Dont stress over family. Do what is best and stredsfree for you
Stay home and do your own thing with your familyâŚ
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Have it at your house.
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Do what you want to do!
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We normally do Thanksgiving with my husbands family if they get to come down. Then we do christmas eve at my grandmaâs. And christmas day we cook and stay home. We also stay home on new years eve to bring it in with our kids. You got to do whatâs best for your little family. Best of luck to you
If your mom gets mad, thatâs her business. She should put what you want over what she wants. Have Christmas at your house for your little family and then go visit family. Or visit your brother a few days before. Thatâs what we do. We always spend Christmas at home
Iâd stay home with my own little family 
Maybe you could offer to host? 
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I would just stay home & enjoy the day with your family
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Did you commit to your brother? If not, I donât know why turning the invite down is a big deal. Or you can just say, Iâve decided with his trip on the 27th, itâs too much to drive down and back in that time, and invite them to your place. Is there some reason you canât host? If you really just want to go to your in laws, then tell them that your in laws will pitch a fit if you donât go and make it like they act the way your mother does. Lay it out and she has a choice to act the same way as you just said they do, or talk shit about their behavior and be a delusional hypocrite. Either way, I say you snicker about her reaction and do what makes you happy. Why do you enable her negative behavior by trying to avoid upsetting her? Confront it. If it gets worse, does it affect your life? Does she watch your kids for free while you work or hold something over you? If not, then youâre indulging her behavior for no reason, and if you wouldnât let your children get away with that shit, then you shouldnât let her get away with it. If you NEED her for something and she will withhold it⌠thatâs tricky. Then I guess you have no choice but to use the trip and offer to host instead. 
I would do what makes you and your family happy and is more convenient. Donât put you , or your family out because your mom is going to get mad. She will either get over it or tough crap! Your a mother too and your kids come first!
We do one year at home ( so there is no travelling. Anyone is welcome to pop buy. And one year with the family. The 24th we drive 4 hrs one way to spen the day and Christmas dinner with his family and then we drive to my momâs for the 25 which is 4 hrs back and spen the 25th with them and dinner. That way the kids get to spend it with both sides of our family. Keep a balence and remember not everyone is orginized. Also remember one day your kids will be grown and have children of there own. How would you feel if your kids do the same to you and donât come home every other Christmas but spend it all the time with there spouses family.
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Stick with the in-laws.
Have it at your House enjoy your time with your Husband and Children invite who you want if they come fine if not donât worry about it let them wallow in there on Sadness have rules and stick by them but the main thing is enjoy Christmas
Do what makes you happy not other family members. Have your own family Xmas together at your house where itâs nice and relaxed
Its just my husband and our 6 kids. My step mom is gone, we used to all gather at her house. Ny husbandâs family is in Mexico so its just us. Wish it was all the family together. Do whatâs best and easiest for you. You donât know your brothers gf and her family so i wouldnât go there, thatâs weirdâŚ
Stay home in your house and invite who you want. Tell family you want the kids to have Christmas in their house.
Stay home. Get one of those full dinners from Safeway so you donât have to start from scratch with 2 little ones. Invite others if you choose. That is to much traveling for the kiddoâs , husband and you. InLaws always an option too. Make it an enjoyable Christmas though. 3 hour drive is not enjoyable.