’t care because I live an active lifestyle and it’s a one off .Maybe bring up that he hurt your feelings …You’ll find he probably said it without reading the situation and realising your having self confidence issues .